Housework Question from a Sick Mom

Angela,
Another mother asked about housework and several mothers replied with the website flylady.net. I checked it out and love it. Although, I don't have pain or physical limitations I do work outside the home full-time and so I just don't have much time. I never had a good system to keep up. Now my house is cleaner than I ever had it when I was growing up. I spend an hour once a week. However, she explains how this can be broken into smaller jobs. The rest of the house is kept clean by routines. No extra work and it has spread to my husband and my 4 year old changing their routines too. I find the cutesy language on the website and all the email annoying but if you can get past that it really is life changing. I highly recommend going to the site and reading through her strategies (work only 15 minutes). I think you could modify some of the strategies and it could really be helpful. I hope it helps. Stress about the house is something you don't need (none of us do).

1 mom found this helpful

A.,

Just a thought- could you check your community for home health respite workers? Some communities offer free in home cleaning, errand running, and med. checks to people who have a disabling illness or accident, whether short term or long term. If you have one, you may need your doctor to verify that you have lyme's to get help, but it is well worth it! In my community, they have this service based off of income (sliding fee scale). It may be well worth trying to see if there are any around. Also, if that doesn't work, check to see if you can watch someone's kids for a while in trade for some house cleaning.
C.

Flylady.net recommends 15 mins at a time, she says "you can do anything for 15 mins!" check out her web site for great organizational hints, tips etc! I hope you recooperate quickly!

I second the recomendation for flylady.net. It's really been a great tool for me and my family.

K.

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. You got lots of good suggestions already. I was thinking maybe you could check with your local highschool or college to hire a girl to come and help with some of the light housework and other things. I might cost you less than hiring a cleaning service. Again, perhaps look into the cleaning service and maybe you'd really only need them 2-3 times a week.
Best of Luck

Ask people in your community for recommendations on cleaning services or look in the phone book. Get a free quote from a few cleaning services. Then ask friends and family if they are able to pitch in to hire a cleaning person for a month or two while you are recovering. It would help you to be available for your child but it would also help in your recovery. You need that rest and reserve energy for your body to heal. Many Blessings.
M. P

Can't your husband do some of this housework? It's not like it would be forever. And hire someone to come in once a month to do the hardcore stuff (like pulling out the couch and furniture to clean behind it).

Don't be shy about hiring a house cleaner on a temporary basis. They do a wonderful job, and usually to your stipulations if you want them to sort laundry or put away kitchen stuff, you can just sit and tell them where things go. Most of the house cleaners I know are very economical and WELL worth the price to have a clean home and time to spend on other things.

Good luck!

Hi A.,

I break the work up in the week:
Monday - Kitchen
Tuesday - Pick up & Vacuum
Wednesday - Menu plan, Grocery list, Groceries
Thursday - Bedrooms & Office
Friday - Bathroom & Linen
Saturday & Sunday - Family time

I try to get some work done for each day -- not necessarily the whole thing done each day.

Churches and maybe the United Way office or Americorp office might hve suggestions or volunteers. Boys scouts, girl scouts -- maybe there is a badge that requires community service. Do you have any friends or relatives that might offer to help. Maybe they don't realize you need help.

Hope you feel better soon!
: ) M.

I know the feeling of being busy and not having the energy to do anything. I'ld try to et the whole family to help out. Your preschooler can help by cleaning up his toys, putting his dirty clothes in the hamper, and your husband can help out too. You can shop together and share the household duties. I cook a couple times a week and justt cook 2 different meals at once and make enough for leftovers. It seems like a lot but it is so much easier than actually cooking everyday. I also clean as I go. The bathroom gets wiped down everyday it saves fronm having to do a big scrub down once a week, and I keep a dust rag on every floor so I can do a quick dusting as I put clothes away. As far as laundry goes the kids stay in the same outfit all day even if it gets a little dirty and my son will help put clothes in the machine.
Do you pay your bills online? it can save you lots of time
i hope you feel better soon

A.,

I can sympathize with your dilemma: I am also disabled/chronically ill and have a husband working second shift while I deal with kid issues and housework. (Also, we're poor and one of our kids is autistic.) If you can afford it, paying someone to help you clean would be well-justified. If not, I hope you can convince relatives to pitch in. Make sure that your local school district will put your child in full-day Kindergarten or maybe even preschool next year, depending on his/her age.

