Homework with a Bad Attitude

I have found that working with a timer helps my 8-year old a lot! We homeschool so all the work is done at home. She can't focus for very long either and would take hours to do one page if I let her!

First I would check and see if there is anything on the page he doesn't understand. I know that with my 8-year old she tends to fiddle with things and want to get up and play if there is something she doesn't understand fully. She might PARTIALLY understand it, but not fully. Definitely check for words he doesn't understand. Usually there's a word on the page she doesn't get, and so she stops at that point and wants to goof off.

Then, I work with a timer a lot. I tell her she has to work for 15 minutes and then she can take a 10 minute break. Knowing she's going to get a break helps her focus. If he has ADHD you might want to drop it to 10 minutes. I usually find that once she's into what she's doing she'll often work past the 15 minutes to just get it done. When I give her a break she's not allowed to watch TV, but she may play dolls, jump around the room to music, color a picture etc. She loves setting the timer herself for both the working and the break.

It sounds like a lot to work for 15 and then take a 10 minute break over and over but she works so much faster and easier when she's allowed to turn her attention away for a little bit. You could even do 5 minute breaks, whatever works. Plus, I tell her "you only have to work for 15 minutes and then you can take a break. You can do that, right?"

We also have a reward system. If she gets her schoolwork done before a certain time she gets a treat (watching a TV program she likes, special dessert, etc.)

I hope that helps!

Also, just as a note please have his diet checked out. Many intelligent kids are misdiagnosed with ADHD when in reality it's just allergies or food intolerances. Perhaps you did this already, but I'd hate to see him medicated if all he needed to do was remove wheat or gluten from his diet!

5 moms found this helpful

C., I am so happy you came to us MAMAS for advice. So, here's my take: Sugar, dyes, different food combinations and even toxins (in the environment and home) can truly make a difference in a child's behavior. But, please also remember that kids are ALIVE and have feelings and spirit and do not deserve to be labeled or medicated. I definitely know from personal experience psych medications do more harm than good and that, in fact, there are many natural solutions that can actually help with what your son is going through.

And, honestly, I'd look into the motivations of whoever labeled him ADHD.

Please call the CITIZENS COMMISSION ON HUMAN RIGHTS (CCHR). Their # is: (323) 467~4242. And, here's their website: http://www.cchrint.org/. They can definitely help you!

I highly recommend contacting Judy Cutler who is truly an amazing Nutritionist and would definitely be able to help your son naturally.

Here's her data:
Bio Tech Solutions
9736 Hillhaven Ave
Tujunga, CA 91042
Phone (818) 353~7454

She definitely can work with you via phone if you live too far away from her office.

In addition, I suggest taking your son to H.E.L.P. (The Hollywood Education and Literacy Project) located here in Hollywood. It is a free program, and what is amazing is that I've seen kids come into this program who have been labeled ADHD and by learning the study technology they offer and getting their diet in order, magically their ADHD symptoms disappear. REALLY! You can definitely call H.E.L.P. for a free tour.

Here's their data:

Hollywood Education Literacy Project International
6336 Hollywood Boulevard
Hollywood CA 90028
###-###-####
http://www.helplearn.org/index-flash.html

They definitely will be able to help your son!

I'd also recommend checking out 5 organizations validating why going the natural route is best for you and your son:
http://ablechild.org/
http://www.cchrint.org/
http://www.fightforkids.org/
http://www.psychsearch.net/teenscreen.html
http://www.labelmesane.com/

And, please watch:

Psych Conflicts:
http://www.psychconflicts.org/

Making A Killing:
http://www.cchr.org/#/videos/making-a-killing-introduction

CCHR: Depression Mental Health Screening Test Puts Kids' Health at Risk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDgBSSSVtrU

CCHR Says Top APA Psychiatrist Needs Lesson in Disease vs. Disorder
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhjdbifuNco

CCHR: The Difference Between Medical Disease & Psychiatric Disorder
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3JQ8OVHVWA

CCHR Antidepressant Drug Spoof: Tripolar disorder
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8eS8BZdC1o

'GENERATION RX' Extended Trailer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xehHwkPpevk

The Psycho Pharmaceutical Industry with Former Pharma Scientist, Shane Ellison
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOT5DSIUTOY&eurl

