How Did He Propose?

Updated on February 15, 2012
C.P. asks from Jefferson City, MO
18 answers

I've known since three weeks into my relationship that this is the man I'm going to marry.

We've discussed it since then quite a lot, and not just the fluffy feel-good stuff. We're doing some premarital workbook exercises and reading "The 5 Love Languages" and "Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts." We want to enter into marriage with our eyes wide open. We intend to do premarital counseling too...and enjoy a long, thoughtful engagement. We attend church together and do devotions and pray together in the evening.

We're really not rushing (even though it's only been 4 months since we started dating!). Everything is amazing as can be! I didn't know that love like this even existed until I met my Guy.

No, he hasn't asked yet. But I'm pretty sure he's going to THIS FRIDAY NIGHT! He's so up to something...

So, tell me, how did the love of your life propose? Did you say yes right away? Did you go through premarital counseling? How are you doing now? Any advice (please don't be rude)?

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So What Happened?

Oh, I LOVE all of your stories! Please, keep them coming!

I did forget to mention...he asked for my mom's blessing already (my dad died before I was born)...and she said yes, but only after grilling him on his intentions. :-)

She didn't tell me this...HE did! :-)

So I know it's coming...just not exactly certain when.

Featured Answers

L.W.

answers from Dallas on

Well I wish I had some mind blowing proposal story to share but nope, not my guy. We just talked about getting married and did it after several months of dating. I keep teasing him almost 12 years of marriage later, "I'm waiting for you to ask me to marry you." Still no proposal....lol.

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M.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Fantastically!!! I was able to get off early from work (I worked at a Country Club at the time) and when I called my husband to see if he was up for going out he complained he had a headache and wanted to stay home. I was bummed and a little mad at it was a Friday night and we rarely had that night off together. I pulled into the driveway to a dark house . . . opened the front door to my house luminating with candles and rose pedals leading out to our back deck. I had no clue what was going on. Jazz music was playing in the background and I was so confused. I followed the path of roses to find my husband standing on the deck surrounded by candles and standing in a bed of roses. When I walked out onto the porch he dropped to one knees said a bunch of stuff I don't remember and proposed. It was awesome! Seven 1/2 years later, 2 kids and one on the way we are still married and I can say we are happy!!!

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⊱.H.

answers from Spokane on

We dated 7 years before getting engaged. I was only 20 when we met and I sure wasn't looking for a long-term relationship!
Anyway, he planned a snowmobile trip to Winthrop for just the 2 of us over New Year's. We were riding and doing some hill climbing. I was tired so I was waiting at the bottom of one hill and he comes down and says "you've got to climb this hill, it's awesome up there". So I did. Up on top of the hill was an amazing view and this tree that looked like it was made of glass b/c the ice was glistening under the sun. It was breathtaking. We parked the sleds under it and decided to have lunch :) well, he had more than lunch in his pack! He hands me a plastic champagne flute and pulls out a bottle of champagne :) he then gets down on one knee and proposed! It was perfect and awesome and still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it!!! He had asked my Dad and my Mom for permission to marry me before the trip. It was traditional and exactly the way I hoped it would be!
We did do marriage counseling with my pastor for 6 weeks prior to the wedding.
We will be married for 10 years in July and together for 17+. I love him more today than the day we married. He has made all my dreams come true and my life is complete and I will love him forever for it!

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

On bended knee in the piazza outside of the Pantheon in Rome. Our first euro trip together. We had been together for 5 years, so there wasn't really a question of whether or not I'd say yes.

We're going on 7 yrs married, now. Been together for 13.
My best advice is a 2 parter:
1. Don't expect him to change into something he's not. If you love him now, expect that this is exactly how he'll be through kids, mortgages, friends, etc...
2. Make sure you're friends, before anything else. (Meaning, make sure that you like him as a person, flaws and all.) If you don't like who you're with, after all the heat goes away and the drone of life sets in, you're setting yourself up for trouble.

My husband makes me laugh, has supported me through some really ugly stuff, and loves me in spite of my flaws and quirks.
If you have that, you're in good shape!

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

Yep, we knew by our second or third date... He proposed only 6 weeks after we met.. and got married 10 months from the day we met. And yes, we did a premarital church workbook and counseling as well. And we also read Dr. Phil's Relationship Rescue, which I highly recommend for all couples.

One day we were at class together, and he looked at me and said, "Let's go pick out rings". So, that was the 'official' proposal, I suppose! But few week later, he picked up the finished ring and carried it around in his pocket all night. Then, he took me to the park at night and played some music... Did the knee thing and recited a poem he had written for me, then popped the question and we danced. Then a group of thugs started towards us and we ran off, got in the car and sped away. It was pretty sweet.

As for now, we have our ups and downs like every couple, but our downs are few and far between. We have been married for 9 years, and our expecting our third child. Life is wonderful, even though it gets stressful at times, (mostly due to the economy and all).

* I will add, if we did it all over again, I would have eloped and skipped the mess of a wedding/reception. What a nightmare!

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M.C.

answers from Pocatello on

My husband planned on asking me at a romantic picnic... overlooking our valley on my birthday... sigh.

