Homeschooling - Harrison, AR

I am a psychologist who's been homeschooling for 8 years. I do not have a child with autism, but I have a friend who's homeschooled her autistic child for many years. For her, homeschooling was a matter of necessity. Her son simply couldn't cope with the school environment. If your son is doing well in preschool, he may do well in school.

You obviously are a concerned and involved parent and whatever you decide to do, now or in the future, will be in your son's best interests. Do remember that homeschooling isn't a one-time opportunity. If he goes to school and it isn't working, you can homeschool and vice versa.

I will say that much of what has been written here is just patently false about homeschooling. The research (and not just parents' claims) clearly shows that homeschoolers outscore their public schooled peers academically. They also have the highest self-esteem of any group. As far as social skills, what skills are we discussing? The ability to follow the crowd and backtalk the teacher? What about completely disrespecting parents? These are social skills I hope my children fail to master. If we are going to use specific instances of failure to impugn homeschooling, let us use the same standards with public and even private schools. Despite more money being put into education, achievement continues to decline.

A homeschooler wrote recently to say that if as products of a public school system we are not qualified to teach our children the most elementary of subjects, why on earth should we educate our children via the public school system? So they can be similarly unqualified? As for the woman who hated being homeschooled, I wonder if you would have fared any better in a public school? I agree with Oliver DeMille that all education is self-education. If you weren't motivated to learn at home, you probably wouldn't have learned anywhere.

3 moms found this helpful

I am a hs mom of an 8 yr old girl and boys 4 and 10 months. Home schooling needs to be a calling, which it definately is for us. I know the fear of failing!! It's a huge, though not impossible burden to bear. I commend you for even considering it with autism. You are absolutely right--not one single person cares for your son as you do. The Lord has given you exactly what you need to me his mommy, and should He call you to hs, his teacher, too.
As far as the socialization goes, a home schooled friend of mine shed some very interesting light on that subject for me several years ago, before I was even pregnant with our oldest. The first time i met her, knowing she'd been home schooled, I asked her, "What would you say is the best thing you've gotten from being home schooled?" She immediately said "Definetly social skills!" Since I was quite stunned, she went on to explain that public school children are taught to interact with people who are there same age, and for the most part, same ability level. "Since I had an older and younger sister," she said, "I had to learn to get along and interact with them and their friends, as well as my parents and their adult friends."
That made so much sense to me!! Think about your life and all the people you have to interact with. Are they all 29? Certainly not. What a great lesson to learn and practice from a young age!!
Another thought, so many people think that all homeschoolers are backwards. True, there are a good number of them that are, but there is certainly a huge number that aren't. Do you know any public schooled children/families that are different? Absolutely. More than likely, if the parents are backwards, kids will be also; home schooled or public schooled.
Just something to think about. Good luck with your decision.

2 moms found this helpful

I have worked with families in the Court system for 7 years and I am skeptical of home schooling. Now, before I get bombarded with nasty emails, I want to say- there are some people who can do it. However, I've seen a lot of children who are severely socially and academically behind due to home schooling and their well-intentioned parents always seem to have the belief that their children are so advanced and "exceptional".
If you want to do it, I would recommend you do it within a home schooling "community" rather than alone. I have a Masters degree and there is no way I could provide my son (or any other child) the education they deserve. I have no advanced or specialized training in algebra, chemistry, biology, geography, world history, American History, etc. Children deserve to have that in their education.
I have a coworker that actually does have a positive home schooling experience for his children. They are part of a home schooling "community". His wife happens to have a degree in math. So, she teaches math to their children and approximately 15 other home schooled children. Another parent may have an English degree, and they teach English, another parent with specialization in another subject, teaches that subject and so on. The children have the socialization of other kids but the care that you are desiring from home schooling. I don't know if you would be interested in this or not but if you are, you may want to check it out either on the internet or with your local school system to see if their is an organization like this near you.

