My 12 year old son has just started middle school, 7th grade in our system. As in elementary school (and kindergarten, and pre-school), his new teachers have begun complaining that he has difficulty staying on task in the classroom. As with all the previous teachers, we find that this only applies to "quiet" tasks. No one ever talks about him lacking focus in his hands-on science work or engaing discussions, etc. He is frequently praised in those conditions.
His pediatricians will not diagnose him ADD/ADHD because he can, in fact, focus quite well. We work w/ health professionals to provide him w/ healthy foods, correct sleep and less screen time. What he is lacking is the self-discipline to block out distractions (externally & in his imagination) w/o someone standing over him.
Our children attend a small, rural school system that we generally like but that lacks the flexibility to work with children with different learning styles. Montessori was never an option for us because of sheer distance.
I don't want him to resent school because of this problem - any suggestions?
Thank you!
Clarifying: his grades are generally good (struggles w/ math), his attendance is exceptional. He was in karate, achieving brown belt in 3 years, but got bored as the curriculum leveled out. He plays in band, takes extracurricular art lessons, and scores great ribbons in 4-H for art, shooting sports & leather crafts (although he dislikes making posters). We've never had his IQ checked - best way? Should point out, he's modeling me and his dad closely in this, but that doesn't help in daily class.
Have you thought about getting him tested for giftedness? Sometimes it is not always apparent, but if he was tested and had an IQ high enough he could get into gifted classes. He sounds like he needs more challenging subjects. That may be why he gets so bored so easily (And this is from a mom with a child who got tested at age 6 with a 140 IQ! We found it was NOT ADHD just needed more challenges.)
I would suggest a neuropsychological evaluation. This will give you some real answers to what might be the cause of his issue, and give you targeted interventions that you know will work. With out this, you are stabbing in the dark.
As for what your pediatrician said about ADHD, it is entirely possible for one processing skill to be fully intact while another is not. Hands on activities are not processed in the brain in the same way as quiet time working alone. What you describe is executive dysfunction, one hallmark of ADHD. Once you have an evaluation in hand, it would not surprise me if he is refered to a child psychiatrst for treatment and further referrals for therapies that will be very similar to, if not for ADHD-I (inatentive type.)
As an advocate, I wish I had a dollar for every time some one said that a child could not have ADHD because they could concentrate on something. It is even common that a child occasionally does something unexpectedly well, but it is very destructive to that child to hold out a good job as reason why they are to blame for the times that their processing skills fail them. We don't do that to children with difficulty processing urine, for example. If a child has a bad day or week with kidney disease, we don't say that they are not working hard enough because they did ok three weeks ago. Brains are flesh and blood, and there are identifiable reasons why he has a consistent issue.
M.
Does this happen only on ONE subject or any??
Sometimes Kids have a hard time focusing because they don't understand what they are "learning"
Maybe he's not sure about something and needs a little bit of help.
Ask him. It's worth a shot.
I know when i was in school I always had to have a dictionary with me, because if I didn't understand a word, phrase or whatever in what I was studying I couldn't retain what I had just learned & couldn't focus on it.
Work with him at home.....it sounds to me that he becomes bored with working or doing his homework in class.......or maybe reading to himself.........if that is the case, the teacher should be able to work with him and see if he has done the assignment and if he is done, she needs to give him more work.........
At home, you can give him a chapter to read......quietly by himself, in a room with only you and him........like you doing dishes and him reading......watch him.........
I have this website that helps with mental focus, maybe he can benefit from it............http://ht.ly/1Rirg It helps with Memory and focus.........and it's fun. That might be something else you can do, find him a game type system that allows him to learn with it.........Like Leapster or something like it. This will get him to look at the screen, concentrate and focus on what his trying to accomplish.............
If you work with him at home, I think he will get better, but I would also speak to the teachers and tell them that he is working on it and if they could help you would appreciate it.
Good Luck and take care.
Why not just let him excel in the areas he's good in, and let him be mediocre in the others?
And if/when there is a debate team in his school, put him on that.
My first thought was to ask if he is involved in any sports? Martial arts might help him focus inward and help with concentration.
