Hep with My 5 Year Old

He did it intentionally.
He is 5.
A kid this age knows right and wrong and nice and not nice by now.

If that were my son, I would NOT feel bad for him.
Saying sorry, does NOT cut it.
These are expensive glasses.
Grandma's eyes are bad.
It is, just not nice at all.

I would, punish him.
And not just talking about it.

He did it intentionally.
It doesn't matter if he thought it was funny, or if he didn't do it maliciously.
He did it.
Nuff' said.

I wear glasses. My glasses costs a LOT. Especially since we are not rich. My Glasses are over $250. Each. And that is just for the Frames. And that ain't no small change to me.

IF my kids, broke my glasses, "Intentionally" there would be hell.
My Son is 4. My Daughter is 8.
They KNOW... how to be careful about my glasses while I am wearing it or not.... because I explain this to them CLEARLY, and they know it costs money.
I would NOT... put up with excuses, nor them just saying a meek "sorry" about it if they broke, my glasses.
They know, better, than that.
And if my kids did that anyway, and broke my glasses, I would be- Pissed. And punish them. No sugar coating it.

all the best,
Susan

Please get through his head that he should never touch glasses. My oldest as had his broken twice on the bus by punk brats that think they are funny. If it were my child he'd have to o do work at grandmas until she felt the cost had been paid back. You say in the first sentence it was deliberate and yet you are asking if he should be punished. Do you understand how expensive glasses are? Punish him before he oes it to a classmate and you end up with a $300+ bill you have to pay. My 4 yr old knows if he even pits his hand near my or his brothers face it's an automatic loss of his tv time just because my eyes are so bad that my lenses cost a pretty penny if your moms sight is that bad hers are probably more then mine. I don't blame your dad being mad and I agree sorry does not cut it he's old enough to understand.

Edited: sometimes the frame cannot to be straightened back out. We had to get a new frame after some brat stretched and deformed my sons glasses that badly. Gas costs money, the hassle of going, it was purposely done he needs to do chores for grandma so he fully understands the seriousness of what he did and what that funny on purpose prank/stunt could have cost them. The fact so many so don't punish makes me think they have never purchased glasses.

You can ask him how he thinks she felt when he knocked her glasses off, and then how she felt when she found out they were broken, and finally what it will be like for her to not be able to see until they are fixed. You could point out how scary it is for someone to be swinging their hands in your face, and how angry he might be if someone broke something important to him - even if it was an accident.
Lastly have him draw a nice picture and write his name in an "I'm sorry" card and send it to grandma. I'm willing to bet that he is punishing himself inside feeling badly about hurting or scaring grandma when he was meaning to play.

I would have been furious with my son if he'd done that to anyone. "Trying to be funny" is never a reason, period, to hurt someone or their property. Especially when a child has been told not to do something like this. So I can understand your father's reaction.

That said, I don't think your father's response should dictate how you choose to discipline your son. My usual response to property damage is "well, we have to make amends". If it were me, I wouldn't downplay your parents' reaction to your son-- they had every right to be angry and to minimize it is only going to keep him from understanding he did something very wrong. "I know you only meant to be funny" is minimizing what he did, so avoid this sort of consolation. He did something you expressely told him not to do and needs to understand this.

If it were my child, I would tell him that "we won't be able to buy any 'extras' until we've paid for grandma's glasses". Find out from your mom what her co-pay is, and then make a payment plan with her to pay it off in monthly installments, if possible. What this would mean in our house is that every time our son asked for a toy or to go out to pizza or those sorts of things(dvd rentals, 'special' outings) , we'd have to say "well, , we are still paying for the glasses you broke, so we can't afford it right now". I think gifts for birthdays/holidays are fine, but we would make sure he understood that those other "fun" things would have to be postponed until the glasses were paid for. I don't mean to be harsh, but I want my son to learn that just saying sorry does not make it all better,especially when something is done deliberately. Hard lesson. Apologies are nice, but this is property damage and your mother could have been hurt. The glasses will cost them money to replace and with three lenses are expensive. As someone who wears glasses 24/7, I'd want to see some compensation.

I wouldn't take anything away; I like for the punishment to fit the crime. He does need to know that this was a big deal though, especially since your dad was so upset, and your son did it on purpose (even though it wasn't malicious). Maybe you could have him write an apology note to your mom. He could make a card, decorate it, and write a nice note inside. It would take him some time to do, and it would be a thoughtful gesture. It would also help him remember not to do anything like that again.

