Help with Sleeping in Own Bed ALL Night

Sleep issues are tough. I keep sleeping bags in my girls' closets (now ages 7 and 10). When something wakes them, they are welcomed to roll it out on the floor next to my bed. This way, we're both getting what we need: they need comfort and closeness, I need sleep. Good luck!

My son was a terriable sleeper. Every night he would end up in my room. I would move over in my sleep to make room for him. I started stickers as rewards. That worked for a while then it wore off. So then I would not let him play his Gameboy and ever since then he has slept in his bed. If he doesn't he doesn't get it. znow if he has a bad dream he wants me to sleep in his bed so he can play his game. It's been about a year.

Just a quick thought, could you cover up the green light with some electrical tape, so she would not see the glow?

With my daughter, who's now 6, we had to commit to a week of bad sleep. We just took turns going in and putting her back. And I found that a good kick under the covers got my husband up for "his turn" :) It did take the full week of night wakings to get her to realize that sleeping in our bed was no longer an option. With my twins, who are almost 2, my son gets up on a regular basis. He's still in a crib, so he screams and cries for one of us to come get him. For awhile, we were taking him out, rocking him, and then putting him back in his crib. Now we see that he expects this, so a couple weeks ago, we just started going in, making sure everything was fine and not even picking him up. We just told him it was bedtime and goodnight. Yes, he often woke up his twin sister, and sometimes she cried, but again it took about a week for him to realize that he didn't have the option of getting up for some middle of the night comfort. As for the little green light, black electrical tape works very well to cover it up, too. Good luck!

Let them sleep with you. They need your comfort and you'll all sleep better. You may need a bigger bed. If you don't have enough room, move your husband. He's not helping you anyway.

Instead of allowing them to lay with you, go lay down with them in their beds instead; this way, they fall back asleep in their own beds and you can go back to your own. My husband and I take turns. Overall, we found that our little man got more comfortable and confident sleeping in his own room and bed - we rarely have problems anymore.

Sorry I am of no help with getting them back to bed as I am having serious issues getting my daughter to GO to bed b/c she is scared of her room and these storms have only made it worse but I can comment on the smoke alarm. This started as an issue for us due to a computer game with Arthur. We then stayed at Key Lime Cover and of course there was one right above the bed! My husband made light of it (no pun intended) and said it's a special "night light" and it reminded him of Christmas and they started singing jingle bells. Silly I know but it worked! Good luck, that is a tough one!

Have you tried letting them sleep together? My girls love it! They are 4 1/2 and almost 3. We had problems with a bed full at night too. So we started out slowly ab out a year ago by having slumber parties on Friday night, then both weekend nights. Now, they sleep together every night, unless they are being naughty or just haven't had enough sleep. They sleep in a queen size bed in one room and a twin in the other. It helps my two with their security issues and they take care of each other. Mommy and Daddy are much better rested and the girls respect our boundaries.

I have had this with both of my girls. What worked for us is that I have a sleeping bag set up next to my side of the bed and that is where they would go. They would sleep the rest of the night and so would I. When I asked the doctor about it, he told me to do what was comfortable for the family. When I tried to force my first child to sleep I'm her room, she was miserable, ip all the time and consequently. So was I. Like you, my husband slept all night, hmmmm? Anyway, let them start in their room, but knowing they have an option if they need it may ease some fears and everyone can sleep. They will sleep in their room, when they are ready. The comfort of knowing you are there is what it is all about. My little one's fear is that I won't hear her. I have a 14 year old who is fine and sleep great in her room and has for a while. My just 5 year old, goes back and forth. She naps there no problem, but nighttime is frightening, so this is the solution that has worked for me so everyone sleeps. The best to you! They just need to know you are there for them, unconditionally!

My son does the same thing. Im eager to read your responses.

Oh, my, the responses here are all over the map. Spanking kids because they will not sleep in a particular space? I can hardly believe it. How important is it that kids sleep in the "right" place? Answer: not important at all. I'd suggest making a pallet (old quilt or sleeping bag will do) next to your bed and letting them sleep there if they get scared. The idea you want to communicate is, yes, your fears are real, but we can't let them interfere with everyone else's sleep. We all need sleep and that's the bottom line! Eventually they will get over it and go back to their own beds, but in the meantime everyone will get the sleep they need.

