How Do I Get School to Help My Child

I agree that your son needs to learn skills to deal with his problems instead of being punished ast school because of them. If the school suspended him at this young age and dropped him to half day from full day without consulting you, then I would say to take your son to a different school. As many others have also suggested, it sounds like your child needs to have an IEP (Individualized Education Program). This is usually done by the special education/resource department in conjunction with you, the teacher and principal. I have found that asking the teacher to help you get in touch with the correct people in the school that can address your concerns seems to be most effective because they know your child, they know who in the school is the best to address the concerns and they know how the school deals with it. My daughter is in 1st grade in public schools has Autism. She does have an IEP that addresses time on the playground, cafeteria, halls and other areas that are not in the classroom. She has an Aide with her at all times when she is not in the classroom, mainly because she has issues with communication and socialization. The Aide helps her play appropriately on the playground with other children which will help her make friends and get along with the other children. Anyway, if you don't get a response from your letter, call the school and ask to talk with the appropriate person or go into the office in person and demand that you see them. The earlier you and the school deal with your sons problems the easier it will be to effectively treat the behaviors. The longer it takes the harder it will be. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

Hi, V.
I, too, had that problem with my 9 year old. WE have dealt with that since he was in Kinder as well. Oh, he was suspended several times (3-4) this year for doing stuff due to his impulsivity. We tried it all, therapy, behavioral programs, etc. We finally had him see a pyscholoist and he was diagnosed with ADHD. We fought for a year on putting him on meds as we thought we could control his actions or at least help him along with his impulsivity, but to no avail. We finally sat down and talked to him about his behavior and advised him of putting him on medication. Once he began taking his meds, he started changing. He says it wasn't the meds, but it was him trying to work it out. The school he is in, has really worked with us. The teacher, the counselor, and the principal have all laid out a positive reinforcement plan for us and for him in order to keep him on a steady but positive path. It has worked! He has been getting 100% for a couple of months, got a most improved certificate; but most of all, he has not been suspended and his grades shot up to A's and B's. BTW, I failed to tell you that some schools have a 403 plan (behavioral plan) which they have to work with the parents and child with. I don't know though about the charter schools. Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi V.:

I'm not sure where you live but I live in Alb and my son has the same thing. It can be part of sensory issues. I had him tested through a program called ChildFind which is administered by APS. He is in a developmental preschool now that helps him with his impulsivity and also goes to an OT outside. We have already met with his kindergarten teacher for next year and set up an IEP for him to be in full kindergarten half the day and a smaller kindergarten the other half for next year. This will help him transitition from a smaller class to a larger class without being overstimulated.

If the charter school is not helping you, get him out of there. It doesn't sound like they are set up to help him and the window of opportunity to address these issues gets smaller every day. You're going to find a lot of people that say his problem isn't anything stern discipline can't fix. Don't listen to them. Listen to your heart and your son. You know how wonderful he can be in the right setting. Be his advocate and your child will shine!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi V.,
My 3 year old had some issues regarding his personal space at preschool. He would get angry and yelled a lot at the other kids. We found that role playing worked very well. I would suggest a "nicer" way of using his words and he eventually began using them at school with his peers. I think role playing a specific situation gave him the knowledge and confidence to correct his behavior. His teachers were also a big help.
Also, be assertive with the principal. Continue to seek his time so he knows you're truly concerned and want to fix the situation.
Don't give up and good luck......this too shall pass.

1 mom found this helpful

first of all, i would find another school. we had simillar issues at a charter school with my oldest in kindergarten, and recieved no help or response. we moved him to a great public school and have been so happy.
second, impusivity can be a part of many different diagnosable conditions. i only mention this becuase if he is diganosed with something, you can have an IEP or 504 plan wortten up which is a legal document, and the school is required to make the agreed upon adaptations to help him learn. I would suggest you look into sensory integration disorder. it is not a scary disorder, and my son has either grown out of it (he's now in 3rd grade) or has learned to adapt. but, knowing if there is a condition can help you better understand what kind of strategies will work best for him. also, for our son, we did an elimination diet to see if diet had any effect..which it does. he is allergic to soy and when we control his diet, along with keeping all artificial stuff (color, flavor, preservatives) out of his diet, it makes a TREMENDOUS difference. if you have any questions about diagnosis, or legal stuff with schools or diet issues, email me i'm always happy to let people know what we've learned thru our adventures with our son.

Make them! It is their job to work with the parents for all students. Go park outside their office if they will not speak with you. You cannot reach the root of the problem if they (where your child will spend about a third of his young life) will not engage in conversation about him. If the charter is unwilling to discuss such issues, change schools.

Include the School Board in your letter to the principal. I have found that if you do this, the principal will react faster. There has to be a governing board over the principal, and that is who to copy on your letters. In your letter, write down your request, explain why you want it, remind him/ her that he/ she has not responded to your last letter dated ---, and ask that he/ she respond by a certain date. Good luck!

Have his teacher get you the paper work for the 504 Plan. The school has to follow the recommendations.

This is a really difficult question to answer without more information such as: what was he suspended for? What do you mean by impulse issues? Is he hurting other kids or is he just hyper active?

I work in a public school and have found that boys in general just have a difficult time controlling their bodies. And that is completely normal. There are ways to allow the boys to move around when they need to. Also, a lot of studies have been done lately on how boys learn and how the conventional classroom can be a really difficult environment for active little boys.

Keep persuing it with the teacher and the principle. There are a lot of ways to redirect his behavior so he is still getting the most out of kindergarten without disturbing the other children in the classroom. Without knowing what the specific behaviors are it is hard to say.

It also could just be a matter of him not being ready for a full day of Kindergarten. It can be a long, taxing day for those little guys. We waited to put my son in Kindergarten because he wasn't ready when he was 5 for several reasons; controlling his body was one of them.

Does your son have ADHD? Our daughter had impulse control issues (along with many other ADHD symptoms) and the medication she is on now works wonders. She is a whole new child, no longer bluring out and running a muck.

V., GO TO THE SCHOOL BOARD IF THERE IS SUCH A THING IN A CHARTER SCHOOL, PRINCIPAL SHOULD BE MORE RESPONSIVE ALSO, CALL PRINCIPLE, AND SCHOOL BOARD.

N.

Has there been any talk of special education services? It is move not to be taken lightly, but it is an option.
Was your son ok in a half day kidergarten? Or do you think he might be, if you have not had him in one? All day is a really long day for some 5 year olds. (Did the undesired behaviors increase as the day went on?) Not all kids are ready at the same time for the same things.
I might talk with the teacher to see how best to approach the principal. I'd make another attempt to meet her, but if she dodges again, I'd go over her head and tell the district you are attempting to contact her.