27 answers

How Do I Get My 5 Year Old to Sleep in Her Own Bed All Night?

I have a beautiful 5 year old daughter that will not sleep in her own bed. We have tried it all, She's the baby of the family, so I think that may be some of the cause... supportive positive advice Only Please! Thank you!

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

My mom solved this problem with me years ago by getting me my own kitten. I don't know if that's something you could do, but it's a thought! Good luck!

Hi Darlene -
Don't have any advice. But wanted to let you know that this is very common, as you can tell by the other responses. My oldest daughter is 5 1/2 and still sleeping with us too. She is such a great child, its hard for me to be strict with her. (which I never have to be)
I know that soon she will go back to her own room/bed and I am not worried about it. We also have twin 3 year old boys and they stay in their (separate) rooms until we get them in the morning. I think my daughter just sometimes needs special time with her Mom.

Do you watch Supernanny? If not, you should. Kids not sleeping in their own bed seems to be a common thing. Supernanny's suggestion is to put her in her own bed, tuck her in and give her lots of lovin. If she gets up, tell her it's time to go to bed and walk her back in. If she gets up again, don't say anything and then walk her back again. No talking at all on this step even if she throws a fit. If she gets up again, walk her back and put her to bed with no talking to her. You basically have to keep doing it till she gives up. It may be a long few nights the first few, but stick with it and she'll eventually learn who's boss. She's old enough to get it. Again, I suggest you watch Supernanny. She has some really good techniques with stuff like this. Good luck.

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I thought my daughter would be in our bed until she started college. We tried the sticking her in her crib thing and letting her cry til she went to sleep. I don't know who thought that was a good idea!!! I only did that once. Then, I had all kinds of advice. The most reassuring was that she wouldn't still be sleeping with us when she went to college. And, one person even said, "And if she is, so what..." Very reassuring. I just quit worrying about it. She would go to sleep overs and summer camp. She would sleep in her bed when a friend slept over. I started reading to her in her bed and staying til she went to sleep. some nights she slept all nite. If she woke for any reason, she came to our bed. We always let her in.
Then, suddenly, out of the blue, she started insisting on sleeping in her own bed and going to sleep without me! Now I'm the one who needs help as my daughter takes a step further toward independence. I think it will come on it's own.

1 mom found this helpful

You said that you have tried it then now it is time for some tough love. Don't reason with her or give her any choice. Tell her that she is going to sleep in her own bed tonight. Follow your normal bed time routine and then put her to bed at her normal time. Every time she gets up, and she will, just put her back to bed. It is very important that you just do it and don't talk about it. It will be rough for a few nights but it will work. And no matter how much she cries or whines just remeber that you are doing this because you love her, you don't want her still sleeping in your bed when she is 20.

1 mom found this helpful

I, too have a 5 yr old daughter and she used to not have a problem with sleeping in her "princess room". Then all of a sudden, she became afraid of the dark(eventhough we have a nightlight)and she wouldn't want to sleep in her room anymore!

I think that children have "phases" that they go through and she was going through a phase. Patience is the best. I usually lay down on her floor wrapped in a blanket and sing or read to her to help her fall asleep. She is more relaxed if she knows that Mommy will be there until she falls asleep. I have no problem w/that....I enjoy watching her get sleepy and fall asleep(sometimes holding my hand). It's these memories that will be forever etched in my mind and hopefully hers as well.

Try lying down or sitting in a chair next to her bed to help her fall asleep...sometimes they just "need us" and if they know that we will be there until they fall asleep, it may help your daughter to rest easier. Don't yell, cry or get frustrated, they are still little, remember, they've only been on this earth for 5 years....their minds are developing and they still need Mommy!

Hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi. I will repeat - consistancy, a routine,and letting her know this is how it is. She is deffinately old enough to understand, and definately ask her why. I got pneumonia when I was four. After that I would not sleep in my bed. I was convinced that I would not be able to breath. I was not allowed to sleep in my parents bed, snuggling was fine. But what my mom said okay to until I was almost ten ( I personally made myself sleep in a bed at 10) I slept in the doorway on the floor, where I could view my parents bedroom door. THat was enough. As long as I could see there door, I desided that I would be okay. My brother eventually joined me and we had great times. Him in his doorway, and me in mine. And just think, my parents had just bought us each brand new beds. :) It is some type of fear reaction. My 2y son is going thru some of it, not wanting to stay in his crib, wnating to be around people. As long as I can show him it is dark outside, he goes back and sits(so he's not sleeping) and eventually falls asleep. In the am he cannot come to our room for snuggles before 7am...then its light and I've got nothing :) - wake up moma- wake up!!!
And Just think...it will pay off now: I had a friend growing up, we are talking highschool age, and she still would sleep in her parents bed at times...NO thankyou.

1 mom found this helpful

I am not sure if you have tried this or not but we have the same problem and its getting so much better. I was told by my peds doctor to put them to bed awake, set the rule they throw a tantrum we cant stay in the room if you are good and lay there then I will stay in the room until your asleep then you tell them to close their eyes and every time they open their eyes you remind them to close their eyes eventually they will fall asleep if they wake at night you do the same thing not giveing into them. and after a couple of nights sitting by the bed side you move to the door way and then to the hall and in a short time they will learn they must sleep in their bed and will do so. My daughter is on the door way stage and so far its working great!!! I hope this helps

1 mom found this helpful

I'm having the same problem with my 5 year old daughter! We also have a 3 year old daughter who climbs into our bed in the wee hours of the night. Even with a king size bed there is not enough room for the 4 of us. We put them back into their beds each time they slip into ours, but I must admit that some nights it is easier to just leave them in our bed and cuddle into their beds! I know that is not the way to get them to sleep through the night in their own beds, but at least we get a couple hours of rest! My husband is working out of town for the next 4 months, this has made it harder for me to bring my snuggle bugs back to their beds! I have heard a million times over that presistance is key, so I think I just have to suck it up and keep bringing them back to their beds! I will be excited to hear the responces to your request, thank you for letting me know that my 5 year old little one is not the only waker and bed taker!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi Darlene! I had the same problem with all of my kids. (I have a 23 year old son and 19 and 13 year old daughters.) I really don't have the way to get her to sleep in her own bed. I just gave up the fight and they slept with my husband and I, and eventually slept in their own beds. They are very healthy and stable children that have adapted to different situations very well. They also have stayed very close emotionally with me(in a healthy way)and are not afraid to talk with me about just about anything! I have found that we have to choose our battles. I have read the other responses about the Super Nanny responses, but I would rather have my kids well adjusted and able to feel comfortable to come into mom and dad's room. My husband and I had our intimate time also, not with the kids around, but we got very creative. It made it fun also.

1 mom found this helpful

"Lock her in". That is crazy advise! When my sister was young the pediatrician told my mom the same thing and I can tell you my sister is STILL upset about it to this day! She was petrified as a child. She is 33 today. Luckily I came along later and my mom had abandoned that theory.

I agree with people suggesting the Super Nanny method. Also, we also have a few props in our house for our 4 year old. We keep a can of "Monster-B-Gone" and "Sleepy Spray" at all times. Really they are bottles of air freshner. Tell your little one the trick is they only work when they are in bed. My daughter knows this and once we spray she stays in bed. It worked pretty quickly. She looks forward to it at night. We tuck her in, read, say a prayer asking God to send angels into her room and spray. She loves the angels and spray that protect her at night. Occasionally she still sneaks back in our room, but I usually don't even notice becuase she makes a palett on the floor next to my bed. Good luck! Please DO NOT lock your child in her room!

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