How Can I Stop Co-sleeping Easily?

I did it in stages. First I put a toddler mattress in my room next to my bed, then I moved the toddler bed away from my bed but in my room. If they crawled back into bed with me in the middle of the night I put them back into the toddler bed.

Then, I switched to their bed. Made a big deal of it, got new sheets, flashlights, glow stars for the ceiling, books etc. We did rewards for staying in bed all night.

Worked for us

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I would kick them both out. Like Dori W. said, your little one is going to be pretty pissed that everyone gets the family bed and he's out. He will never stay away if he sees that.
My second son was always sneaking into my bed. He was quiet as a mouse and wouldn't take up much space at all so when I woke up I was often started by my boy laying there! Cute, but tiresome after a while. So, I FORCED myself to wake up for a week and walk his tiny butt back to his bed. I would say something like, "no no Sebas, this is your bed. You sleep here until the morning. I will see you when we wake up and we can cuddle." And we cuddled every morning until he was about 5. It took a week, but there were no tears, thank god.
I would move your 2 year old and your 3 year old to their own beds. Do it now before the new baby comes. Your bedtime routine is all out of wack and your 3 year old is plenty old enough to not have you lay down for HOURS with him. Get some kind of routine worked out for you and your family. Read books, lay down with him for 15 minutes, kiss him good night and out you go. My dad used to sit right outside the bedroom door and read a book. Every time my brothers would open the door to find my parents my dad would look up from his book and say, "back to bed" and the boys would close the door and go back to bed. He said he read quite a bit those two weeks, but eventually they stayed in their room.
It will be rough for a week or two, but after that it will be great! Enjoy your empty bed before the next one gets here. lol
L.

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Pretend to be a bed hog. This works best if they aren't quite asleep yet. I did this once and it worked like a charm.

I flopped my arm over her head. I kneed her in the stomach (not hard but uncomfortable). Everytime she would move me and get comfy, I would flop again. Finally she got out of bed and yelled at me that she was going to go sleep in her own bed. She stayed there. Every now and then she still asks to get in my bed and I remind her how she is a bed hog and I am a bed hog and so we don't work well in the same bed.

Good luck!

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We are trying to do the same thing right now. We just put his bed by our bed for now and for now we are letting him fall asleep in our bed and then moving him to his bed. We are starting in baby steps.

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What I did was to make my daughter a great bedroom. We talked about it, painted it a color she'd like, got new bedding and then when she woke up Christmas morning it was decorated with a canopy, a castle on the wall, other stuff she'd like. That night she started sleeping in it and that was that. Yes, she still wanted to sleep with us and asked but I was very matter of fact about the fact that this was her special princess room where she slept. She did come in to get a hug in the middle of the night for a bit after but, she got the hug and we walked her back to bed. There were not tears and drama. We had been talking about it and I presented it as an exciting thing for her. We didn't have a sibling still with us but we didn't make it about us having our bed to ourselves, we made it about her being older and having this special room (I also mentioned some friends she has that sleep in their own rooms, though usually peer pressure doesn't work on her!).

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I don't think "easy" is exactly going to be possible. You can do long and relatively painless (that's what I chose) or quick and painful (which I don't recommend). Actually, there are probably lots of ways, but this is what worked for us.

I would begin by starting every night in his bed. Whatever routine works for you, whether that's putting him to sleep in your bed and moving him or doing a routine in his room or whatever. Then, when he wakes in the middle just let him join you. As he gets used to his own bed, he will wake less and less. Also, overtime, he will begin to fall back to sleep in his own bed because he will recognize it as his own bed.

This is what we did with our boys. We decided that we wanted to have an open door policy at night, so we don't turn them down in the middle of the night. We did begin co-sleeping, so when we were ready for a change, we began (almost) every night in their bed.

They both go through phases of coming to us at night, but it's not every night. They also go through phases of sleeping the whole night in their own bed.

Good luck! You'll get there.

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I'm reading this and you are going to be asking an awful lot of a 3.5 year old in very short order-out of the family bed, new baby in the picture very soon, 26 month old still in family bed? New baby in family bed? yet he's out?

