Help...my 7 Year Old Hates to Read!

Updated on November 23, 2008
T.T. asks from Palatka, FL
30 answers

My 7 year old son HATES to read. He can sit and do math problems all day long, but when it comes time to read for his 20 minutes each day, he gets upset and I end up getting upset (and lose my temper on occasion). He is a good reader, but I think he's being (dare I say it) lazy. He tends to mix up b's and d's still, but with constant prodding, we make it through the 20 minutes. This breaks my heart because my husband and I LOVE to read. Any suggestions to make this a less stressful part of our day?

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So What Happened?

Thank you one and all for your wonderful suggestions. While my little guy still doesn't consider reading his favorite thing to do, I've found in the last few days, that if I take it upon myself to take a deep breath and approach this calmly, we get through it. If he builds up any anxiety before it's time to read (this is daily homework assignment) I set the timer for 7 minutes (7 minutes for 7 years of age) and tell him that when the timer goes off, it's time to read. This has been enough time (so far so good) for him to relax, and tell himself that it's time to do this task. I've also found that since he LOVES soccer, this is big reward for reading without incident (no read=no practice). We are also implementing a little Mommy/Son or Daddy/Son time at bedtime. We are going to start reading the Harry Potter series...one chapter a night, read to him by either Mom or Dad. I really feel like he will enjoy this one on one time with Mom or Dad...without baby sister intruding. Luckily for us, my MIL is an English prof and a major university in NC...she usually sends the kids new books every other month or so...the rest of the time we supplement with our own library and the public library. Thanks again for all your help!

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A.

answers from Ocala on

My sugestion is that you start from less time and them increase it. Find books of topic that he will like and use the time wisely. I had the same problem with my son who is 8 years old. We use the driving time between places to read and discuss about the book. Another time is when they sit in the bathroom. I had explain to my son how important it is to read and they way that it will help him.

Good luck!!

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K.G.

answers from Jacksonville on

I have 7 year old twins, and they both hate to read an dit shows at there grade level. I just started them on Great Leaps, which helps me to tutor them. They make a graph and get to see there progress. I see a big improvement in there reading. Go to www.greatleaps.com. hope this helps K..

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G.P.

answers from Reno on

Hi, T. was has worked for me is positive motivation. I write a note to the teacher to inform her how good he did at reading and she congratulates him.
Sometimes I tell him that if he really puts all the his effort into reading that night I will take him to the movies on Friday is all about rewarding him. it does not always has to be money or a gift, it coul dbe an extra 30 min. of staying up, renting a movie, Ice cream, My Son loves to go to the Halloween stores so when he is good I take him there.

I hope I was able to give you ideas.

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N.C.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

What is it your are making him read? Anything he is interested in? He's not lazy. It may be that he just doesn't like to be prodded and made to read some story he's not interested in. Neither do I. I pick out my own books when I go to the library. Don't you? Then, if I get home and find I don't like one, I put it aside and read something else. Try this with your son and see what happens. He may turn out to be a big reader if he gets to read something that is interesting to him -- and I can't tell you how many times I have heard mothers say their little girls are OK with the stories but the boys want some non-fiction. Or he may get most of his reading done on the computer. Another fine alternative.

N.

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J.G.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

I haven't read any of your response's but i know this worked for me. Set up a chart for every day of the week(let him help you make it) get some gold star sticker's and and when you sit down to read explain to him that every night after your done he will get a gold star to put on his chart.. At the end of the week let him pick something out of a cardboard treasure chest that you two make together.. It doesnt have to be expensive stuff, little thing's that you can pick out at the dollar store or even stuff he might like for soccer like new sock's etc.. The gold star's make them get a kick out of winning one. Just a thought
good luck and don't give up
J. G
Im a PSL mom and have a 5year old Son

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S.S.

answers from Daytona Beach on

Maybe try telling him the begining of a good story, really play it up, get him hooked on it, then tell him he has to read the rest in the book to see how it turns out. Did you ever see the movie "The Princess Bride"? Like how the grandfather did with that book, but have your son read the second half of the story himself. HTH.

