9 answers

Help with Son's Classmate

Hi moms--I just need help dealing with this situation at my son's school. He is almost 11 yrs-5th grader and attends a private Catholic school. There is a girl in his classroom that likes all the boys in the class more than they want her to. SHe bothers my son, for example telling him he can't talk to other girls, (even about schoolwork) and if he does, then she starts bothering those girls and threatening them. Another thing, for example, she sits right in front of him and has very long hair, so she puts her hair all over his papers and just pesters him in a flirty way and he hates it. My problem is that she has a hearing disability, so she gets a little extra sympathy from the teachers, which is understandable. But I have seen her at parties and stuff, and clearly she knows what she is doing. I feel like we pay too much for him to go to that school to be miserable about her. I told my son to tell her that I was going to the principal if it doesn't stop, but he says she will cry. THe principal knows there are issues with her and has told him to please tell her if the problems continue. My son is so soft hearted, he doesn't want to start any conflict. There is only one 5th grade class, so I can't switch his class. She does this to other boys in the class too. Should I contact her mom (whom I have never met) or just let my son handle the best he can? Any advise will be GREAT!!

What can I do next?

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If it were me I would set up a meeting with the principal and the girls Mom. That way there would be a mediator and hopefully no hard feelings.
Hope it works out,
J. G

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Hi C. - Wow, sounds like a predicament for sure. Being an elementary teacher prior to having my sons I think you should address it with his classroom teacher. I would ask his teacher to move his seat for starters, she can move the whole room around so as not to draw attention to your son. I would also address the class as a whole and talk about respecting each other. If that doesn't help the situation then I suppose you could speak to her mom or the principal. She may be a pest but maybe she doesn't know how else to behave with her peers. Remember that ALL mothers feel that their child can do no wrong or maybe they believe them with all of their heart...nothing wrong there, that's a mom's job. But her mom may turn the situation around and say that your son is bothering her. Who knows.

It is wonderful that your son is so sensitive to others, however, he does need to stand his ground, be firm and tell this girl to 'back off'. Adolescence is a tough time. I hope you get some good advice here and can help your son resolve this situation.

Good luck.

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If it were me I would set up a meeting with the principal and the girls Mom. That way there would be a mediator and hopefully no hard feelings.
Hope it works out,
J. G

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If my daughter was behaving that way I would 100% want to know. You need to tell her Mother so she can have a talk with her about appropriate behavior, personal space, etc.
Good luck!

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Does the teacher not realize what is going on? I feel for the girl's disability but sounds like she is using it to do what she wants.

The teacher should seperate her when she does these things, especially the hair thing. I know teachers have a lot on their plates, but I expect my children to not be tormented while they are there.

I would really let the principal know that if something isn't done, I have the intentions of contacting the girl's mom. (which probably will cause lots of problems, especially if that parent think their child is a little angel-which by the way she acts, she probably rules the roost at home) Schools should handle this issue though and not parents confronting each other.

Good luck..

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What I want to know is WHERE THE H-E DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS did she learn how to behave that way!!!!!!!!!!!! I would normally say go to the mom, but be prepared not to get anywhere, the mother may be the one teaching her daughter how to behave that way, whether directly or indirectly.

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why can't they just move the little girl so she's surrounded by other girls on all sides of her so she's not tempted to torture ANY of the boys in the class???

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Hi C.,

Your son has a right to feel comfortable at school with out being pestered.

I would start by making a phone call to your son's teacher with out his knowledge to see if the situation improves.


Teachers do have alot on thier plate and he/she might not be aware of the situation.

I will be interested to hear the outcome!

Best of Luck!

C. Roeschen
The Trinity Group
Keller Williams
###-###-####
____@____.com
www.TheTrinityGroup.org

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C.,
i know if my daughter acted this way i would want to know from the source just how precocious my sweet little girl is!!!
What's wrong with just letting the girls mother know?. Maybe the mom has had this situation come up before, or maybe not.?
Isn't it the Parents job and not the schools job to curb and or stop this kind of behavior in school?...These are our kids not the schools kids.
stop the mom next time you see her and approach it just like you approached it here. Direct, classy, respectful, and honest.

good luck to your son....you know i have also watched these young preteens at work..Today's little girls are very agressive...not all, but some. And i have seen little boys taunted like this on the playground..
It needs to be addressed to the parents not the school.. the school can only do so much.

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