Help with Sons Changing Behavior

Your husband should have some one on one time with your son. Boys do start to change, and they need that quality time with dad. My son went through that and still loves having my husband all to himself, he's 13 now. I get my time in too with him, especially at night before bedtime, he opens up and talks more to me when there's no one around. You might try that with him as part of your one on one time with him. If there is something going on with him..a fight with a friend or something hurtful that may have happened to him, he may be willing to tell you in private. With 2 sisters around he may feel he can't talk about it openly, I know they are young girls, but look at it as a 7 yr old might. I think boys in general are not as open about their feelings as girls (shocker) His changing is part of growing up, unfortunately it happens and as parents we have to deal with these issues the best we can. Keep the lines of communication open with him and I'm sure you'll uncover what is bothering him. You may also want to contact the parents of some of his friends, they may know if something happened.
I wish you well with your son and the rest of your family!
V.

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I remember a simular thing with a friend of mine. she propmted him and then asked him point blank is someone touching you or making threats to you . She seen the hesitation in his eyes and he said "no" so she again asked him and said remember grown ups that hurt children will lie and tell you if you tell on them they will hurt your family. He finally admitted a neibor man was touching him. we never want to think a thing like this could happen but it does. When you see a change in the behavior it is a sign of something real. good luck.

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My first thought was...is someone picking on him now, did something happen at school...my second thought was, he could be bipolar. You may want to first see if there is anything or anyone bothering him and if that's not the case, have him checked out. I've seen my share of happy go lucky kids change into sour pusses because of bipolar disorder. I hope it's not the latter in your case. Good Luck and God Bless.

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It is possible that he may be wanting more attenton from Dad, but more than that to me it seems that something is weighing on him. Maybe he has experienced or been exposed to something that he doesn't know how to deal with or express...it could be another child picking on him or, I hae to say it, but is possible-an adult or older child inappropriately interacting with him or exposing him to something he shouldn't be. Those things all cause drastic personality and outlook changes, especially the negativity, they cause a sense of hopelessness and loss of innocnce...and the feeling of helplessness, not being able to defend oneself from the perpetraitor often causes a child to lash out at people his own age, who he feels he can fight back...hopefully the issue isn't anything as serious as that, but if it is, you'll want to know and address it as soon as possible...

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Try to get it out of him. Something seems to be wrong. Tell him no matter what it is you'll take care of it. Then beg him to tell you. I would do it without your husband in the room. Sometimes boys will tell more without their dads there. Don't give up until he tells.

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I read through the comments you already received. I agree that it's possible someone is picking on him. If that's true, he needs his daddy. They need to talk about how to handle this situation the right way.

We mommies can only do so much. Boys are hard to understand. A good book to read is "Wild At Heart" by John Elldredge. I wish I would have read it when my son was young.

just a thought but he might be getting to an age where he is wanting more "daddy" time. you mentioned daddy isn't home very much, but not exactly how much...boys are...well...boys! and you know, a lot of little boys without daddys have anger issues so, it's possible that maybe he's feeling his absence a little more for some reason right now. maybe daddy could try to take a day or two off and spend with his little man? fishing trip or something? i don't know your whole story but that was just a thought i had. good luck and i hope your sweet boy comes back soon!

Is there a trusted family friend or relative that he could stay with for a few days? It sounds as if something is troubling him and he just isn't sharing it with you. Maybe he would open up to someone else that he trusts.

Good luck,
D.

I have a 7 year old and a 2 year old, also 12 year old and 16 year old. I think my older ones got jealous of the time required to take care of the 2 year old. They just take more time and attention than the older ones, they are more dependent on Mom, even though I love them all the same. I'd say possibly jealous. Possibly also needing more Dad/son time. I don't know what you could do about the jealousy though since it may be nothing you can help. May be not the attention he is lacking, but the attention he sees the sisters getting that is bothering him.

It may just be the age and stage too! My son turns 8 next week and I feel like this past year we've had a lot of that. He really seems to be past it now but kid's go through so many internal changes you never know. It wouldn't hurt to find out if something else is going on but don't beat yourself up over it. As long as he's loved unconditionally he'll be fine!! I also have a 5 & 3 year-old but I don't think that had anything to do with it.

M.,
I agree with Donna. Sudden behavior changes like that usually mean there is something going on. Possibly he's being picked on possibly something else. He may be affraid to tell you, so as someone else said maybe you can ask a close relative and friend to take him for the day and see if he opens up to them. If he is being picked on then the problem should be addressed by both you and your husband. I don't think it should be dealt with by just your husband. Good luck.

I wonder if someone is picking on him. That would definitely change a boy's outlook.

My son is now 7 and is just beginning to do more typical 'boy' things (playing with swords and bow and arrow, etc.) He is VERY attached to his dad. It seems that my role as his mom is more for stability and love, and he craves boy time with his dad. It could be that your son is feeling that he wants more time with his dad to do boy things - just the two of them.

Hey,
I can sympathize with you. My 7 yr old daughter has also taken a turn for the dark side this summer. I can't wait until school starts. She is being so mean to everyone. She says this is the worst day ever ALL THE TIME. No matter what I try to do to make things fun and exciting everyday. I think it is just the age. I sure hope it's not hormomes yet. I have been tempted to call the doctor though. I do think the function of her behavior is for attention. I started taking her on Mommy dates frequently and she has improved alot. Try some one on one time and get on the front end of his upset to give him some ways to deal with his frustrations and disappointments before they happen. I took my daughter out to dinner just the 2 of us and we talked about how to be a good friend and what to do when friends fight. Good luck. School starts soon and hopefully the structure back in the day will improve things too. Oh sleep has also helped. We went back to school bed times again.

This seems to be typical of 8 and 11 yo boys, so perhaps your son is an early bloomer. LOL It will pass, I am sure. It sounds like you give him plenty of time, so I wouldn't make him the center of attention, because then it just reinforces his attitude, even if he never intended it that way. Just persevere, and tell him that if he wants to keep privileges, you expect him to have a better attitude. If he needs to talk about something, then you are there and want to know about it, and to talk. If he chooses to keep it to himself, then the family shouldn't have to suffer, and he needs to work it out his own way, and join the family with a positive attitude. HTH, a mother of 7 that seems to find this kind of thing contagious. LOL

Hi, M.. I feel for you as I have a just-turned-eight year old son who showed similar behavior. I think a lot of it is the age. I think they feel very independent, but struggle with still wanting us around. They are able to do so much by themselves, so we let them, but then when we are needing them to do something for us, they are less than willing. I think it is great you spend so much time with your son, because I think they need that too. I do find it hard to do when they just want us to sit and watch them do something. As a mom, I sit and think about all the other things I should be doing. My son enjoys board games, too, so that helps us do something fun together. Sometimes, I feel like when we go somewhere, he doesn't count that- he wants one on one time. It makes it tough when you work full time like I do and have a couple free hours in the evening to divide between housework, two kids, and a husband. Such is life. Hopefully, this is just a phase boys go through. I have heard age 7 is one of the hardest ages- maybe this is why. Good Luck!