Dr John Rengen Virapen, Whistleblower of the Psychopathic Pharmaceutical Industry, Speaks Out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QMYFgC_YSo

Psychiatric Drugs & the Brave New World: featuring Jim Marrs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nGZ1T42lk8&eurl

Whistleblower Allen Jones/Mental health screening of kids
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GhBfDMW2Fo&eurl

Fight For Kids: The Candace Downing Story
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Xjx0gdL83I

CCHR PSA: Psychiatric Drugs and Violence
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRJN_NfyiH4

CCHR PSA Warning on Antidepressants/Child Suicides
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgMovNmtRF0&featur...

Why we need a Mental Health Declaration of Human Rights: http://3.ly/arJ Read it here: http://3.ly/BFs

AND

Too many kids on psych meds? Parts 1, 2 & 3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73SRn1gdAdM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcvCtxaiOGg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58UZqr3fiZI

It's vital you watch: "The Drugging of Our Children"
http://tinyurl.com/nrrpw5

I also truly recommend reading "Doped Up and Duped – nearly impossible to find independent studies of psych drugs with no Pharma ties." http://tinyurl.com/mj9494

Please feel free to contact me at: (323) 906~2784 or via e~mail me at ____@____.com.

I'd love to help you and your son however I can.

With love,
L. (MAMA to 2 year old Dylan Orion.......29 September 2007) : )

4 moms found this helpful

Listen to your son, he is right about homework! Take a look at the research. Alfie Kohn has a great book called "The Homework Myth, Why Our Kids Get Too Much of a Bad Thing." Or check out a new documentary called "Race to Nowhere, the Dark Side of America's Achievement Culture," which is more about older kids, but still relevant.

That said, public schools are often behind the times (private schools often don't give homework until the upper grades). Help him to come up with a plan of a reasonable about of time to spend on the homework he gets....even the school probably has a policy on this, maybe 20 minutes for 2nd grade, or 30 for 3rd grade. Pick a time, set a timer, when it is over, he is done, even if the work isn't done. Let the school know you want to make a change, and ask them to help you so he isn't so stressed out. I am sure no teacher would want him losing sleep and playtime on homework. Work with them to help your son and let him know you are on his side. Even teenagers can be delightful when they know you are on the same side.

4 moms found this helpful

My 8 year old brother had ADHD and they gave him gel type seat to sit on , and it allowed him to move the bottom half of his body while keeping the top of his body more still. He liked it, but I really dont remember how much it helped, I just know it was a method used by my mother and the teachers

3 moms found this helpful

Hi C.,

First of all, your son acts like a very normal kid of his age to me. Homework is boring, it is...and we both know it. Some kids love to learn new things and others are not motivated until they mature a little bit more. Try to find a time when he will have a better "mood" to do his homework; some kids are OK by doing homework as soon as they get from school and other do a really great job before going to bed, probably your kids needs a little time for himself and relax. I used to do that with my kid when he attends school and it worked. I used to let him have a nutritious snack and play a little bit before doing homework and never ever had a battle again. Be patient and make the same time and place every single day for your kid and his homework. Remember the kids have been the whoooole morning making efforts to be good calm and still to satisfy teachers and schools' expectations, and believe me that is REALLY exhausting for some kids. So, try to let him choose that time and that place to do his homework every day, but with the promise he will cooperate and he won't give you the "homework battle". Reward him and prize him as soon as you see a change.
Good luck!!!
A.

3 moms found this helpful

I'm with RN L. Four to six pages of homework for a second or third-grader is probably not reasonable. Doing homework from the time he gets home to bedtime is definitely not reasonable. This is a little 8yo boy, with an attention deficit to deal with, no less! He's not likely to be gaining much from such a grind, beyond a conviction that learning is no fun. He needs time after school to move, to stretch, to excercise, to burn off energy, to have fun.

It's possible that so much work is assigned outside the classroom because class time is too limited or disruptive. If too many kids are too out of control to allow for quality class time, that could be because expectations are unrealistic – for the class size, for the teacher's ability, for the age, behavioral or ability levels of the students.