Sorry that you have this situation. This is defintetly a rough time, but remember that YOU are the parent and you need to take control. Which means probably a few more sleepless nights. Maybe start a chart up with your twins. For every night they sleep in thier beds all night, they get a sticker in the morning. Talk with them about what thier prize will be after they reach a certain amount of stickers. My kids like charts and stickers and they usually respond really well. When you lay them in thier beds and they cry and scream.... let them. They are trying to manipulate you and if you don't acknowledge it, hopefull with the chart and your no response, it will work. The green light issue, maybe you could put a piece of clear tape over it and ask your daughter to pick out a sticker that is her favorite. Then have her stick it on the piece of tape over the light. You could also start a chart & reward system with her, too. FYI...about waking up the entire house...white noise is always a good thing. You can purchase a fan and keep it on in thier rooms to block out the noise. It works for our son, he is upstairs with his 6 month old sister who still wakes up at night. He sleeps right thru the crying. Good luck! Hope this helps!

Hi A., my name is C. and I also have twins. Mine are 3 1/2. We are also encountering the same problem, I was going to post a question too. I am glad I am not the only one experiencing this. I belong to a twins club and I am going to send out an email to them too, if I get anything I will let you know! If you ever want to twin talk email me ____@____.com

If they are afraid of the green light, then try to remove the light. I'm sorry you're having trouble. My son is 9 and still asks me to sleep with him. Sometimes I do, but not all the time. Kids just have fears that we will never understand. Since I co-slept/sleep with my children, I don't have a problem with sometimes sleeping with them on the weekend when I don't have to get up for work or having a sleep out, like put sleeping bags on the floor and camp out in your house. Your husband will sleep through it anyway. Maybe just one night a week so that you won't have intimacy issues with your husband.

I have a similar situation with my 3 year old son. What I would suggest is for you to put a night light in their room and the other suggestion would be for you to let them get in the bed with you and when they go back to sleep put them back in their own beds.

My granddaugther was doing the same thing about a year ago, at age 3 1/2. I put a sleeping bag down on my bedroom floor and told her that if she wasn't sleeping in her own room, then that's where her bed was. It took a few nights of being firm and telling her she is NOT sleeping in my bed, but after that she started coming in my room without waking me, and sleeping on the sleeping bag.

Once we tackled that part, then I started a sticker chart for each night that she stayed in her own room, with a reward after a few consistent nights.

A.,

We still go through this with out 4 1/2 and 3 yr olds. What we have come up with is making a "bed" on the floor next to our bed. Now when they wake up, for whatever reason, they are not allowed to wake us up. I keep a pillow and extra blanket under my side of the bed...they simply walk in, make their bed on the floor and go back to sleep.

Although we'd love for them to stay in their own rooms, it's just not in the cards right now...so this is the next best thing for us...they get the comfort of sleeping BY us, we don't get woken up OR have to squish together in bed.

Hope this helps...for now.

Sara

Unfortunately, it will take a few nights of you being consistent with the children and giving them the same message by getting up, don't speak, put them back in their beds, tuck them in and go back to your room - which will be several times a night I'm sure in the beginning. I realize this will be hard and probably mean a sleepless week, but if you really want to crack it, every time they come into your room you need to get up and walk them straight back with as little communication as possible. You have to repeatedly do this until they get the message. It's very much like keeping a child in the naughty corner/seat. Children have a lovely way of pulling the guilt strings on your heart by telling you they are frightened of a light, shadow, etc. I have always taught my son that our bedroom is our one private space and not for children. Should he wish to enter our bedroom during the morning, he is always to knock first and await a response. If he doesn't knock and just enters, he receives a black mark. I keep a reward system which is made up of stars and black marks. Each black mark = an hour of no activities (games, tv, etc). 30 stars = a $25 gift of choice (it took my son 2 months to achieve 30 stars).

Good luck!

Good Luck....I am a full time working Mom and I have a 10 year old and a 5 year old....My older son stopped coming into our room when he started full day kindergarten....but the like one continues everynight so my husband moved out of our bed to sleep in the older ones room with him and the little one sleeps with me..This is the only way we get any sleep thru the night otherwise I have the same problems of the fits in the middle of the night...I have working friends doing the same thing....sleep is important....so make do until they get into school and are wiped out at night.