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L.G.

answers from Tampa on

Do you take him regularly to the library? Most public libraries have special programs for his age group at least once a month, and they try to make them as fun as possible. There are some great chapter book series out right now too, most are adventure/fantasy but there are also sports and other themes, a librarian can recommend one that might hold his interest. Good luck!

L.

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A.P.

answers from Miami on

I have a 7 yr old son to!Just start slow and find books about interests he has.Start out with nursery rhymes and old stories that be funny like Dr suess.Hopefully this might help.Good Luck!

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C.N.

answers from Miami on

Hi T.,
I too, have a seven year old daughter. Also, I am a reading instructor who taught her to read at 3 years of age. She was reading Dr. Suess series and Dick and Jane books. Midway in her kindergarten year her teacher says to me, "I am stumped, she just is not performing and progressing in reading." Her personality change towards reading and she started to say she didn't like reading. I was very frustrated as this is what I do for a living. In the end we found out two very important factors. FIRST,during one of her reading sessions at school her classmates giggled when another child was trying to read and sound out a word, secondly, the students participated in a reading program that quizzed them on a computer after they read a story and would grade their comprehension. One day some of the same classmates ridiculed a student because he failed the quiz. Both of these incidences made a lasting impression on my daughter and she refused to participate in the reading program or reading aloud in front of other children. We tried many different options to encourage her to read again some worked,but she still was not progressing in school. The teacher would say she never raised her hand to participate or read aloud. I was beside myself and very frustrated. I help students every year who come through my reading classes, but I was at a loss with my own child.
In the end, after we discovered what the issues were because of the above mentioned issues we realized her self confidence in her reading ability was very low.
My husband and I met with the teacher and got permission to preview the reading lesson ahead of time before she introduced them to the class. We reviewed the lessons with my daughter so she was confident to participate with the rest of the class during instruction.
We also did many of the other activities mentioned by other moms. LIbrary , reading together at night, computer games with reading , taking reading quizzes online, taking her after school to school library to take quizzes, rewards , etc...
I am happy to say with a lot of patience and perservance she is on grade level , participating with classmates and loves reading again. Now, she even writes her own stories and says she wants to be an author someday.

I guess my point of sharing this story with everyone is to have everyone consider what their child is thinking and may feel about what is expected of them. Try talking with your child and asking them exactly what it is they don't like about reading or what they think is expected of them. This will help you to figure out what is the best way to help them to overcome their anxiety.

one tip for the b and d is a visual( big dog )you ask them to hold up their index fingers and fold the other fingers down to create a circle this creates the letters b and d. b is created on the left hand and d is created on the right hand you name them big dog this an easy pneumonic for them to remember and to use as a visual cue when they want reassurance.

Reading can be fun!!!

One last thing, I did not find out this information from my daughter from one conversation. I had many discussions with her before she shared what exactly was causing her anxiety about reading.

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A.R.

answers from Melbourne on

Some suggestions:
1. Let him pick what he wants to read and switch to something else if it turns out to be boring.

2. Try kids CD or DVD for the computer, magazine articles, or web site for kids instead of books.

2. Read out loud to him. Take turns reading paragraphs or sentences out loud.

3. Be flexible on the 20 minute requirement.

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S.J.

answers from Tampa on

My brother was the same way also...he still hates reading I think he read the same book for book reports all the way from 1st grade to high school and he never read the book it was one our mom read to him once...I will tell you though he did turn out to have dislexia..(spelling?) so it also wasnt so much hateing he had a hard time with it once they got him in special classes it wasnt so much a fight with my mom as much, but I think it also is a boy thing I loved reading and would read a babysitters club book in 2 days I would try what others suggested and try comic books but also if he is reading his b's and d's backwords you may want to get him tested for dislexia...good luck
S.

