How Do I Gain Weight? Help!

I am no medical expert, but I do suffer from depression as we speak and I am taking medication for it, which really helps.

A long time ago, I had problems with gaining weight after the birth of my second child. It was definitely stress-related. You see, at the same time, my husband was being treated for cancer with a 40 percent chance of living. (He lived.) But I was and I was caring for two young ones in diapers and a very sick man full-time, with no time to breath. Even after we were in the clear, my routine didn't really slow down. I look back now and believe that it was post-traumatic stress disorder, but they didn't have a name for it back then. I have experienced this phenomenon two more times since then, once recently.

Anyway, I was already a slim person, but when the cancer went into remission, people began to comment on how much weight I had lost and how unhealthy I looked. It wasn't the normal, "I'm jealous because you're thin and I'm not." So, I tried to eat more, but I couldn't seem to gain it back. Just eating larger portions wasn't doing it.

Then I went to a doctor that specialized in preventative medicine. He did every test he knew to do and found absolutely nothing wrong. He finally called me (on a Saturday, which I thought was very kind) to tell me that he thought everything was due to added stress in the past few months. He talked to me about certain things I could do to gain weight and lower my stress levels:

The main thing that concerned him is that he found out that I ate standing up and never finished a meal without multiple interruptions. I rarely did anything for myself anymore. The doctor told me to eat while my small children were napping or playing with each other to minimize interruptions. He ordered me to slow down and enjoy my meal, sitting down the entire time whenever possible, and telling others they can wait as long as it wasn't an emergency.

He told me it wasn't a sin to set aside a small portion of each day to do something quiet that I really enjoy, something that relaxes me, especially right after eating. (Things like writing, reading, creating photo albums, crafts, sun and a magazine, or even sleep).

His next prescription was enjoyable kinds of exercise, which would rebuild and tone my muscles. Muscle weighs more than fat. Exercise would calm the mind and help put a smile on the face.

As for eating, he recommended against specialty diets... that most of them are more harmful than helpful. I was instructed to eat many well-rounded smaller meals throughout the day, drink lots of water, shop the outside of the aisles for fresh whole foods and try to avoid the processed foods found in the aisles of the grocery store, include the four food groups each day, avoid fatty/junk foods simply to gain weight, stay away from caffeine and excessive amounts of sugar, and take daily multi-vitamins to supplement and avoid insufficiencies.

Finally, he encouraged me not to lose myself in my daily responsibilities. So, what if the towels don't get folded today or the dishes don't get washed right away? I had to do them eventually, but I had to stop worrying and being anxious about details and keep the bigger picture in mind! He made it very clear that I am just as important as my family is. If I did not care for myself, I would be no good for anyone.

2 moms found this helpful

First of all, do you eat anything after 6:00p. and you said "that you eat right...but do you eat in between [meaning, like snacks (for example, chips, crackers, kids snacks...even some candy)] the snacking REALLY needs to be as we all should know Fruit, mummy health bars, good trail mixes. and water with some little flavoring (like lemon.etc...) Let me know how that works. do that for three weeks.

I have a similar problem, and found that weight-bearing exercise helped me to put on muscle without adding fat. Eating healthy also helps, especially increasing healthy proteins to aid in muscle building. Good luck!

I had the same problem and doing great after I started using herbalife products.It is based on soy protein and herbs. You also need to pay attention that you eat nutritious meals. If you want more information send me an e-mail.I feel great and have lot more energy and stamina.I have gained weight in right places.(I do free wellness evaluations) A.
____@____.com

Hey! I've been there too. I was 98 lb. when I got pregnant, had some trouble gaining while pregnant and then while nursing I suddenly shot down to quite a bit below my pre-pregnancy weight. I had to gain weight pretty quickly so that my doctor wouldn't recommend that I quit nursing. So, I switched to real mayo and put it on everything. I also mixed the mayo with avacados and salsa and dipped everything into that. I usually had about one carnation instant breakfast a day as a snack, not a meal replacement. It totally did the trick. I gained 8 lb. in one month and may have even broken 100 by now! But I agree with a lot of the previous comments. Check your thyroid. I did...just in case. Also, some people are just small and if you're healthy and small that's probably just how God made you!

I have my son using the high calorie shakes available at Hi Health. He's 6'2" and 155. He swims 25 hours a week so he needs LOTS of calories and he's not a big eater.

It's hard to gain. I seem to have no trouble but when your trying to help someone gain you appreciate that it is just as hard as losing!

