M.S. asks from Buffalo Grove, IL on October 22, 2008
My daughter is second grade and has get daily homework and book reports. Several times lately she has insisted that her answer or way of doing something is right, and we know that it is not the correct answer. She will flat out refuse to change her answer. Last night, while working on her monthly book report she insisted that the setting of the story was were the book begins. We knew that what she had written down was the wrong answer, but she refused to change it. What do you do in this situation? We let her keep her answer, even though we knew it was wrong. I did not want to get into a huge fight with her. She enjoys doing her homework and do not want it to turn into a big struggle. We also want her to learn the correct information. Help!!!
J.P. answers from Chicago on October 22, 2008
Well if she is anything like my daughter when it comes to homework, then she is probably stubborn and sensitive. My daughter will get sensitive and defensive as to why her way is the right way. She is also a perfectionist with her work, so she will want to erase a letter 2 or 3 times before she thinks it's printed just right.
Anyway... here my idea has two steps regarding of the incident you describe about the setting.
1.) Explain to her how the setting can sometimes be a tricky thing to figure out, and ackowledge her answer. (In a nice, reassuring tone in your voice.) Yet, explain how the setting actually takes place in ...........
Did you happen to say something like this...
"your" answer is wrong..... and "my" answer is correct because....... (I am not saying you are presenting it this way...jsut trying to figure out why she is getting stubborn about getting something wrong) Using the words "your" and "my" will probably get her upset and she may become stubborn about the whole homework assignment. Try saying..."Oh I can SEE where you might think the setting place in the (fill in the blank), but let's read over here again and think about this some more. Reassure her that she is not the first person to misunderstand something. (It helps my kids, when I give examples of my former students and the struggles they had, too.)
2.) If she still does not want to change her answer, let her put her answers. Her teacher will grade and return it. Some teachers will not write the correct answers, they simply write.... please correct and return. Your daughter may need this to happen once or twice before trusting you that you may know a bit more than she does:) You could also send a note attached to her assignment, when she does not want to change her answers. In the note explain that you did check her homework and that your daughter insisted that she was right.
Just a note.... as a former teacher, I do know that some of the terminolgy in school has changed. So be careful on what you tell her is right even though she is only in second grade. Here are some examples on how little ones are taught now.
**In math you don't say... "I am going to borrow from the tens column so that I can subtract from my first column. This would really confuse a young child nowadays! Instead you say...."We need to trade one ten for ten ones so that we can subtract from our ones column.
**In language... what used to be refered to as a subject in a sentence is now called the naming part of the sentence.
**In language... students used to be told to write a question and now they are told to write an asking sentence.
Just some examples of how terminology is changing and that can cause some confusion with helping children do their homework. (I know this is not the case with your specific example, though.)
I hope this will help you in the future. If your daughter continues to have trouble in a specific area, maybe you could ask your child's teacher for some extra worksheets that concentrate on that particular skill. (Without letting your daughter know that you requested additional work.)
1 mom found this helpful
B.K. answers from Chicago on October 22, 2008
Been there done that. Let the teacher tell her she's wrong. Somehow it works better that way. They never want to listen to their parents. If she enjoys her homework I would say that's a great thing. And she will learn the correct information when the teacher corrects her.
A.Z. answers from Chicago on October 22, 2008
I think that you have to let your daughter turn in her homework and face the consequences of getting a bad grade. I bet it will only take her one time and she will start listening. That is what I did with my twins that are in second grade. They are more concerned about making the teacher happy than me at times, so it proved more beneficial for me to let them get a few questions wrong b/c they think that they have it all figured out. They learned very quickly that if I dont know the answer to something I will not pretend to. Maybe try a different approach with her too. I am not sure how you are telling her things are incorrect, but think if there is some other way to say it. She may be frustrated and that is her defense instead of telling you that she is right and you are wrong. Good luck!
S.S. answers from Chicago on October 23, 2008
I teach second grade and here's what I would do..
1. Let her continue to do it her way.
2. send a note to the teacher explaining what is going and why her work is incorrect
Maybe if the teacher tells her, she will do it the right way. If you don't want to send a note, I'm sure you ahve parent teacher conferences coming up, so you can talk to her then. Good lucl!
L.C. answers from Chicago on October 23, 2008
I have been a kindergarten teacher...my advice would be to let her keep her answers and let the teacher know what is going on. she will listen to her before she listens to you and the teacher can spend some time with her one on one to correct the problem. the teacher also needs to teach her the little things if she is not understanding and that is why she is writing the wrong answer.
N.P. answers from Chicago on October 25, 2008
your job is to make sure the homework is done, not to make sure it is correct. If you correct it then the teacher has no way of knowing that your daughter doesn't understand setting.
If you have a worksheet that is frustrating your child, or your child just doesn't understand how to do it, then write a note to the teacher telling the teacher that. Then the teacher knows to reteach a lesson.