How Do I Get My 5 Month Old to Sleep in His Crib?

Aww, why not provide him with the comfort he is seeking, and save the hassle by having him just sleep with you in bed from the start? He's obviously wanting/needing the comfort of you next to him...I've learned it's much easier to adapt to sleeping with a baby in the bed, rather than fight with a baby to sleep alone.

And good grief...to whoever said this:

Stop breastfeeding in bed!!! Do it on a comfortable chair and keep him from falling asleep untill he has eaten enough!!! (Tickle the bottom of his feet)and then put him in the crib afterwards...If this does not work the you must supplement with bottle!!!It is very hard to suck out of the breast why don't you pump it out and give it to him in the bottle!!!( Or half and half) Or else he will be to tired to finish a whole meal!!! Love, Gabby. :0)

Yes, let's deny the baby comfort, warmth, and peace by shoving a bottle down his throat. Geez! I feel sorry for babies that are treated this way from very young...then we wonder why we have such detached parents/children. :-/ Yes, it's *harder* to suck out of the breast...it's designed that way. Breastfeeding helps to mature the jaw system in newborns, and creates a healthy bone structure. It's not torture, it's the way we're meant to do things. There's nothing wrong with a baby sleeping in bed with parents. They go from being in the womb, which provides warmth, comfort, peace, and the sound of mom's breathing and heart beating. And then some parents stick them in another room, or away from them, and expect them to sleep well. It's sad.

Christy

Hi B.!
Anyone who says crying for a full half-hour straight isn't "that long," not to mention tramatic and unnecessarily cruel, ought to try it!
My son is 7 months and I've found co-sleeping is the only way we both get enough sleep. He doesn't have to scream to get my attention when he's hungry- he doesn't even fully wake up anymore- and all I do is roll over, latch him on, and we both go back to sleep. He gets just a tiny bit fussy, I barely wake up myself, and just hook him up. He's to the point now that this only happens two to three times a night, and like I said, I barely even remember it. I wake much more rested then when I tried the crib. I've been assured by my pediatrician he will grow out of his desire for night feedings in time, and probably fairly soon. I don't understand "tough-love" with an infant. I can't let my baby cry-it-out, especially since this method has been connected to ongoing anxiety, insecurity and trust issues in children. Let's face it, he's only five months old, and this time to be close with your son won't last forever. Soon he'll want his independance and you'll be missing your baby. Giving these boys a loving, secure foundation is the most important duty we have.
Good Luck!
-H.

You could start practicing AP (attachment parenting) and co-sleeping (family bed). there are yahoogroup support groups online you can join in on the topics. My son was like that so I finally let him sleep with me and both of us got a lot more rest. Now he's 13 years old and we are very close like best friends. I think kicking kids to their own beds makes them insecure and sets up a foundation for distance in the future, like when they become adolesents. I wish I had practiced this with my oldest 3 boys, we'd have a better closer relationship today. (they are now 27-35)

Is there really a problem with him sleeping with you? I ask this because many people think there's a problem just because "society" or "experts" might say there is. But reality is that babies have been sleeping with their families and also nursing even well into toddlerhood for millennia. And around the world this is still normal. Babies don't know that western society considers this taboo! They just know that their minds and bodies do best when they feel safe with mommy and/or the other safe person, daddy! And many in western society are even going back to these age-old practices. Just because something is old doesn't mean we should "progress" away from it! :)

That said, you could also try (if you haven't already) switching to a pacifier after he has nursed a good while, and slipping it in his mouth while he is still laying next to you. This is good if your body gets a little irritated at the extended nursing sessions. It has always worked with my three kids, but sometimes it takes several sessions of trying, and some kids just know breast is best and won't take a pacifier because they know what they really want!

I recommend a website www.askdrsears.com for good advice and information on sleeping, nursing, feeding, health, etc. Basically all baby and child-related stuff. There's a bunch of great books, including my favorite The Baby Book, available. I also recommend a book called Good Nights, too.