1 mom found this helpful

One key thing to evaluate is this: do you have the dedication and time required to homeschool? Do you get stressed easily? How do you cope with the stress? These are all questions you need to seriously ask yourself. Then, if you feel you can handle it, GO FOR IT! No one knows your child as good as you do. It will be a little overwhelming at first, but it does get better. There is tons of support out there to be found. Another key point I would like to make, you do not HAVE to take your child to a public school for speech therapy. My son went to the hospital for his. Its under outpatient services. You really do not have to rely on the public school system for anything unless you wish to do so. Plus, there are places out there that will work around YOUR schedule, within reason of course.

Another thing I would like to say is, socialization is NOT just a public school thing. They get socialization everywhere they go. When they go to speech, they are socializing with another adult. When they go out to anywhere, they are socializing. There is just so much out there that socialization just really is not an issue anymore. Plus, there is a lot less negative socialization to be had when you homeschool. Public school kids (not all mind you) tend to be less accepting of a special needs child and they tend to have an overall negative impact on them. Again, this is my opinion from my own experiences.

I hope this helps and good luck!

don't let anyone tell you if you homeschool your son, he won't have any social skills. It's your responsibility, along with your son's education, to make sure he has social interactions. I homeschool my children, they are 3 and 5. They were adopted by us and have some emotional special needs. I know for *us*, it was the best choice. No one knows my children better than my husband and I and with all of the issues, I know there just isn't a teacher out there that can and will put in enough effort to overcome and handle these issues properly. Getting started homeschooling is kind of confusing and scary, and when you add a special needs child into it, it's even more so. I believe you can do it. You are not the only homeschooling parent of a special needs child..and there are TONS of websites out there with others and tips with homeschooling an autistic child. You can also look into his health coverage..some health insurances will provide special needs services like physical therapy or speach if it's at a hospital, you dont' necessarily have to have it at a school.
I encourage you to homeschool. Having special needs kids, I know how you're feeling..I had the same fears..but there are ways to handle the different concerns you have. Make sure you find a good support group and join a co-op too. Midwest parent educators is one in Kansas.
There are people out there that "homeschool" and shouldn't. I have known some families that call counting money their kids math lesson for the day..and the kid's 16! It's up to you. There are TONS of curriculums (ABEKA is my favorite) that is accredidated and actually has you send your son's work in. ABeka also has DVD's of the teacher teaching the class like Algebra and Chemistry and things. It's not impossible..like I said, you just have to find the way and be determined. I hope this is of some help...and it's very hard not to comment on the negative comments :) I'm such an advocate of it..as long as it's done right..if it's not, then you have those other issues to deal with.
Good luck!
C.

I was home schooled my whole life - 5th grade. I disrespect to my mother but I wish I hadnt been home schooled. I felt like I was behind in school so once I was 18 I had to study extra hard so I could take classes and not be completely lost. My mom did what she could but she isnt a teacher so there is no way she could help me with everything.
Also I had no friends and for the longest time didnt know how to make friends unless it was other home schooled kids. I also had no peer pressure. I know that is a big reason why allot of parents want to home school but I had no chance to express myself or to choose for myself right from wrong. so once I turned 18 and had to work I didnt know how to deal with peer pressure so I went along with most of it b/c I wanted friends. But anyway not to make it sound soo bad but I'm also dislexic and my mother didnt have the skills or training to give me the help I needed. so for me, no home schooling is not something I'm going to do with my daughter.

There's a good book about homeschooling children with disabilities. I can't think of the title, but you could look at your local bookstore or library. It will help you make your decision.

Parents have been very successful at homeschooling children with disabilities. The kids often do much better than they would at public school.

We are in our 12th year of homeschooling. My youngest is severely dyslexic, and I know homeschooling has been best for him. I don't know much about autism, but the limited social engagements you would be able to provide homeschooling, instead of being around kids all the time, might be better for him?

