How Do I Stop Night Feedings?

I don't know who you've talked to or what books you've read by experts, but all of my kids have eaten through the night. They are SUPPOSE to. They need to keep their blood sugar even and their stomachs are very small. They are growing at nearly the same rate in the womb - remember how hungry you were? My first baby ate every 2 hours throughout the day and night and still (at age 6) has a very fast metabolism and eats constantly - he's very thin. My next one ate every 4 hours and this last one eats at 8pm, 11pm and 4am...usually and it's only because she put herself on that schedule. EVERY baby is different and have different needs. Listen to your child. They don't eat becuase they are bored or out of habit. They eat out of necessity. Have you ever tried to feed your baby when they weren't hungry? They totally ignore you and push away. They know what they need.

Of course, we bedshare, so we ALL get our sleep. I just roll over and BF the babies before they cry, so I don't train them to cry when they want something. I hear the change in their breath and little noises and then I feed them. My husband stays dead asleep...and I am only awake for about a minute each time they need to eat.

We own our own business and run it without help, so we definitely need to get our sleep....and with 3 kids ages 6, 2 and 9 months, we definitely understand the sleep issue.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

PS: Our 6 and 2 year olds sleep through the night and our 2 year old takes one nap each day. They are totally independent and go to bed when asked, without fussing or fighting us....but they are also very secure knowing that we are not going anywhere.

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While I have not be on Mamasource for very long it is always amazing to see how many different ways of parenting there are and what works for some may not work for others. I am a mom of a two year old and 14 week old and have gotten a lot of "I hate you's" because both of my breast fed children slept through the night at around 12-14 weeks. I knew it was time to drop the nighttime feeding when they would only nurse on one side for less than 5 minutes. They were just waking for comfort. As early as 12 weeks babies know if they cry mom will come and offer some sort of comfort which is usually food. Many moms do exactly what you are doing because they thing their baby is hungry and when put to the breast the baby eats. What many of you may not know is that this is a natural reflex and a pacifier (if they'll take it) will do the same thing. It's not all about luck but giving your child a routine during the day. Not a rigid routine but doing the same things around the same time every day. They thrive on this and will know what to expect and you can plan your day in between feedings. I've read lots of books and magazines on several different types of parenting and use my findings to create what works for our family. A book that was recommended to me was Babywise-giving your child the gift of nighttime sleep. It's an easy read and will lay the foundation for how you want to parent. Your baby will be fine without the nighttime feed, you will be more rested, your baby will be more rested, and your husband will be very happy to have you back in the same bed. Don't forget to take care of you and your marriage-so many people push that aside and you need to make time for each other-even if it is only to cuddle. Let us know how everything turns out.

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Totally agree with Susan, Stephanie and Jennifer...this is completely okay.

My son went through various incarnations of night feedings from 3-10 months old.

Growth spurts, seperation anxiety and just basic need for food is essential at this time.

Just go with the flow and it will be fine.

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5 months is still pretty young. I would say wait at least a few more months before cutting out the night time feedings. Just my opinion :) I didn't stop the night time feedings till about 10 months, and even then I would still give in once in a while if I just couldn't get her back down again when she woke up in the middle of the night! ;)

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Hi S.,

Boy do I know what you are going through. I have a 5 month old little girl who has yet to sleep through the night. She still wakes up VERY often. It is so exhausting. I am trying the No-Cry Sleep Solution written by Elizabeth Pantley. It is a very gently way of helping your baby sleep longer at night without the help of others to fall back asleep. I would suggest trying it.
Good luck,
J.

You might have to disturb the husband for a few nights. When he wakes and you know he won't feed run the vacuum in an adajecent room. Do not go to him until he falls asleep (depending on how much he cries and how much you will take), he will get the idea. I did it with my boys and it worked.

Couple of things to think about and apply. Sleep in your own room, baby smells you. Start a nightly routine of bath then feeding, baths help sooth. Wear the little guy out with a new toy, or baby Einstein to encourage a longer sleep. Feed cereal for dinner (speak with Dr.). When baby wakes up, just sooth him...this may make him angry, but if it works you're breaking the cycle. Good luck!

I didn't read the other responses, so pardon any repeating! I agree that every two hours seems a bit much, but odds are he may need at least one feeding during the night. I remember our dr telling us that most babies need to eat during the night until they are 8, 9 months -- even up to a year old! Their tummies are so small.

However, every two hours is a bit much. First, you need to enlist your husbands help. If your son wakes and sees/smells you, he's going to want to eat. But if your husband is there to comfort him, he can hopefully get him back to sleep without food.

While it's admirable that you are so concerned about your husband's sleep, the reality is that he's the parent too. This is something for both of you to work on.

I'd also get out of the babies room. We co-slept/had our son in our room until he was about 6 months. You need to be sleeping with your husband -- not just for your marriage, but so when the baby wakes up at 3 am you can nudge him and say "your turn" :).

Whatever you decide to do, stick with it. And think in small steps, not huge ones. Good luck!

