Hitting Himself???

Updated on March 30, 2008
A.C. asks from Keller, TX
10 answers

This might sound weird but Sunday afternoon my nearly 14 month old son started this thing where if we say "no" or close the safety gate or take something away, he slaps himself in the face! We NEVER slap him or each other for that matter, so I don't know where he got that, and if we take something away we give him something that IS acceptable to play with in exchange, and we're not screaming "no" at him all over the place. It was a little disturbing Sunday and yesterday, but today I'm changing his diaper and he got mad (always does if he has to be off his feet for more than 2 seconds) and pulled his own hair!!! I'm upset because I don't want him hurting himself (doesn't seem to be hard enough, but I don't know), and I don't want to miss it if something's "wrong" with him. Is this normal??? If not, what do we do??? (Actually, even if it IS normal, what do we do?) I babysit another boy his age, but neither of them are physical with each other either; they just play in the same room. At a loss on this one....

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank y'all for helping ease my mind! I was worried he was developing some disorder or something , lol. I did what was suggested and just ignored it totally (though it aggrivated me) and he totally quit doing it in about 2 weeks. :)

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.D.

answers from Dallas on

My son is 19 mo. old and he hits himself in the head when he's mad at us or frustrated. I think it's a phase and is fairly common.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi, my son who is now 3 did the same thing when he was younger, he even went as far as "headbanging" the concrete, blood running down his face and got up laughing. I took him to his doctor and explained the situation to him, he suggested play therapy, and all they do is go to a room and play with toys, sand ect. and work through whatever it is that is going on, so we started that, and he has stopped, in fact he behaves alot better than he ever did. Im not saying there is anything wrong with him, but it could be something to look into.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.

answers from Dallas on

my son did the same thing. it really bothered my husband and he made a big deal about it...it got worse. we ignored it and it completely went away. it's VERY hard to ignore this sort of behavior. our son actually would hit his head on the hardwood floors!! it was awful but it went away when we completely ignored it. he did it at the same time...whenever he didn't get his way or we told him no. it'll get better :-)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

Y.D.

answers from Dallas on

From about 14 months to 24 months, my daughter had several behaviors that were similiar to what you were talking about. She would bite her finger, bang her head on the wall and or floor, scream at the top of her lungs, bend over and say poo poo very loudly, and anything else that would get our attention. Then we realized that was exactly what she wanted-attention, so we ignored it and it eventually stopped. Now we are experiencing this with my son, but it isnt nearly as bad, I really think it depends on the child and I believe it is totally normal. My neice slaps her face and pulls her ears and hair when she gets angry. So I wouldnt worry about it and start ignoring it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.

answers from Dallas on

I think it's just a phase. My twin boys started something similar at about that age; when they get frustrated they will throw themselves on the floor and start banging their head on the floor; or they bang their heads on the wood around the crib or on the wall. I responded by calmly saying no and then distracting and redirecting their attention. I think it's just related to their new awareness of control and they are frustrated and overwhelmed when you exhibit control over them. But babies really want boundaries; they are just learning new things and need your guidance. If after a while of setting the boundary (no hitting), redirecting attention and distracting your son does not improve (less frequent), you may want to talk to your pediatrician. Otherwise, I think it's just a precursor to the "terrible twos" that lasts through the threes.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.G.

answers from Odessa on

I have a 21mo old and about the time he started walking (12 mo)he began doing the same thing. He took it as far as banging his head on the floor, wall, whatever was close. Soon he realized that the ceramic tile hurt, and he began moving his tantrum to the carpet. This has subsided greatly but there was a period of about 3 or 4 mo that I was really questioning the situation. Now he just crosses his arms and pats his forarm saying "no". At this stage of development, it is a normal development response according to my nursing books. Just make sure he realizes when he is hurting himself and try to direct his attention somewhere else. You will get through it, I know exactly how you feel!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.L.

answers from Houston on

My 17 mo old does the same thing when he "gets mad" at us. He used to hit or pull our hair, but after being told "ouch" he just started doing it to himself. For a while, I would tell him "ouch, don't hit my baby/ pull my babys hair" He thought this was a game, so he would laugh. Then he would do it even when he was giggling. So I started to ignore it, and just in the past week it has gotten way better.

I do believe that alot of babies do this, and you should just ignore it. They are learning about pain....what hurts, what doesn't. If anything, try to just give yourself a little giggle. It's just one of those silly things babies do while learning about themselves! Once you get past the embarrassment of it, it's really kinda cute and silly anyways!! Just wait until he is pulling his hair (not real hard) telling you "no, no, no, no, no" It's pretty cute!!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.W.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter did a very similar thing, she would bite herself when she was upset. We would just tell her, "no bite" and eventually she stopped, but she was also biting kids at her daycare too. But saying this put a stop to her biting herself and the kids at school. We also used time out but I am not sure if putting him in time out for hitting himself would be effective?? I guess the good thing he is not hitting you/your husband/other kids. Tough one!

C.R.

answers from Dallas on

I remember having a child in my classroom that would hurt himself (hitting, slapping and running into walls) when things didn't turn out the way he wanted. I did some research because I found this behavior disturbing. At the time I didn't have any children of my own and didn't understand that they can have many "issues" at this age. :) My advice would be that if you do make a correction of this habit please do so with no reaction. The more big deal you make out of it the more gas for the fire.
It can be a very good manipulation tool for him if you do.
C.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.B.

answers from Houston on

I have never had this issue myself, but have seen this question posted before and the general concensus is that you should ignore the behavior. I think my pediatrician even mentioned it once as a "just in case your child displays this behavior" type conversation. She, too, said to ignore it. They end up using the behavior to get attention (positive or negative). I can't imagine how hard it would be to ignore your kid when they're hurting themselves, but I truly believe that's the best approach. Good luck! I hope he stops soon.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions