Helping 5-Month-old and Parents Sleep Longer Stretches at Night

Updated on March 12, 2009
N.D. asks from San Francisco, CA
9 answers

Hi Mamas,

Thanks in advance for sharing your experience and advice. My partner and I have a sweet 5 month old boy who, in the past two months, has gone from sleeping 5 or 6 hour stretches at night to 2 or 3 _max_. We live in a studio apartment in the city (planning to move by summer), so we bedshare almost out of necessity. We do have a pack-n-play with a bassinette that the baby sometimes sleeps in for part of the night. My theories have ranged from growth spurt to teething to rolling-over-obsession (compelling new skill) or all of the above, but the truth at this point is I have no idea what's up. The other weird thing is that he's started sweating what looks like 1/4 cup later in the night, whether he's with us or on his own. Like, soaking his clothes, sheets, and my nightgown if he rolls up against me. This just started last week and, even with just a diaper, he sweats so much I'm almost worried about dehydration. It's definitely sweat, not a pee leak. Weird or what?

Thanks a million, Ananda's mom

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I believe in cry-it-out, but not at 5 months, that's too early.

The sweating might be something to be concerned about. Is there any reason he would be too hot? Are you over-dressing him? If not, I would ask the Dr. about the sweating. Extreme night sweats can be a sign of illness. Not to scare you, but it's true. When my son went through his bout with chronic illness a couple of years ago, he had severe night sweats for a couple of months, soaking through shirts at night. This had not happened before he was sick, and has never happened since he got better. The doctors pooh-poohed it, however.

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J.W.

answers from San Francisco on

About the sweating: I don't know. My first advice is to ask your pediatrician asap. My son was big when he was 5 months old and he sweated a lot too but he slept in his own crib on an organic mattress, which has/had no plastic covers etc just a wool puddle cover and a sheet. This all helped a lot regulating his temperature during the night. Sweat can have something to do with digestion and that is why I would ask your ped asap. Contact Vivian Sonnenberg, she is a sleep expert and works with infants in the Bay Area. She was great and helped my son to get the sleep that he and we needed so desperately.If you don't want to spend the money on really great help then go and read some books on sleep habits of infants and find your own way comfortably. Feeding during the night seems to be the main issue and creates a habbit of waking during the night. My son was the best example for that. vivian gave me the tools to overcome the vicious circle. Hope this helps a bit.

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W.O.

answers from San Francisco on

I did not take the time to read all the responces but my first thought was that your baby could be allergic to the fabric, sheets, mattress bad, etc. Double check that they are all cotton. Do ask your Dr. about it and check out a book called "On Becoming Baby Wise" for sleeping longer at night. It might not be for you but it worked wonders for us! Oh and my kids still sweat at night and they are fine. Good luck.

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R.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi N.,

I agree with everything that Jessica said, I do all of those things and my 4 month old sleeps from 9-7 or 8. Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night, but (without using any lights) I either changer her sleeping position or put a pacifier in her mouth and she just falls back to sleep. The other thing I want to stress is the bath before bedtime thing. I first started noticing that my baby would take long naps after baths, so I just started giving her baths before bedtime and I think that helped her to start sleeping longer stretches.

About the sweating...my daughter has sweat a couple of times but never many times in a row so I don't have much of a clue about that. But if you're worried about dehydration try giving him some flavorless pedialyte, that might help.

Hope everything works out for you!

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J.J.

answers from San Francisco on

No sure about the sweats, I'd ask the Dr. about that.
But I have an 8 month old baby girl whom started doing similar @ that age. @ her 6 month Dr. apt the Dr. said that the only way we were going to get any sleep was to have her in her own crib (she was always in a cosleeper next to my bed) in her own room with black out curtains & some back ground noise like a bathroom fan. (assuming you are doing the same bed time routine every night & putting the baby to sleep before 8pm) We still weren't ready to move her until almost 7 months when I just couldn't function sleep deprived anymore. So we made the transition, which actually wasn't much of a transition since we started with doing all of her naps in the crib in her own room & then moved to the night sleep so she didn't take more than 3 days to adjust. She then started sleeping from 6:45 pm to anywhere from 5 to 7am. She did wake for that midnight feeding that she had been used to but we stayed strong & did what the Dr. said-let her cry it out & she stopped waking for that feeding after about 4 nights. Listening to the crying was the hardest part but knowing that it was for the best for all we stayed strong & got thru it. Every am I would run in there to pick her up feeling so bad & she would just smile @ me like nothing had changed. Now she continues that schedule of sleep & we are all rested.
She does wake @ different times of the night but I do not go in unless she is crying hard & then even just to retuck her in, give her her paci if it is out, turn on the heart beat machine or the one that makes colors/shapes on the ceiling & tell her I love her & leave. It takes some work & strength on your part as the parent but it is for the baby's own good. Whatever it take to get them to sleep good.
The Dr. said @ 6 months all babies should be able to sleep 12 hours @ night-which I figured out that means that amount or a little less in their crib-not necessarily asleep but resting. I keep 4 small toys-non choking hazard toys in there & she often will wake to play a little & go back to sleep on her own.
Even if your place is too small, get the cosleeper or crib as far from your bed as possible-they hear your movements & feel your presence. We just went on a trip & after horrible sleep the first night of her in the pack n play in the room with us we had to move her into the indoor laundry room next to the bedroom we were in in a vacation home & she went right back to her regular sleep routine. She needed to be alone.
Good luck-u can do it!

