N.O. asks from Rowlett, TX on October 12, 2007
Horrible Nightmare About My Son Dying! Can't Get It Out of My Head.......
Hi Moms,
I hope this doesn't sound to silly to post about a nightmare but it's driving me crazy.
We live in a house that is literally right off of Hwy 66 which is a 6 lane road and traffic going 50 miles an hour or more alllll day long.
We also have no front or back fence which my husband says he'll get one put up but he's always working and I'm afraid he'll never find the time.
Since my son has started walking I always have this fear of him accidentally getting out and getting hit by a car.
My nightmare last night was of that actually happening. It was SO horrible and very graphic and every time I see him I think of the dream and can't seem to get it off my mind.
I guess what's scaring me the most is alot of my dreams/nightmares have come true and I just fear that this could be another one.....
I had a dog when I was 16 that I loved with all my heart get hit by a car and die. We also lived off a busy road but nothing like where we live now.
When she died it sent me into a serious depression for over a month. I cried day and night and I know that is another reason I'm so scared about my son.
He's not even 2 yet so he doesn't really understand not to go near the road.
I'm not really sure what I'm trying to get at here but maybe some of you Moms can share some experiences with fears or nightmares you have had with your children so I can calm down a little.
I've been a Mom for over 6 yrs now and never had a dream so bad throughout all of my Mommy years!
It was so bad I feel like the only way to get rid of my fear after this horrible dream is to move!
Any helpful advice will be greatly appreciated.
So What Happened?™
Thank you mamas to all who have responded with sharing your stories with me and helpful ways to secure my home.
I still haven't been able to get the images out of my head yet but hearing some of the other dreams other moms have had about their children (and nothing ever happened to them) had seemed to help me out and hopefully I'll be able to stop thinking about it soon.
After talking to my Hubby more about the getting the fence up as soon as THIS WEEK, he "says" he will so hopefully that will be done very soon.
Thanks again to everyone who's helped me out!
More Answers
S.M. answers from Dallas on May 06, 2008
Natalie,
It is not silly to ask about this nightmare.
Dreams can be God trying to tell us something. Usually that we need to pray about the person in the dream. I think there is no doubt you need to be in prayer. And that you should also do the other things that have already been suggested. (putting an extra lock at the top of the door where your son could not reach, installing a baby gate at the doors, putting up a fence, utilizing an alarm while at home, etc.)
You also need to equip yourself with some scripture to speak over yourself and your son.
Psalm 91:4-5
"4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,..."
I have had my son nearly drown, and nearly die of a terrible allergic reaction mixed with a terrible virus. I know that feeling of fear that can almost choke you. We have to remember that fear is not of the LORD. You cannot allow yourself to become consumed by fear. After you have prayed and taken action to protect your son, cast off your fear. Don't walk in that (fear), because that is an awful way to live.
Here is another verse to help:
1John 4:18
"18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..."
Of course, like others have said, this may be a product of fear that you have due to the dog that you lost in this way and the fact that you are pregnant. I contend that if you pray about the safety of your son, and do the things recommended, and stand on the Word of God, then peace will come to you. You can ask God to take away your fear and replace it with peace of mind, also.
Romans 8:15
"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.[a] And by him we cry, "Abba,[b] Father."
2 Tim 1:7
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
Phil 4:7
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
2 Cor 13:11
"And the God of love and peace will be with you."
Hope this brings you some relief.
~S.
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A.M. answers from Dallas on October 12, 2007
Oh N., what an awful dream! I had one too not that long ago that I forgot I was holding my son in the pool and when I remembered, I looked down and he was floating in the water face first! I woke up making that loud "uhhhhhh" noise you make when you take a deep intake of breath. I felt SICK for days and now feel uneasy about taking him to a pool. Then I had a dream that I was shopping in a huge mall and forgot I had the stroller with me and when I realized it, I couldn't find the stroller with him in it anywhere. In my dream I was running around the mall screaming and crying and I woke up crying. Sometimes dreams are SO terrible.
But the fact that you live on a busy road is definitely reason to worry and the anxiety would certainly cause you to have nightmares. My suggestion is to be overly cautious. Do you have those safety things that go on the door knobs so your son can't open them and go outside without you? Mine(16 mos)just learned how to open the doors and unfortunately we have the knobs that are not round shaped. They are the long ones you pull down so we keep access doors locked at all times. I also insisted my husband install an alarm which sounds off every time a door or window is opened.
Perhaps you can look into installing one of those fences around your front yard...the short picked fence kind. They sell them by the foot and you can position it anyway you need,even just around the front entry doorway area so that if your son should ever learn how to open the door and walk out, he can't get very far.
I would also get a sign to put near the street that says,"please drive with caution,children at play". I have seen them on busy streets in my neighborhood. My husband told me a horrible story about his nephew who sleptwalked at age 4. He sleptwalked all the way out the front door and on to the highway where he was hit by a car. The nephew is now 9 and ok but they were very lucky. You can NEVER be too careful regarding your children so take wahtever measures you need to. Sometimes my husband or sisters joke with me that I am too overprotective but I'd rather be too overprotective than overly laid back and have something terrible happen to my precious baby.
