Help with Preteen

Updated on November 03, 2008
M.K. asks from Saint Helens, OR
32 answers

Hi everyone,
I need help with my daughter she's 12 and in March started her period. That month she was on it all but 4 days, the next month was not much better. I started becoming worried that she'd become anemic or something and took her to our family doctor. She said she was fine...her body is just trying to regulate. The problem now is nothing has changed she is basically on it all the time and I just feel so sorry for her but I don't know what to do?????? Should I take her back to our doctor, or to a ob/gyn or what?

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So What Happened?

Thank you to eveyone who responded to my problem. I did take her in and had her iron level checked.
She doing fine her periods have became more regular.

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C.L.

answers from Medford on

Please take her right away to a ob/gyn. They may need to help her get regulated for a while with birth control pills or patches. No woman or young girl should have a period that long.

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P.H.

answers from Portland on

I would recommend getting her looked at. From my early experience, please take her to a female. Modesty is such an issue at that age and the last thing she needs is to be embarrassed by having a male (doesn't matter if he's a doctor) look at her body. Good luck.

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S.D.

answers from Seattle on

I would take her to an ob/gyn right away. If that doctor is unconcerned, I'd throw a fit =) or at least go to another doctor. That's not normal and not ok. If she can get it under control now, I think she will have fewer issues later on when they can really get past the point of "leaking" because I don't think that's what you're concerned about really. Good luck. =)

More Answers

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

M.,

I don't think that this is normal. It just doesn't seem right to me. I'd get a second opinion, and a third/fourth/etc. Your daughter needs some help.

Melissa

2 moms found this helpful
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T.P.

answers from Eugene on

I have Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome, one sign of it and other hormone problems is either a late start (I was 15) and a period that never ends (most of my life). Take her to a ob/gyn, it is important to catch hormone problems early. She is menstrating, which means it time for that appointment anyway. And yes, anemia is something I battled for years, and can be related to never ending periods. Lots of graham crackers, raisins, and what kicked my anemia is cooking in cast iron pan!! (seriously). Your family doc is not really equiped to handle this if it is a hormone issue.
Hope this helps...
Tam

2 moms found this helpful
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R.B.

answers from Medford on

Just a couple of natural remedy ideas:
1. If it's anemia do you know about chlorophyll? It's really good for anemia since it "unlocks" the iron that's already in your blood. You can find it anywhere vitamins are sold.
2. For regularity of cycle you can try having her drink lots of raspberry leaf tea. You can find it anywhere medicinal teas are sold. You can even make it yourself really easily if you're lucky enough to have some raspberry bushes! Just dry the leaves and steep in hot water for 5 minutes. 3-4 cups a day might help regulate her cycle.

Hope that's helpful!! Sounds rough, I hope you find a solution soon!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.R.

answers from Portland on

I was irregular forever, but never with that constant of bleeding. You could give your family doc another try, but I agree that a gynecologist is probably the answer.

I'm in my mid-thirties and just last year finally found an OB/gyn who listened to my concerns and actually answered a question that has been a problem since I was 22. His name is Thomas Flath, he practices at Emanuel Hospital here in Portland (and I think he has a second office). My first visit was the baseline examination etc., but my second appointment I told him I didn't want an examination, I wanted to talk about symptoms, and he actually took me into his office and out of the exam room (and I never had to put on the gown ;) ). If you/your daughter are open to a man as an OB/gyn, I like him a lot.

You can probably ask at any gyn office for the first visit to be interview-style, especially to get your daughter used to the 'stranger' who presumably is going to have to check her rather intimately, and to help you guys wrap your heads around the potential fears while nobody is feeling the additional threat of being naked.

Definitely get her help, though.

(I think, by the way, Julianne on Dancing with the Stars said Monday that she has endometriosis ... I'm not sure if she misspoke, because then she also said she was getting her appendix out Monday ... but if it ends up being something like that, and if your daughter is into popular culture, it occurs to me that it might help her to know which grrl icons are suffering with her--and how successful they can be despite/with menustral(?sp) difficulties.)

1 mom found this helpful
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J.W.

answers from Seattle on

A 28 day period is more than a little suspect. Either take her to a pediatrician or to your ob-gyn. This is something that a pediatrician who has a background in endocrinology or your ob-byn needs to look into. If her pituitary gland is messed up, everything else is out of sync. Her thyroid, all of her glands, which include her ovaries. Puberty is such a traumatic time, all these changes going on and no control, ugh! Give her all the support and understanding you can.

1 mom found this helpful
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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

I would take her to back to your doc to get at least an iron count test. Then tell what is happening. Hopefully the doc will not recommend putting her put her on hormone at that early age. But before that I would see a doc that works on hormones and early development. Could be an ob/gyn.

Also with this heavy a period it is h*** o* her body. I know I had such a periods. Don't listen to the doc when she/he says it isn't. Do some research about foods that contain iron and include them in her diet.

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N.Z.

answers from Portland on

Wow! What a shocker! Your poor daughter! I would take her to another doc. If it were me I'd go in, I used to have periods that would last 10 days, stop for 2, then gush for another hour or so without prior notice. That was hard enough, I can't imagine never stopping! I'd become depressed and not want to go anywhere. How is she doing about PE? Are her clothes getting ruined? Is she getting embarrassed at school? Take all these things into consideration. Then take her to another doc.
Good luck!

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A.H.

answers from Portland on

I had the same experience as a child at 13. They did exploratory surgery through my belly button and found that I had endometriosis, which was very rare for that age. they put me on birth control pills and I regulated, had much less bleeding and pain. I am fine now and have no problems, but couldn't imagine if I had gone many more months without pills to help regulate myself as having a period at that age is terrible and inconvenient. Good luck to you both and I hope it all works out well.

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S.M.

answers from Seattle on

I would take her to a GYN that specializes in adolescent gynecology. But, in the meantime, one way to lessen the flow is to take Motrin. Some women respond very well to motrin taken every 6 hours for 1-2 days before she starts her period and while she is on her period. Make sure she takes it with food to lessen any stomach upset.

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S.S.

answers from Seattle on

She's having her period all the time?? That is not normal at all. I remember that I had my period for 21 days straight and when I finally went to the doctor, he said it was a wonder I could walk what with having so much bleeding!! He put it down to stress and I think I went on the pill for a month (I was about 22 at the time, though, so you might want to explore other options). You should definitely take her to your family doctor and if your answers don't get satisfied there, take her to a gynaecologist.

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A.C.

answers from Portland on

Yes! This happened to me in Junior High all those years ago! It was so horrible. I was always bleeding, and heavy...and had a couple leak-through moments at school, it was pretty embarrasing. Anyway, I was too embarrased to even tell my mom, and I eventually became anemic. My doctor recommended birth control pills, so I was on those until I was regulated, then I quit taking them, and I have been very regular ever since! Maybe do some online research on WebMd or something....there may be an all-natural alternative!

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K.R.

answers from Portland on

Hi M.,

It sounds like it's time for your daughter to start seeing a gynocologist. The only answer for regulating periods that I've heard of was hormones (birth control), but most parents want to avoid that in a young one. Hopefully an ob-gyn will be able to help you find a less chemical solution that that! A specialist would be able to spot problems or give you some help to control the situation. More iron to keep your daughter from becoming too anemic might help until you make the appointment. You and your daughter are troopers for not accepting the first opinion when it sounded off to you! Good luck with this!

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W.E.

answers from Portland on

M. - What I suggest is what I plan to do with my now 9 yr. old daughter. When her period begins she will start taking a fully natural and fully safe endrocrine support product that I currently take and LOVE it! It helps my body regulate itself- no more PMS, more energy, able to handle stress and because of these I am happier and relationship with husband and I is much better too!

If you are interested, send me your e-mail address and I will send you info. on the product. - W.

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L.H.

answers from Seattle on

Hi M.,
I would take your daughter to an Ob/GYN. She can try hormonal birth control (pills, patch, ring, etc) to regulate her cycles, however, after blood clotting disorder/thyroid dysfunction have been ruled out via blood work. Good luck!

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B.Y.

answers from Seattle on

I would take her to an OB/GYN. If nothing more than to put your heart at ease.
I know that when a girl first starts it can take a while to get it going the way that it needs to.
I wonder if birth control pills would help to regulate it.

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J.C.

answers from Seattle on

Good for you for being persistant - the specialist you need is an endocrinologist --- ( they deal with glands, auto-immune things like diabetes - and those issues in young girls relating to the enormous glandular earthquake that changes us from little girls to emerging women --- it's an earthquake tht often comes along with some glitches. My own daughter ( now 37) had the opposite problem- her periods didn't start til she was almost 18 - ). I discovered tht MY endocrinologist was the one she needed to see after a bit of trial and error --- I promise- tht's the specialist she needs --- What geographic area are you? _ I go to an excellent endocrinology clinic in the Northgate area - and of course there's Childrens' - keep us posted, please -

love and blessings-
J.
aka - Old Mom

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B.B.

answers from Portland on

I would take her to a specialist. I work for a gyn oncologist and we have worked a lot with Dr Lisa Diepenhorst at the Women's Clinic in Portland ###-###-#### who specializes in adolescent gynecology, the doctors I work with all speak highly of her.

