How Common Is It for a 3 Yr Old to Develop a Passion/obsession for Something?

Updated on May 04, 2009
J.X. asks from Natick, MA
19 answers

Hi,
My son has a fascination with ocean creatures and this has started since he was 18 months and he is now 3.5 yrs. For awhile, he was interested in learning about dinosaurs and lions but that lasted only a few months and returned to ocean creatures again. His vocabulary and articulation does not seem to be affected but has in fact expanded since he likes to contrast and compare ocean creatures with land, etc. He has also taken to drawing ocean creatures as a favorite activity to do. He draws everyday at least 1 or 2 pictures with lots of different sea animals.

I think this is normal but have not noticed that it's common to have such a passion/obsession with something and totally incorporate it into everything that he does. If he sees a stick, he'll pick it up to bring home b/c it's a swordfish. Or a rock, he'll bring it home b/c it's a filefish, etc. He brings it home and lines them up and if somebody knocks it out of place, he gets a bit upset by it, depending on his mood. He has somewhat of a compulsive behavior (does not want sleeves to get wet when hand washing, must zip up jacket if wearing one, etc.). He is social and has many friends at school but also likes to be by himself too when he's doing his fish stuff. I'm just looking to see what other moms are experiencing out there. It seems silly and peculiar at the same time but thought I'd ask around.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the responses! I really appreciate all the perspectives. For now, I'll keep a close eye on his behavior and compulsions. It does not seem like he isn't unable to modify his behavior or adjust to new things. For example, when his teachers and friends say goodbye to him, he usually does not answer them but we've been working on it and making a special point to see that he tries and he has attempted, at times, he needs a reminder, other times he doesn't. Thank you to all who responded!

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L.P.

answers from Lewiston on

wow, I think he's very intelligent! keep fostering that love of learning. I think it's wonderful and I wouldn't worry about a thing.

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M.C.

answers from Boston on

Hi Jose,
Sounds like he has a great imagination. If you are concerned about this I would discuss it with his doctor. Some kids do get fixated and that is okay. If he is a little compulsive that might just be who he is. I would mention this to his doctor. I love the bit about the knock knock jokes!

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L.B.

answers from Boston on

What your son is exhibiting is perfectly normal! My son (now 17) was into trains. It began with his first Thomas the Tank Engine train.. they were dycast metal back n 1993. When he was 18 months old. EVERYTHING had to be Trains. From his bedding to the toilet paper if we could have found it. At 3-5, he watched train videos, sang train songs, knew all the parts of a train, loved and I mean LOVED to go to Edaville Railroad. The commuter rail runs by our home and it was important to him to see the train go by as often as he could.
People whose own children were not into one specific thing commented on how 'Odd' my son was. Funny thing... my son grew up gained other interests and flourished. He also tested Gifted and Talented in 2nd grade and recently scored in the top percent for his SATs.
SO...in my own motherly opinion.... its a sign of high intellegence!

Since... I have a neice who went through a horses and unicorn stage and a nephew who went through a stage where he could tell you the names of the plumbing pipes and where the plumbing ran in the house at the age of 3!

Enjoy your sons love of sea creatures and the facts he spits out...before you know it, he'll be all grown and interested in girls! LOL

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T.S.

answers from Boston on

Be glad that it's ocean creatures, my son's constant obsession is Batman. Everything is Batman. He takes up passing interests, like crocodiles and sharks which are the current ones, but ask him what his shark is called and his name is "Batman". Ask him what the crocodile is doing, he's playing with Batman. You get the picture.

I work with kids, and it's pretty common at that age. And I think it's great he's incorporating that theme into other things he does. So long as he's not doing one activity all day long in the same repetitive manner, then I wouldn't worry.

Have you taken him to the aquarium? I bet he'd LOVE it!

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L.B.

answers from Boston on

I would like to echo what Katie and Molly have said. Although the obsession, in and of itself, seems normal, That, combined with the other issues, makes me think of Asperger's. He may or may not have it, but I would have him evaluated to be sure.