Oh, and one more thing. Extended crying causes elevated levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, to be released into the bloodstream of your baby. This can actually impede sleep and other problems. I wouldn't recommend letting babies cry too long. Especially when they get to the frantic, panic alarm stage!

I know everyone has different opinions and experts don't even agree. I say mamas know in their gut what is ok for your family and you do what you need to do!

Bless you and good luck,
J. H

Hi B.,
The best advice I can give you is to buy the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. This book has a lot of great ideas on getting your child to sleep better. It sounds like he is using your breast as a way to help him fall back to sleep instead of learn to do it by himself. We all wake up during the night but usually go right back to sleep. This isn't something that just happens though. It is something we need to teach children. My mom always responded whenever I woke up as an infant and now I have a difficult time sleeping though the night. I started out co-sleeping with my daughter but noticed that my husband was the only one getting a decent nights sleep, so I moved my daughter into her own bed in her room at 2 1/2 months and she slept better. I also use chamois sheets from Pottery Barn with a mattress pad to keep her bed warm and soft. I also dress her in blanket sleepers and diaper doublers from Safeway because she wakes up if she gets cold or wet. Hope this helps.
Good luck,
L.

Is there really a reason he has to sleep in his crib? Every baby is different..I have a happy 5 year old who slept with me (nursing) for a over year and eventually ended up in her own bed, and a 16 month old who never wanted to fall asleep with me and has been in his crib since day one.
My advice to new moms is: go with the flow, get as much sleep as possible (no matter how you do it) and don't worry about what the books and society tells us...its all up to YOU how you raise your kids.
Co-sleeping should not be a controversial issue...if it makes mom and baby HAPPY, so be it.

Hello, I don't really understand why you don't want your son sleeping in your bed? He is still very young, only been out of the womb for 5 months. Co-sleeping has been working very well for me and my son. When he wakes up and wants to feed and needs his diaper changed I just do it right there, roll over and start nursing then we both fall right back asleep, it's great, I hardly even wake up, I feel super rested!

Also co-sleeping and attatchment parenting fosters more security and independance in later years. I can't imagine letting my son cry himself to sleep, it seems so cruel to not respond to his needs. They are babies, you can't spoil an infant, spoiling is something that happens when you leave something alone, not care for it.

I highly support you co-sleeping, you can even get those baby beds that attatch to the side of yours. Try not expect so much out of such a brand new life, he needs you, he wants to feel you near him, doesn't that feel good to you? These years don't last forever and you will never have them back, why rush it? Sleep with your baby and be rested... for heavens sake please don't let your baby cry himself to sleep, how traumatic that must be....I know that there is a philosophy here in America that we need to train our babies by not responding too them but that really seems to go against instinct, plus it makes them insecure. If your worried about what other people say, know that most of the world co-sleeps.

Get rest, and build stronger bonds by sleeping with your baby

Hi B.,
Check out "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It is the only non-cry-it-out sleep book out there for people who don't want to co-sleep (which we do, but it's not for everyone). There are studies linking "crying it out" methods to panic and anxiety disorders in adults and it really can be harmful to developing brains/trust. I know TONS of people still advocate it, and lots of children have turned out okay but I know I would never be able to let my child cry themselves to sleep. Anyway - the book is great and if my dd develops any sleep issues, it's the method I will turn to.
Good luck!!!!
A.

I have the same problem....until I gave him rice cereal! 2 tsp with 2 oz of breastmilk. Slept for 3 hour intervals after that. Before that he was waking up every hour so I would just bring him into my bed and he would use my breast as a pacifier. if you don't want to do the cereal, try waking him up after he eats for the one or two minutes. I know it's hard to wake a sleeping baby but try burping him, putting him on the floor, taking off his clothes, changing his diaper etc. He wakes up cuz he's not full cuz he falls asleep after a minute or two of eating. I had the same exact problem. Also try feeding him earlier than right before bedtime. Maybe an hour before and then play with him, read to him, sing, dance, massage, bathe whatever your routine is and put him in his crib a little dozey. That worked for me a few times but not every time. Good luck

hi,
when you get some good advise, please share! our son is 13 months old and having your same problem. :)

Hello B.,

I read the responses before writing to make sure I have something new to say. My instinct is that he's having a growth spurt or maybe that he's teething (you would also notice lots of drooling during the day). Rice cereal before bed is great advice, are you trying that? Just make sure it's iron-free, because the iron cereals will constipate him. I also experienced feeling like a human pacifier which is really unpleasant. Feeding him as much as possible during the day is the best way to counteract that nighttime habit.