You need to do this slowly and discuss the transition and changes coming with him on his level. You can't just put him to bed and shut the door. He has no skills to sleep on his own. You have to teach him how to sleep.

If it were me I would bring the mattresses for both children into the bedroom and place them on the floor next to your bed to start the transition. Make a big deal of it that they are going to camp out in the bedroom. Establish new sleep routines. Bath, teeth, jammies, stories, then kisses for bed. Tell him mommy will stay for 5 minutes then it's quiet night night for everyone. It will not happen overnight and it may not happen easily because kids at 3 know what they want and when they want it.

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Michelle M. just asked the same question!

Read her responses, but...
- Pick a day and just do it!
- This is a 3 yr+ habit and it is going to be very hard to break, so stick to it!
- Mini rewards each morning for sleeping in his own bed will go a long way (think Dollar Store stuff)
- Just know that this WILL be harder for you than it will be for him. I know that sounds strange, but he'll be over it and will completely forget that this ever happened in a month.

You don't have to stay with him until he falls asleep, you choose to and let's be honest for a second- it's less stressful on you to not have to hear the crying. This is NOT a habit you want to get into.

Again, check out Michelle's question!

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There is NO way to stop it easily.

My wife spoiled our last one tremendously. He slept in our bed because she nursed him and never made him get in his own bed. When she tried the crowding he got up and got in between us or got on the other side.

You said it works for you. He could still be there when he is 8 or ten. If he is a bed wetter, you may get more incentive and decide its not really for you, unless you like going for a night time swim. ;~))

When my wife finally tired of it we would tell him to get in his bed and either she or I would read a book at his bedroom door and tell him to go back to his bed. I don't know how long it took, but I finished several books.

Good luck to you and yours.

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I am working on the same thing with my 2.5 year old. We have tried in the past and failed because I give up and I can't stand listening to him cry. However, some things we did in my son's room (LAST time we tried to get him out of our bed!) that might help you is putting his mattress right on the floor, so if he jumped I wasn't as worried about him doing serious damage if he fell. We also put a lock on the outside of his door so he couldn't come out, which was always his first reaction when he woke up. He would come out in the middle of the night looking for me all disoriented and wandering down the steps and downstairs -- scary. I used a video monitor so I could keep an eye on what he was doing and gauge how upset he was, so I knew when I needed to go in and when I would let him work it out himself.

Personally I would not worry if your son is in his room playing rather than sleeping. He will get into a rhythm of sleeping over time, as long as you put him in there the same time every night.

Good luck! I'll be checking your thread for more tips. I am more concerned about myself as we try this time... I can't handle him being upset or feeling like we've abandoned him. I know it will be harder for me than for him, but I still project all these emotions onto him that probably aren't there.

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I coslept until my son was 2. When we transitioned we went to target and he got to pick out sheets and a nightlight. Then we started slowly he would do half nights for a week. Then after that we would just go into his room if he woke up. Let him know it was OK and then leave. Honestly you are just going to have to be firm. I told my son that at 2 everyone gets there own bed etc. Maybe tell him it is a rule. Also get a baby gate so he can't leave his room but you can have the door open. Good luck it can be done but just be firm.
A.

I used a sticker chart, with a big surprise at the end if she stayed in the bed!

I'd decorate the kids room how they want it. Special bed sheets and blankets, night light etc. A couple of toys for the bed. Then move them at the same time so they have each other in the room. You also don't want your 26 month old to get used to sleeping with Mommy! (Maybe they can even sleep in the same bed for a few nights?) Set a reasonable bedtime routine. I let my kids have a book and or toy in bed. They may play a little but they eventually they go to sleep on their own. I would do it ASAP b/c 1)you don't want them to associate it w/the new baby and 2)you'll probably have several sleepless nights while they adjust. You're not going to want to do it with a new baby here. Be firm and consistent. I like the idea of reading a book outside the room. If they get out of bed I'd just pick them up, put them back in their beds and say "time for bed, love you, goodnight." Period. No conversation b/c you'll be in there all night explaining and they'll get the attention they're seeking.