Advice from a mom of a 17 year old.

My sister's son had this same problem. (He is 15 months older than our son.(My sister and her husband let him come in their bed every night. When my nephew started school to keep him from coming in their bed at night my bother-in-law would have to sleep in my nephews bed all night. This went on till he was in 5th or 6th grade. they never had another child can you guess why.
When our son moved to his toddler bed my husband said lets get this straight right now. I love my son but he has his own bed and he is not sleeping with us every night. When he would come in our room my husband would take him back to his room. My husband and I believe in have one on one talks to see what the problem is. They would have a little father / son talk and he would stay in bedroom. He usually only got up if he did feel good, had an accident or because of a storm. We do not believe in yelling at a child or spanking for something like this. He or she has done nothing wrong. They are just testing the waters. What can I get away with. Each child is a young person and will one day be an adult and may treat his children the same way.

My husband and I think that because we were firm but loving is why he loves going camping with the Rangers, and why he went away to camp at Timberlee or was involved so many different activities in his young life. And why he is so good with children or as we say young people.

Just food for thought...
Best of Luck

We taped a penny on the light on our humidifier. We also put a flap of cardboard over the smoke detector light, but just taped it on one end. That way the light is deflected, but we can still see the light to make sure it is working. I like the idea of having a pillow and blanket on the side of the bed. Then they can feel safe and not wake you up. You may have to practice a few nights, if they wake you up they have to go back in there room for awhile and then try again. Chucky Cheese has a potty training chart, where the kids get free tokens for satying dry, they might have a stay in your bed chart too. You could do a search for chucky cheese reward charts and see. Good luck!

I still keep a baby gate at my 3 1/2 year old's door during the night for this reason. Once they realize they aren't going to be able to sneak into bed with you, they will stay in bed (or sleep on their floor). Maybe you can cover the fire alarm light with a small piece of tape or something??

Try developing a reward system to keep them in their room. Three/Four/Five nights in their own beds in a row and they get to pick out a toy. Make a chart and let them put stickers on it every morning. Smiley and sad faces always were a great motivator at our home. I, too, have twins. Hang in there.

My daughter started the same thing a couple of months ago and she said the same reason. She was scared of the green light on the fire alarm. I put a piece of dark paper just over the light part very small and don't block the rest of the alarm. Viola no more light, she did still get up out of habit, but a couple of nights of putting her back and yes a little screaming and crying and she has been good the last couple of weeks.

We also started doing fire drills at home so she knows what to do if it goes off. They just started talking about this in pre school so now she is all about fire saftey and we have to do fire drills at least once a day. Ha Ha better safe than sorry.

Our twins are almost 4 and we have battled sleep with them at times. With ours it was more just waking up, occasionally they would come into our bed. We started a "Good Sleeper Chart." On the chart wrote the night time rules (not that they can read them) but to be consistent in what we told them every night. We would read the rules before bed. They would get a small reward each morning as well as a smiley face or sticker on the chart. At the end of the week, they would have a special reward, for ours, it was getting to go to the movie theater. Good luck, I know how hard it is when you have interrupted sleep!

My husband and I are taking a parenting class with a group at our church and they just addressed this issue last week. Our leaders shared that their 3 yr old use to come to their room everynight wanting to climb in bed with them. We were encouraged to spend 5-10 minutes a day doing what is called "couch time". We sit on the couch (you can sit wherever) and just talk to each other. The children are taught that this is mommy and daddy time, so not to interrupt, but they are welcome to play around us, in fact you want them to be around to see you talking. The thinking is that if children see that their parents are spending time together and that their relationship is good they will feel safe. It takes time in the beginning to teach the children not to interrupt, but it is worth it and eventually they will look forward to you and your husband having couch time. (MIne are 6,5,3 and 15mo) If we keep our relationship with our spouse the most important one our children will be happier and more secure. I mentioned that our leaders daughter used to come in their bed every night. After only a week of having couch time it stopped! They have since had 5 more children (have 8 in all) and I would say that they have the most delightful family and have the most precious marraige relationship. I hope this helps. I can give you more info about the class we are in if you would like. Bless you!