How Did You Meet Your Spouse?

We met online. I had been single for quite some time and leading a very unhealthy lifestyle on so many levels. 2 days prior to meeting her (she's on here as well) I had decided that I needed to change my ways before something bad happened to me. I wasn't into drugs or drinking just a morally inappropriate lifestyle. As I was closing my online accounts I got a message from her and I responded.. that was almost 5 yrs ago and to this day it is the most perfect relationship either of us have ever been in.

in a bar.
what?
he asked me out the first time we met, but i danced around it for a while. hung out with him and his best friend as 'just buddies' for a few months before we went on an official date.
we've been together 30 years.
:) khairete
S.

Blind date! When he called me to set it up, we chatted for a while. I hung up and said this is the man i am going to marry. I was right!!

My husband and I met at work. I was a single mom and he was a single dad. His daughter and my son were the same age when we met (almost 3). After working together for about 6 months I was not at all interested in him and he had a sketchy female roommate situation and was flirting with one of my coworkers so he wasn't interested in me but we started to get our kids together on weekends for outings every now and again. After another 6 months (when he was living on his own and not into my colleague), we started dating. It just kind of hit from out of the blue. We took it slowly and dated for a year, then were engaged for a year before our wedding.

Did it work out? Yes and no. We have two more children together and have been married for almost 10 years, but it's been a very, very difficult marriage. A lot of women in my shoes would have ended it a long time ago but I'm not at that point yet. Our issues are many. At the end of the day, we are wildly incompatible and our differences don't complement each other and round us out, they just stress us out. If I were to try to boil it down to the most basic issues, it's that while we were dating, he pretended to be someone who he wanted to be but really isn't. He wanted to want to be a husband, wanted to want a house in the suburbs and spend weekends in the yard etc. But at the end of the day, this whole construct is stifling and unsatisfying to him. It's not really what he wants or needs but didn't have the courage to tell me that before we were married with a house and a kid on the way, so he's miserable to the core. He also has major mental health issues that he masked very well for the first few years we were together - more out of denial than malice but still, there are things that he should have told me before I signed up for this.

Looking back I honestly don't know how we chose so poorly. We were both very wary of getting into a relationship because we wanted to spare our kids the upheaval of having something not work out. Everything really seemed to click and at least I thought I had chosen a husband - and a father to my son - well. Turns out I thought wrong. It's alarming. I do know that if we ever divorce, I have no guarantee that I wouldn't pick someone terribly wrong again because there was no smoking gun in choosing him, no "aha" moment when I look back and say "that was the sign that I should have run."

I worked in a bookstore. We decided to unionize for just wages and working conditions. He was a staff researcher/organizer with the union. The rest is a little piece of (romantic) labor history. ;)

We have the most wonderful little boy either of us could have imagined. Celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary last fall.

We were celebrating my grandmother's 75th birthday at a dinner theater with my family. My grandmother noticed that one of the very cute waiters was checking me out. She told me to drop my napkin when he walked by next and I laughed and said 'no way.' She then bought me a Mai Tai and sure enough, I found myself elbowing my napkin off the table the next time he walked by.

20 years later, the rest is history. Very happy. I knew right away he was 'the one.'

ETA: It's worked out because we're best friends and share many of the same interests. We're aligned spiritually, morally and politically, too, although politics was the last thing on our mind when we met. So we kind of grew into that one together. But we truly enjoy being around one another and I honestly know that we'll be together until the end.

I was a senior in high school and the stat manager for the varsity football team.
He was a freshman and he was the guy who videoed the games so they team could review them afterward.
He was sweet and shy and lent me his gloves when my hands got cold.
It was awhile before we started dating.
We went to different colleges, and got jobs before we married.
We courted 9 years - we had a lot of growing up to do seeing as we were 17 and 14 when we first met.
We celebrate our 24th anniversary this summer.

I was working a at a retail store that he went into often, after about a year or so he started working there himself. He and I were friends before he started working there but I was dating someone else. We became closer friends after he began working there and I broke up with the other guy. We started dating not that long after. We're going to be celebrating our 18 year wedding anniversary this year and we've been together as a couple (our first kiss) for almost 21 years.
Our marriage is extremely successful!! We were great friends before becoming romantically involved. We have so much in common, and those things that we don't have in common we accept in each other. We don't try to change each other to be someone we want instead of who we are. The exception being I made my husband learn to close the blasted kitchen cabinets when he's done and he had to get over his "ick factor" of trash cans and such and just get it taken care of LOL
He is still my very best friend!!

