Helping a Newborn Fall Asleep

A.,

First of all, congratulations on your new baby daughter. I hate to tell you, but at this age it is neither normal nor desirable for babies to sleep for long stretches. Newborns wake often for several reasons. Primarily, they need to be fed often, especially if they are breastfeeding. It is normal for a breastfeeding newborn to feed every 1-1/2 to 3 hours around the clock. They need it because their tummies are so small. It is also important to realize that your daughter's frequent waking is a protective element. Many sleep experts believe that SIDS can be cause by baby falling too deeply into their sleep cycle. They are unable to rouse themselves, and their bodies eventually shut down. Also, try to see it from her viewpoint - she has basically been dropped on an alien planet. It is too cold, too loud, too bright. She has ne never know what it is to be hungry, as she has always had a continuous source of nutrition from her umbilical cord. She has never had a wet or dirty diaper. Instead of being wrapped snuggly, her arms and legs keep flailing around and scaring her. She has never been alone, and when you aren't holding her, she doesn't know if you will ever come back to her. The first three months of baby's life are considered the "fourth trimester." Basically, their brains aren't really developed, so you cannot expect them to fall into a regular schedule or try to train them to sleep. At this age, she needs to be fed when she is hungry, held as often as possible, and allowed to sleep when she can.

Some things that might help...
1. Swaddle. Make sure you do it tightly, or it doesn't help.
2. White noise machines may help. Vacuums are supreme when it comes to helping baby fall asleep. Just put her in a sling and vacuum your rug.
3. Put her in bed with you. She has never been by herself before. In fact, she has always been inside of you, able to hear your heart beat and your breathing and the blood rushing through your veins. She has always been rocked by your motions and heard your voice. She doesn't have any concept of independence. If you are breastfeeding, learn to nurse lying down, and keep your daughter in bed with you, and you will be amazed at how much more sleep everyone gets. As long as you are not drinking, on drugs, or obese, it is safe to sleep with your baby. As they get older, it isn't hard to transition them out of your bed.
4. GET A SLING!!! You cannot imagine what a difference a good quality sling will make in your life. Your little one will drowse happily while your hands are free to tend to your toddler or fix dinner. Don't bother with a front pack carrier - the little strip of cloth that baby perches on puts a lot of strain on her developing spine. Find a high-quality sling like a Moby wrap or a Hotslings Pouch. My very favorite sling is a Mei Tai. My little one basically stayed on me for the first three months of her life. She was sooooo happy. If you want more info about slings, feel free to private email me - I make baby slings and I'm pretty familiar with most of the types out there.
5. Whatever gets her to sleep, do it. You aren't going to teach her bad sleep habits as a newborn. 4-6 months old is about as early as any doctors will recommend starting sleep training. Even Ferber, the father of the Cry It Out method, does not recommend trying to sleep train a baby before 4 months of age. I was very successfull getting my kids to nap in a swing. In fact some nights they slept in the swing! As they got older, we had no problems transitioning them into their own beds in their own rooms.

I hope some of these ideas help. By around 12 weeks, you should start seeing a routine emerging in your daughter's behavior. At that point you can start moving her towards a schedule, including a nighttime and naptime routine. At this age, you really have to just roll with it as best you can. Unfortunately, walking zombie tends to be par for the course for the first few months with a baby. Hang in there - this too will pass and you will sleep again. In the meantime, try to show your baby as much loving compassion for her needs as possible. Just remember that you cannot spoil a newborn. She is not manipulating you. You are not setting bad habits that will follow her the rest of her life. Follow her lead, and she will teach you what she needs.

Best of luck,
S.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi A.,
Congrats on your newborn! I can't speak highly enough about "The Miracle Blanket" I wouldn't have survived without it. If you google it you can get the website. My son who is now 4 mos old had a rough first few weeks..I bought the Miracle blanket when he was 5 weeks old and he has slept throught the night ever since...swear to god!! It basically is a swaddle blanket in which they can not get out of.

Also the noise from humidifer in my son'e room helps him sleep too.
Goof Luck!