I know it's hard to be the parent you want to be at night when you're tired. You can hang on! You can do it! If you bring him into your bed sometime in the early morning, that's totally fine. I think babies really need that closeness, that sense of someone always there. Don't worry about independence. I have two boys that co-slept with us and they are almost too independent. What we should be worried about, as we mother an infant, is assuring the child that when he cries, he will get a response. If you don't respond to him then he learns that it doesn't matter if he cries, his needs will not be filled. That is the starting point for a mess of emotional baggage. If he's crying it's because he needs you. It doesn't last forever I promise! The first year is the hardest and then it gets better after that. If you don't tune into your instincts, which obviously are telling you to pick him up when he cries, then you loose your chance to have a beautiful two-way relationship with your son.

My thoughts are with you!
G.

I am not a fan of the Ferber method either! Mostly because the crying kills me and makes me leak which makes me mad. I don't co-sleep with him anymore because I can't sleep with him. He kicks, tosses, and turns all night long! Then I wake up with him sleeping across my face - never daddy's! That being said, we had to train our baby to sleep in his crib. Every night (and day) before he goes to sleep I nurse and sing to him. Just before he falls asleep (my baby gets noisy right before he falls asleep by "singing" to me) I take him from my breast and put him in his crib. I used to use the pacifier (he likes the Avent ones). I would warm it up in my hand then pop him off me and onto the pacifier. Then I'd lay him down he'd wake up and cry. We'd repeat. Eventually a thousand times turned to a hundred, and now he'll usually stay asleep if I cover him with a blanket. I don't even use the pacifier to keep him asleep any more. Although, he does use it throughout the day. He also sucks his thumb. He's part catfish I think with all the sucking! The whole thing takes patience and perseverance - on your part. Think about it from baby's point of view, would you really want to sleep by yourself or would you rather have a nice warm mommy with your own built in sippy cup that always gives you your favorite beverage/meal at the perfect temperature? Good luck and remember he'll only be nursing for a short time!

HI B.,
Your little one could be cutting a tooth, having gas, or ear infection (only nurses for minutes-sucking could be painful). I don't know obviously but I just think there could be an underlying cause interupting sleep. Good luck. Remember the infant stage doesn't last long and enjoy your cuddles.

If I were in your shoes (and I may be very soon, as we will be moving our 8 month old to her crib in the next few weeks), I would try to eliminate one nursing session a night by having daddy/partner go in and comfort her. Who knows how this will work, but it's worth a try before trying CIO. I would think that dad will have to hightail it in to the babe's bedroom ASAP so that baby doesn't wake up all the way and will be more likely to fall right back to sleep...

Give him Rice Cereal prior to going to bed with a small milk/formula feeding.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
J.

Hi,

I have a 17-month old and I am one of those people that if I get no sleep I go really crazy, so I had to figure out a good system. I did not like the Ferber method too much because, like many moms, could not stand the idea of letting my baby cry for long.

I did a book called BABYWISE, which in a nutshell requires you to have the baby on a predictable schedule during the day (but that's not the only thing, so if you are interested you really need to read the book).
I started the book when my baby was 2 months, and within 1 month she slept for 7 hours straight and has been getting the suggested amount of sleep since (now she goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up at 7am, and she has been sleeping through the night since).

One concern I have heard about this method - I heard this after it worked for me so I was not aware of it at the beginning - is that the baby might not get enough food because they sleep through the night so early on. But this did not happen to my baby because part of the book tells you to get in "full feedings" instead of a lot of little "snacking" periods for the baby.