My son has Asperger's and you could have been describing him at that age. When he was a toddler I had concerns as you do. When he first started school some of his behaviors prompted me to request that he be tested for a learning disability. I was pretty much laughed at and told that he should be tested for the gifted and talented program. He was and did qualify. I know now that the two are not mutually exclusive. He was not diagnosed until 11th grade. I wish I had talked to his pediatrician and/or insisted he be tested.

My son will be graduating from college next week, with two majors, cuma sum laude and with honors. So he has done just fine with no intervention. HOWEVER, if I knew then, what I know now, about autism/Asperger's, life would have been so much easier for us both. He is able to function very well, but he has some significant anxiety and OCD issues that I believe would have been less severe had I received some guidance when he was younger. He has done so well for himself, but I often wonder how much more he could have accomplished if I had been aware of his condition when you was younger.

As a side note, I have two boys and a girl. Both boys had "obsessions" when they were little. Actually, the younger one (the one with Asperger's) still does. But my older son didn't have the compulsive issues that my younger one did. My daughter never had an obsessions -- quite the opposite, actually. lol

Sorry, didn't mean this to turn into a novel. But I wanted to encourage you to have your son evaluated. There's nothing to lose and so much to gain!

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C.S.

answers from New London on

It's completely normal. For close to a year now, my daughter's been obsessed with cats and fish.

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K.R.

answers from Boston on

Hi, I hate to be negative, but it sounds like it could be Asperger's Syndrome. With Asperger's, a child often develops an obsession like this and incorporates it into everything (it often remains a lifelong obsession). That's not necessarily bad; he might end up being a stellar marine biologist! But along with the sensory issues (sleeves getting wet) and the putting things in a line (classic autistic behavior), I would get him evaluated just in case -- kids with Asperger's can often seem like other kids but may need some extra help adjusting socially when they're older. Your child, if he has it at all, might have just a very mild case, totally nothing to freak out about -- back in the day many with Asperger's would just be considered eccentric, and that's with the more severe cases. But I would contact your pediatrician or the local school board for an evaluation. It can't hurt to be proactive. And if it does turn out the be so, they can teach him ways of coping with the sensory issues (he'll need to learn to get his sleeves wet sometimes to be studying fish, I'm betting). Good luck!

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E.C.

answers from Providence on

My son is like this with anything animals, my niece with princesses, my nephew with cars. I think this is totally normal! Kids this age are figuring out they can have interests and an decide things themselves. They like what they like!

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S.B.

answers from Boston on

My son sounds much like yours- he is 3 years, 1 month and his obsession is music; it has been for the last 2 years. Everything he plays with turns into a musical instrument, whether it is outside and he picks up a stick to pretend it is a guitar or inside with blocks pretening it is a horn. While he will play with different things each day, he continues to come back to music and his instruments. He is very sociable and we continue to introduce and have available an array of different toys and experiences. I think that as long as they are introduced to different things there is no need to worry.

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M.M.

answers from Lewiston on

This response is a little late, but I couldn't help adding our experience. My son's obsession in trains. He was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. Extreme obsessions is one of the indicators, as is compulsive behavior like needing them to be "just so." So are phobias, particularly of bugs, heights and water (all of which apply to my son). Above age-level intelligence and social awkwardness also apply. You might just want to keep your eyes out.

It has been helpful to have this diagnosis since nearly the beginning of kindergarten b/c the special ed. dept was able to incorporate him into a friends group for him to practice social scenarios and how to react appropriately when things don't go his way. The testing also showed his academic aptitude, which his teacher already knew of course, but it was nice to have proof of it. He goes to first grade for reading. I know of others who were diagnosed later than my son and, unfortunately, struggled in school more than necessary b/c they were labeled as "difficult" and didn't receive the services they needed. so, it would be better to have it checked out sooner rather than later if he seems to be exhibiting other signs.

Goodluck!

