How Did You Care for a Toddler While Dealing with Morning Sickness??

Updated on June 04, 2014
J.K. asks from Los Angeles, CA
10 answers

I feel extremely guilty that I haven't been a good mother to my 22 month old because of my morning sickness. I am not as engaging, I don't smile as much, I don't talk as much, I don't read to her as much, I let her watch more TV, I let "teachable" moments pass all the time, and I don't always discipline when I should.

Children around this age absorb and learn so much that I'm afraid that my inability to do everything I'm supposed to do will set her back or cause her to form bad habits. I'm also afraid that my daughter will feel like she's not loved by me because I don't act the way I used to. She's been calling out for "mommy" more frequently and has been more clingy than usual. I'm not sure if she's going through a phase or if she's acting this way because things are a bit different.

Even assuming that morning sickness will affect me only during the first trimester, I will still have to deal with it for another month. How did you handle caring for a toddler while dealing with morning sickness? And how did your toddler handle it?

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Featured Answers

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

For a few months I was pretty much on the couch or in bed. Read to my two year old, we snuggled a lot, listened to music, watched plenty of PBS Kids. Didn't cook a lot, and only took short trips out. He's a junior in college now, doing well, working, running, studying computer science, has a girlfriend and a very active social life, so I guess me being sick with his little sister had ZERO impact on the young man he has become.
Don't overthink it. Women have been bringing children into this world for thousands of years, and I promise you they weren't all nearly as "engaged" as we are!

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S.E.

answers from Wichita Falls on

Stop feeling guilty, (she's likely picking up on those emotions) this is just part of life. My daughter was 20 mths old when I became pregnant with my son. I had morning sickness for the entire pregnancy and couldn't do all I wanted either. She is now a very healthy, intelligent, socially well adjusted, and loving 13 yr old. Being perfect isn't necessary just love her and do your best, it will be enough, I promise.
What will happen is, she will learn how to be self entertained for short periods of time which will be important with a newborn in the house. Put on music instead of the TV, save the vids for 'special occasions' when you will need more time. Give her the freedom of unstructured play, it will encourage her imagination, put a doll or stuffed animal in front of her and have her tell you a story about it. Some kids do well with a set schedule, so she knows she will have special time with you and you can control it to the time of day you feel best.

But about the morning sickness, eat a bunch small meals throughout the day. The trick is not to let your stomach get completely empty but not to eat til your full either.

9 moms found this helpful
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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

It sucks, doesn't it? I was sick the whole pregnancy with my second child. Ug! My husband used to come home from work and say, "Where's Mommy?" To which our son would reply, "In the bathroom throwing up."

Our son did watch more tv than he should have. I tried to turn off the tv, but that was hard for me! I spent time on the couch, sipping my Sprite. I tried to make sure there were plenty of toys and such in our living room. Sometmes our son would play near me and I could engage him without moving too much.

Naptime was a lifesaver ... and often we both napped :-)

For me, cooking was really tough. So, anything that I could prepare that didn't need to be cooked (since that was when I most noticed the smell) helped. Sandwiches, cereal, yogurt, fruit. Really, any way you can think of to make things she likes.

Hang in there, and try not to worry about things so much. You are not going to do irreparable damage! Keep loving her and do what you can. One of the things you are teaching her is that she is not the center of the world, and sometimes Mommy just can't do everything that she wants. Hhhmmm, maybe pregnancy is preparing her for the reality of having a sibling?

8 moms found this helpful

V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

You just do what you have to do. They will adjust and things will become the new normal.

As for the sickness part of it, I hope you are correct and it goes away soon. Mine lasted until labor started. Round the clock. When I became pregnant with #2, my son was about 3 months older than your daughter. And he was a handful. And didn't nap.

At one point, I was so ill, he stayed with my in-laws for about 5 days in another town. My husband had to go to work, and I was physically unable to deal with him. Once we figured out the right medication (Zofran helped a lot) I was functional. Though I did go and spend about 2 weeks with my parents near Christmas time (my mom drove down and got my son and me and brought us to my parents' house). That was a lifesaver for me as well.
Zofran every 4 hours helped me be able to get a shower, and make short trips to the grocery store for bare necessities. Able to make a PBJ half-sandwich and apple slices for my son for lunch. That kind of thing.
But actually playing with him, on the floor and such? Meh... not so much.
We watched a lot of Disney movies.

It isn't the end of the world. And it's only for a few months. Then you get the challenge of doing it when you are sleep deprived and have a needy newborn infant to care for as well. Sometimes I think the round the clock nausea was prep for once the baby arrived.

It'll be ok. My son handled it just fine. He finished potty training, and was excited to have a new baby sister. They are 12 & 15 now and are very close.
---
Oh.. one thing I wanted to include and totally forgot. Whatever you do, however you end up coping, please do not ever tell your daughter that you can't do something (or that you feel bad) "because of the baby". Just don't.
Tell her you don't feel well.. fine. Just don't relate it in any way shape or form to the baby.

7 moms found this helpful

I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

i gave into lots of t.v.. I had lots of guilt. I laid on the couch a lot. Sometimes the need to be motionless lead to tender moment when I read to her, or cuddled her. But more often than not it was a toddler being left to entertain herself while mommy let the house fall apart all around. They all survived it. I felt terrible about it at the time, but all is well and they seem no worse for the wear. Like many seemingly impossible things, you just get through it moment by moment and day by day. You get help when you can. hope and pray your husband understands and picks up lots of slack.

7 moms found this helpful
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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

The point is just to survive through it in any way you can. For me, that meant lying on the bathroom floor, near the toilet while the toddlers watched The letter factory on repeat. ;-)

They are young - it is only a few months of their life, and they will not remember.

6 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I worked child care when I was pregnant with my daughter. I puked every single day at least 2 or 3 times. I didn't miss a single day of work. You just get up and decide that feeling like your stomach is going to twist into knots and hurt from all the retching isn't going to effect you.

You lay down in the floor and play with her, you lay in bed and watch the TV shows together, you eat a lot of stuff that doesn't require cooking. Microwaves are your friend and eating cold or room temp food is also wonderful.

Just take it a day at a time, no, forget that. Take 5 minutes at a time.

Updated

I worked child care when I was pregnant with my daughter. I puked every single day at least 2 or 3 times. I didn't miss a single day of work. You just get up and decide that feeling like your stomach is going to twist into knots and hurt from all the retching isn't going to effect you.

You lay down in the floor and play with her, you lay in bed and watch the TV shows together, you eat a lot of stuff that doesn't require cooking. Microwaves are your friend and eating cold or room temp food is also wonderful.

Just take it a day at a time, no, forget that. Take 5 minutes at a time.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Detroit on

I will add to the great advice that you have already received: at 22 months old, your little girl will not remember that you were sick. My older son was 4 when I was pregnant with his little brother and he doesn't recall any of it even the times that he accompanied me to the doctor visits.

I recall reading many years ago, that most people cannot remember most of their life before the age of 5. With that being said, I think you're safe!

2 moms found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Make TV time cuddling time, color while laying on the couch, and read doing the same! Just tell her mommy is not feeling well and you want to play doctor and she can take care of you. Kids understand when people are in pain, don't feel well, etc. Some teachable moments WILL pass but that happens when you have more than 1 kid - you can't always be there for each kid 100% of the time because you have to devote time to each of them. Let hubby take her out for special nights - ice cream, library, etc. Good luck and this too shall pass!

1 mom found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

There are so many things you can do with her while lying around. Read books, do puzzles, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is a godsend. This too shall pass.

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