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M.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi N.!

From what I remember, my son was like a natural heater. I don't recall the profuse sweating though. We also co-slept and often he would have to be in just a t-shirt and diaper. It was too warm! Definitely do a double check of your environment - house temp, blankets, clothing etc. He may be simply overdressed and getting too hot. If that is not it, I would make an appointment with the doctor to check it out. It may just be a hormone surge, especially if he doesn't sweat like that when he sleeps during the day.

I would also look to see if you have changed anything in his diet, or if your breastfeeding, your diet. Have you started any medications or are you using anything that could cause him to recieve it?

I hope that is helpful. good luck.

M. S.

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J.C.

answers from Fresno on

Hi Nat,
Well my pediatrition did wonders for my now 2yr old and my 3 1/2 month old baby. The basic thing for them to sleep from 9pm-7am is the amount of calories they eat during the day. Make sure you feed him about every 2 to 2 1/2 hours during the day. He is five months old so he should be eating the stage 1 friuts. And don't let him sleep more than 1 hour at a time during his naps. A bottle is considered a meal for him. And get him out of your bed!!! Just put him in the pak-n-play. That's where my son sleeps! Give him a bath before bed and put him down for the night at 9pm(or when ever you prefer) and if he wakes, don't pick him up! (Unless he is really really mad) Don't let him see you or hear you, use a flashlight or like us we use our cellphone light. Only stay in there for 5min at a time and wait 10-15min before you go back in. It might take a few days, but it will work, I promise! Let me know how it goes please! good luck!

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C.T.

answers from Sacramento on

N.,
Let me start out by saying that I work full time and then on top of that run my own business in the hours after our daughter goes to bed so I fully understand the need for more than 2 hours sleep at a time and the switch from the 5-6 hour sleeping 3 month old to the 2 hour sleeping 5 month old just about killed me.

You are getting a lot of advice from folks who clearly subscribe to the "cry it out" technique of getting a baby to sleep longer at night. This technique will work but it is incredibly difficult to do emotionally, notice each person says how hard it was and how strong they had to be. I really worry about this technique. Yes you get the baby to go to sleep but becuase they are exhausted from all the crying. They cry becuase they feel they need you and you ignore them. When you ignore them what are you teaching them? That when they have a need and they tell someone they have a need, no-one will listen. This results in learned helplessness, not asking to have your needs met. This breaks the trust you have worked to create over these past 5 months. Strong attachment in the first years of life has been shown to have beneficial psycological impacts later in life. We will never be able to meet all our childrens needs, it is impossible but why would we actively choose not to meet the ones we can?

Ask most mothers who have gone through the cry it out method what their gut instinct was while their baby was crying and they will say, to go to my baby. Even here those who are supporting this method say it took self control not to go to their baby. Why would you want to go against your mothering instinct, I feel that is a very dangerous precedent to set in the long run. The one thing my pediatrician told me before my baby was born when I asked for what advice he would give us as parents it was "trust your gut instinct and you won't go wrong". I think these are very wise words and this techniques flies in the face of that wisdom. Read what Dr Sears an advocate of attachment parenting and co-sleeping has to say about the negative implications of cry it out.

You don't have to succomb to a life of sleepless nights while your baby is in your bed keeping you up. Our 5 month old was in a cosleeper or in our bed and we loved having her there but the night time wiggling got too much and we were all exhausted just like you. So like another responder here we gradually moved her into her own crib without any great hassle. The difference is that when she cries at night I still go to her and feed her. Yes it means I have to wake up once or twice a night but the quality of sleep between the wakings is far better. I'm not being kicked, having my nose poked and my hair pulled. My daughter knows that when she needs me I will come. There is a good book called "the no cry sleep solution" which finds middle ground between the cry it out technique and the bed sharing getting no sleep which many of us love but just can't do in reality. The book uses gentle approaches to make helping your baby get to sleep easier without tears and I think for those of us who have been co-sleeping and like that model of parenting it is a nicer fit than cry it out.

At the end of the day as the expression goes "there are many ways to skin a cat". I would encourage you to listen to your gut and find what is right for you.

Best wishes,
C.

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R.P.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi N.,

Congrats on the babe! I'm not sure about the sweating thing...I'd call the Dr. about that one just to get his/her take on it.

As for the shortened stretches, both my babies (now 3 years and now 10 months) did that...started out great and the gaps shrank to very short times. I read (then re-read), "The No Cry Sleep Solution" and totally recommend it. If you want to 'cry it out' read something else...the title says it all. It's loving and gentle. Not instant, mind you, but very respectful of the baby and his developmental age/stage. I think so often we put our wants as Moms/adults/partners onto our babies and disregard where they are at and what they need. My son who just turned 10 months is now sleeping 9 hours straight thanks to that book!

Good luck!
R.

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