Help with Sleeping Issues! - Wyoming,MI

Make her some camomile tea or sleepytime tea to drink before bed..look it up in herbal books for other suggestions--health food stores/book stores/ or library

Hi B.,

Try a big girl bed. My daughter was in it by 12 mths and she has only fallen out of it once. Get some cartoon caracters sheets (or a theme) Make a big deal of it being her bed. Try using a sippy cup for night time just put some water in it. I never had a problem with my daughter staying in her bed but my cousin did with her son. They just put a gate up at the door so he couldnt get out and for a couple of nights he fell asleep on the floor and they would put him back into bed. He started waking up in his bed so he started falling asleep there. Yes you might loose a little bit of sleep till she gets the hang of it but in the end you will get lots of peace and the sleep both of you need. Good luck!!!

Try using a sippy cup at night. My daughter is 2, and I still allow her to have a sippy cup of milk everynight before bed. As for her sleeping... maybe try a big girl bed. It might make a difference if she feels like it's a choice to be in bed. My daughter was 12 months when we switched her from a crib to a bed. It took about 3 nights of constantly putting her in bed all night, before she stayed there on her own. It made her feel "special" to have a bed like mom and dad's. Celebrate with a new pillow or a new blanket too. Hop this helps.

I'm sorry that I don't have any advice on the sleeping in own bed issue. Does she nap in her own bed? If not, that might be the place to start. When my son was younger, we did the rocking to sleep. We didn't believe in the "let them cry themselves to sleep". We even tried it for awhile. Just not for us. He would get a bottle of formula, then milk at 1yr. One of us would rock with him & then put him to bed. Usually all it took to keep him asleep was a little bit of patting on the bottom. If he woke in the middle of the night, he took another bottle & went right back to sleep. He never slept straight thru the night until he was almost 13 mnth old. We weaned off formula to milk & got tired of running down stairs to warm it. The 1st night he got cold milk was the 1st night since birth that he slept all night (9-10 hrs). We eventually just put him to bed with a bottle. I know "they" say not to, but it worked for us. Eventually, we switched it to water. He was fine with that. When he was 2 or so, we switched the bottle to a sippy cup. Still with water. Then, one day several months ago, we realized he wasn't getting a cup. He is now 3 1/2 & sleeps 10-11 hrs a night with no cup. He does, however, have a Winnie the Pooh hanging blanket that he stills grabs ahold of in his sleep. My long winded point is that if you're going to try to transition her to her own bed, now may not be the time to take away the bottle. Try to start weaning till it's just water. I don't want to disrespect your husband, but I've noticed that it's seems like we want our children to grow up too fast. Your daughter will most likely let you know when she's ready to give up the bottle. I hope that some of this rambling helps.
Good luck
K.

Hi B. -

You wrote that you have issues keeping Anzleigh in her own bed at night. Does Anzleigh crawl out of her crib? It sounds like you cave under the pressure of her tears. You have to be the parent and make up the rules for her to follow. Right now you need her to sleep in her own bed at night. I would start by letting her play in there a little during the day before naptime. Let her nap in there as well if she doesn't already. And at night make it as painless as possible to put her into bed. Give her a bath, a story, and then her bottle and put her in bed. Is there a nightlight in her room? If not, you may want to get one.

You're in for a long night the first few nights. She is going to cry and cry and cry and scream and fuss. You can't respond to her - if you do, she is going to cry longer and harder. Within a few nights she will go to bed without issue. You can't feed into her negative behavior.

She knows that she possesses a certain amount of power with her tears. If you start ignoring the tears (especially the fake ones or the forced ones) for doing what is right for you, she will eventually learn that crying is not how she gets what she wants.

Good luck with getting Anzleigh to sleep. Your girls have great names, by the way! And congratulations on the new addition. Are you hoping for a boy? :)

Cris

Hi B.! Does your 11 month old take naps during the day in the crib? I found this to help with my son-especially since you have another baby coming and will have him or her in the bedroom too. Is there a favorite toy or music you can put in or near the crib to soothe her?