My husband and I are educators; we've been producing kid-friendly science and math materials for the last 30 years. We recognize that a desire to learn is natural, stimulating, satisfying and fun, and unfortunately in some schools, this understanding is undervalued and unsupported.

Talk to his teacher about what you think your son reasonably needs. Be his advocate. If he's overwhelmed by too much of a "good" thing, it becomes a bad thing. That won't make his school day go any better, either.

3 moms found this helpful

I second the exercise/stability ball. I work in education and have seen this used very successfully. Most people will think that he is going to bounce off the walls with it, but that normally doesn't happen. It's amazing to watch the calmness wash over them!

My other recommendations is to break up the homework packet and give it to him one page at a time. Seeing a huge stack of papers is very intimidating and if you hand him just one, it looks less overwhelming. Have him keep a tally of how many he has completed.

Use a timer. After giving him a sheet, tell him that you want, say, four problems completed in 10 minutes and see if he can beat the timer. If he doesn't, don't make a big deal, just give him a few more minutes.

Take breaks (again, use the timer!), give him a five minute break for every page he completes. Don't make the breaks too long or you may never get him back!

Finally, keep him organized. We have a rolling cart on wheels in our kitchen area (not attractive, but it gets the job done), and everything you could possibly need is there for homework - extra pencils, paper, markers, dictionary, thesaurus, it's stocked. No more wasting time looking for supplies!

Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful

Here in Austin there is a young teacher that has taken out the standard chairs from her classroom, instead her students use exercise balls. She has seen a huge improvement on their concentration. I am trying to find the article about her, I will add it as soon as I can locate it.. Here is another article I found online about this..

My husband is ADHD (you do not grow out of it) and he has to have activity, before he can really sit for any length of time. He thinks the exercise ball would have been great when he was in school.

http://www.modernmom.com/article-4627-using-exercise-ball...

I still cannot find the original article, But this one talks about a grant for teacher that may be interested in trying the balls. It also mentions the kids are given the option of using the ball.
http://www.thenewsjournal.net/details.cfm?id=3210

2 moms found this helpful

Seems like a lot of homework for an 8 year old. Maybe you can get this modified. It just seems like way to many pages. I would ask for a meeting and discuss this with his teacher.

2 moms found this helpful

I am a retired special needs school teacher. I now work with families of special needs kids out side of the school system to truly help. Schools and the medical industry push to medicate children so they will "fit in the system". I teach parents how to "feed their family" so that the family "fits into life".

Did you know some of the most famous people on the planet are/were ADD? Ansel Adams, photographer; Alexander Graham Bell, inventor or the telephone; Hans Christian Anderson, author; Beethoven; Terry Bradshaw, foot ball quarterback; Jim Carrey, Actor; Prince Charles; Cher; Agatha Christie; Salvador Dali, Leonardo da Vinci; Walt Disney; Henry Ford; Magic Johnson, JFK; John D Rockefeller; even Albert Einstein…I could go on…

Can you imagine what may have happened to them if their parents decided to medicate them? Would they be who they are today?

Please educate, don’t medicate.

Here is what some moms who are working with me are saying:

Kim, Mom of Amber, 6, Garret, 10, & Shelby, 15
“After struggling in school for two years with not being able to focus and regulate his behaviour, my son, Garret, after 8 weeks on Barbilee’s nutritional program, is a new boy. Normally, he would have at least one incident a day and sometimes multiple! His school said I should put him on a popular “doctor recommended medicinal program” to help maintain his focus. I chose food instead. He is able to focus and moderate his own energy so he can get the most out of his studies and relationships at school. We have noticed the change at home also. Our WHOLE FAMILY now has an nutrition shake in the morning as our step toward our optimal health!”

Angela, Mom of Jacob age 6 and Nyah, age 2.
My son was heading down a very BAD road in school. He was RARELY focused, always "fidgety," becoming increasingly defiant and displayed a behavior problem. Finally I decided to follow Barbilee’s advice and seriously take a look at his diet. I changed one thing, just ONE THING and in three days here are the results. By Monday his teacher reported an EXCELLENT day with him! Tuesday = AWESOME DAY. Wednesday = amazed look on her face = GREAT DAY!!! By the end of the week, he had had the best week in school he'd ever had! I have known for months that I needed to do something but I didn’t know what. When B. offered us a simple easy breakfast fix, I was in. Since we started with B. school and home has become an awesome experience for him rather than a drudgery.