At this point, because I do have some friends who tried other methods or no methods at all, I am a total believer in this system. My friends ALL have problems with their babies sleeping, some of them are even 2 years old. And to think that I have had no problems since she was 3 months, that's a big step for me and my sanity!

Oh yeah, and I did try to get my baby to sleep with me in my bed (I love it as you can imagine), but she can lay there or play, but then she makes it clear that she wants to go to her crib to sleep. And when it's her nap time and we are playing in her room, she literally holds on to her crib and tells me "night night" as she knows that's her time for sleep.
Sorry I went on a little long, this system worked for me really well.
Good luck!

A breastfed baby sleeping all night??? Well, I have successfully nursed one of my children...my now 2 year old son...Thankfully his pacifier mommy days didn't last to long, but what I did was nurse til he was asleep, and then everytime put him back in his bed...he had a small bed in my room for a long time. Also what I did was swaddle him in my fluffy bathrobe. He still isn't sleeping all night, but I can rock him back to sleep (most of the time). I guess just try putting him back in his bed everytime and eventually he'll catch on.

I must say that nursing a baby is the hardest thing I have ever done...to stick with it, sore breasts and all. Also, consider with future children to put them to bed at night with a bottle, either breastmilk or formula...oops! that "f" word. But it will allow you and hubby to have a night out...My daughter, now 3, weaned herself at 3 months...just way to much going on around that she was missing out on. These are just my thoughts and expierence, so I hope it helps...

Stop breastfeeding in bed!!! Do it on a comfortable chair and keep him from falling asleep untill he has eaten enough!!! (Tickle the bottom of his feet)and then put him in the crib afterwards...If this does not work the you must supplement with bottle!!!It is very hard to suck out of the breast why don't you pump it out and give it to him in the bottle!!!( Or half and half) Or else he will be to tired to finish a whole meal!!! Love, G.. :0)

Hi B.!

I can sympathize with you and remember going through this myself. Letting the baby cry was not something that I was comfortable doing either. Then at a well baby check my trusted pedi doc gave us some advice. He said that if we did not train our son to put himself to sleep and be able to get himself back to sleep then we would all be miserable. It was hard to do but at nearly a year old we put him to bed and let him cry. It was a rough couple of nights but we now have a toddler that can be put to bed and sleep soundly through the night. I was killing myself having to work and be up and down all night long. It mught not be the very best thing to do but it worked for us and we are all better off for it. Good luck and know that you arent damaging your child as previously posted. I have friends that are professors of psychology and they have said that there is no harm in sleep training this way.

get a bed rail and leave him in bed with you. i have four grown sons, all of whom slept with me until they were about 2 (believe me, you'll know when it's time for a big boy bed!)...and they have all survived quite nicely. it's also an incentive for you to keep on nursing, which makes for a kid with great teeth (if you're eating well) and better immunities.
don't sweat it. one day he'll be in college and you'll fondly remember that he was a little bitty kid next to you once. this doesn't last forever. enjoy!

Hang in there, sleeping troubles are so exhausting but they will get better! There is a growth spurt around this age that disrupted my son's sleeping (he's now 14 months old). It did pass if you can wait it out. I also introduced a pacifier around this time for a similar reason. He would cry but then go back to sleep sucking if he wasn't really hungry and just needed comforting. Although we've tried sleep association using the no-cry sleep solutions book (gradually helping the baby get used to going to sleep on their own in their crib) and the crying it out method but my son would have none of it. He actually wouldn't go to sleep when we tried the cry it out method for over 1 hr. In the end I just kept my son in my bed. It is a bit uncomfortable and I don't know how we'll get him out (until he makes that choice) but he sleeps so much better there. Best of luck!