As for getting off the bottle...my opinion is that firm but loving may be the best approach. You may have to let her cry it out a few nights and stand your ground on no milk in the bottle. It took me about 1 week of tears-extremely difficult to do, but after the week he was fine. Good luck on finding a method that works best for your family!

First off with the sleeping through the night issue. It could be because she sees you when she gets up at night and then she thinks that hey I want mamma. She needs to be put and situated in her own room and bed before the baby is born. Even if that means for the first few nights she cries when you put her in there. I know that it will break your heart and make you feel bad, but after a few days she will be fine. Also a 1 year old shouldn't be taken off the bottle yet. Yes slowly throughout the year until she is two or close to it give her sippy cups more than bottles, but babies still need a bottle at a year old. Don't let your husband pressure you into taking what is right now one of her comfort items away. Especially considering she knows that you are pregnant and going to have another baby and she is already starting to feel the jealousy. Since you are pregnant again and going to have another baby soon you definately don't want to change to much it will be bad enough for her that she is going to get a new sibling and Mommy and Daddy will be paying attention to this other baby. A baby that has to many changes before or during having another baby come into their world will start acting out and misbehaving just to get attention because they think that is the best way to get attention.

I had similar problems with my youngest. Our doctor suggested the following.
1. Give the bottle in the bedroom with the lights off holding the baby and cuddling.
2. When the bottle is done, put the baby in the crib but keep your hand on her rubbing her back or just resting on her stomach. She will fuss. Just stand there without looking at her or talking to her and keep your hand on her until she quiets and/or goes to sleep.
3. Once she can handle being in the bed with your hand on her, take your hand off but stay next to the bed without looking at her or talking to her.
4. When she's comfortable with your standing next to the bed, move to a chair that's at least three feet from the bed. Same process.
5. Next move to the doorway, same process.
6. Finally leave the room.
This was pretty hard and the doorway part lasted for more than a week, but by the time we were done he was able to be in the crib at night by himself and he learned to sooth himself without a bottle or attention from me or my husband.

Good luck!
C.

Please please don't give her a bottle with milk or juice in it at night. Whether or not she has any teeth, this reduces the pH of her mouth and becomes a feeding ground of bacteria. If she has teeth, she will have decay and there is nothing so preventable as keeping her from getting decay. She would no doubt have to be put to sleep to fix "baby bottle tooth decay" which is not only expensive but traumatic for both of you. If you give her a bottle, please only put water in it.

Why don't you put her in a different room? Having lack of sleep is enough to turn anyone into a short tempered, frustrated, overstressed mom. My daughter hates to go to bed as well, but when we have a routine of rocking, maybe giving her a sippy of cold water, soft music and a story, ours does better then.

I hate to sound harsh, but let her cry. Unless she is climbing out of her crib, the only way for her to get out is if you are getting her out. I know it's hard to hear your child cry, believe me, I have been there as well. But, over time, the crying will last less and less until she goes right to bed. It's the tough love thing, yes I guess it does start a lot earlier than we all thought :)

HELLO, I WOULD TALK TO HER PEDIATRICIAN AND SEE IF 1 BOTTLE AT NIGHT IS WRONG. I THINK AT 1 YEAR SHE SHOULD STILL BE GETTING THAT MILK, SHE IS STILL JUST A BABY. TRY HOLDING HER AND GIVE HER A BOTTLE AND SEE IF SHE WILL FALL ASLEEP IN YOUR ARMS AND THEN LAY HER DOWN IN HER BED. LEAVE A NIGHT LIGHT ON FOR HER AND MAYBE A FAVORITE TOY SO SHE DOES NOT FEEL LIKE IT IS A PRISON. I WISH YOU LUCK. GOD BLESS

I agree with every one else you have to pick your battles but im not one to talk my baby is 17 months and still in my room due to space issues. I have had many sleepless nights with her waking up and not wanting to sleep in the bed. I would lay at the end of my bed only 2 feet from her crib she still saw me and would scream for a while but would eventualy go to sleep.