Also, my little girl was born with special needs and has always been pretty much "in her own world." She rarely paid attention to anyone around her. She would never interact with others. She would tire easily and constantly take "cat naps." Once I started giving her a shake every day the difference was night and day. Her aide reports that she pays attention to the other kids at school and even LAUGHS at them!! She's focused on the activities (NEVER BEFORE!!), and she's engaging in activities that I never thought she'd be able to do. AND she can go all afternoon WITHOUT A NAP!! In other words, she's wonderful!

C., DO NOT FIGHT WITH HIM. Work with him.

If you want some personal answers, just fire me off an email. Let me help your family.

B.
Family Success Coach

2 moms found this helpful

I have the same problem with my son and he's not even ADHD. We had him put in GATE and it made a huge difference because it becomes a challenge instead of boring.

I also asked the Teacher to let him do HW during any down time at school. He is way ahead in the computer lab so now he does his HW instead. During HW right after school at the lunch benches keeps him in that "school" mindset instead of coming home, playing, and then having to focus again.

I have also talked to his teacher about only making him do the HW in areas he actually needs the help. He consistently gets 90-100% on spelling tests so we eliminated his spelling worksheets. He needs more work on story problems so he does another page of those but doesn't do the math facts pages that he hates!

I have to warn you that it has taken until the 4th grade to get a teacher that will work with me. His other teachers felt it was too much work for them to do anything different for him. One actually told me no, she didn't want to put forth that much effort on one child. With his diagnosis you might have more weight to throw around.
Good Luck!

2 moms found this helpful

Seems like they give him too much homework. I go through the same thing with my son.They now give him less homework which has made a difference. The teachers know his limits and they make sure he does work in class so he doe'snt have to bring it all home. If your son has a IEP they should be working a plan for him.

2 moms found this helpful

I would talk to the teacher. It may just be too much work for him. My son reads for 15 min every night and does 15-20 min of written work depending on the assignment. I would say at 8 years old 30-40 mins including some reading time is pushing it. They are at school focusing all day long. They really do need to blow off some steam when they get home. I spent so much time stressing and pressuring my little guy to put out perfect homework and get everything right. Then I decided to chill out and if it's not perfect then oh well, there are board games to be played and snuggling to be done. I think the teacher would feel the same way. it is just too much for him, and kids are all different.

2 moms found this helpful

Wow! Sounds like my daughter and the way she used to be! It sounds like you need to adjust his medication, it's worn off by the time he's doing his homework. Talk to his teacher and see if he/she has noticed a trend in class of time when he starts not being able to sit still or maybe becomes a bit disruptive. My daughter is on Concerta and it lasts 12 hours (or is supposed to, at least). When she is using an optimal doseage, her homework is finished in an hour to an hour and a half. She's in 6th grade. When she was 8, her homework was not meant to take longer than an hour. She would take hours (get home at 4 and maybe be finished by 6:30 to 7), after that point, she just had to take the consequences of not having her homework finished because she needed to eat dinner and get ready for bed. She was not diagnosed at this point and it was just awful every single day trying to get her homework done. Now that she's diagnosed, one of the easiest ways for me to tell that it's time to adjust her medication, is how long it takes her to get her homework done. You need to talk to your Dr, I know that if needed he can prescribe something to help out with just the afternoons for you or maybe your son just needs a different doseage of what he currently takes that will last as long as it is intended to.

My daughter has been diagnosed for 2 years now and we have just with in the last couple of months figured out the correct doseage for her. We aren't fighting about homework, she volunteers to help around the house and actually finishes what she volunteered to do (she would volunteer before, but would help for a few min and stop or complain endlessly and I would have to force her to finish), her attitude is soooo much nicer (she no longer does things on purpose to get to me and is much more respectful of my feelings), overall I am so happy for her (and me!) that she is now able to focus and get her stuff done and that she still has time left to be a kid and go play or watch tv.
Also, just on case you don't know a few of the basics...during homework time, keep the tv off and make sure he's facing a wall or something just as uninteresting, no radio or any other sounds that he can distract himself with, make sure there is nothing around him that he can play with or use to distract himself with. My daughter used to purposely drop her pencil, just to distract herself (over and over agin). You probably know all of this, but just in case you didn't. =o)

Once your son is working at his optimal level, you will BOTH be so much happier and less stressed!

