D.C. asks from Detroit, MI on September 18, 2009
How Are You Monitoring Your Teens Text Messages?
How are you monitoring your teens texts? It's crazy, our parents could hear our conversations, now our teens don't talk on the phone at all, they text and it is more difficult to monitor the convo. If your child has a Metro PCS phone there are no safeguards for parents, how do you handle this?
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Thanks ladies, I appreciate you all taking the time to answer. I was wondering if any of you are using a service through your cell provider to monitor or limit txts or to notify you of inappropriate texts kind of like you can for emails?
Thx ~D.
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L.B. answers from Detroit on September 19, 2009
I also do a phone check, no questions asked! it's important, they know I am doing it because I love them and want them to be responsible young adults. They may not like it, but I'm their mom, not their best friend. Moms gotta do, what a moms gotta do!!!
Good Luck,
L. B
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D.Z. answers from Dayton on September 18, 2009
First off, I completely agree that teenagers phones are YOUR property. And it's your right to be nosey whenever you want to be. We have 13 year old twins (boy/girl) and whenever I want to (day or night) I'll say 'phone check' and whoever I'm talking to hands over their phone. No questions, no 'hold on a min', they hand them over. Before we got them phones, that was a rule that was laid out. There has been one time that my son (not my daugther surprisingly) has hesitated and attempted to get out of handing it over and because he did, he lost his phone for a week. I can't even remember why he was reluctant to hand it over, but I remember it was for nothing. When I do phone checks, I just scroll through and look for anything obscene. They are 13, so I expect to see curse words (which I tell them about) but I'm more interested in sexting or anything threatening or sneaky. In 2 years that they have had phones, we've only had 1 major problem (as far as the messages go) and after that phone check, my son straightened up. I normally do phone check once or twice a week. Sometimes more if I feel like there is something happening and neither one will let us know. Just remember, you pay for the phone, you can look, read, use, and take it away!
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D.C. answers from Detroit on September 19, 2009
My kids all grew up just fine without cell phones...and so did we. If I was that concerned about the situation they simply would not have one. They would learn to respect normal boundries & behavior before moving up to that.
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N.W. answers from Detroit on September 18, 2009
I don't have teens yets... my oldest is 5...so God only knows what form of communication will be popular when he is a teenager... but I am firm believer that you have the right to read any and all text messages. Take the phone at night and shift through... they are not private, emails are not private. If he wants to have private conversation it should not be in writing. If you don't like METRO pCS...swith phone companies.
I am also a believer that sites such as Facebook and Myspace and twitter should be closely monitored by parents.
Good luck!
S.B. answers from Detroit on September 19, 2009
I'm in total agreement with Deanna. Phone check at any given time...they do not say anything they just hand over the phone. Mine are 14 and 16 boy & girl.
S.R. answers from Detroit on September 19, 2009
I read them. And I've found out things I was shocked by, so although it feels like I'm invading his privacy, he really has to earn the right to it. If he paid for the phone, maybe he could argue that point. He's clever and erases things, I know, but catching it early opened up conversations we never would have started ourselves so I don't regret it. I also insist on being friends with them on MySpace and Facebook. I know his IM isn't available to me, but all in all, they seem to get that nothing is private, really, unless its in their heads.
K.S. answers from Grand Rapids on September 19, 2009
I also agree with the other comments about the phone check, that is an awesome idea. My niece got her daughter a Virgin Mobile and I believe she can monitor but also control how much. I agree that monitoring facebook and the other sites is also a must. Good luck
J.C. answers from Detroit on September 19, 2009
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Be Blessed
J. Croel
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