I have read every sleep book out there & am a sleep nazi. I am sooo grumpy without my sleep. I also have 3 kids 4 & under so I've been through this a lot in the recent past. At 3 weeks old these are my best suggestions.
1) Get her in a routine of feeding her the minute she wakes up, have a bit of awake time and the minute she shows the slightest sign of tiredness (1000 mile stare, yawn, eye rub, etc.) put her down to train her to fall asleep on her own without feeding, rocking, or any other crutch (except maybe a pacifier if she's a binki baby).
2) Swaddle her. If you can do a nice tight swaddle, a blanket works. If not, Babies-R-Us (and maybe others) carries a blanket with velcro to prevent baby from wriggling out of the swaddle as most are prone to do. It's called a Swaddle Me & well worth the money.

That's about it. At this age, I kept trying to teach my kids how to fall asleep on their own. It's the best way to assure they'll sleep through the night as soon as possible. If I put them down & they fuss, I don't pick them up. If they started to cry, I would then pick them up & soothe them & then try again.

Good luck! Try to get some naps when she does if at all possible. I feel your pain. Hopefully some real sleep is only a few months away.

As the weather gets cooler, it works great to throw a blanket in the dryer for a few minutes and then burrito wrap the baby. I also would run my finger across their eyebrows and down their nose to help get them to close their eyes and go to sleep in a pinch. They never developed any dependence to either technique. A magnetic pet pad fits in a crib well and helps babies sleep better and even helps colicky kids. I can send you a link to give you more info on that all natural technology too. Another tip is to try to wear them out before bedtime. I forced them to stay awake by trying to interact with them as much as possible. When I saw they were getting sleepy, then it was time to get the dryer going.

Good luck. It won't last forever.
Take care,
S.

I used to lay my babies on top of the pajama shirt I wore the night before, which had my smell all over it, and sometimes some milk spill. That way they thought I was still there because of my smell and was enough to soothe them.

Both of my daughters really liked to be swaddled at that age, it seemed to help them sleep better. We also used wave sounds for my younger daughter. My older daughter didn't need it but it helped the second one fall asleep. Good luck, it will get easier : )

My daughter loved to be swaddled. You can get a swaddle blanket ($20 dollars-Babies R us) which makes it easier and keeps them wrapped tight. You may want to try it. Ummm, I got one of those music boxes to put on the side of the crib and she seemed to like the music. I turned the lights and motion off untill she was older and I wanted her to fall asleep on her own. I am not sure if you have tried both of these, but the swadding really helped. She would wiggle out of just the blankets and me doing it, so that is when I bought the one which is more secure. It really kept her snug all through the night. Good luck, It will all come back! :)

We've used "On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo (book) and "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp (video) and loved both. We've used Babywise 3x and Happiest Baby 2x. I highly recommend both. The other thing we did is use bumpers and let our babies sleep on their side. We got the idea from our doctor since our babies were bad spitters. It still isn't recommended, but it made a huge difference. Our 3mo has finally learned to either keep the pacifier in or be fine without it, but it's only been in the last week. I think last Tuesday was her first really good day nap that she wasn't held for and that she was in her bed as opposed to other places. She's been our hardest, but the paci helps. GL and congratulations!

i found "the happiest baby on the block" & secrets of the baby whisperer to have great tips on soothing babies... and reading their "cues" to help them fall asleep on their own... 3 weeks is still pretty small to do much... but i will say, make sure and keep it nice and boring and dark during night hours (or those hours that you want her to sleep). it is tempting to turn the light/t.v./etc. on... but what you want her to figure out is that day time is the fun time to be awake... and that night time is for being quiet and sleeping.

when your baby is older (4-6 mos) you can start getting more organized about sleep "training". i really like "healthy sleep habits, happy child" for this purpose.

Hi A.,
Congratulations on your new baby girl! What a treasure! I can't say enough great things about the book "On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo. We started doing the Babywise philosophy at about 4 weeks with our son. Basically you create a routine for your baby. Giving them full feedings (not snack feedings) every 2 1/2 - 3 hours. Their routine is eat, have waketime, then sleep. Also a part of doing Babywise is to let your baby "cry it out" and learn to soothe themselves to sleep. I have a 3 1/2 month old beautiful boy who has been sleeping through the night since about 11 weeks old... and that is with having major acid reflux and chronic gas problems. His naps are also great! Within that 3 hour time frame, he will sleep about 1 1/2-2 hours. A well rested baby is a happy baby! (And a happy mom!)
If you decide to look into the book, I can also give you a wonderful website to help you out.
I would also recommend swaddling! Kiddopotamas Swaddle Me Swaddlers are my favorite! Good luck to you!