Rest every day no matter how the house looks, even if you have to have the kid nap with you; you'll do them no good if you're in the hospital.

Try this: get a pen and paper and walk into each room, looking it over and writing down the five things that most urgently need organizing/cleaning/moving. Take care of those five things and the room may go from hideous to passable. Don't attempt more than one room a day. Also, ask your doctor or shrink (you should have one, as stressed out as you are) whether you'd be eligible for any in-home care, such as a visiting nurse or a home health aide. They'd be focusing on your health, not helping you clean (well, a home health aide might be able to help a little), but the better you're taken care of, the better you can take care of your child.

Good luck, Ang

K.
another sick Mom with a messy house

Your preschooler can be a big help. Putting away toys, piking up dirty clothes for the hamper..things like that. Maybe your husband could take 10 minutes before and after work to give you a hand with the pick up around the house. Loading and unloading the dishwasher (if you have one), throwing in a load of laundry, making the beds, handwashing a sinkful of dishes, etc. Also just relaxing your standards might be really helpful. If you're trying to keep things white glove clean it just might be too much.

The house work will always be there and you will always feel that you cant get on top of it. There has been a lot of good suggestions. Even if you can afford to hire someone once a month you know your bathtub will be scrubbed and ther pressure is off.
Make a game of clean up you lay down sing a song or count and see if your preschooler can get a small task done.Learn the "clean up song" if you don't know it already.
See if your insurance will have housekeeping covered.(that could be pushin it)
Simply don't do it and take care of yourself. You will be no less of a mother, house wife , or a woman.
Feel better

Hi! I just wanted to assure you that I don't have any disease and I can't keep my house clean either, so you are not alone.

I do have a couple of tips that have helped me start to get my house in better shape (I have an almost 3 year old and a 17 mnth old.)

We found a great open bin organizer for all the little toys like cars and little people. The closed bins just created frustration for my littlest. We make it a rule that if you dump it, you pick it up before play time is over. It's part of the activity.

We keep all of the big cars and trucks in a bin as well. That way they can all go home each night instead of tripping us on the way up the stairs.

I usually try to make sure that I empty the dishwasher BEFORE the end of the night, so that in the morning it's empty. Then there is no excuse for me not to just rinse the dish we've used and put it right into the washer rather than letting them pile in the sink.

We also got a little cordless vacuum for the cereal and crumbs that inevitably happen.

Good luck, my friend.

If you are able to swing it at all, maybe have someone come in once every 2-3-or 4 weeks to actually clean bathrooms and heavy vacuuming. Light dusting could be done on days when you feel up to it. I have my preschooler put her toys away before every single meal, before we leave the house, before Dora at night, and then again at bedtime if she took anything out during Dora. I have found this to help tremendously with clutter, and makes it easier to bring a vacuum through a room, or a dust-cloth over the furniture on a moment's notice.

Keep meals easy. Do you have "Dream Dinners" or something like it near you? On a day that you feel well you could go and stock up on meals for a month and then they are in your freezer and ready to re-heat whenever you want them.

See if you can work out the bills with your husband so that that isn't weighing on your mind, too.

This is what I am coming up with right now, if I think of anything else, I'll try to remember to re-post. Good luck--you are in my prayers.

