Help...I Need Rest!

I go for a walk and if the weather too nasty I sit on the porch and watch the rain or th eclouds roll by. I usually can't leave to house until my husband gets home and even then we are so busy that is is hard to find the calming space. What I have found out is not the length of time but how you use it. SO just remember to take deep breathes and imagine yourself ina beautiful calm place. and then go back home and enjoy your family.

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Hi M.,
We all know that there is no break at home, not in the tub or even when we are going to the bathroom. The only true way to take a break is to leave the house. It will be hard for a while to not worry about what is going on at home but after a while you will finally relax and enjoy yourself. Believe me, your husband will be fine. Husbands will complain that they can't handle it most of the time but if you stand your ground they will figure it out. My husband leaves for months at a time and will complain if I leave him for an hour with the kids. I am quick to remind him that if I can do it for 6+ months he should be able to handle an hour or two. It should end up being a nice bonding time for him and the kids. When I am at the park I meet lots of husbands who are there to give their wives a break. I have even known husbands that took the kids out of the house for two hours every day when they got home. This gave their wife a break to relax and time to cook dinner without all the distractions. The more Mommy time you have the better Mommy you will be. You will find you have more patience when you take time for yourself. Fight for that Mommy time! It's more important than our husband realize. The ladies from my Sunday school class go out once a month and we have a blast just having a great meal, without kids, and having adults to talk to. You might want to suggest that at your church.

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Strangely enough, when I find I need some rest what I really am looking for is some relief from stress and that is not always found in "rest". About a month or two ago, I started doing a 20 minute "easy" (not for me!) Yoga video I found on Tivo. I don't do it perfectly; I just do my best and have found that my body is feeling really great. The great news is that your kids can do this along with you. I also do 30 minutes on the treadmill but you could take a walk with your kids. This exercise helps me to sleep really well at night and I no longer find myself feeling drowsy in the afternoon.

Other than that, if you like to read, pass this love along to your children and have reading time every day. Sit the kids down and explain to them that for 30 minutes a day (or more or less depending on what you think they can tolerate - then keep adding time to it as you are able) you are going to have family reading time. Half of the time will be you reading a book to the kids (it would be awesome if your dh would join in this with you) and the other half of the time will be indepedent reading with each child having reading material of their own choice. Like everything else, your children have to be trained to tolerate this, we are not a society accustomed to be still.

I hope this works for you, it has been a blessing to our family for years. My children (18, 18 and 15) tell me one of their favorite memories is of me reading White Fang to them. Reading can take you places you would never otherwise be able and other than faith it is one of the single greatest loves you can pass along to the next generation. Hope this helps, S.

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Hi M.! You are blessed indeed :-) I had 5 children in 6 years and mastered the art of "me time" each day! First off, I would write down my daily schedule for each day, highlighting each activity with a different color. As you go through the task of writing down your routine, determine when your time is going to take place each day and highlight it with a special color. My color was yellow and my "me time" was from 2-4 every day. Even when my children stopped napping, they did "Room Time" during those hours so I could still have some time to myself. Once you get your daily "me time" scheduled, decide what you will do with that time. Here are some things I did/do during my down time:

1. Read a book that has nothing to do with parenting. I just finished The Kite Runner, A Thousand Splendid Suns and The Other Boleyn Girl. I'm currently reading The Constant Princess. As you can see, I love historical fiction :-)
2. Journal - God calls us to "remember" what He has done for us. No better way than to journal.
3. Watch an old movie
4. Sew - I love to sew and love that not only is it something I enjoy, but it's productive too (window treatments, pillows, purses, etc.)
5. Work in the yard/garden - nothing is more relaxing to me than getting dirty in the yard!
6. Go for a walk - these are some of my best times with the Lord.
7. Take a class at Michael's, JoAnn's, the local community college or community center. Learn a new language, join a book club, become a master gardener, learn how to play the piano or another instrument.
8. Volunteer - find a cause you are passionate about and dedicate some time to helping others. It's funny how fulfilling and renewing helping others is.
9. Train for a triathlon. I completed my first triathlon in August 2007...talk about crazy! Went from a couch potato to "triathlete" in no time at all! It was very rewarding.
10. Take up a sport. Tennis is huge around here, so that would be an easy one to get involved with. Does hubby golf? Take some golfing lessons so you two can play together.

I wish you the best M.! Hope you find something you really enjoy and that brings you the relaxation you seek! God bless!

Warmly - J.

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I started Yoga and the rule is that no one can talk in the basement when Mom is doing yoga. If I get interupted, I stop the dvd, walk them upstairs and remind Dad that now no one is allowed since the talking rule was broken. Whatever arrangement with your husband or a good movie works sounds good to me.

Yoga gives you an amazing sense of relaxation as well as a sense of accomplishment. A bath always left me wanting more time!

I got a great DVD at whole foods by gaiam.com called Yoga conditioning and weight loss by Suzanne Deason. The DVD has 4 levels and she is awesome at teaching you what you need to know as you go. I nearly fall asleep in the last pose - I just feel great afterwards. This is the first thing I could do regularly because I always seemed to not get to the scheduled classes at the Y or whatever.

Good luck and wishes for a much needed relaxation time! J.

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Hi M., You sound like you are very blessed! My advice to get a little rest is to have someone else come in for several hours and watch your children and hop to the bubble bath!If the money is an issue then call a friend and trade babysitting once a week. Keep on serving the Lord and He will give you ideas as never before. Blessings!

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