A freind of mine blew his cover when we were at the grocery store. He showed her a ring (quietly) while I was in the next aisle, and she screams "OH MY GOODNESS- YOU ARE GOING TO PROPOSE?"

I walk around the corner of the aisle and he looked at me and said "Um so.....?" I said "So what????" he said "So will you marry me?" and I said "um, yes".

He was dumb as rocks back then (romantically speaking) and cancelled the picnic! UGH! Every year I remind him that he gave me the worst proposal ever, and he owes me a new one! Thank goodness marriages are way more than weddings and proposals!

We didn't do premarital counseling. We just try to be compassionate, honest, and keep focused on what matters.

My advice, treat him the way you want to be treated, and ask him to do the same. Try to love him, even when you are mad- and let him know, and never keep a secret or lie to him about anything important, even if it is embarrassing or you think he'll be mad or disappointed in you! Expect that you will have good times and bad times... but the harder times are opportunities to grow together!

Oh last bit of advice, even if you think he will propose soon... don't get your hopes up! if he pulls out a jewelry box- expect a necklace not a ring for goodness sakes! Don't make the mistake of counting your chickens before they hatch! And if he proposes to you in the grocery store- KICK HIS BUTT for me, ok?

Happily Married 6.5 years... and I have LOVED every minute of it!

-M.

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S.O.

answers from Chicago on

My husband proposed at Brookfield Zoo in front of the polar bears on Christmas Day. I cried like a baby and forgot to say yes until he reminded me. We did not go to premartial counseling. We have been married (mostly happy) for almost 23 years. My advice is to remember it takes work to have a great marriage. You will have ups and downs but always take the time to look at your spouse and remember why he means the world to you.
Best of Luck!!!

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K.L.

answers from Sacramento on

When i told him that I was pregnant with our second child, he said "ok, how about we get married after the baby comes?" And that was it :)

We got married on our sixth anniversary, with our two sons by our sides. I wouldn't have it any other way! Now, we have been married for four months, and are expecting our third blessing in October :)

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

I was the same as you I knew right away he was who I would marry. I helped pick out the ring so I knew he was going to ask me sometime but would not tell me when. It was almost three months after we started dating. But we had known eachother for a while longer than that as friends. I kept telling him he had to talk to my parents and had given him lots of opertunities to do so and kept giving me reasons he didn't get to talk to them. I had a 1 1/2 year old son and my parents postponed thier trip to see my brother out of state so they could babysit and they said it was for his birthday. I took him out for his 30th birthday to dinner. I told the wait staff it was his birthday. So they came and sang to him as the walked off he looked at me and said now your turn. And he got out of the booth and got down on one knee and told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and would I marry him. I was in shock somewhat cause I didn't think he had talked to my parents and when we walked in the house my mom was cracking up. Ended up he told me my dad was leaving when he got there but what he didn't say was he got him to stay so he could talk to him. We did not do counciling cause my dad was the one that married us and he knew both of us and where we stood with eachother. We will be married 11 years in April.

Good luck and God Bless!

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J.H.

answers from Kansas City on

It sounds like you are truly taking steps to ensure a happy life together! My husband and I met just after I was getting out of a loooong, failure of a relationship and he was just finishing the divorce process from an awful relationship. We never went through formal premarital counseling, but I think we covered it ourselves. ;-) We were both very upfront with each other about what we expect in a relationship, no hidden expectations here. And truly, he never formally proposed. We had talked about the fact that we would eventually marry, etc. He started talking about having children and I told him no way out of marriage and I wanted to finish my degree! (I took the extended college plan due to the affor mentioned relationship) It wasn't long after that we just stopped in at a jewelry store and bought the rings! LOL. Again, there are no major surprises in our relationship. I like to believe that this is one of the many reasons that we are still quite happily married 13 years later. (with two wonderful children and yes, that degree! LOL) I often get asked if we ever argue, and the honest answer is not really. We knew each other completely going in and whatever changes have happened through the years, we know it! ;-) One reason that I know I married the man God had intended for me.
I wish you nothing but happiness in your years ahead! J.

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Denver zoo in front of the amphibian center(I love frogs). Our friends were with us and I had no idea but of course they did and when one of them went to get the camera he joked "i'm going to take a pic of your a$$"...so I of course would not turn around and kept saying "if he's going to take a pic of butt I'm not turning around ...finally he basically picked me up and turned me around...then went into his speech, which I heard nothing of!

I said yes before he could finish and totally forgot about the ring...he finally grabbed my hand and put in on. It was a Claddaugh ring with an emerald...most amazing ring I could ever have asked for.

We did not do counseling, but we did have list of questions for each other and we immediately starting answering and talking about all the finances, kids, families, housing...we made he decision together that I would be the one who moved...

Been married almost 8 years together for almost 10.

ETA: I love the fact that I had no clue! I mean I knew we would get married but I didn't think he would propose 7 months into the relationship...which up until that point had been long distance the whole time!