The first time out, when I was 18 and newly in college, I married a man who was as strict and controlling as my mother. It was what I knew, so it was what I attracted. It lasted 13 years to final separation, 15 years to final divorce. I took the time to know that was what I needed. The one truly wonderful outcome of that marriage was our daughter.

I was surprised after only two years on our own (dotter&mum), after casually dating a couple of men but not really wanting to get entangled, when I met a youngish, single man who wrote science/math activity books for kids, and who was looking for an illustrator. I was doing freelance art and graphics at the time.

The connection was instant and deep for both of us, and I didn't want it to be. But he was so gentle, and smart, and honest, and reasonable, and responsible, and generous, and humorous in the same geeky way I am… and he always smelled so good (without cologne), with a deep, beautiful voice…, who in the world can resist all that?

We were married by the end of our first year. It was difficult with my 12yo daughter, struggling with confused loyalty for her father (who was generally not kind to her) and her stepfather (who was everything she wished her father could be). While we were learning to live together, some power struggles ensued, possibly would have occurred between me and my daughter on our own. Sometimes it was really confounding and painful for all of us, but determination and love got us through it.

But my new husband (31-year anniversary this month) is a brave and large and patient soul, and he persisted. My daughter learned what a great guy he is when she moved away to college – she could actually recognize and accept all that he had tried to offer her. They love each other now. My spouse and I still work as a team, most agreeably, creating new books, and we're still deeply in love. (And hoping for at least another 30 years together).

If in doubt, a few sessions of couples counseling has been helpful for a couple of couples I've known. It can help you discover where the "future issues" lay, and address them while they're small. Best!

I was driving home after a night out w/my BFF I was 18, had just graduated HS (has broken up w/my HS sweetheart) and pulled up at a red light at on our busy main street alongside a carload of guys and it was summer time so we started chatting. Next thing I knew, we had pulled up alongside my house and hung out for a while, my friend exchanged #'s w/the one guy & we ended up going to a party about a week later. I couldn't stand my husband at first, he was going in the army & was sooooo cocky, but after meeting him a few times, he turned out to be a really great guy. As it turns out, we've been together almost 25 yrs, married for almost 20 & have 2 beautiful girls. I never really believed in destiny before, but I am now a true believer!

Hubby and I were both participants in an old newsgroup from 1995-1999. In 1998, we started exchanging email. I had a trip planned to Ireland, and he was in London. I did a 1 night stop over in London, and it was clear to both of us that this was it. A week later I went back to London and we went off for a long weekend in Paris. I knew he was the one long before we ever met in person. We spoke the same language, and he challenged me. He is also the smartest person I know, and I was in academia! Did I also mention that he was a total gentleman, and even asked if he could hold my hand?

After a few trips back and forth, we got married at the court house a year later. If we didn't do it this way, I doubt we would have ended up together. There were lots of fear issues in both of us. The first few years were super hard, but he has always been my best decision. our marriage is a success because we both approach it as a decision. We put in a lot of work, and made the commitment to each other to keep on putting in the work.

I met my husband online. After 3 years of dating and having 1 child together, we decided to get married. We married on July 21 2012

I knew he was the one when I caught him and our son (back when our son was a newborn) cuddled up fast asleep on the couch... And when he played our son a song on the guitar that he had written (And when he sang along in his crackily voice), that just solidified it :)

I met my husband in high school. We attended college in separate states, but managed the long distance relationship. We lived together for a year after college to make sure it was going to work. We got married after 8 years of dating and a 2.5 year engagement. We've been married almost 12 years.

I feel we grew up together (we met when I was 15 and he was 17). We had similar goals and dreams. We grew up with similar backgrounds. Most of our friends who have divorced did so because of communication or money. I feel we are strong in those areas:)

I worked at the local base gym and he was always in there. So we met there. We ended up getting pregnant two months into dating, and we got married when she was 14 months old. We have two more boys and are celebrating our 9th anniversary this year. We will renew our vows in 2014 to celebrate our 10th anniversary, as well as say our vows in front of God, instead of at the court house :).