I agree with the PP, too. How are his overall grades? Is it causing major grade issues? If not, I wouldn't push tooooo much. All kids have strengths and weaknesses.
Since deciding to homeschool my son I have done a lot of reading about the different ways we learn. It sounds like your son is a kinesthetic learning. He learns best and he is engaged when his mind and hands are busy. When he is doing projects, labs, and is engages in class discussion he is fully engaged. He can focus and his brain retains the information better.
I understand that you are in a small school district but there are still things that he, they, and you can do so that he learns. That is, after all, there job and it's the one job I think schools are sadly overlooking these days - teaching him how to learn. I think it's way more important that he learns than it is that he learns THEIR WAY. That's ridiculous and, in my opinion, discriminatory.
In class, let him sit in the back of the class, so that when he feels himself starting to lose focus he has stand up and move around in the back of the room. This doesn't have to be loud or distracting. He can do the same thing when he is doing an assignment or reading assigned material. It will help him regain his focus.
Let him take notes in class lectures and while reading book texts that allow him to be engaged. He can write them on notecards and organize them. If he has to shuffle and reorganize them, not only is it a good study tool but his brain and hands are engaged.
He can be allowed to record lectures and class discussions and listen to them again when he is at home and working with his hands or taking a walk with mom. Again, it will help him to focus.
Start at home and ask the teachers in class to work out a system where he works for ten minutes, then gets up for a minute and stretches his legs.
He shouldn't be a disruption to the class, but if you focus now on how he learns and retains information the best way, this could be a huge gift when he is older. He will feel more successful and his teachers will be less frustrated.
I strongly recommend the book Learning Outside the Lines by Jonathan Mooney and David Cole. It has been invaluable in helping me understand my son and him understanding himself and well as giving great tools for alternative learners.
Hope this helps
L.
You hit the nail on the head......."lacks self-discipline". THIS IS A PROCESS and is something that takes time, but also requires concentrated effort.
Make sure his environment is FREE OF DISTRACTIONS, whether that be at home or at school (as much as possible). If you have to, work on increased time incriments with quiet tasks. Take breaks if you have to, when working on things at home. I do this and it helps.
Sometimes, I'll let her take a break and go ride her scooter or bike for 20 minutes. She's ready to focus when she comes back. She doesn't have any more problems focusing and is ready to go.
It sounds like you're doing a great job involving him in many interests, yet this has been an issue since kindergarten, so SOMETHING isn't going right for him in that he's still struggling in certain areas.
My brother was similar, perhaps a more difficult case than your son, but he excelled quickly at karate, great at art, etc, but had always struggled since kindergarten. My parents tried several things, to no avail, and they finally gave in and put him on aderol (ADHD meds), which still didn't help. It wasn't until he was in high school that my mom accidentally found something that made a world of difference for him. Things improved for him very quickly; he actually graduated, which they were never sure would happen. I know my mom would be happy to share details w/ you in order to help another child...she wishes she would have learned about it sooner. If you'd like me to connect you with her, PM me.
Wishing you and your son the best!
I've worked with children in the past. Sometimes it's as simple as a word or concept he does not fully understand. You go past something you don't understand and then you have no idea what you just read. Watch him do his homework at home. If he suddenly gets bored, ask him where he was just reading. Ask him if there's a word there he doesn't understand. If he can't pick one out, pick out some words you think might be easily understood. See if he knows the definition of those words. Sometimes it's even the smaller words like "at," or "to." Also if he understands concepts better by seeing, then encourage him to make sketches or demonstrate (with objects like small toys, marbles, shells, rocks, etc.) what he just read.
Ditto everything Martha has said. We have a child with ADHD and everything she's shared is right on.
talk to the teachers.. tell them they have to work with him.. let them know before the beginning of the year.. the type of child you have.. and see if they can help out.. don't wait until school starts... let the teachers know before hand..maybe they can helpout..
To me it sounds like he is bored in the quiet tasks. He may need something to distract part of his mind. My husband used to study (even through grad work) with the radio on. He said it helped him focus. He may need something to help him focus. It could be a physical object too. I taught a kid once that would tap coffee stir sticks on his leg. He could have them as long as he was not creating a distraction with them. It helped him focus though. You may need to be creative and work with his teachers.
