22 answers

How Do I Make My Three Year Old Mind Me

I have a three year old who doesn't like to mind. I have tried everything and he just doesn't want to mind. I have tried disciplining him and it doesn't seem to work. It works for a little bit and that is it. When I ask him to do something and he says that he can't. I count to three and then he does it for me. Help please what can I do?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I tried punishing, now I reward. I made a good girl chart and everyday she was good before bed she got to put a sticker on the day it was and if she went 1st 3 days she got a prize them I moved it up to a week. now the chart is forgoten about and she is always GOOD! a few days here and there, but don't we all? watch super nanny too good tips on there as well. punishing did not work for my child, rewarding and POSITIVE reineforcment did.

2 moms found this helpful

Maybe instead of discipline use a reward system. Give him a reward but only when he does what he supposed to.Working mother of twin 7yr old boys.

1 mom found this helpful

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I tried punishing, now I reward. I made a good girl chart and everyday she was good before bed she got to put a sticker on the day it was and if she went 1st 3 days she got a prize them I moved it up to a week. now the chart is forgoten about and she is always GOOD! a few days here and there, but don't we all? watch super nanny too good tips on there as well. punishing did not work for my child, rewarding and POSITIVE reineforcment did.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi M.-

This might sound obvious, but have you had his hearing tested? I am an early childhood diagnostic teacher, which means that I test 2-5 year olds for special ed. It sounds silly, but I've met several mothers who say their children just don't listen, and later find out that the child has a hearing problem, fluid in the ears, etc.

Aside from that, just try to be patient and calm. Always have an immediate consequence for his not minding. If he gets used to you asking him to do something three times before you finally make him do it, he's conditioned to that and figures why listen the first time. I know it's so hard to always be consistent, but it works!

1 mom found this helpful

I am 58 years old and raised 2 children and now have 4 grand children. Not that I know a lot about raising kids, but it seems like some kids just "can't" listen or mind. I wish I knew about this when my son was little as he was very unmindful and I made a lot of mistakes - yelled a lot at him. It did no good and probably as I understand it today did him more harm than good. I wish I knew about ISOTONIC B COMPLEX. This product when taken allows a child/adult to fucus, keep calm and also gives you focused energy. I have seen kids very unruly (including my grandchildren) and hiperactive. When given a small amount of this ISOTONIC product they are reading a book and behaving within minutes. I could send you many testamonials as well. But go to my website and read about the "ISOTONIC B COMPLEX." Got to www.marketamerica.com/salemi. If you log in to the site you will build credits for every order you place and eventually get free products. Please be sure to read about the B complex - it is under the catagory of "general health."

If you have more questions email me at: ____@____.com. I hope this helps.

J.

1 mom found this helpful

M. , i agree , counting to three, will only make it worse, i did that and too found it did not work well, they will do it at 3 cause they know you mean business, if you mean business right away you will get qicker action , this takes a while, cause in a sense you are not training him you are training you, i had to train me to not to count, and the bibles advice on making your yes, mean yes, and your no mean no, also helped in child rearing, if you say no to a child, and thenchange it to a yes, you are creating issues that will be hard to correct later, also visa versa, if you say this will happen if you dont do this, then follow through, so choose your words wisely, very hard to do sometimes, but think is that what i really want to uphold, if it is go for it, make a stand and stick to it, they will know exactly where you stand, and with counting to 3 they know you will only get ticked off when you reach 2, or maybe 2 1/2 .... 2 3/4.... hahahah quit counting, and let him know what is to be expected, if he does not do it , apply the expected, soon both of you will be happier, till hes 13, hahahahaha even then keep your word true, have a good day, and i know how hard it is, D. s

1 mom found this helpful

STAND YOUR GROUND. The most important rule is to set firm rules/boundaries, make sure he knows what they are and what the consequences of breaking them will be, and then stick to them. Wishy-washy rule making is one of the leading causes of trouble-making in kids. Part of your son's problem is his age, he's exploring his world and he's testing his boundaries. But NOW is the time to teach him to respect you. Let him know that you mean what you say. Don't give in, even if he throws a temper-tantrum in the store or in front of the President of the United States. Discipline him if necessary (don't use anger or hate, but firm consequences). And always remind him of the rules and why he's being punished when you do discipline, that way he'll begin to grasp the Actions=Consequences equation. Most importantly, be patient with yourself and your son. If a consequence isn't working, try something more drastic. Always direct his actions in love and he will learn to respect you... this will prove VERY beneficial when he's in his teenage years!
Best wishes.

1 mom found this helpful

It may just be a phase that he is going through or he may be like my daughter (who is now almost 4) and who I would consider a "strong willed child". You need to be consistent in your discipline but I have noticed that discipline doesn't always work for my daughter. Mostly the easist thing for me has been to give her options and let her know what I expect of her and then give her time to do those things. If I give a command and expect her to do it right away then she gets defensive. Try to make what you want him to do fun (make it into a game)or try offering him two options, "you can either pick up your toys or help me dust the table". It gives them the feeling of helping but also gives them the feeling like they have a say in the matter. Let him know that if he doesn't do what you have asked him you will take away something. That way again you are giving him the choice to either listen to you or the choice to loss a privelage or a toy for awhile.

Good luck!
M. N.

1 mom found this helpful

Here is what seems to work for us...

When we find ourselves in a 'battle of authority' with our son, we kneel to his level look him straight in the eye and gently remind him what the roles of our family are. He is our son, and we are mommy and daddy. We love him very much and that we make the decisions. I don't know if it is just our son, but he really understands this approach and is happy to follow through on the instructions he has received. It helps to have back-up, so when dad is home, and he's not listening to mommy, dad will step in with the same approach and reinforces it. We don't yell and it's not scary - but he does understand that we mean what we say. Hope this helps! Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

I also have a 3&1/2 and a 1& 1/2 year old boys, and you got to nip it in the bud right now or they will run you instead of you running the rules. I had trouble with the 3 yr. old minding and staying put in timeouts, but both mom & dad have to enforce a "yes mom" reply to requests, sometimes in the beginning I had to ask him to do something and then say to him "Say yes Mom" and he would usually do it, now he says all by himself. Dad was really a big help to, reminding him to say it when he was around. For timeouts, they dont start until he's done with his "fit", and I started with 2 min. and increased the time as he got used to staying put. Now he knows when he's in trouble and he'll say "set the timer Mom!" He's getting much better now, and more pleasant with siblings.
Good Luck.

1 mom found this helpful

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