Where to start... its ok to not have a perfect house, you have perfect children!
- Upstairs /downstairs baskets where I collect clutter and empty once a day, or two.
- Speed cleaning... set yourself 45 min.. or 30 min.. each day and clean as much as you can during that time (like you said pick rooms) I normally choose the bathrooms and the beds don't get made.
- One day a week slated to vacumn/sweep/wash floors ( I pick day my husband is home to watch kids without interruption
- Toy pick up. I've been told about toy rotation but I have not done it yet.. I'm forever picking up toys but getting better at making my 5 year old pick up after herself.. Now on MANY occasions I find her "cleaning" her entire toy room by herself.. she now Likes it tidy and it bothers her when its a mess.

The rest.. I let go until they are at least 10... Be ok with your house not being perfect.. its too hard... I truly belive most people who have perfect houses have people hired to help them :.)

Hi A.........My heart goes out to you dear. I don't have this disease but a few of my friends do and I see where it is so dibilitating. Do you attend church and if so how about asking for some help?? That is what the church is suppose to be about. When someone in my church is sick, getting married, funeral etc. we arrange meal for @ least a week to help out.

Blessings to you A., P.

do one job a day and feel no quilt. I bet your husband and children love you and are not rating your housekeeping skills.Maybe on sundays take 2 hours and make three dishes you can cook/reheat for the days you're super tired, like chowders and stews, lasagna, baked ziti, mac and cheese (all these taste better after they sit and flavors meld. then just pick floors one day, bathroom another,and laundry 2 different days. Life is good so don.t get down on yourself about housework and enjoy your family!!! life is too short:)

I didn't have time to read all of the responses, so I apoligize if I repeat other suggestions. Is there a neighborhood teen or tween who could come help you a couple of days a week after school? S/he would love the responsibility, and can basically be asked to do any chore or serve as a Mother's Helper to look after your litte one while you muster up the energy to focus on cleaning and/or dinner. My daughter did this before she got certified to babysit, and it was a great way for her to earn some spending $. If you don't know anyone personally, post an ad with the Middle School guidance counsellor and put one up on community bulletin boards (library, grocery store, local diner, etc.)

To help with the meals, a crockpot can be a life-saver. Fill it with ingredients when you're feeling okay in the morning, plug it in and the meal is ready when you've spent all your energy! Look on-line for recipes, you can make just about anything in a crock pot! Good luck, I hope you'll feel better soon!

Hi A.,
My son was diagnosed with Lyme Disease in May of this year. We treated him with Amoxicillian and with a Homeopathic Nosode for Lyme. What helped his joint pain and swelling before the diagnosis was homeopathic Rhus Tox. (Rhus toxicodendron)You can buy a 30c dose bottle at Whole Foods or a Homeopathic pharmacy. (There's one in Acton, MA.) We used a 200c dose that we got at that pharmacy. They will mail order. My Mom also uses it for her arthritis with good results. Homeopathy does not interfere with conventional medicine and can be taken at the same time. There are no side affects. If it works it works well. If it doesn't work there will just be no signs. No harm will be done. Contact me directly if you'd like more info.

Good luck!

Get some help from someone! You need your rest & need to focus more on your pre-schooler I agree. My neice had Lyme disease so I know the pain you are feeling. But she was little & did not have to worry about house work & what not.
Ask family & friends to help out a little here and there. I know it is hard to ask for help but you need it. Have someone make you beef stew that you can have for a couple of nights or freeze things like that. Use paper plates, ect.
I also agree get the swifter dry dusters & ask your pre-schooler to help. My 21 month old loves to dust, it is so helpful and cute. Hope that helped a little?!!
Hope you are better soon & I will pray for you.

Hello -
If you can only do one thing, then vacuum. Remember the adage "Spit and polish"? A vacummed room will look cleaner. Get those Swiffer dusters and give one to your preschooler. They love to help at that age. Also, de-clutter. Get some storage containers for the toys, stuff animals etc and make-up a game with your child to help you put them away. Take lots of breaks - it will help with your energy level. So what if it takes 2 hours to vacuum one room? Your health is your priority now. Good luck.