T. C.
www.spaescapescottsdale.com

Your lack of exercise is really hurting you. If you don't exercise, your body does not work efficiently. In your case, you probably have very little muscle, and you probably have very little appetite, too. And don't be fooled that you "aren't fat"; you may have stores up unhealthy fat around all of your internal organs.

You can never go wrong starting an exercise that involves your whole body. (Walking, yoga, belly-dance, horsebackriding and especially swimming.) Your body will digest and utilize your food better, and you will look a lot better, too.

nuts are a healthy way to gain weight, they have healthy fats and are good for your brain, your skin, your hair, your nails...
instead of going to junk food, which will dull your skin, make it break out and give you diseases, do healthy snack and increase portions of healthy eating. have a double helping, cook healthy pasta or chicken in cream-based sauces, for example. do it right and you'll achieve your goal AND GLOW!

My daughter has the same problem.... The problem is to gain it health. No ice cream etc. start using whole milk and non fat items. More fruit and boost is good. Basically if you are on non fat go to low fat if on low fat go to whole fat. Pasta and rice are good. gradually add more to your plate until you gain then gradually decrease when you get to your target weight until you maintain.
best of luck
kat

V. ~

Sorry, I don't have any advice for you. I just have to say: I would LOVE to have your problem!!!

Hi. Im sorry i have no answers for u either . I am also petite i am 26 maybe 5feet and weigh 90 pounds . Now that is the most i can gain . I just wanted to know if u got any good answers if u could let me know . Seen all the lose weight products and mags but nothing on gaining . Im right there with ya .

Good luck
thank you
B.

Your body frame will not let you gain but so much weight. It is better to be petite and healthy than not. Some weight gainers have huge side effects.

When I was younger my parents and doctor put me on weight gain and nothing happened. My body type did not pick up weight until after I had kids. B happy lok at Jada Pinkett Smith she's petite and cute as a button.

Sorry if this is a repeat but I didnt have to time to read the 28 responses. I would like to suggest a yummy way to gain your weight. Try shakes. Good ole fashion milk shakes. Add in fresh bananas to it. (You can do chocolate, strawberry, vanilla ice cream). This was how I got my son to gain weight when he was little as he was so skinny. Try snacking on fresh bananas as well. I can tell you there are sites out on the web you can google weight gain and find a ton of recipes as well.

But as everyone will probably tell you with weight gain, you much exercise! It will also boost your mood when you exercise. If ever watched Legally Blond, she states in the court room that people who work out are happy. This really is a fact.

I wish you the best!

Oh girl, if you find the solution, please fill me in. I also have a problem gaining wieght and also lost mine from anxiety/depression. Now my Dr did tell me to work out, build muscle and eat good foods etc...So I am doing some exercise to build my legs, and will start with my arms soon. My problem also is my belly when i do gain. Anyway, please let me know if you come up with a solution. :)

Hi V.,
You're right, I wish I had that problem! However, I do understand how frustrating it can be when you don't feel or look your best. I would suggest going to a health food store like "High Health" and get a protien supplement shake product. They are high in calories and help build muscle. Body builders use them to bulk-up but they are working off the calories...you said you don't exercise so you will keep most of the calories. Add them to your diet don't eat any less. The only way to gain weight is to take in more calories than you burn off! So you need to find healthy ways to add more calories to your daily menu. Good luck!

You might try drinking a banana milkshake every day for a while, but even then that might do the trick if you have a very active metabolism. Also exercise can help tone up the muscles and that will give you some weight as well. If all else fails, see you doctor!

If you haven't already you should look into your thyroid function with a physician. They will also rule out anything else "major" that could be the reason of unwanted weight loss. Once you have the answer to that you can either regulate your overly active thyroid or you can get yourself to an alternative practitioner to support your digestion and assimilation. Try to cut out caffeine and alcohol and frequent sweets too if they are a part of your life.
Good luck!
C. A

My neighbor has the same problem and she found out a few years ago that she has diabetes. I don't know if that could be your problem also, but it's worth getting checked out. Some people that have diabetes have the opposite problem, but others experience what you have. Good luck!

I would suggest lifting weights to gain muscle tone, which is more dense than fat. And eating high calorie snacks like nuts and cheese. I use the FIRM videos and they are great... they make sure you are doing the movements properly and you only need a good dumbbell set. Also... try reading Men's Fitness... they have excellent ideas about gaining weight.. since usually it is the men who want to do this rather than us women!

