I have been well-known for being so self-disciplined person (at times I have been very unpopular for not being flexible on schedule and goals...) but lately I find myself not being able to focus. I usually have a to-do list (I love lists for the love of God) and I will sit here and instead of jumping right on taks #1, I will check my email, get distracted by an article, get up and check if the mailman came, etc then 2 hours go by of my ONLY day where my kids go to a nursery school for 4 hours...and then I'm panicking that I got nothing done. Instead of using those last 2 hours then run like a crazy chicken back and forth. I'm driving myself nuts, I can't do this. I need my self-control and self-discipline.
Please give me some tips!!!!!
Can't help you, I'm procrastinating as well... hence being on this site ;)
I do really well with lists. I make a list of what to do, errands to run... I love the feeling of accomplishment once I cross something off my list!
I'd advise you but I'm on mamapedia when I could be doing something productive!
Do you enjoy deadlines? I'm one of those people who has to have a deadline. Once I'm close to the deadline, I am the most highly efficient person you'll ever meet! But if I have weeks and weeks to go before a deadline, I will goof off until the deadline looms. :( I've always been that way. I think I just love stress, and without it I get nothing done. And then when I'm in the goofing off phase, I feel guilty for not being more efficient. My husband gave me some great advice: if you're not going to do your work, then at least do something else that's productive. Start a load of laundry, make a phone call you've been meaning to make, go to the grocery store, mail a birthday card, organize your desk drawer... whatever it is, just do something that will make the rest of your day/week/month go better. And then it's done, and your procrastinating time hasn't been a total waste. And sometimes, you just need some mental downtime, and that's okay too. Give yourself permission to slack every now and then.
Maybe you're suffering from burn out. :) That happens to me sometimes, but I just take it in stride. You're only one person; not everything can be done all the time. Things will get back on track. I say stop panicking, take in a little quiet time, and just hang out for a bit!
I have a similar personality. I'm not a MASTER of the to-do list, but I do keep one going and work from home so I have to stay pretty disciplined.
Since you do like lists and goals, here's a funny suggestion: PLAN an unstructured half day for yourself. If you know ahead of time that you're not going to accomplish anything important, that you're just going to follow your whim, you won't be h*** o* yourself for not "getting anything done." And we all do need time to just putter around. It's soothing and settling.
My husband and I used to do this for a whole day once a month (before kids, sigh). We would schedule a "drift day" and literally drift through the day doing whatever we wanted to do together. Sometimes we'd end up driving down the coast, sometimes we'd drive into the city, sometimes we'd take a hike and then watch a movie. Sometimes we'd just lounge around the house all day.
The satisfaction (and relaxation) came from having realistic expectations.
Above all, don't be too h*** o* yourself!
I feel the same way and was going to post something like this earlier today. Since I had my baby going on 6 weeks now, I have not been able to stay focused and get things done around the house. I just feel physically and emotionally tired! My advice would be to take it one day at a time and try to tackle your to-do list by completing one or to tasks a day and try to increase it each day. Now I need to get off this site and take my own advice! Good luck!
I find that there are times where I need to just shut my mind off and do mindless things, quietly, in a quiet house. Constant "Mommy, why is this?" and "Mommy, why is that?" can get to a person. Perhaps this is what's happening to you, and the issue isn't that you're lacking self discipline, but that you're failing to recognize that you need some brain-dead time too, and that that's okay!!! There's nothing wrong with it!!! I work a full-time (plus+++) schedule, but have one day off per 2 week pay period. Typically I use this day to do all the business day errands I can't typically do while I'm working, Dr's appointments, DMV, teacher conferences, etc... but every now and then I find I need a good mindless day, and I send my son to school and proceed to watch the Jersylicious marathon in my pajamas for the next 6 hours. It's okay. All those urgent things can wait for the next day off. I've found that I really only need to do this 3 to 4 times a year, in order to feel mentally balanced.... so there's still plenty of opportunity to get the work done.
If you really need organization help, I've heard that flylady.net is a great place for help managing and organizing. However, it sounds to me like you have very little time to yourself and that you need some downtime. Instead of beating yourself up for not getting EVERYTHING on your list done, decide on one or two things and celebrate that you got that much finished. Honestly, most of the chores will be there tomorrow and your kids won't remember if your house was spotless or that everything was organized perfectly. They'll remember when you spent time with them, had fun with them, talked about important things with them. Looking back, I wish I had taken more time to smell the roses so to speak.
I can think of a bazillions tips and tricks to stay organized and on target etc., but it sounds like more than anything you need to get away (without the kids or husband) from it all. I say this with love and as a mom of two small boys and a person with the same symptoms. I love list as well and I love telling everyone in my house what to do. I'm going to own it Im a control freak.
You did not say that you are the big boss in the house, but usually people who like to keep things super organized can be a bit controlling.
If leaving for say 2 days is too much then day at the spa and some time out with friends or some other activity thy you love, but do it without he kids. I've started to go out more with friends and it really helps. I've also limited my todo list to a few things a day so I am not set up to fail. And I've given my husband more to do.
Disclaimer: I have never left my husband with the boys for more than a few hours, but recently I have been dreaming of doing so. I know the house will be a mess when I get back etc. Does it really matter? Hells bells I pick up after them 20 times a day anyway. And if I can survive a day a two on my own when he goes off on a business trip then he can make it for a few days without me.
You are procrastinating, you are taking some time for yourself! I have 2 kids and work full time. I am one of those people who MUST have alone time or it get's ugly. You aren't going to like either of these options but this is what I do" 1. I get up at 5am almost every day. That usually gives me an hour alone each day to read, Bible study, or futz around on the computer.
2. I really limit the computer time while the family is around. I try to be with them or do the endless piles of laundry and clean. If you are a SAHM, stay off of the computer during the day and focus on your kids and the house. This will give you time for yourself when they go to nursery school.
Some classical music and stick to daily to do lists, limit computer and phone use.
