Hiv

Hi J.,
First, I am so sorry for your news, what a difficult thing to find out.

The next thing I would tell you is that this is not the death sentence that it used to be. When you see the specialist, I am sure they can give you the stats, but people are now living very long lives with HIV. The good thing about it being caught now is that it can be monitored. I have a brother-in-law that has been positive for, I believe, over 20 years now. He is on meds and has some side effects, but overall, he is relatively healthy. And I say relatively because he really doesn't have the healthiest life style, LOL. If he exercised more and drank less, he'd be even better!

The meds are better these days, you don't have to take them every 4 or 5 hours liked you used to (in fact, many of them are once a day). And you may not even be started on them right away, I am not sure what the latest thoughts are on that. I read something recently that HIV patients are living into their 70's these days, unlike back in the 80s and 90s.

So, although this is horrible news, try not to let yourself go crazy thinking about the what ifs, at least until you talk to someone who is an expert. Keep yourself healthy in the ways that you can, and focus on the positive.

Good luck, my prayers are with you.

6 moms found this helpful

J.,
I know it's easier to say than do, but don't panic until you get the real result! Knowledge is power! Find out all you can so you can make the right choices/decisions should the situation demand it.
HIV is definitely not the horrible news it once was. Lots of people are living (and loving) with it every day for years and years and years and years.
Keeping you in thoughts!

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I am sooooo sorry J.. Especially when you have now had two bad things slammed on you. Your husband being unfaithful and now this. First I do want to ask, "Are you sure your husband came back negative or is that what he is saying?" If he has been unfaithful, he has lied to you before and if you are counting on him getting tested and SAYING he is negative, I would not believe it at all.... It is very common for the "active/cheating" partner to come back and say "No I am negative, it was not me"; just a copping technique as to shift the blame. If you have been faithful to your husband and have always been; I am telling you he too is positive. Viral loads do not become undetectable unless the person has been on a medication regime for some time. Your viral load would not be high enough to come back positive and his negative, if he is the one that gave it to you. Unless you have seen the negative result in writing or was sitting next to him, I would say he is not being truthful. Neverless to say; move past that and realize that people at this current time are living with HIV and living well. It is not a death sentence like it once was. You would be suprised of how many people are positive and you would never know. It does mean, a change in life style protecting both you and the people around you, but it is not a death sentence. I hope they connecte dyou with the HIV "Living Positive" community and the HCMC or FUMC HIV clinic. They both are wonderful programs that guide your medication and diet. Just know it is not a horrible thing. It is just a life style adjustment. You will be fine and will live to see your babies grow up just fine. Here is a (((HUG))).

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Dear J.,
Hugs from me too.
I agree with Riley that your local hospital should have support references for you. They should also be able to help you out with information about true or false positives and how you can keep yourself healthy, both physically and emotionally, in the meantime.
I do know that being positive for HIV is not necessarily indicative of whether or not things will progress for the worst.
You DO have support on here and I'm sure we will all be keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.
Be good to yourself and let us know how you're doing.

Blessings to you!

1 mom found this helpful

Great big hugs honey!!! Yeah... positive results can happen in the very beginning of infection, and then "hide" for the next several months before it's become established enough for a person to test positive for again.

Since you're from a big city... 2 things:

1) Your hospital should have a support group for you to start attending

2) A social worker connected with the hospital should be able to help you find a counselor as well as other help to get you through the first several months

I hope someone on here can direct you to some really good online resources.

Hugs, hugs, hugs.
R

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Lots of Hugs and Prayers to you.STAY STRONG and FOCUSED and EDUCATE yourself FOR yourself and your baby!! It will be tough but OK
Keep us posted Please

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J.,

I am so sorry you have to go through this. If your testing does end up to be accurate, I know that there has been a lot of medical advancement in the last 10 years. HIV isn't the death sentence it used to be. I have seen several articles that said the life expectancy of someone with HIV is now at a normal level. Here's one... http://www.terradaily.com/reports/HIV_Life_Expectancy_Now...

I did have two false positive tests for the Hep B antibody from the Red Cross when I donated blood. Hep B is blood transmitted only, and since I was a virgin who had never used drugs, I questioned the accuracy of the tests, but thought "How can it be wrong twice?" I found out years later when I was pregnant with my first child and they ran the test again that I never had it to begin with.

I guess my point is don't lose hope. There is a chance that the test is wrong, and if it's right, seek medical treatment and follow your doctor's orders. You still can live a long and healthy life despite this.

Good luck,
S.

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Dear J.,

This must be a very shocking and upseting time for you. I work in the HIV world and highly recommend you call the Minnesota AIDSLine and ask for Quickconnect. ###-###-#### They can help you step by step. Also, there's a local MN network called the Women and Families Network that support women with HIV. You can google it. Remember, HIV is scary but treatable and getting medical care early is important.

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I am not a medical professional but work with women living with HIV. It is strange that you'd have a positive and he'd have a negative unless you've had blood contact with someone - if he gave it to you, he'd have a stronger virus than you do and should trigger the test. Generally, the tests are pretty close to 98% accuracy - I would have him tested again as well - and witness the test. It can take up to 6 months - although generally within 3 months the tests will indicate positive for most of the population.

Sorry that wasn't so hopeful for you- but I can tell you that although it isn't always easy HIV is something many people are living with and living quite well - a lot of it depends on the way you take care of yourself and whether they can find the right medication for you - but I know many women living pretty close to normal lives - even having children etc. As serious as it is, and I will not say it is like a chronic illness because it isn't - but I will say there are a lot of things medicine can do now that they couldn't before. Hang in there!

Oh- I just thought of something- one more thing- depending on the type of test you had - if you had a H1N1 shot or a flu shot - it might interfere with the test so the more specific bloodwork that looks for the virus not just antibodies will tell you for sure - the basic tests look for antibodies.

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Some ND's do not even believe that HIV exists. And test are very often inaccurate. I would go to an ND if your test continues to be positive.

I don't know anything from first hand, but I do know that it is seen very differently in the natural circles than it is in the medical circles.

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All I can is send you hugs and prayers. I am sorry!

I am so sorry you are dealing with this stressful situation. The good news is that HIV drugs have become very effective for many people, who are living for decades after their diagnosis. You did the right thing to get tested and you are doing the right thing to see a specialist. The odds are that medications will be able to manage your infection so that you do not develop full-blown AIDS.

From everything I have read regarding HIV, in order to be infected your sexual partner must also be infected. So it makes no sense that your husband is showing a negative while you show a positive. Has your husband confirmed that he had an affair? Is there anyway else you could have come in contact with it? an open cut that may have come in contact from blood from a positive HIV individual? I would contact your physician and rule out any other ways you may have contracted the disorder. Thank goodness there are drugs out there that keep AIDS/HIV in check in order to live a good life, it isn't a death sentence like it used to be. Please before jumping to conclusion think back and talk with your Dr of the ways you could've contracted the disease

I am praying for you.

I don't have any advice but I just want to tell you how sorry I am that this happened to you- and I will keep you in my prayers!

Hang in there! Don't imagine anything; just stick with the facts. Even if you are HIV positive, there is so much you can do these days to heal yourself. Maybe it's just a wake-up call for healthy living. Sorry I don't have specific info for you, but if you do some research you will find positive support and information. I have a friend who had full-blown AIDS and healed himself over a period of time, to where he now is HIV negative.
Sending you love and good wishes!