I am a first time mom of a 2 year old, and the best advice I can give you is to get her in a routine. With my son I gave him a bath at the same time each night with sleepy time soap, lotioned him up, gave him his bottle, and put him to bed. If you just keep at the same routine, the babies understand what comes next and are ready for it. The bath may also help her relax so she can fall asleep and stay asleep a little longer.

swaddling and pacifier worked for both of my babies. The swaddling helps them to not startle themselves awake. Good luck.

My first son wouldn't go to sleep until 3 am. I had to slowly work him down to 10 pm by 30 minute increments, so I used the baby swing. The first night, I put him in the swing at 2:30 am and he fell asleep. Then I moved him to his crib. The next night it was 2:00 am, and so on. When he got to 10 pm, I was so ecstatic to be sleeping again that I decided I could live with it!
I would make sure that there is always some noise going on while she's sleeping. The tv, white noise, whatever. Otherwise your older daughter will wake her up.
And this will sound silly, but when I babysat a little boy a few yeasr ago, the mom told me that if he fought his nap, get my hair dryer out and blow it on his toes (on the warm or cool setting, not hot). It knocked him right out. They thought it was some miracle, but I'm pretty sure it was the white noise. Of course, toasty toes never hurt!
Also with my first son, if he just wasn't sleepy at bedtime, I'd put him in his crib with a poster (I cut a square of posterboard about 12x12, divided it into 9 4-inch squares, and drew different black and white patterns or simple pictures in each one--he loved to look at it!) and a baby mirror on either side of him, and his mobile above him, turned on his little dim lamp, and went to bed. He lay there looking around and didn't make a peep, then fell asleep sometime (who knows, I was asleep, hallelujah!) until his usual nighttime feeding. It wasn't until that night that I realized that I didn't have to be looking at him every waking moment.
I hope something helps. You need your sleep!

I have to put in my two cents and recommend you try anything other than the Babywise book. The Babywise method is especially problematic if you are breastfeeding. There are better books out there if you want to let your baby cry it out, which she is too young for at this point.

In a few months, if you do not want to let her CIO, I highly recommend the No Cry Sleep Solution book. I also believe cosleeping is one of the best ways to go. For now, just hold and love and feed your baby as much as she needs it. I am also a big believer in co-napping when you have a newborn! :)

She is so young there are no real tricks. Making sure she is dry, fed and laying her down awake. Try white noise too. I just read an article in the paper saying they are finding running a fan in the babies room can help with SIDS as it is circulating air. Finding they are lacking getting air or get too warm in SIDS cases. So maybe try a fan for the white noise. My kids at 4 and 7 still have one to fall asleep too, in the winter I turn it off when I go to bed but they fall fast asleep with the noise.
As far as staying asleep, well, she has to adjust herself. She is so new and will find her groove. Make sure she isn't gassy or have tummy bubbles, mylicon was a huge help on that one.
Lay her down in her own crib awake and put on music or something and walk out of the room. Make sure she is swaddled too.
Good luck and congrats!! It is a tiring age, but short lived and goes by so fast!

Hi A., go online to www.miracleblanket.com and get one. It will swaddle your daughter perfectly. Also, go to the library and get "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Weisbuth (sp?) and "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp. Your daughter will be sleeping hours at a time in the very near future!

nurse or rock her to sleep, hold/burp for ten to 20 min. then lay down

Get a DVD called Happiest Baby on the Block!! This DVD saved my life and allowed me to sleep, my daughter is 6weeks old now and my husband and I are still using the techniques we learned from the video and we're getting 5-6 hours a sleep in one strech before she wakes up for a feeding then we do it again adn get another 3 hours or so. Great DVD hAppiest Baby on the Block. I hope this helps.