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L.M.

answers from Boston on

My son is 4 1/2 and is facinated with ocean creatures too! The crab is his favorite. He was all about crabs since last summer and it has expanded to all ocean creatures. He can go through a book and name so many ocean creatures. It is quite impressive how much he knows. My son will talk about ocean creatures all day and incorporate it into just about everything. There is not a person we know that does not know about his love of the ocean. Sounds like our boys have a lot in common. We just let him do his thing and encourage learning as much as he can. We have taken out just about every ocean related book from the library they offer. We are also going to take him to the aquarium very soon. Can't wait to see his face when we get there!

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C.M.

answers from Boston on

I'd say check with his teachers, and if they are not concerned, then you have nothing to worry about! We moms only know our own unique kiddos, but teachers see a vast range of kids and know what falls into typical and nontypical behavior!

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C.W.

answers from Boston on

My son is exactly this way...he is now almost 5. I thought he would outgrow this but has not. I am currently in the throes of kindergarten and getting him help to "better prepare" him for this transition. My son also does not like to bathe, cut his hair, change in any way. What does the teachers say about this? does it interfere at school? My son's obsession right now is Pixar Cars...and collecting every one they have. Its overwhelming at times. I hope that your son outgrows this. :)

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J.A.

answers from Boston on

J.,

YES, YES, YES, YES!

J. L.

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R.B.

answers from Boston on

Despite his passion for ocean animals, does he show any interest in what other people mention, talk about, or are interested in? You said he's social and has lots of friends, but does he ONLY talk about ocean animals with them? Can he take the perspective of others and follow a conversation (even just 2-3 turns) that does not have the ocean animal subject?

What is his reaction when he "gets upset" about people knocking the "animals" out of place after he lines them up?

The "compulsive" behavior you describe (wet sleeves, zipped up jacket) sound more like a sensory piece more than a compulsion - as though he's uncomfortable and can't handle it. Seems like you mentioned it because you think it's an important part of the puzzle?

I think it's great that he has passion about a particular subject, and he sounds very bright - however, you want to watch and be sure that he can still waiver from it, carry basic conversations with others about other things, and be observant about how "upset" he gets about the disruption in his lining up of things. Does he line up other things / toys?

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A.G.

answers from Boston on

I am not an expert, but I think it is very common for three years olds, especially boys, to get obsessed with things. My son is almost four, and he was really obsessed with cars for a long time. He lines them up and does not want them disturbed. I think the compulsive behavior you mentioned is normal for the age also. I think that three-year-olds are very sensitive (to loud noises, hot/cold, fabrics, etc.)My son is the same way. Whenever he gets his clothes wet he demands them taken off. He also has to have his socks on perfectly, and his clothes can't be too big. Shoes are a huge struggle - he picks one pair he likes and won't wear anything else. When my daughter was three, we went through similar things with dressing issues.
Your son sounds very intelligent. I think that it is great that he has such a strong interest in sea creatures. Maybe he will become a marine biologist!

A. G.

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R.S.

answers from Providence on

As long as his obsessions/compulsions aren't interfering with his normal development & social interactions, then I wouldn't worry about it. It's all within the range of normal behavior. It's when these obsessions/compulsions start to interfere with his daily life or developmental growth that you need to worry.

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M.D.

answers from Boston on

Although this interest in ocean creatures could be completely normal on its own, the other things you mentioned (some of the compulsive behaviors) could indicate Aspergers Syndrome. I saw someone else also mentioned this. Aspergers is nothing to worry about, really, but do mention it to his pediatrician. Aspergers is on the Austism spectrum, but very mild, and even if your son does have this syndrome, I would say its very mild, because you also said he is social with friends. Just mention it to his pediatrician.

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D.F.

answers from Boston on

J.,

My son was obsessed with Buzz Light year for years, it started when he first came out he was about 3 I think. He is 10 and still has them all, loves them all still! My daughter loved horses since she could started speaking, she is now 22 and her love for them has never changed.

D.

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