8 answers

How Do I Help My Two Year Old Stop Crying When I Drop Him off at Daycare?

I have a 2 1/2 year old who just started daycare for the first time in February. (His father and i both work full time and up until then we worked different shifts so he wouldnt have to go and we could save money. Now our schedules have changed and we have put him into daycare which he is responding to great, the only concern is when i drop him off he crys when we get to the parking lot, screams when we are in his class and cries for about 5 minutes after i am gone. (He does not do this when his father drops him off) i have trued playing games with him to engage him with the other kids when we arrive, i have sat for 10-15 minutes in hopes of transistioning him and then i sneak out when hes not looking, ive reassured him that i will return and that everthing is going to be ok. But he still cries, claws and screams.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

You guys Rock! I combined a few of your suggestions and so far 2 days and No crying!! Yay. I had his father talk to him and tell him to be a big boy, when we get in the car i play his music and dont necessarily sing or play with him directly, when we get near the school i explain to him that we are going to school, hes going to walk in and say hi to his teacher and then im going to give him a kiss and a hug and ill be back later. Then i say no whining no crying right? he agrees and so far it has gone smoothly. Plus i talked to his teacher and she has his favorite toy out waiting for him and she has run up to greet him with the toy and takes him to the other kids. Thanks sooo much! it was so easy that i cant beleive i didnt know what to do!!! :)

Featured Answers

This happened with my son when he was 2 years old. The Teacher and I talked a bit about it and her best advise was for me to make a short and sweet goodbye. I was to kiss him and tell him to have fun, that I would see him as soon as I was done at work. I hated it! I felt like such a bad mother leaving my son at day care while I did what I "wanted". I would sing songs on the way to day care, tell him how much I would miss him and I was only making it worse!

I thought that I would try what the teacher suggested. I played a tape in the morning in the car, instead of singing and talking to him. After we walked to his room, I stood just inside the doorway, gave him a quick hug and kiss and said good-bye, then walked away. It was hard not to go back when I heard his cries. I waited in the office to see how he would handle it, and within 2 minutes he stopped crying. After a couple of weeks, he didn't even start crying.

I guess my own anxiety was rubbing off on him, and he thought that he was supposed to cry and carry on when I left him.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

This happened with my son when he was 2 years old. The Teacher and I talked a bit about it and her best advise was for me to make a short and sweet goodbye. I was to kiss him and tell him to have fun, that I would see him as soon as I was done at work. I hated it! I felt like such a bad mother leaving my son at day care while I did what I "wanted". I would sing songs on the way to day care, tell him how much I would miss him and I was only making it worse!

I thought that I would try what the teacher suggested. I played a tape in the morning in the car, instead of singing and talking to him. After we walked to his room, I stood just inside the doorway, gave him a quick hug and kiss and said good-bye, then walked away. It was hard not to go back when I heard his cries. I waited in the office to see how he would handle it, and within 2 minutes he stopped crying. After a couple of weeks, he didn't even start crying.

I guess my own anxiety was rubbing off on him, and he thought that he was supposed to cry and carry on when I left him.

2 moms found this helpful

IF he's not crying and screaming when his dad drops him off then it's simply bc he knows he can't get away with acting like that. Have your husband talk to him at night and in the morning. Something like "Mommy is going to take you to school today. Remember how big of a boy you are for me when I take you? You don't cry or scream and that's a great thing. Well, I need you to do the same thing for Mommy. She's going to take you to school and she's going to pick you up." Something to that effect.

That worked wonders for my daughter. She would do the same thing but after about a week of her father talking to her she no longer acted like that. It was smooth sailing after that!~ LOL

1 mom found this helpful

As a preschool teacher, I say ask your teacher to help make the transition fast. Tell him a few times on the way that you are going to give him a hug and a kiss and you will be back soon. Once there stick to the same game plan, a hug and a kiss, then say "I will be back soon" then leave. The teacher should be able to take over at that point and get him intersted in what the other children are doing. This seems to work with 99 percent of children in my school. If he sees that you are getting worked up, he will cry. (Even though its tough, just do the departure fast.)

1 mom found this helpful

I am currently going through this also. When my daughter sees the parking log she starts getting upset. I have started telling her when she gets up that she is going to have so much fun at school today...playing with her friends and going on the playground. When we get there I act really happy and excited to be at the daycare. She has started following my lead. On the way to the room I tell her that I will be back and to have fun. Her teacher is GREAT and drops everything to take Kelsey from my arms. I wave bye-bye and smile. My daughter only goes 2 days a week so that might have something to do with it. They do pick up on anxiety so I try to put on a happy face.

1 mom found this helpful

I would definitely not sneak out... I would think that might take away from his sense of security. I would do it quick. Drop him off with a hug and a kiss and don't linger. Just tell him you love him and you'll be back. Maybe he's crying because he knows it will get you to stay a while. I'll bet it doesn't last too long. Good luck! Maybe ask them at daycare what they suggest. I'm sure they have had this experience before.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi my name is D. I also have a two year old and he cries sometimes when I leave him too,you just have to reassure him that you will be back in a little while and that everything will be ok. Tell him that you will do something when special when you do return that usually works for me.

1 mom found this helpful

Well, your child is acting normal for 2 1/2 and I agree that the teacher should help with the transition use the hug, kiss and I will see you in a short time method. Don't sneek off prepare your child the nite before and on the way by saying you get to go have fun while I go work for a few hours. I had to do this and you'll find daycare, preschool even kindergarten many parents have this situation to deal with each stage of toddler to young child. I used those methods with my oldest child it helped after alot of work at it. Most of all if you get upset the can read it try your best not to be upset show a smiling face it's an adjustment for both of you and it's never easy. As a parent I always worry is this the right thing when my child would cry it's part of growing is what I always had to tell myself. Call and talk to the daycare while your child isn't standing there upset crying and ask them to help with this transition. By the way I always felt better when I was able to stop in when on one knew I was coming you now off your set schedule and peek in to see everyone is doing as they say and my child really is ok of course with the cild seeing you at all.
Good luck you can do this it's just an adjustment.

1 mom found this helpful

Well D. I went through this. My little boy cried to, but if you keep it simple and a constant routine then you will see him change in time. When you drop him off don't make it a production. he will soon be used to going and start running into daycare instead of making you feel bad for leaving making you feel bad for not saying good bye. Hang in there. It is definitely harder on you then him. Good Luck A. www.busymomsworkathome.com

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