Best wishes to you.

I am a special education teacher in a public school. Just think about this --your child cannot improve his social skills without being in a social setting. If you choose to homeschool then you need to intentionally plan for structured social settings for your child to practice his social skills and you will need to directly instruct him in social skills.

If he is doing well in a pre-k setting why not give Kindergarten a try? Stay in good communication with the teacher and ask for other help for your child. You know him better than anyone else.

Google Mid West Christian Academy - They are a school that creates curriculum fo ryou to teach your child at home & and it is very affordable.
Or google homeschool and all kinds of information is out there.

Good Luck !

Homeschooling is the best thing I have ever done with my children. Despite what's been said here, each of my girls are exceptionally bright and it's not my own imagination. We allowed our girls to start school at the same time when they were 11, 14 and 17 years of age. The oldest 2 girls did fantastic in school both academically and socially. They graduated with honors and the top of their class. They are both in college and doing well and working their way through college as well.

My 3rd daughter was the youngest that started public school and she has been the most influenced by the public schools and the diversity of kids and teachers. Her attitude stinks. Her grades are ok, just ok. She would have done much better if we had kept her home longer. She does like school. She just never developed the self-direction that most homeschool kids do.

My youngest has completed the 2nd grade and half of 3rd in most subjects and is finishing the 2nd grade math when this would be the middle of her first grade year if she was in school.

With the older girls we hired college age tutors for math when we needed it. It was just that easy and no big deal at all.

I don't know what to say about the autism. I'm not sure if you are playing by the same rules so to speak. I think it depends on how comfortable you are with autism and if you are prepared to try all new types of ways to work with your son until you find the right curriculums and schedules for him.

S.

Hey T.! :) ... a long response - sorry

Bless your heart - this is a big decision indeed. One that I'm going through myself.

My son just turned 5 & will be able to enroll in Kindergarten this fall. After much research & prayerful consideration, I'm leaning more toward home school (I have decided yet) But with homeschool I feel that I can best shape my child's character in a Godly fashion rather than leaving that up to the public school system where he would be influenced by all manner of things. (we can't afford private school) As far as his socialization, he gets interaction with other kids in our neighborhood & at our church. We have many home school families in our church who are very supportive. (Nall Ave. Bapt. Church in Prairie Village, KS) A homeschool support group is VERY IMPORTANT for the sucess of homeschooling any child. There are many groups to be a part of in KC. You just have to look for them. :)

I see your dilema - from what you've said - your son seems to be enjoying his pre-k setting & doing well there. That counts for alot. You might think about blending home school with a place that would let him continue to come 2 days a week or something. I'm not sure if this is an option for school-aged kids but you could check into it.

I'm sure there are different demands placed upon you with your son being autistic. Homeschooling may be what helps him most. Like you, I too have questioned my ability to properly home school my son. I feel his education is very important & perhaps someone with more experience could do a better job. But his early molding & shaping of his character is also very important to me. (there will always be time for education but if you miss out on properly shaping your child, that could have repercussions for yrs. to come) If we choose to homeschool I feel that for us it is something that will be done through his elementary years.

I will just take ONE YEAR at a time. That's all I can do. I will get through kindergarten at home then evaluate our progress to see if home school is something that we should continue. Better to try homeschooling first & then sending him to public school than vice versa - better on the child. Maybe this strategy might work well for you too.

Here's some info. I found for myself that may be helpful to you ...

I've looked into VIRTUAL HOMESCHOOL - visit http://www.connectionsacademy.com/ - it's FREE online school at home -- this is something that I'm also considering.

Also, I've looked into a Christian based online homeschool but it's not free. There is tuition costs of roughly $200/month but it covers everything! It's cheaper than private school ... for more info. about this curriculum visit -- http://www.thesouthernbaptistacademy.org/?ac=seppcg

Here's a # for FREE homeschooling counseling (1-800-607-1107)

I hope somehow this has helped you. I'm sorry I'm not able to help more. But feel free to contact me with any more questions or if you just want to talk about it.