Don't punish but I would enforce that he needs to be very respectful from now on, esp when your parents are around.

IMHO, it doesn't matter if he meant any harm or not, or what his intentions were, or that it did not cost any money to fix the glasses - he should know better by now not to touch them, period. If you've told him over and over before not to touch them, including reasonable explanations and he still doesn't seem to get it, some kind of consequence is needed to get the message to sink in. My dad used to say that to me all the time - "Sorry doesn't cut it!" - and while I know some feel saying something like that to a child is not appropriate, I get where your dad is coming from. He's basically saying that you can't just say you are sorry and think that that makes it all okay again - you need to make amends and take care that it does not happen again. I would make the punishment fit the crime - have him perform chores for your parents until the "cost" of the glasses is "worked off", and have him write whatever kind of letter or note of apology that he is capable of at his age.

You said yourself he intentionally did it. Regardless of whether it was malicious or not, he knew he wasn't supposed to do that, right? Have you ever had to buy a pair of glasses? My own are 3 years old because I keep putting off getting a new pair. Why? Because it is ridiculously expensive!!!
In your mom's situation, I hope they are able to do the repairs in the store. If not, it could EASILY be 2 weeks before she gets a replacement pair. My glasses always cost me close to $300 by the time I get what I need on them, and I don't even have bi-focals. Just a very strong prescription that is heavy and distractingly unpretty to see if I don't get the "ultralight" version (which costs$$). Think coke bottles. I can only imagine what they would cost me if I had bi or tri-focals!

Your son needs to be made to understand in no uncertain terms that he is NEVER to do that again. To ANYONE.
Besides the expense, he might have damaged her FACE or her EYES for Goodness sakes! The nose piece things can SCRATCH when glasses are not removed properly. Have you ever had a discussion with him about "personal space"? Glasses fall into that personal space and he should NEVER touch anyone's.

I think he was already punished when his visit was cut short and his grandpa said that to him. When my boys say "sorry does not cut it" to each other I tell them that is rude. I can not believe a grown man said that to a small child!!!!!

I wouldn't punish him if you know he wasn't trying to be malicious, and if you see that he understands now that he can't do that, but it might be nice if he makes a nice card and writes that he's sorry to your Mom and Dad.

He is 5. That is big enough to understand the rules.
Your last line is what bothers me. You are excusing him for what he did. (Because he did not mean any harm.) That means that you are excusing him for not listening to you - even though you have talked about this before. If you don't do some sort of punishment, then he has learned that he can continue to not listen to you. At what age should he start to listen? Getting him to listen now is easier than it will be later.
That said, waiting to give a punishment for something is a hard thing at this age. You may have missed the timing for this incident. However, you may want to look at if he listens to you other times, and start working on those times as opportunities to correct his behavior. Talk with him about this time, and make it clear that he needs to start listening to you - and then follow through (immediately) with consequences if he fails to listen. In our house we use time out, but that works for us. Use what works for you to get his attention - and be consistent with following through on ANYTHING you threaten. (Which also means, don't threaten anything you are not willing/able to follow through on.)

he should absolutely work off the cost of the glasses by doing chores around their house. by the time he has raked, weeded, swept and picked up for a few weeks, he'll really understand that he must not do that again, and your folks will understand that he's not just saying sorry, but that he gets it.
it's an excellent learning opportunity. don't lose it!
khairete
S.

Ok reading all the answers is interesting. The thing is too much time has passed to punish him for this particular transgression now. I agree a letter of apology (using pictures if necessary) is enough for now. I would however talk with him about future consequences if the actions are repeated. You need to plan what actions result in what consequences. It needs to be laid out in advance so he knows what is going to happen. You also need to figure out what works best for your son. My son loves to read and play video games. The first thing to go is video games and the second is books. Most would cringe at taking books away but this works because he loves to read so much. Good luck

Jenny J is right...a letter of apology or a picture that says "I'm sorry" on it is very appropriate.

At that age he probably can't write a letter of apology, but i'd have him draw a picture to say he's sorry and have him give it to Grandma. He can help you clean the bathroom as well. It's a good lesson to learn. Everything has a consequence.