December 10, 2009,
J.M. asks from Coram, NY on December 07, 2009
Holiday Cards for Ppl Who Dont Return 1? - Coram,NY
I've been living in my home now for almost 7 yrs. When we moved here neighbors came from all around to introduce themselves & waved when they passed the house. We also were invited to "game nights" & had BBQ's. Nothing has transpired that would account for the way the friendliness has settled down. I always included these families on my holiday card list & received cards from them.
Now, for the previous 2 yrs I send everyone cards but only 1 or 2 send one to us back, it's as if we were crossed off their card list. I continue to mail cards in spite of that. Now I am making out holiday cards & I’m tempted to not send to the ppl who haven't sent us a card in yrs. I guess I am growing tired of being the one who always waves hello & gets ignored, how long does one person extend themselves before they finally say enough?
1 mom found this helpful
R.Y. answers from New York on December 08, 2009
The people who don't send card aren't necessarily snubbing you. I just never get cards sent out. I used to try before having kids but I am not that organized. By last year when the second baby was due 5 days after Christmas I just decided to not stress over it by trying and not sending anything. Sometimes we send an email letter. Maybe things will improve when the kids are older. But don't take it too personally. If these are neighbors who are friendly in person it probably isn't an intentional slight.
L.L. answers from New York on December 07, 2009
If it makes you feel good to do it and you want to try to continue relationships with these people than go for it. Personally though I wouldn't. Stamps costs money. Just send cards to the ones you get ones back from. Not sending them cards may make them think and question why you haven't sent them a card this year.
C.D. answers from New York on December 08, 2009
Losts of ppl dont send cards anymore to much$. I still
do but if you dont send me one back your off my list.
L.M. answers from New York on December 07, 2009
During the past 2 years with our economy, alot of families have had to make some cut backs. The tradition also seems to be fading.
If you enjoy sending cards, then continue to do so. However, I would say if you haven't received a card in 2 or 3 years, it's time to cross them off the list.
L.B. answers from New York on December 08, 2009
I know it's already been said, but it's very likely they just don't send cards anymore. I only send cards to our families (I like to write notes, but it is far too time-consuming and expensive to send them to everyone!).
As to your larger question about continuing to extend yourself -- I can't really address it. Maybe the lives of your neighbors have changed. Maybe the relationships among the whole neighborhood have changed (maybe it's not just with you). I just don't know!
The decision about continuing to extend yourself is only yours. You need to do what you feel is best for you!
M.T. answers from New York on December 08, 2009
I think that a lot of families have simply stopped sending cards or only send them to immediate family. They have become an expense that many people have decided that they don't need. It's up to you if you want to continue sending holiday greetings to these neighbors. IF it gives you enjoyment, then do it, without expecting anything in return.
I think in a neighborhood, once the kids get older, we don't see so many block parties, barbecues and holiday parties. The kids are off doing their own thing and we are busy driving them to and from these things. We had neighborhood get togethers when I first moved here 9 years ago - there were 14 kids on the elementary bus from our street then, when my oldest started kindergarten. Now my kids are in high school and middle school, most of those other 13 are seniors in high school and off at college. We have 3 elementary school students on the block. We are at different places in life now.
L. answers from New York on December 07, 2009
I wouldn't let such people change who I am.
If giving out xmas cards is your thing, keep giving them out unless you give out cards expecting a card back.
Likewise, you can stop sending them out whenever you feel like it.
By the way, I lived in Coram, Old Town Rd, some 8 years ago.
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N.D. answers from New York on December 08, 2009
Don't worry. Some people just don't send cards anymore. It's a great way to save money when most people don't keep them anyway. That's how we are. We usually send a card to someone who sends it to us, but we don't mail cards regularly. Now that our daughter is one, we may send one with her photo on it, but in the past, no. It's more your preference I guess.
R.E. answers from New York on December 08, 2009
do whatever your gut tells you to do
L.N. answers from New York on December 08, 2009
Elizabeth hit (something) in the head: she just called you a housewife from suburbia. how fun and educational.
I don't send cards. I never have only because i don't keep track of addresses and such. Emailing is my middle name so I send short emails to people. I have noticed people not sending me cards and i am assuming they assume what you're assuming: that i am snubbing them. But I am not. I just do not have time or the organisational skills to get these on time. I would probably write them, lose them, find them months later, right around 4th of july :)