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K.H.

answers from Wausau on

Well, I was proposed to in the Bahamas on the beach (my man won a cruise for four to the Bahamas). We were on the beach my mom was there too with a video camera and she said lets all take a walk down the beach...I want to film the ocean. So we walked then my boyfriend said this is a nice spot lets stop here for a while...then he got down on one knee and proposed to me...while my mom was filming it, The first thing I did was looked at my mom then at him and said .."You guys are weird!" out of shock I suppose lol, then I said said yes while crying my eyes out. We had counseling before we got married and took a really fun "How well do you know eachother" class too! Unfortunatly we divorced 3 years later due to his cheating...yet we were together for 8 years total.

Congrats to you! =)

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Okay here is mine... he was drunk and I was mad! Yes, this is the stuff that romance is made out of!! We were attending the homecoming dance at his fraternity and he was drunk as a stunk! I was mad because he got drunk at all the dances! So I'm driving him home AGAIN and I'm pissed AGAIN and bitching AGAIN all the way. At that time, he had just moved back in with his parents and I'm helping him to his room and his mom says "how's going" I'm like "hey fine". She was like "ah oh". I throw him on the bed and go to the bathroom. I walk back into his room and he has the box open with the ring in it. I'm like "are your serious"???! Really?! I was upset. This is NOT have I imagined my proposal! I finally said "aren't you going to say anything" and he asked me to marry him. I said yes! He called my Dad who was in Brazil at the time on business and asked for his permission. Dad said "hell yeah, get her off my payroll!!! Hmmm... must have worked because we just celebrated 25 years of wedded bliss! We met in May and got engaged in October and married the folloiwng August.

Yes we did premartial counseling and I think its important. Helps with expectations. Marriage is not for the faint of heart. Its not all fairy tales and happy endings. Someone has to clean the toilet! But if you love each other and LIKE each other than nothing is impossible. I love my husband but I sure do like him as well. He is my best friend, partner in crime and my wing man! Plus he is pretty good in the sack BONUS!!!! And he is the sexiest man ever!

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

He proposed where we had our first date. It was by the waterfront and he packed us a picnic. We sat on the same bench we did when we had our first date and reminisced about it for awhile, and then he asked me to grab something out of the cooler which was "conveniently" placed on my other side, and when I turned back to him he was down on one knee with the ring box in his hand and told me how much he loved me, etc and would I marry him? I said yes so fast of course. It was sweet he looked so nervous. He was happy that I said yes. Then we went for a walk down the water, it was a beautiful day.

We didnt get marriage counseling. We have been together for 6 years now, and have a beautiful son together.
Marriage can be trying, and hard sometimes but you have to remember the big picture and not let the small stuff get you down. You are in it together and always remember to communicate what you feel.
He is your rock and you are his, so depend on each other, learn together, and love one another.

As long as you love, and respect each other always, you cant go wrong :)

It's wonderful that you found someone you love so much, ALWAYS remember that feeling!!

A possible congrats to you! :D

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J.J.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi C.,

I love your post and reading all the responses - I'm at work with watery eyes and a stupid grin on my face, lol. I think it's wonderful that you feel so much passion and at the same time are trying to be realistic and fireproof your relationship. I am pseudo-engaged, we've been planning on getting married and we're about to get a ring. I've told him he needs to offically propose so I can have a story but we'll see if that happens, haha. To add to the advice you have already received... always remember he is a different person who thinks differently and sees the world differently. Don't assume you know what he is thinking or what he means without a lot of dialogue. We try to live by the principles in the book Four Agreements:

1. be impeccable with your word
2. don't make assumptions
3. don't take things personally
4. always do your best

Oh, and we are planning on doing some counseling too.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Back when we were just living together, I used to drive with a friend to another friend's house in a town 30 minutes away every week to watch Alias. There was an episode that was so crazy, and ended with Vaughn saying "i'm not Michael Vaughn" and I was all hyped up to tell him about it when I got home, and the next thing I know he's on his knee with a ring! I'm sure he said something, too, but I totally didn't hear him. :-)

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V.B.

answers from Houston on

At a personal photo shoot, then he started reading a poem, after that he proposed. So we had the pics to show the whole thing, it was sweet. God Bless you guys! Remember, it sometimes take a while to start thinking as "1". God is the best marriage counselor for He created both Love and Marriage. Wish you the best!

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

My hubby put my engagement ring on layaway on our second date. He proposed during a nice dinner 8 months later after the ring was paid off. Lol!!! We met originally on 10/10/07. Then he called me in Jan 08 and we started seeing each other and we got engaged on 10/10/08. We married on 10/10/09. We did not go to any kind of counceling, we had both been married before and if anything teaches you about yourself and marriage, its going thru a failed marriage! We are completely opposites yet the same, hard to explain but we have a very deep bond. My kids and I have been so blessed to have this man in our lives! Advice? Always communicate and if you don't agree, don't fight, agree to disagree and put an end to it. And honestly...try your hardest not to go to bed angry. We try really hard to do this and really, we have very few disagreements. Also, don't cut him off from sex just because you are mad at him. Thats a game a lot of women play and it usually backfires and causes too much resentment and sometimes you can't get past it. Love isn't enough, you need trust and honesty and committment...no matter what and forever. Congrats and good luck!!

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