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M.P.

answers from Jacksonville on

My six year old loves to read. The things we do are this: First and foremost we praise him every night about how great a reader he is, we always do reading as the last thing of the night so he knows it is reading time or bedtime, it is amazing how long he wants to read! We also have made a deal where we will read as many books as he reads to us (but it has to be a book he can't read himself). And finally there is a thing at school where after every 15 books he reads he gets to go to the treasure box(which is also motivating). I hope this is helpful.

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K.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

Hi,

Well I'm answering your issue as a teacher and not a parent. I have been teaching for 10 years. My kids are 13 months and 2 months, so they don't read, obviously, but I read to them every night. Anyway, as you know in Florida they have to take and pass the FCAT in 3rd grade. The entire thing is reading, so the sooner your son is involved in reading, the better. The suggestions you got were excellent from the other moms. Taking your son to the library or Barnes and Noble to have him pick out books he would be interested in is a good way to get started. Have him check out some comic books...it may not be educational, but it's reading and that's what counts. THere are also some books by Marilyn Burns (The Very Greedy Triangle, Spaghetti and Meatballs for All, etc.) that are fun books having to do with math. If you type in one of her books on amazon.com. they will give you a list of similar fun math books as well. Hope this helps.

K.
Mom of Sam (13 months) and Skyler (2 months)

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C.C.

answers from Orlando on

I have an 8 yr old that is the same way! I have a magazine subscription for boys his age, I buy him books or get books from the library on subjects he enjoys such as animals, dinosaurs, cars, etc. Comic books are also a lot more interesting to boys. Hopes this helps...

C.C.

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T.

answers from Punta Gorda on

I agree with the other moms who said the material needs to be more of an interest to him maybe..also maybe when he meets the 20 min a day let him put a sticker on an old calander..and with each passing month if the required stars are earned maybe he can pick out something he has wanted..within reason lol! that might motivate him!..also my girls love their giant bean bag to read upon maybe a comfy place to settle in and read..good luck!
p.s. my soon to be 8yr old loves to read she is infact above her reading level average but too bad she doesnt have your sons love of math!!! lol! wich is awesome since math is so important!

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B.A.

answers from Tampa on

This may sound silly, but try comic books or another media that he may be more interested in. The problem may not be reading, but rather a lack of interest in the material.

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K.

answers from Tampa on

I had this problem with both of my daughters. Each for different reasons. My younger one was just not exposed to books she enjoyed. She got Harry Potter for christmas one year and hasn't put down books yet. We just had to find what unlocked the magic of books. What she found interesting, when that was done, she expanded on her own.

My older daughter has a learning disability. I thought she was dyslexic but it turned out to be a timing problem. Her brain processed at a different speed that her eyes. For her the doctor suggested that we let her read anything, even comic books. She was scared of thick books. Her favorite was Junie B Jones. which was a basic reader (2nd grade she was in 5th), but it got her reading. As she got older she also expaned her reading so now she is even reading "Eragon".

For both of the girls we set each a goal and if they reached the goal we would go to the bookstore and let them pick out any book (age appropraite) with no questions. This seemed to be a motivating reward, with a reading outcome.

I hope this helps

K.

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M.H.

answers from Tampa on

He is not "lazy", rather, he does not apply himself! LOL
My son is the same way, but 6 years old. I'd suggest getting him a magazine subscription. There's nothing more motivating to a kiddo than getting something in the mailbox. With my son, we read to him every night rather than force him to read to us. He practices his reading skills at school and is on level, so we don't worry to much about his skills. We're reading the Captain Underpants chapter book series. It's gross and yucky, but high interest. I want my son to enjoy reading. I don't want him to stress about it or view it as a chore. That'll come later in the FCAT years, in my opinion.
Okay, that's my two cents. :-)

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S.G.

answers from Tampa on

I hated to read as a child also and grew up to be a Mechanical Engineer that now loves to read. I didn't have good reading comprehension and taught myself how to pull the required information from stories and books to get by on tests. I can tell you when I was young, nothing made me have evenless desire to read than people pushing me and telling me how great it was to read.
My only suggestion would be to not push the "reading is great" and say that you understand that reading is not one of his favorite activities but is required for school or homework and that you will help him with the task so that you can move on to an activity that he enjoys.
Good Luck
S. Gallo (See I even sell books now!)
Usborne Books!!
http://www.ubah.com/H2494

Stuff your own Animal and Doll Kits!!
http://www.stuff-n-snuggle.com/index.php?ref=376

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J.S.

answers from Orlando on

Hi T.,

Boys, boys, boys! My son, who is currently 14, loved to read when he was younger...but NOW? Only when necessary for school.