After that problem i started putting her in there and letting her put herself to sleep but i dont sleep in my room either my waterbed is uncomfortable so i sleep on the couch. She still takes her bottle to bed but also a sippy which she prefers most times. I am bieng lazy with her she is my last baby last of 4 so i havent harped so much about the bottle yet. I will soon be taking it away she only has one to sleep anyway.

Now i ask her if she is ready to go to bed and she will nod yes and grab her sippy and go to her room, things will get better if you can move her out of her room do so. And if you want her off the bottle all the luck with that but let her scream as long as she isnt choking or a drastic cry let her cry. If your in bed and she wakes up pretend you dont see her if she doesnt have your attention its just like with temper tantrums if they dont have an audiance they wont do it.

Good luck

GET HER OUT OF YOUR ROOM!!!!!! I wouldn't focus too much on the bottle right now. Which one is more important, getting off the bottle or sleeping? Pick which one you want to fix first then work on the other. If you try to change too much at one time it will be much harder for her.
Start a bedtime routine. In HER room, read some books, have a bottle, cuddle for a few minutes and go to bed. Do it the same way every night.
This is a great book that my Dr recommended to us "Healthy sleep habits, happy child".
good Luck!

B.,
first question why is this child still in your room? Is it a lack of bedroom issue? Does kiylah have her own room? if so you need to do some switching up for a few days. Move Anzleigh bed into Kiylah bedroom. Any doctor will tell you 3 nights and your problem is solved. Put her to bed and give her a sippy cup only. ( doctors do not reccomend a bottle or a cup at bed time.)Tell her good night and shut the door. She will cry for awhile.Do not open that door! Each night the crying will get less and less. I had to do this. Our son was in our room from the time his was born. he wouldn't sleep through the night, he would lay awak for hours watching T.v with Daddy. Daddy was teaching Tanner his adult bed time routine. It was a bad habit to break. But my doctor said Put this child in his own room and do as I just told you to do. The first night was the hardest. I think I ended up sleeping outside his door. But the next night he didn't cry so long, by the forth night he was fast asleep. We teach our children these bed time routine. By the time a baby has doubled thier birth weight. A baby does not have to be fed in the middle of the night anymore. Most baby's do wake up and cry, because it's a learned behavior. I seen a huge change in our sons behavior. he was getting 12 hours none disturbed sleep. He was like a new child. So much more happier. good luck, it's not going to be easy on you.

First, congratulations on your 3rd pregnancy! AND you have my sympathy for being a pregnant mom to a young toddler and a 5 yr old - that can be terribly exhausting even with the best of sleep. :)

Second, the bottle at night thing. Your 11 month old is still very much a baby, so your husband needs to back off about the bottle at night (unless there are dental issues). Easy for him to say, but I don't hear him volunteering to gradually help her wean off of the bottle. The truth is that babies and toddlers have a very strong need to suck - that's why you see 3 yr olds who still have pacifiers, toddlers who breastfeed well past the first year, toddlers with bottles. Sucking is NORMAL, developmentally very appropriate, AND it is the way your daughter soothes herself. Truthfully, I would not choose this as my biggest battle right now.

Third, about the sleep issues. This would be the biggest issue for me if I were in your position. Did you know that sleeping 5 hours straight *IS* the medical definition of "sleeping through the night"? It's true - sleeping through the night does NOT mean your baby goes 7pm to 7am without a peep. I know that's not what you were hoping to hear because you NEED to sleep since you're pregnant (my gosh, I'm always surprised by just how exhausting 1st trimester can be). And I wish I knew more about your sleeping arrangement and what you're currently doing (are you bringing her into your bed? does she go back to sleep then? is it possible for your or your husband to transfer her back into her crib when she's back in a deep sleep? how much does your husband help with the nighttime parenting - can he help her soothe herself back down instead of you?).