Have a wonderful day & the best wishes for your child's education in whatever way you decide is best for him ... and you! :)

YOU GO GIRL!!

Thanks for asking. I am also in a quandry as to homeschool or not. but, I feel much better after reading the responses here. I definitely plan to check out the websites and have also heard great things about Abeka.
As far as Dad is concerned, I have heard another homeschooler mention dad stepping in as "the Principal". But maybe someone with more experience could comment on that.
Without his support,at least,it could be much worse or feel like an impossible task.
I am rooting for you!!

Hello T.,

I can understand your struggle. I have a 6 year old daughter who isn't autistic but very sensitive. She used to cry at any and everything. I was so affraid to send her to school last year. I was able to find a private school that fit my budget and was a great fit for our family. If your son is high functioning I think he would do fine in a regular classroom. If anything you will be ensured that he will be able to work on his social skills.

The social skills that he will learn while in school will allow him to go out into the world when he is at the right age. The hope for any parent to see thier child be able to function outside of the home.

I say give it a try and if it doesn't work out you can also pull him back. If you live in a school district that has a stong special education staff it will be worth a try.

I hope this helps.

My brother-in-law was homeschooled because he would have probably been diagnosed with ADHD and was VERY kinesthetic, always on the move, etc. His mom had a lot of patience and had to put up with a messy house, but she ended up homeschooling four kids at once (the others for other reasons). My husband went to a public high school. Right now he is so glad he had that bonding time with his siblings and they have all turned great socially, spiritually, and intellectually. They all were able to get an individualized education designed to meet their needs.

You do not need to be an expert in any subject to be your child's teacher. Just love learning. You have the ability to learn right along with him. However, you will need to do some self-coaching. If you're serious, you ought to network with other homeschooling moms, read books to motivate yourself, and make a plan for dealing with the stress, because it will most likely be a lot more stressful. You have to weigh the consequences. If you can be happy doing it, then I say it's worth it, but if it turns you inside out, then don't do it, or wait until you have more coping resources.

I was home schooled from K-12. My mom ran a very tight ship in order to maintain the discipline needed to make sure things were done properly and to keep us all on track with our school work. I loved it and never once felt deprived or lacked for social interaction but we were VERY involved in a home school support group and our church.

I have thought a lot about whether I will want to home school my son as well and can tell you I am not sure. It is a lot of work in order to be successful and do the best for your child but it also can be very rewarding. One thing to consider beyond the obvious concerns you have is your son's personality. Some people do better in school when they have peers to motivate and compete against. Not that school should be a competition but I know for some people (my younger sister included) having their peers around can be very helpful. Every year my parents considered whether or not to continue homeschooling and once we were into middle school they actually asked us whether we wanted to go to a public school or not. I'm not sure how much our desires came into play because we all loved being at home and never asked to stop homeschooling. However, when my little sister became a freshman in high school she wanted to go to a public school so my parents sent her and she continued to do well.

We always had the opportunity to do things through the public school system and we took concurrent classes at the community college during our junior and senior years of high school to get a jump on some college credits. Our homeschool group also had Fabulous Friday, where we had one day to sign up for extracurricular classes taught by other moms, retired teachers, etc. and that was always fun because then we were in a setting with our peers for the day.

Because of your son's autism you may want to speak to some special needs teachers and other experts to get their feedback on whether homeschooling would be best for him and his overall development. The one on one teaching may be just what he needs but I don't know.

If you do homeschool make sure you connect with a good homeschool support group that will be able to point you in the right direction in every area from curriculum to getting proper state testing done. The last thing you would want to do is do a great job teaching but fail to cross your t's and dot your i's so his education wouldn't be recognized by the state. Good luck with your decision. It is a tremendous job and kudos to you for seriously thinking about it.