We have lots of struggles, but we are also very in love. That makes it worth it. We make it work because we want it to work.

I met my husband on a blind date. My friend's husband worked with him and insisted that we meet. I had no interest, but agreed to let her give him my email address (to end the discussion). He wasn't really looking either, so he sent me an email and we agreed to have coffee one afternoon after work (really romantic).

I was late, which annoyed him greatly and his belt didn't match his outfit... 10 years later I'm still late for everything and I dress him to leave the house. We ended up sitting in a coffee shop and then going out for a drink that night.

How did I know he was "the one"? We were out to a very fancy dinner a few months after we started dating and my cell phone buzzed... buzzed again... buzzed a 5th time, so I stepped outside to call my mother back. My grandmother had fallen and broken her hip and was in the hospital. My parents lived in FL and we were in NY (15 minutes from the hospital) and my mom wanted me to go there. He saw the look on my face outside the window, got the check and the food "to go" and met me outside. We ended up spending the night in the hospital until my mother could get a flight. He picked her up from the airport the next afternoon (with a sandwich) and got her to the hospital immediately.

If he could be that giving and loving under that kind of pressure, never having met my mother... well... day-to-day life was going to be pretty darn good.

Why is our marriage successful? Bottom line... because we want it to be. We are partners. There are no "mom jobs" or "dad jobs", there are only things that need to happen to make our family life work. We both change diapers, make dinners, make bottles, do laundry, mop the floors, buy gifts... whatever.

We also laugh together all the time. When the kids go to bed at night, we spend time together. We don't do "date nights" very often for lots of reasons, but we also make it a point to spend at least a half hour together every night, even if it's paying bills over a glass of wine. It's together and without the television.

We met in a college math class. He and a friend were talking behind me before class; I was shamelessly eavesdropping because I was enjoying my now husband's sense of humor. We got a test back that day that I made a good grade on and he flunked. So I offered to tutor him. (He claims I was hitting on him; I maintain that I was simply trying to help.) Tutoring didn't work out so well because we just ended up talking for three and a half hours. We started dating instead and married four and a half years later. We'll be celebrating 13 years of marriage next month.

The reasons it has worked:

We settled our one major difference before marriage (religious); it was important enough to both of us that we were prepared to walk away from the relationship rather than compromise. There are many small things where compromises are healthy and necessary, but this wasn't one of those for us. I believe being on the same page with this is the single best thing we did to ensure success elsewhere.

Additionally, we communicate openly. We are friends who enjoy each other's company and can talk (and do) endlessly about everything even when we don't agree. We are on the same page when it comes to finances and life goals. Our only sources of conflict are occasional disagreements on childrearing and someone (pointing finger at self) maybe spending a bit more time on the computer than strictly necessary and someone else (pointing finger at him) not knowing when to quit working. These are never major issues, though, and are usually resolved quickly (our top limit is usually a few hours of someone pouting before apologizing).

We met at church.

We were both divorced, and he had a child.

This one works because we want the same things in life. We also share a religion, which is the core of our ethical principals. It also guides us. We know at the end of this life where we will be, and how we are going to get there.

We definitely have issues like any married couple, but we are committed to working them through. The important thing it to overlook the day to day trivial stuff and look at the big picture. We both compromise when needed, and hold our ground when needed.

I think the core of every marriage is communication. We communicate BECAUSE we love each other.

We also have a good situation with my daughter's mom. If we didn't have that, we would have many more problems. I have heard horror stories, and I'm just glad that we don't have that!

We try to be clear with each other, not make "hidden demands" or get upset when the other can't read minds. I also think we've both mellowed since our first marriages. We both know that some things just aren't worth arguing over.

We worked together at a nightclub......We dated for 4 months before we got married in Vegas :) That was 11 years ago and we're still as happy as ever!

We met at a club in Myrtle Beach. We have been married for 10 years in November and we have been together for 16 years this year. We have 2 beautiful daughters. Things are rough sometimes in our marriage, but we are sticking it out. Our main issues are different opinions on major issues such as money, religion, in-laws.
Interesting question and interesting answers!!

hmmm
I met my ex when i was 14 and he was 18. We stayed together until I was 26 and found out he cheated the entire time. When we were together we worked very well together our personalities and interests fit perfectly BUT that was because he made it so and faked it. He hadissues he needed to fix and I wasnt the one that he could be with while doing that.