Good luck and congrats on #3!

Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers by Elizabeth Pantley? It's got some great suggestions. Many libraries have a copy...

K.

I had to tell my daughter about 6 months before the baby was born - that she'd need to move either to her own room or the toddler mattresses at the end of our bed once the baby came. She's almost 6 y/o tho, so she was able to grasp what was happening better than an almost 4 y/o... and she still cried that she'd miss sleeping with Mommy.

Baby came home yesterday and she made her tearful way out of our bed and into her bed at the end of ours... and the baby kept her up for awhile, but she did finally sleep and did ok :o)

I would advise building him up over the months of your pregnancy to be ready to move out by the time baby #3 is born. You may even consider getting a toddler mattress and putting it on your floor for both the 3.5 y/o and 2 y/o to sleep on.

It doesn't seem that it will be an easy transition. One option is to buy his mattress and put it on the floor in your room, or maybe even put it in the hall just outside your room where he could get used to being in his own bed, but not yours. Then slowly move the bed towards his room? What about putting your two older kids in the same room?
I have been through this in that our daughter wanted to sleep with us after we were wanting her to be in her own bed and bedroom. We had to do some tough love and keep her door closed as she cried. It was really hard, but what we had to do (again no judgement right...:-) ) There is a book called the No Cry Sleep Solution that you might read. Also there is a children's book called "Mommy, I Want to Sleep in Your Bed." Can't remember who the author is, but we also read that book and it helped with the transition. Hope you can find a good solution from all the advice.

You are a good mommy who understands your childs needs and feelings. I dont blame you for not wanting him to cry. I recently saw a premier sleep specialist at Childrens and he said that letting a child cry themselves to sleep is like telling you to run and run until you fall asleep exhausted- you wont sleep well and you wont wake up rested. Sleep associations should be happy and restful, not stressful and scary. We are working on this with my 9 month old who Ive co-slept with since day one. I agree with the other moms about easing into it with a bed near yours and using rewards. Try The Baby Sleep Book: The Complete Guide to a Good Night's Rest for the Whole Family and The Berkley Parents Network website.

I was in your shoes several years back. I started telling my son that when he turned 4 he was going to have to sleep in his own bed because that was the rule. All four year olds sleep in their own beds. Somehow he bought it and on his birthday he went in his room and crawled in his bed. He did try a couple of times to sneak into our bed but I just reminded him about the rule.

Hello, not sure of all your answers, but here's mine. I think explaining things to children go a long way. Start by talking with him and saying, "You know, it's time to be a big boy and start sleeping in your own room". And he'll say, "I don't want to" and you just start the dialect with him. You're getting older and you have your own room, pretty soon you'll be in school, and so on. Then, set a day and tell him next Friday we're going to start reading a favorite story and then it's time for bed. Ask him why he doesn't want to and offer something new to buy for night time. Go out and shop with him, maybe a book, a character toothbrush and/or a night light. And tell him, if you do really good with this we can go a buy an ice cream, or lunch at your favorite place. It's little things that are planted in their heads. And whatever you do don't stay in their until he falls asleep. He'll never let you leave. And if he comes out you place him right back, over and over. Kids need consistancty. If you give in, he'll push you again and get his way. And when it does happen, you praise him. Tell him what a big boy he is and on and on. It may take a week, but he'll get it. Remember, explain and follow through no matter how long it takes. Good luck........

I did the same thing Crunchymama said. I kept crowding my son until he got tired of it and said, "I'm sleeping in my own bed where you can't take up all the room!" and out he marched, into his own room! It was awesome.

Moving into a new house could be good - or it might be worse. That's a big change for a child. Plus, he sees his toddler sibling still in your bed. Would this be a good chance to move BOTH of them into their beds? It might make it more exciting for them.....they're big kids now and get their own room and beds (will they share a room?). Maybe if it's fun enough, and they're together, it won't be so hard.

When I transitioned my daughter, she was easy. I just rocked her to sleep and put her in her bed and that was that. I didn't have to use the "bed hog" method on her! : )

Good luck! Blessings to you and your little ones.