Try to find books that are about something that your son loves. Another thing we used to do: Take turns reading. You read a paragragh or sentence, then he reads a paragraph or sentence. Or even switch off with pages. Maybe reading WITH YOU will help him regain interest?

Hope it helps!
~J.

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C.W.

answers from Orlando on

Just stick with him Mom....He will be alright. My son (just turned 8 Aug. 25), was the same way. In fact I could have written this letter last year. He found reading to be a chore. He would get frustrated, but the more he practiced and built his vocabulary, the better he became at it. Now he's learning to Love reading. My neighbor's dauhter seemed so advanced in reading (same age). But boys do mature slower . Just give him the same loving encouragment and the gift of "TIME".

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S.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

I have found when a child hates to read and they love to do something else, I try to find reading material based on the subject that they love to do. He loves to work math problems. Have him read word problems and help him get the math problem from the words in order to solve it. If he has a favorite tv show, see if you can find books that relate to that show or the subject of the show. Also, my older child loves to read to my younger child. It makes her feel like a special big sister to read to her little sister. It's fun for him, and I am getting her to read out loud. I do that with all of my kids and it seems to work. Find a subject that they like and have them read to younger children. I hope this helps you some.

S.
Vero Beach, FL
Mother of 3 - ages 14, 10, 2

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A.

answers from Tampa on

Hello. I can relate to your anguish. I must say this was one of my biggest fears as a parent because I derive so much pleasure from reading, and have since I was a child. Since you say you love to read I would highly recommend you read The Read Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease. It is an amazing and inspirational book, filled with suggestions and titles that tend to peak children's interest. I have read to my son every day of his life (He is 9); it is such a part of our relationship. I think by making it a priority every day no matter what else gets done, made him value it. Do you read to him, with him, or listen to him read out loud? Changing the format might help. Also, if there is a story he likes a lot you could tape record him reading it; then whenever he wants to read that book he can listen to it as well. If he seems to like that, they sell book/tape sets at Barnes and Nobles and I think the library has them as well. Since there is stress already associated with this activity for you, I suggest you not try to push him to read when he is hungry or tired. Good luck!

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L.M.

answers from Boca Raton on

Hi T.,

If you are still struggling with your I have a suggestion. I sell Discovery Toys, which is an educational toy company for about 31 yrs. We sell a Teaching
system called Think It Through Tiles, it is great for Math, science,reading and phonics. He might really start enjoying it once he sees the self satisfaction he gets from doing with you or by himself. The Tiles allow the child to check their own work by answering the questions and following the directions. It has worked great for all of my friends children in elementary school. I hope this helps.
www.DiscoveryToysLink.com/LisaRyan LisaM

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S.F.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

Try to make things fun foryour son, sometimes if their is a reward in nthe end they may be more prone to do it. Maybe try reading with him, so that he does not get intimidated by his mispronunciations and mixing of d and b. Praise is also another positive thing. Maybe if you reward him with something small or even doing something special with him at the end of the week or month. Have him put some things he wants or wants to do in a hat or box and when he has read so many books he can pick one. I do tutoring and this tends to help kids over a leap.