Best of luck!

R.

Updated

Hey C.,

Just read all of your other responses. In the first article about using the balls in classrooms, it mentions the book "Driven to Distraction" by Dr. John Ratey. I have read three of his books and they are excellent in helping you to understand how ADHD works and gives you ideas on how to help your son. I was trying to think of his name while I was writing my other response to you, so it's kind of funny it was in that article. :-D Anyways, if you read only one of his books, it will be helpful, just make sure it's his latest book as it has the most up to date info in it. If you read one from earlier he won't have any info on the newer meds because they weren't out yet.

Take care!

R.

2 moms found this helpful

I know exactly how u feel. I have an 8yr old son who is ADHA and Dislexic.I have an 11 yr old daughter who is ADHD. I get told the same thing ur son says by both and it takes an act of congress so to speak to get it done. I have went as far as telling my daughter and son that they have 2hrs to get home work done. We live in Point Loma in San Diego California. Here my kids get out at 2pm and then we go home and we start the battle of homework wars. I do a time limit because I know if I dont then we will still be at the table at 11 pm at night. We do homework then chores get done satarting at 5pm. Then we do bath time by 6pm bed at 8pm. Inbetween this now we have martail arts class to help them with self control, listening ,cooping, behavioral and other things.this is 3 to 4 days out of the week from 30 mins to an hour. My son is starting to understand what he needs to be doing. My 11 yr old is the worst right now her ADHD is so strong that she has been on like 8 different meds since she was 4yrs old. HEr body builds up an immune system to the meds that it doesnt work . right now we are dealing without meds do to lack of insurance. But I can tell you this even with taken meds twice a day it is still hard for them because they havre sat all day in school except during recess and maybe gym and they dont get to run the energy off like they need. So in the end we as moms and dads end up with the homework wars thats what I call them now after 7yrs of battleing. We do the best we can and we give the meds but it still isnt enough and those who dont have this in their home dont understand. I am battleing with my kids school because they are not provieing the help m yu kids need at school to be able to learn and pass to the next grade level. I give you this if you havent doen the time limit with homework and other daily routines give it a shot. like I said I give 2hrs from the time they get home which is about 2:15pm to get homework done if not they either get up earlier the next day or they miss out on recess at school till homework is done. Now that they ar ein martail arts they also lose their belts if they cant comply with rules at home or school Or if they miss behavie and that might be sommething to look into . finding something he likes to do and try to use that as levaarge to get him to comply with what u set as a rule or goal for doing homework.

V. H.

1 mom found this helpful

I have a 9 year old who has ants in his pants all the time. Sometimes it helps to give him a little play time before doing homework. At school they get 2 recesses... it's tough for them to then come home and sit right down to do homework. And sometimes bits get done in the morning before going to school. I think the easier we make it for kids... they'll do their homework and won't have a bad taste for it when they get older!!

1 mom found this helpful

I have an 8 year old who is considered Special Ed. since he has language/learning delays, but his biggest obstacle is also ADHD and he has a hard time concentrating and attending both at school and at home. Is your child Special Ed. with an IEP? If so, he can have "accommodations" such as reduced homework load. My son is in a regular second grade class with an aide and performs at grade level, completes all his work and does well on tests. At homework time he needs to be monitored since he will tune out or otherwise also argue and refuse to do homework. Since I've dealt with this for years, since he was a toddler, I want to be sensitive and minimize homework time since NO CHILD THAT AGE SHOULD BE DOING HOMEWORK MORE THAN AN HOUR, by all experts I've spoken to including his own teacher. So, I have him do what he can/is willing and take frequent breaks: for instance work for 10-15 minutes, play 5 and work for for 10 and so on. I have rewards also like computer time that he gets daily when he is finished. But I NEVER have homework dragged out throughout the afternoon until bedtime. That's the WORST thing you can do and will definitely help him hate school and hate homework. You need to specify a period of time, like 1-1.5 hour from 3-4:30 every day and have him do the best he can with frequent breaks, activities at break time to motivate him and that’s it, at 4:30 p.m., he’ done and should be able to play, enjoy being a kid. If he knows that he will be done at a certain time, he may be more motivated to work as my son is at times. If he is not, hopefully you can find some activities/T.V show/snacks that motivate him that he can get at breaks after a segment of 10-15 minutes of work. Hope that helps!