I can totally relate with what you are going through. I really wanted to offer my boy (now almost 7 months old) everything that he "needed." I also know that every child is different and responds per their personality. I know that reading a book may be to daunting at this point, but "reading" (skimming and reading what was relevant to me) Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child really changed our entire families lives. The members of my mommy group noticed the change in his personality right away!! I highly recommend this book to inform your choice!
C. H

Get the book HEALTHY SLEEP HABITS, HAPPY CHILD by Weissbluth. I think it will really help you. You need to slowly work your way out of the room. Your baby can sense you there and possibly smell the milk. I've heard of moms creeping the mattress slowly out the door little by little. Not sure how old the baby needs to be for this to be appropriate. Check out the book for sure! Also do a little reading about "scheduled awakenings" when you've gotten further along with longer spans of time btwn feedings. It worked like a charm for me to night wean my twins. You need your sleep too!!! Good luck!

S.,

First of all... what a fantastic Idea. Sleeping in his room, However, i do think that 5 month is quite lengthy for one to sleep without their husband.(just my opinion) Although, I'm not sure if your husband is a light sleeper.

For breaking night time feedings.. First you should try to stick to the same bed time routine. When he wakes at night get up place a pacifier back in (if he takes one) then lay back down. If that doesnt work. Gently rub his back or tummy for a few minutes and then lay back down. Worst case senerio let him cry for 5 or 8 minutes. He might just try himself back to sleep. This method is call the "Ferber" method. Some parents think it's cruel to let their children cry when they are clearly crying for you. however, your the parent and you can read up on his method and figure how how extreme you prefer to use his methods. I do a little of both depending on how tired or if my children are sick or not. It try to resist the urge to pick him up. He needs to learn to go back to sleep on his own. Def don't put a bottle or the breast in just to quiet him... If he falls back to sleep for only an hour... consider that success. eventually his night time feeding will continue to push back and then one morning you'll wake up feeling refreshed and thinking.... how wonderful.

If the first way doesnt work. Try to take your self out of his room. As mommies we hear every breath our children take. So the moment he begins to stir... we wake up.Depending on how big your home is, you may need a baby monitor. I'd say like most transitions from the bassinet in our room to a crib in his own room... this is the same routine. Do your same bed time routine, stay in there only long enough for him to fall asleep. Then leave, spend that extra time with your hubby before you two head off to bed. Be prepared to get up and out of bed. Prepare your husband too. My husband is in the Military works early mornings and some late random times at night too.I too at first felt guilty of asking him for help when I'm the one who stays home with our children during the day.

It may take a week... but with the two of you together as a team it can be done. Follow the same steps as if you are in his room only go to your bed and turn down the monitor slighty and lay back down. You will prolly lose a little sleep over this new transition but once he learns... sleepless nights will be over!!

Hi S.! I know this is hard, but it's time to go back to your own room and let the baby cry. When my twins reached 4 months I did the same. At least let him/her cry for an hour before you intervene and that's a start. It's hard, but what's wrong with hard?

You will thank me later!!!! ( I hope) lol

A.

At my daughters' 4 mo. check-up, Dr. Warner told us that they no longer needed the calories and, as you said, were just waking up out of habit. His weaning advice was to take out one feeding at a time until our girls slept through the night.

How? Let them cry. Now, in order for this to really work (the ignoring part), you would have to be out of the room. I chose one feeding I thought would be easiest for my babies to go without to start. When they woke up, I ignored them, and they went right back to sleep! Dr. Warner told me to not let them cry for longer than 10 minutes, but they never cried that long without falling back to sleep.

Once they slept through this feeding without waking up (maybe four nights?), I started to ignore the other feeding, and so on.

It's really hard to "ignore" your baby, but it really is for the best. Trust me when I say that I completely understand the extreme physical, emotional ache you feel any time your little one cries out. My doctor assured me my babies would be happier getting solid sleep at night, and he was right. They were much more fun during the day once they started sleeping through the night.

Good luck!!!

Hi S., I am a Sleep Consultant and Parenting Coach. I agree with the other mom's that you need to not sleep in his room. Everytime he wakes up and sees you he gets stimulated and wakes up fully instead of just going back to sleep. Secondly, He is more than old enough to sleep through the night without feeding, I start helping parents with this as young as 8-10 weeks. When he wakes up in the night, wait a few minutes, don't rush in, give him an opportunity to soothe himself back to sleep. If he is still crying after a few minutes(crying, not fussing or talking) go to him and tell him it's time to go back to sleep, then leave the room. He will cry but that's ok. He will learn the valuable skill of comforting himself to sleep. The first day or two will be rough but it shouldn't take too much more time than that. Good Luck and best wishes,
K. Smith
www.theindependentchild.com

It is so hard I know - I did it for over a year and wish I would have stopped. The first thing is to NOT sleep in their room. They can smell the milk - so the closer you are it will wake him. Then you will need a lot of will power and strength because he will cry for you and you will have to tell him he's ok from the doorway but not go in or pick him up so he'll fall asleep on his own. There is a DVD called Sleepy Planet - or you can look them up online. I got it and found it very helpful although every baby is different. I know they need to be a certain weight before stopping the night feedings so check on that - the Sleepy Planet DVD covers all that and offers a way to wean at night as well instead of cold turkey. Good luck and hang in there but sleeping back in your bed may buy you some valuable time.

There is no way to "stop" night feedings. Every two hours does seem a little much, however he is still so little. Don't deprive him of his need for you. Is he teething? Maybe that is causing him to wake so often. Or maybe he is having a growth spurt? The beauty of being a SAHM is so that you can be there all night long, its not like you have to get up and go to work in the morning (although i do see you work from home). Congrats on your marriage, ten years is something to celebrate!!
My daughter will be one this month, and she still wakes up 3 times a night to eat/be comforted. At times i complain, but then i remember i need to be thankful.