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A.L.

answers from Spokane on

I would find a good ob/gyn to take your daughter to. Possibly a female since she may need a pelvic. That can't be healthy for her physically or emotionally. 12 is a very hard age, I recall getting my period at 13 and it be horrifying for me. Have you talked to you daughter to see how she is handling it, I can't believe that her body is trying to regulate this much, this long. I know how much just 5 days take out of me I can't imagine being in a fragile age and dealing with it all the time. Good Luck to your daughter.

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C.H.

answers from Portland on

I strongly suggest that you take her back to your doctor and if your doctor gives you the same diagnosis get a second opinion. Anyone being on their period ALL of the time doesn't sound normal to me at all. I'm no expert but I have been a woman all 54 of my years and have known many women who have had irregular menstrual cycles but I've never heard of this especially in such a young girl.

Sincerely,
C.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I would take her to an ob/gyn. I would get her checked out and talk with the doc about the pill as this can often help regulate and lighten up periods.

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A.S.

answers from Seattle on

I had the same problem when I was young. After I had children they regulated years later on their own, but as a teen I went to an OB and he put me on a birth control pill to regulate it and it didn't start working until about the fourth or fifth month of taking them. I'm sure if that hadn't worked they would know just what to do so I would suggest getting her to the doc. NO ONE wants to be on that "special" time of the month that frequesntly. Also, I was anemic when they took my blood and had to supplement iron until I regulated. Good Luck!

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C.P.

answers from Bellingham on

I have a 12 year old daughter too who has wonky periods for the last 2 years. Hers are super heavy flows. Everyone tells me that she is not too young to take to the gyn so that is what I would suggest to you as well.

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A.M.

answers from Portland on

Hi M.,

This happened to me in Jr. High. It was AWFUL. My flow was so heavy (and because I was new at it) that I was constantly having accidents. I think it was fairly damaging to my self-esteem at the time.

I did end up having anemia as well. But I did have other symptoms. For example - I became really tired. My body ended up working itself out, but in the meantime my mom had me eat a lot of dried apricots and other foods that provide iron naturally.

I'm sorry!

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B.H.

answers from Portland on

Hi M..

I do think you should take her to an OB/GYN. That many days on one's period is concerning. And if you're concerned about it, imagine how much your poor daughter may be concerned about it. She must think it's the worst thing ever. So even if the OB/GYN isn't concerned, it will be nice to have someone ease your mind (and your daughter's) about when a normal cycle will begin.

And it's another opportunity to have a conversation with your daughter about her body. Let's face it, as our kids get older, it's harder to keep them talking. If you can have open conversations about this, then hopefully she'll feel that she can talk to you about anything. And that's every mom's goal...right?

Love love love to you and your family.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

M.,
Please do take your daughter back to a doctor. Better yet an OBGYN. I had trouble when I was young (12) with my period regulating and eventually (at 15) had to be put on a birth control pill. Life was SO MUCH better for me not having a constant period, worrying that I was going to bleed through, limiting myself from activities that I enjoyed for due to cramping etc. PE class was really awful for me. Please do your daughter a favor and have her reevaluated.
Good luck!
M.

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A.D.

answers from Portland on

M.,
I don't blame you for being concerned. I would take her to an ob/gyn. This doesn't sound right to me either.

Make sure this gynecologist is FEMALE. Men may have a doctors degree, but in my experience and opinion, they know squat about females.

I feel for her.
Many blessings for a resolution.

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J.A.

answers from Anchorage on

Hi M.!
Have you had her thyroid checked? Hers could be overactive. Mine was the complete opposite - late in teens, short, light period, very irregular. But I had my thyroid checked (a decade later) and my body is now regulating itself.
Hope this helps somewhat....
Take care,
Jess

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L.N.

answers from Portland on

Hi M.!

I would recommend taking her to a midwife. Midwives actually do all gynecological tasks like paps etc. and know all about women's (and therefore girls') bodies and menstruation. I don't know where you live, but I love the midwives at SW Family Physicians: ###-###-#### or http://www.swfamilyphysicians.com/index.html. I actually travel from SE to them, and they're worth the 20-minute drive. Good luck to you!

Best,
L.

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H.P.

answers from Seattle on

I would take her to an OB/GYN or at least get a second opinion because this does not sound normal. At least it is not pleasant for your daughter.

Good Luck!

H.

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