Here are some sites to barriers,gates,and fences I found:
http://www.totsafe.com/proddetail.asp?prod=4700
http://www.safeguardfence.com/?gclid=CLzFubaVio8CFRCTIgod...
http://www.us-fence.com/HTML/fence-vinyl.html
http://www.poolproducts.com/-i-IGF-KAF-5PICKET.htm#GEN5=B...
http://www.poolsupplies.com/cgi-bin/Commerce.exe?key=SD07...
http://www.us-fence.com/HTML/fence-picket.html
1 mom found this helpful
J.H. answers from Dallas on October 13, 2007
Hi N.,
Believe it or not it is pretty common to have nightmares about our children getting hurt. I believe it is because all we do all day long is worry about them and keep them safe. I used to dream that I would walk into the bathroom to find my daughter drowned in the tub. It was so vivid!! Its horrible and it takes a while to get it out of your head. I definitly think you should buy a lock for the top of the door that only you or your husband would be able to reach. This would give you peace of mind!!! Take care!
1 mom found this helpful
T.G. answers from Dallas on October 15, 2007
I would push your husband for the fence or to move. I needs to be a priority for the safety of your son and to ease your anxiety. I understand that he works, but make him find the time if you can. Your husband would never forgive himself if something did happen. He would wish that he had taken the time to do this very important thing. Even if you don't have the money...try to get a Lowe's credit card or something. They have very easy to install, prebuilt sections of fencing in different materials. It would be worth the probably $20-30 month payments to have peace of mind. Good luck.
1 mom found this helpful
J.R. answers from Dallas on October 12, 2007
I don't have any advice about the nightmare but maybe you could put a lock on your doors at the top that only adults can reach or have your husband install one of the door locks that locks from the inside with a key. Maybe this would help you to relax a little and would be a lot less time consuming than installing a new fence. I would still install the fence, I don't think you can ever have enough barriers from dangerous things when you have young kids. Sorry you had such a horrible dream. I'm sure you just dreamed it because it is something you think about and worry about daily.
1 mom found this helpful
A.C. answers from Dallas on October 12, 2007
One thing I hate about dreams is how "real" they feel sometimes, and how even exaggerated they can be in emotion or fear. Of course, this being the biggest priority in a mom's life: the safety of our children, it's not surprising that we have scary dreams sometimes. I do believe that sometimes we have dreams because we have a deep-rooted fear (like because of your dog), but other times, it's just a warning to do something different.
I have had experiences that might sound flaky, but they involved a scary dream, and I did something about it, and recognized a situation in "real" life later and thought WOW I'm so glad!!! I think that for the time being, a safety latch attached to the top of your door would help a lot. Also if you have a simple alarm that just beeps when a door or window opens. A fence for your front yard or if that's too expensive then maybe something cute along your porch that can be closed. Your son is young enough to stay in the backyard when playing right now anyway. But there are other things you can't really plan and prepare for and I would honestly say to just pray for your kids and trust that God will take care of the rest.
Sometimes dreams are just that: stupid horrible dreams that bring up things that bother you: you're upset that the cars drive too fast, you remember your dog, etc. Other times they can be just a warning to tell you to do something: lobby for a speedbump near your home? Start childproofing your home/yard? Educate your children on safety and the danger of playing near the road? Pray for them? I think the combination of all those things can not only protect your children but ease your fears as well.
1 mom found this helpful
S.W. answers from Dallas on October 12, 2007
Ok I hope this helps but I had so many crazy off the wall nightmares when I was pregnant. I gave birth to a cat and all kinds of crazy stuff. I know these arent scary but your body is just going through a lot right now.
I have thoughts like that run through my head every now and then while driving or something like that just seeing something harm my children and it's really scary. It's fear's like this that we all take on as mother's. I can't even watch the news anymore.
My mother owns a dream dictionary which you can also look up similar stuff to this up online but anytime you dream of death it means "birth". I don't know if you ever look into stuff like that but just thought i would throw it out there.
I would also suggest putting child proof door knobs all throughout the house.
I hope you start feeling better I can imagine how scary that would be.
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C.J. answers from Dallas on October 12, 2007
I am so sorry that you had such a horrible dream I can only imagine how it made you feel. My mother always told me that your dreams are trying to tell you something. Anytime you dream of someone dying it means that someone is having a baby. If you fear something in your dreams do something about it. Maybe this is God's way of telling you to extra careful with your children around this street. I know your little boy is to young to understand, but you can do somethings around your house to make you feel more comfortable. My two year old can now open all doors in the house so I always make sure to lock them and double check them all day long. Also you can keep your alarm on so that if he did somehow open the door the alarm would go off and warn you. You could also put up a baby gate outside the front door so if he does open the door the baby gate will stop him from getting out. Another idea is fencing the front yard in so that if he did get out he could not get into the street. I don't really know if that is an option for you, but it would cost a lot less than moving.
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