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M.

answers from Orlando on

Hey T.,
My name is M. and I too have a 7 year old, second grader who hated, but now just dislikes to read. I found, finding a book a little longer to read then what he should and reading it in thirds helped to anticipate what was going to unfold in the next reading session. Along with finding what it is that interested him. He has to find a connection to what he's reading for him to enjoy it. also if you preread the story you can ask, ex.-"did you get to where Annie lost her dog?" Get him excited about a story unfolding as he reads it. One more thing. Justin had to get glasses at the end of first grade. Possible, he might need to have his eyes checked.
About the lower cased b's and d's thing. Us too again. I have made Justin write them seperately over and over again and still. Along with sometimes mixing up lower case p,q. It's just difficult for them and they'll get it. Have faith.
Justin is now receiving free tutoring in the morning 3 days a week for reading only. He is a wiz at math but that reding is something else.
Hope I at least inspired you to know your not alone and he will become an excellent reader, have faith.

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S.H.

answers from Daytona Beach on

Hi there...my name is S. and I have an 11 year old son who I homeschool, who hated to read just like your son. I tried to find ways to make it fun for him to read. My son, probably like most kids, loves to play video and computer games. So starting off I took advantage of that. I would get games for him where he would have to do some reading to progress in the game. On the computer, I would get fun learning games for him to work on. I would also give him challenges with small rewards as an incentative. I would let him pick a topic that he is interested in, let's say for example....researching things about German Shepards. He would go online and read everything he could find and relay the information back to me that he has learned. I also gave him his own wallet and took him the library to get his own personal library card which made him feel important and helped to encourage his reading. When we took road trips, we would play a game which involved some reading. I would think of a word that I know would probably be on a road sign or billboard and see who could find it first. Not only did it help with his reading but it helped to pass the time as well. I know that it can be hard do deal with his disinterest at times, but hang in there and try to be positive. In my case I found that getting upset with him was a setback. I hope that these ideas help and give you a glimmer of hope.

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T.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

Hi T.,
How about Dr. Suess? My favorites for a child this age are---The Digging-est Dog, Green Eggs And Ham, A Fish Out Of Water, A Fly Went By,Stop That Ball, etc. When I was little, I remember "reading" these stories to myself at night after my mom was done reading them to me. They are so repetitive that it builds up your confidence and the stories are so fun and somewhat predictable that if you get stuck on sounding out the word, you can guess what it is by the story line.

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L.K.

answers from Boca Raton on

Actually your situation is more typical than you know. I have three readers and they have all tortured me one way or another. The comic book versions are good ideas, Calvin and Hobbes are in book format at the library. Magic Treehouse books and Boxcar Children are 2 good series that appeal to boys. Also, it's okay for you to read to him still. I would often read a page and have my child read a page because that kept the flow of the story going and interesting. It's good to alternate easy type books with a little more challenging books. You're trying to prevent dread related to reading stigma in your son. My husband often reads to the whole family s book here and there and all the kids love it even if they had already read the book before. Hatchet might be a good one that's about a boy that gets stranded in the Canadian wildlife for a few months and all he has is his hatchet.

Good luck, it goes through stages and you will get through this one. Try and keep it enjoyable for you both. LaurieK

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J.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

You are getting some great ideas. Actually, I will go out on a limb here and say that I think the way the schools are handling things is not really helping kids who don't want to read. I have a 6 year old who doesn't really like to read. Luckily, his teacher is pretty laid back and allows him to read books and log them in a book log as he gets finished with them vs. saying he HAS to read for X amount of minutes each night. So, we go to Barnes and Noble once a week as a family and let him select a book of his choice but it must meet certain guidelines (be an actual book to read and be appropriate for where he is). Then he goes home and he reads. He also enjoys selecting books from those little flyers that they send home from scholastic books. This helps too. Most kids aren't gifted in every area and so it helps me to know that my son loves math and that this may be where his gift is. As long as your son is reading at grade level, I wouldn't stress out.

To add one more thing, with the letter reversals, if your son does spelling words, you could have him right the b and d in different colors so that he learns to recognize the difference. My daughter has to do this as part of her assignment and for her, its a waste of time since she doesn't reverse anymore (they usually grow out of it) but for my son who still reverses, we've adopted the technique. At first I thought it was a silly idea but it does work.

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