A lot of people hate the Ferber Method, I'll just start with that.I can see the merrets of such an opinion, however the one piont he made in his sleep book (the one that I read)that struck me the closest was the pillow refernece. He asked you as an adult, what if you woke up in the middle of the night and your pillow was gone? You might toss and turn and not really fall back asleep until you found it.You are your son's pillow. Kids who wake up in the middle of the night will search for the same way they fell asleep in the first place. I suggest you nurse until he's ALMOST asleep and put him to bed in his crib allowing him to soothe himself to sleep. When he wakes up at night after this he will expect to do the same. It does not happen overnight but results come quickly. Remember, it is ok for your baby to cry a little sometimes. I wish you sleep,
mom of three...

Someone told me it takes 3 days to break babies of habits so maybe on a 3 day weekend you can allow him to cry a bit longer to see if he can teach himself to settle down. I have two children myself and the second time around I would notlet my baby boy fall asleep fully before he stopped nursing to then went to lay him down and allow himself to fall asleep on his own. With my daughter and the first time around I never let her cry and we had sleep issues until around 3 when I couldn't take it anymore and was pregnant with my second!! Your smart in not letting this get any worse. For your own sanity!
Sounds like your a great Momma!! Good luck!
M.

One thing I can hink of is that around 6 months is prime growh spurt time which usually results in increased nursing. Also, have you recently returned to work at all? Perhaps he is reverse cycling. http://www.workandpump.com has some good info on how to cope wih this.

The other thing that can cause frequent waking is teething...perhaps giving some Hyland's eething tablets before his "last" nursing of he evening might help.

Hang in there.

i also have a 5 month old son and i'm breast feeding. try putting him to sleep in his crib for naps. then what i do is while i am feeding him i put a blanket over his head and body. that way when i lay him down he is still warm. he does not get that cold shock of the sheet. then when he wakes up he grabs the blanket and uses that to sooth himself back to sleep; he sucks on it. it is like his pacifier.
anyway you might want to try it, it worked for me!!

I also have a 5 month old baby boy who has the same sleep issues. I read the "No Cry Sleep Solution," and it has some valid advice to consider. For the last week, we started putting him to bed in his crib. One of us sleeps in his room so that we can be there to soothe him or feed him when he wakes up. He still gets up 2 or 3 times during the night for feedings, but he barely cries, since we are there so quickly. If he wakes up after 6am and is fussy, I cuddle up with him in his room and we both go back to sleep. The point of this is to help him feel secure in his room so that he doesn't freak out when he wakes up in his crib. We are going to transition to leaving him alone after we first put him to bed, and eventually the whole night. We just want it to be stress free and without prolonged crying. This method is working for us for now, but we plan to discuss it with his pediatrician at his 6 month visit. I don't know if it is the best or most efficient way to get him to sleep independently, but it feels right for us. Good luck.

Hi. It sounds like your baby just wants to be with you, especially at night. I am mom to an 8 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. When they were babies, I found it easiest to just sleep with them. I got LOTS of sleep that way. When they got hungry/scared I would half wake up, latch him/her on and fall back asleep. We all were very happy that way.
Your baby's crying is his only way of communicating at this point, since he's only 5 months old. It sounds like he's saying "I'm lonely and I want to be with my mommy" ignoring babies cries and letting them "cry it out" teaches them that they can't depend on the adults in their lives, which I'm sure you don't want to do.
If sleeping in the same bed doesn't work for you, maybe one of those co-sleepers that attach to the side of your bed will. That way, the baby has his own space but he is only an arm's length away so you don't have to get up to reach him.
Good luck to you!