Also, it's important to keep in mind where your daughter is developmentally - if she's just learning to stand up/cruise/walk, if she's teething, if she's starting to talk, ALL of these big, exciting changes can cause her to wake more frequently at night and temporarily screw up her sleep. http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/02/qa_what_are_sle.html

Unless you are truly at your wits end and have exhausted all other more gradual, gentle approaches to molding your daughter's sleep, I personally am not a fan of the "cry it out alone by yourself" method because all babies have different temperaments & personalities. Some babies have no problem with crying it out and it only takes a few nights or a week of a nightly 15-30 minute crying jag (I think these are the parents who are so enthusiastic about recommending it to others!). But other babies will cry for hours at a time every night for weeks in a row with no improvement, and it's terribly traumatic for the baby and the parents, and finally everyone is just more frazzled and exhausted at the end, with no better sleep for the baby or mom. (http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/06/babies_and_cio.html)

You know your baby best, and yourself best, so only you know whether bringing your baby into bed temporarily or using "cry it out" (or something in between those 2 extremes) would be worth trying.

Here's a great link called "The Quick & Dirty On Sleep":
http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2005/12/quick_and_dirty.html

I always find myself coming back to this since it's written by a mom (Moxie) who is in the trenches like us, and she seems to be wonderfully practical, realistic, and doesn't advocate one single solution for everyone. She really takes into account the different temperaments of parents, babies, and families.

I hope you are all able to find a creative sleep solution where everyone's emotional AND sleep needs are being met!

Wow! I can clearly remember those days! My girls are 7 and 8 years old now, i never thought anything would work. Every child is different and noone can predict what will work everytime. A method that worked well for me was to create a strict schedual at bedtime. We never waviered from, ever! I would give my daughter her feeding at like 7;30, then a bath at 8:00, and then we'd go lay down for a story (something slightly boring) at 8:45. I remember thinking it would never work, but after a month or so she started to fall asleep before I finished the story. Whatever method you choose to try please remember that even though this is a trying time it wont last forever. As for your need for sleep, try getting a nap in before dinner, you definatly need your rest now! Good luck.

Hi there,

Is there any way you can put your daughter in her own room? My husband and I had trouble with our daughter until we moved her into her own room. She was actually 8 months old before she could sleep through the night. We actually had to resort to letting her cry it out and it only took a week. It was the hardest thing I've ever done but I am so glad we did. She is now 15 months old and a wonderful sleeper. As far as the bottles go, my general feeling is there is not a problem with babies having a bottle until they are well beyond a year old. If you're going to do something drastic with her sleep situation, it's probably best to allow her to keep whatever she finds comforting.

Hope that helps!

I've been very lucky with the sleeping issues. First, get her out of your room asap. My daughter was in her room in her crib by 3 weeks. She slept through the night starting at 8 weeks. I tell everyone about the sound machine that I use. White noise is the one I use in her room, it's not all that loud, but it does leave the hum in the room that allows her to get into a deeper sleep and stay there. By the age of 6 months, she was sleeping 9pm-9am. And it has continued. She even takes a 2 hour nap. I think the machine has been the one item in my life that I could not live without. As far as the bottle goes, start to mix half formula with half Vit D milk. Continue to hold her in a feeding postition, and try a sippy cup instead of a bottle. Good luck and congrats on the new one.

B., you are going to have to take baby steps with your daughter. Try putting her to sleep first, then putting her in her bed. I have to do that with my 13 month old son. But do one thing at a time, some babies do not adapt to a lot of changes at once. If she only takes one bottle a day that's not bad, but start trying the sippy cup at night, and don't get frustrated if she doesn't like it at first, she'll feel your frustration. Try to explain to your husband that some children take longer to get off the bottle, and this does not mean that their is anything wrong with your daughter. It's not like she's three or four! :)

B. -
I've been pretty luck with my daughter I guess. She has had her own room since she was 4 months old. When staying in hotels or camping we have had issues with putting her to bed because she can see us and wants to be with us...out of sight, out of mind works for her.

I'm trying the 'crying it out' and I've NEVER let her cry where it's been a histerical cry. I'm in her room the minute that starts up. My daughter is 18 months now and she's down to a quiet whine once I leave the room and it lasts only about 10 minutes. It may take awhile, but your daughter will start sleeping through the night.

As for the bottle, try telling her that it's "all gone" and ask her if she wants her sippy cup instead. Whether you give her milk or water, it's probably just the soothing sucking that she wants.

Good luck!