My fiancee whom I expect to spend the rest of my life with.
Met in a bar. It's odd I saw him when I walked in and he stood out to M. and I thought he was cute, but he wasnt my type at all at that point. I was out with a guy who i was seeing but it dwindled and we were J. friends at this point. My fiancee sung "lets get it on" to his friend and sounded like the radio. I ran into her in the bathroom and told her, her husband sounded great and she corrected M. and said he was J. her friend. Later that night he came over and asked for my number. I declined because i was there with my friend and didnt want to be rude although at that point we were J. friends and he slipped M. his number anyway. I called 2 weeks later and we started dating casually at first then it got serious within 2 months

hmmm when did I know he was the one? Thats tough because our relationship has two parts
the begining before he met my daughter- I knew i wanted to be serious with him and was wanting to introduce him after 4 months because we enjoyed eachother and could laugh together and J. simply have fun in a croud. I felt comfortable being myself around him, which for M. is rare. I'm ussually shy at first and awkward, but when I'm with him I'm not at all even if he's across the room. He also had this knack of making M. feel beautiful and his friends were wonderful

Second part of the relationship-- after he met my daughter is when I knew he was the one. Not right away. I told him I didnt want her getting close to any guy until I knew they were the one for him so he purposely distanced himself for the first few months of knowing her. He was great with her but held back fromn getting attached.
When we went away that summer (around 7 months into dating) with his family and Emmy to the shore and all stayed together I knew he was someone I could see a future with. Thats when he opened up to her moreso than J. any kid he knew, thats also when we started being affectionate in front of her. Prior we would sneak kisses or hold hands when she turned her back.

When I knew he was the one was when his and Emmy's relationship blosommed and he started treating her as his own. THe nore he loved her, the more I fell in love with him.

I think it took M. a year to know for sure because I put so many limitations on it trying to protect my daughter. I made things hard at first with all of my rules surrounding her so we couldnt J. be natrual from day one with her. I'm still glad I did this though.

Emmy sealed the deal when she asked to call him dad a year ago. She still calls him by name 80% of the time though.
we're getting married this summer althopugh we;ve been living together for the last year and a 1/2 so technically i shouldnt answer this=)

We met in college. We were on a leadership team as assistants to the RA's for planning events for our floors. We started dating half way through our sophomore year and got married 1 month after we graduated. We will celebrate 12 years in June.

Marriage is challenging. There are good times and hard times, but we have made a commitment to each other for life. We work hard at our relationship and make time with each other a priority. Sometimes that is hard with 3 kids but they know that we love each other. He is my best friend and I couldn't imagine living without him.

I met my hubby at work. I always knew I'd marry someone I worked with, despite all the taboo. We were friends for two years before we dated. I knew would would marry because he wasn't like anyone I ever had a relationship with!

Mine use to fight in Rage in the Cage. Arizonas local ufc stuff. Well my friend and I went to see a fight and when he came out to fight I was in LOVE! After the fights I went to talk to him. We exchanged numbers but didnt talk for a while. Well about a week before my 21st bday he called and I told him how no one could go out with me on my bday, so he said he would. 2 days after my birthday we went on our first date and well the rest is history:) I KNEW he was the one I would be with forever when my father passed away. I was in another state working and he was at his moms wedding in Delaware. I called him at 6 am crying and he arranged my flight home as well as his. He missed him own moms funeral to be home in Arizona with me. He even made 4 round trips to California to be there while my mom and I made arrangements. We will be celebrating 9 years together next month, sure we have our issues just like every marriage but we always work them out.

met on a airplane. seated together. not love at first sight, but comfort at first sight. dated for 6 months, engaged then i moved across the country for work. later we married and had 2 kids. at first it was not all bliss. his mom was a major problem, and then i got sick. took a few years for me to say screw the b... and cut off ties. then he saw the light. there were other problems too. one of us had to quit working and concentrate on supporting the other and kids and their health. that was me. i struggled with it for a while, still do, but our marriage makes it worth it. our relationship is very strong. the love and respect is what makes it work for us. 10 years this year.