At five months of age, needing to nurse a night for comfort is a reasonable expectation. If you are actually sleeping when your baby is in your bed with you, then you may want to consider just simply practicing the family bed for a while. When your baby is older and not nursing a lot at night, you can work on a gentle transition into his own bed. The book "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabath Pantley is very good. It helps parnts find a balance between meeting the night-time needs of their child and finding a workable solution so that the whole family can sleep sounly. Personally, I think that when you're talking about so young of a baby, that as the adult you'll need to just realise that you may not get as much sleep for a while. Eventually babies start to sleep longer stretches and you won't be a human pacifier forever. I've got three kids and I was a human pacifier at night for the entire night with my first, for a good portion of the night with my second and not much at all with my third. We are just now in the process of transitioning my middle child out of the bed and Elizabeth Pantley's book was really helpful. The one I have is for older childern (preschoolers/toddlers) but I believe that she has one for parents who feel a need to work on sleep issues with infants. Good luck. I know what it's like to be a human pacifier. I was blessed to be able to fall back asleep while they were still nursing and having my babies in bed with me from the moment they were born has just been the best way to meet their need for closeness & comfort w/o being up & down like a jack in the box all night.

My son slept with me every night until he was 6 years old. My own fault, bringing to bed once or twice, and it is their preference, of course! He would wake up 5 and 6 times every night if I made him stay in his crib, I was just too tired to go through the fight. Had I known at the time it would end up being 6 years - I would have expended the energy to make him sleep in his own bed. Crying won't hurt, it may take a few nights of this, but in the end, you will be glad you toughed it out! Good luck!
M. P

What worked for me was i folded a balnket or even used a baby blanket on there crib matress then put there crib sheet over that blanket so the mattress did not make the noise or they felt the comfyness of the blanket and it felt like a matress not a crib matress if they wet the blanket oh well at least i got to sleep and the baby was in the crib and i washed it along with the sheets what i also did was bought the mattress cover that look like egg carrier and put that under the sheet i had 5 kids and every one was different believe me it works good luckkkkk

I have a five month old son, too-and used to have a hard time getting him to sleep in general. I wasn't a big fan of the Ferber method either, but I finally had to break down and try it. It's REALLY HARD at first, and it took over 1/2 hour for us the first couple of times, too. But now it's much faster (usually 5-10 minutes at the most and it's only been a week) and we have much more sanity. I haven't let him cry it out in the middle of the night yet though, I'm like you-I usually feed him. But only when he actually seems hungry. Sometimes he calms down if I just rub his belly and talk to him for a little bit. Sorry I don't have better advice-just wanted to relate and let you know you're not alone really.

You can definitely try putting him in his crib and letting him cry for a bit for at least a few night to see if he eventually will learn to soothe himself and put himself back to sleep. We also debated whether or not to let our daughter sleep with us but we actually ALL slept better when we she slept in her crib, and my husband and I slept in our bed. When she was in her crib, if she woke up, she'd go back to sleep by herself. When she was in our bed (which we occasionally do when she is sick), she sees us and wants to play. She doesn't get nearly as much sleep as when she is by herserlf in her room. When we were trying to "sleep train" her, we had a ritual we would do EVERY night. Warm milk, music, sleep sack, rocking chair, and then lay down in the crib. We still do this every night. We would let her cry for 5-10 minutes, and then go in and try to soothe her without taking her out of the crib. Sometimes, we would stay by the side of her crib until she fell asleep on her own. I think there's no right answer here, but you just try different things, and eventually something works for you. Good luck! :)

Dear B.,

I don't know what the Ferber method is so I can't comment.

I do know that you need your rest and so does the baby. Crying 30 minutes really isn't a long time to cry. He will be fine, just be sure that you listen so that if he gets in difficulty that you can go in there and fix him up. But, please, do not pick him up. He will finally fall asleep, and if he does wake up and cry again, then let him cry. Do not pass go and do not collect $100, let him cry. He will learn a very good lesson. Yes, even at 5 months old. Babies are very smart. The lesson will be that he cannot even make a try at ruling you, it won't work. You can just show all of the love for him in the a.m. when you are both rested.

It could take as much as 2 weeks, but probably less, and if you do not do it, you will do one heck of a lot of suffering and anguish because he will get stronger and stronger and more and more demanding. You do not want an infant running your life. You do want him to grow up to be a fine understanding kind and loving man, though.

Read a book called 'Real Boys'. It is a great book about raising boy - real ones - that make good husbands and fathers. You can find it at the library or on EBay.

Sincerely, C. N.