Help with Toddler Not Sleeping Well

Updated on September 30, 2008
L.F. asks from Oswego, NY
6 answers

I have a 3 year old that has always been a good sleeper, but lately she has been waking up 2 - 3 times a night and waking up really early. She has also been fighting her naps. I know she needs more sleep but don't know how to help her. She is mostly potty trained except at night, so she may be waking to us the bathroom. She is now in pre-school so she needs to get her sleep. Any suggestions.

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K.H.

answers from Utica on

Hi L.
After you have made sure all is well everywhere by talking to her, stopping in unannouced, and checking for shadows on the wall, and dreaming then relax.
Sleeping is my favorite topic to talk about. or maybe I just like to tell my story. Thanks for the opportunity.
Although we have 4 children, two were not sleepers. They are grown now and I can tell you we lived through this but there were times when I didn't think I would.
You don't elaborate about hours so let me just say at 3 none of my four children were napping. 2 didn't nap at 18 months, the other 2 were done napping at 2.
My favorite story to tell is the fact that our 6 month old baby shimmied up one side of his crib and down the other to climb into his brother's twin bed with him. Naturally we thought the older boy was getting him out. We scolded him and all but he still insisted he had not done it. OK after about a week of going in before we went to bed and finding him in his brother's bed we decided to watch. That is when we saw the unbelievable. OK I wish it was on video, but we didn't have one. Anyway that was the beginning of the end. By a year old, he was sleeping about 7 hours in 24, by 18 months no nap which didn't lengthen the overnight like we thought, so now he was sleeping about 5-6 hours in 24. By 2, he went to bed so good at 8 o'clock, but woke at 10. At that point he ran from my face to his dad's the rest of the night. We tried everything but the fact is, he only slept 2 hours in 24. I called MD, no problems. No problems except we were exhausted. He was fine. At 5 he would at least most of the time stay in his room and play, and read. He is now 32, and a father of our first grandbaby born this summer.
You know what he still sleeps as his wife puts it "a bit more than 2 hours in 24" but he gets to care for our grandson at night and she gets her rest. Right now his lovely wife calls it a big blessing.
We thought it was everything from wet, to ill, to hyperactive, to simply driving us crazy, but in the end I guess it is his time clock.
When I asked MD about our younger daughter sleeping only 6 hours in 24, he asked about the other kids and said "well, I guess 6 hours is better than 2, she is healthy and bright".
God bless you
Hope you find a solution and enjoyed my story
K. SAHM married 38 years with 4 grown kids, 37,32, and twin girls 18. Oldest college volleyball coach & entrepreneur loving to put together proposals for companies, new dad is a lawyer, twins are college students with jobs -- one teaching art classes part time at the local art studio, and the other has been hired as the rural correspondent for the local newpaper.

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P.M.

answers from New York on

Don't give up the nap. I am ll for the nap or quiet time. I think it could be teething or other growing pains that will pass. My son is almost three and has been a great at sleep and nap, and recently transitioned from one class to the next at daycare. All of the sudden he didn't want to nap anymore, but we had to stick to our rules, the days that he didn't nap he would be exhusted beyond belief and just not his own fun loving boy. Also the last couple of mornings he started to get up at 6 or 6:30, when he normally is out till 8. i noticed his molars are coming in and they were inflated under his gum. i put some baby orajel on them and this morning he was out till 8 again. It could just be a pain thing or a phase thing, so stick to your rules, if after a while you realize she could do without the nap then be flexible. I would not just count out nap so early, they do need 12 or 13 hours daily at this age.

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D.

answers from New York on

It sounds like she's ready to give up the naps during the day. My son was 3 when he gave up his. What you could do instead is have quiet time. She doesn't have to sleep, but she does have to play quietly in her room for an hour or so. If she appears tired during the day after giving up the naps try putting her to bed earlier (my son is in bed by 7:30 everynight during the week). How many hours is she sleeping within a 24 hr period. She may not need as much as you think anymore. My son averages 10 hrs during the week and maybe 11 on the weekends. So she may not be needing as much as you think anymore. Try dropping the nap. I'm sure it will help. She really doesn't need 12-14 hrs of sleep anymore.

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S.C.

answers from New York on

Hi L.,
Have you noticed if your daughter enjoys pre-school? She may be pre-occupied or energized with the thought of going back to school the next day.

Best,
S.

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C.R.

answers from Syracuse on

I am all about nap time! Have her lay down in her room, try a quiet lullaby CD and tell her when it's over she may get up...on days when she's exhausted she'll fall asleep...on other days she'll come out after 45mins of down time and really that's almost as good....also at three her 4 year molars could be shifting, is she putting her hands and or things back in her mouth again??? You'll see this happens at 2, 4, and 6...those darn teeth :) if it's not the teeth, she could just be overtired or growing...don't give up...she'll adjust back to sleeping...they all go through this...especially before the daylight savings time changes...

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R.C.

answers from New York on

Have you tried cutting down on her sugar intake??
Also check out what's going on in pre-school...maybe something there is bothering her. Question her and make some surprise visits. Maybe she's just finding it hard adjusting to being there.
Are there any changes going on at home??

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