1 mom found this helpful

I will be quick since you have alot of responses and I didnt read thru them so if this is a repeat, im sorry. my daughter is 9 and on concerta for ADD. we had to adjust her meds for the same reason. it wore off by the time she got home. She has a routine/schedule on her door and it works...keeps her focused. talk to the doctor about adjusting the meds, make sure he has a snack when he gets home from school for a little fuel. she loves the goal chart on her door, helps her focus and has a feeling of purpose and responsibility. it has everything from brush your teeth to chores. including any appointments she may have. good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Benn there, done that! My son is now 22 and it was difficult. He takes Adderall and Paxil which helps bunches. The Adderall helps with the focus and he takes one in the morning and one-half after school to keep him focused with homework. The Paxil keeps his mood even as with the ADD they can have a quick temper mostly due to frustration. If it helps, I can tell you that intelligence is actually very common in ADD kids. My son is a GATE student with extreme intelligence. One example of this is he was a "C" average student in high school because he could ace his tests, but trying to get all his homework done was hell. He was even awarded a Golden Merit Diploma for being in the top 3 percent statewide with his STAR testing (only a couple of people got them). He still struggles with college as he hates homework to this day!

The only practical help was my mom would sit down with him and literally work side-by-side with him to get his homework done. The one-on-one seemed to keep him focused. She would read a paragraph then he would read one to keep him in the book. The neurologist who diagnosed him said that routine was key in keeping them on task. No playing before homework. Snack and then straight to work.

The good news is my son is a productive, hard-working computer geek nowdays. He makes more than I did when I worked in an office! That super intelligence will hopefully pay off in the long run. If there is anything I can specifically help with, just let me know and I will try.

J.
____@____.com

1 mom found this helpful

Hello, I have gone through the same thing with some of my kids (all now grown) and now with one of my grandsons. He was placed in the G.A.T.E. program and so clearly he can do the work. He also wants to do anything except homework. I let him have a break after school when he spends the night here. He lived with us for three years when he was younger and so he knows that we make the decisions and he doesn't argue with me or my husband. Anyway, he knows that by 8:00 p.m. he needs to be done with dinner, homework, shower and teeth. If he doesn't, then the program he loves to watch won't be turned on. He gets it done. As far as mimicking you, don't allow it. It can only get worse if not stopped. Just send him to his room and don't give him the privilege of watching you react. He'll get the message. Also, try talking to his teacher and ask how she/he feels about you turning it over to him. If it isn't done the next day, he might have consequences at school.
Good luck with your precious son.
K. K.

1 mom found this helpful

Whoever the dr is that gave you the meds....... I would concult with him as to what is going on at home. He may need more at home or stronger during the day or their may be something else that he can do. Never hurts to discuss problems like that with the doc.

1 mom found this helpful

Try rewards if you get your homework in x ammount of time he gets something you decade to give him afer a while he will get the idea good luck raised 4 and now have 7 grandchildren ad no hills

Updated

TRY REWARDS IF YOU GET YOUR HOMEWORK IN X AMMOUNT OF TIME HE GETS SOMETHING YOU DECADE TO GIVE HIM AFER A WHILE HE WILL GET THE IDEA GOOD LUCK RAISED 4 AND NOW HAVE 7 GRANDCHILDREN AD NO HILLS

1 mom found this helpful

I know you received a lot of responses but I just wanted to add that this sounds very similar to our situation ADHD/ODD/ on medication. Although, the medication stays in my sons system until about 6pm so his focus is still strong when he gets home from school and we no longer struggle with homework issues. I would suggest you discuss these issues with the psychiatrist to see if possibly another 'small' dose of meds would be beneficial after school or possibly switching up his meds to something different. Good luck to you!

1 mom found this helpful