I am in the same boat...i found that drinking ensure helped add the extra needed weight and and upping my protien such as peanut butter and things of that nature...i was 86lbs 6 month ago and i am now 102...I will keep you posted as of what has been working.

Exercise actually helped me gain weight and muscle, and being healthy was my biggest goal overall. My excessive weight loss due to nursing was unhealthy and I wanted my health back. I started feeling deprived of nutrients and it affected my emotional well-being. Looks were secondary--I did miss my curves and got tired of people telling me how horrible and skinny I looked--but being healthy should be the primary focus in my opinion. So exercise, but be careful not to overdo the aerobic exercise, and focus instead on weight resistant, muscle-building exercise. That really has helped me gain some weight in a healthy way and I feel like I look great now. You'll want to eat a lot of protein to aid you in building muscle: nuts, meat, beans, tofu, dairy. Eat high caloric food, but try to eat healthy as well, like Oatmeal with cream and sugar (maybe even nuts and raisins) on it as opposed to a candybar. Being healthy affects you physically, mentally, and emotionally, so please don't sacrifice your health just to gain weight. A doctor or trainer should be able to better help and educate you in this area.

Hi V.,
If you go to GNC on Reems and Grand ave (in surprise) tell them your problem and they might suggest a "weight gainer formula" or "protein supplements" and this will help you gain muscle, instead of fat. The key is to start a healthy workout and "bulk up". Body builders have a tendency to use them. Be aware that they give you gas!:)
Good Luck
K.

If you want to gain weight but in the right areas and you want to do it healthy you are going to have to exercise. Not talking about aerobics (although it is good for a healthy heart), but you may want to do weight training with weights. This way you will gain healthy pounds and tone your body in all the right places. Yes weight training will allow you to gain weight, your muscle fibers with thicken and well it will weigh more and make you curvier. Plus the benefits of health and wellness. I lose weight when I get stressed. I have been there with marriage stress I know what you mean about loosing because of it. I am 5'7" and when I stressed out from marriage problems I weighed 107 pounds. 107 might not sound all that light for someone 5'3" but 126 - 140 is a healthy good weight for a female who is 5'7", just to give you and idea. I went from a size 6 to size 0 and the 0 was big on me. I know how unpretty being too skinny can feel and I also know how great weight lifting can be. I am not a tight hard body at all (at all!). Don't worry lifting weights is not going to make you look like a power lifter unless you strive for that. I use light free weights and do long slow reps for each weight exercise that I do sets of. Plus weight lifting is a fun way of relieving stress and increasing endorphins. Hope this helps give you one option to consider.

Have you ever heard of Herbalife? It is a great nutritional program that can assist with weight loss and weight gain and just overall good health. Some people have a problem with absorbing the nutrients they take in, so basically their food goes right through them and is not stored at all by the body or used. Herbalife has great products to help you absorb those nutrients and gain the weight, but most importantly, benefit from the foods you are eating. Just visit herbalife.com for more info or if you would like, send me a message and I can give you the phone number of a friend of mine that knows all about it. Good luck!

I have the same problem!! I think I have digestive issues. I went to a chiropracter who reads eyes and he said that my digestive system is weak. I don't think I am absorbing adequate nutrients. Right now I am pregnant and feel healthy. But I am eating a lot of fruits and veggies and juicing occasionally (I should do more). He also gave me what is called "the green drink". I has a lot of ruffage and is basically a lot of nutritious stuff blended together. My sinus problems that I have had for a year went away when I started driking this, so I do believe in it. Let me know if you want the recipe. It is very good for digestive help!

I have the same problem. My mom even put me on a diet when I was little, and in two months I gained half a pound. Then, after I had kids, I started exercising, and I took a lot of protein meals. This will make you gain muscle, because you really don't want to gain unhealthy weight. I do recommend you exercise and follow a healthy diet, focusing on protein.But a doctor would be a better adviser.

Hi V.,

I've had the same problem! 15 years ago I got divorced and shed 15 pounds with the snap of my fingers. A huge weight was lifted off me, both figuratively and literally, and I’ve never been able to gain it back. Anyway, based on your description, I don't believe you are too small for your height. But, I would have to see you to determine that.

In any case I am a Health & Nutrition Consultant and can help you with this if it truly is an issue. You really should be exercising, though. If anything, you will GAIN weight by adding muscle mass.

Again, please feel free to call me at ###-###-#### if you want more info on how I can help you.

Warm Regards,
G. Van Luven

Someone who will be helpful is Dr Penny Edwards. She helps with nutrition as well as exercise. Her # is ###-###-#### and is great!