September 10, 2009,
R.J. asks from Woodbridge, VA on August 23, 2009
Help with Potty Training When the Child Doesn't Mind Being Wet
I know we get potty training questions a lot but I am going to ask again. I am trying to get my son potty trained before he has to go back to daycare on the 8th. He doesn't have to be completely trained but at least be able to tell you he needs to go. Anyways, he is not afraid to sit on the potty. I have been trying to put him on the potty every hour or when I noticed that he is doing things like he has to go. He will go pee mostly I rarely catch him when he has to poop. My problem is he doesn't let me know he has to go and it doesn't seem to bother him that he is wet or messy because he won't even come tell me when he has peed or messed his underwear. I have been putting him in underwear. I only put him in pullups at night or if I am washing his underwear. I even started putting him in underwear when we go out. It just doesn't seem to bother him and I don't know what else to do. I was rewarding him with candy when he would do something in the potty, but a few times I did not have candy and he did not seem to care. Is it just a matter of he is not ready and he will do it when he is.
2 moms found this helpful
S.T. answers from Washington DC on August 24, 2009
timelines are so important to parents for a huge variety of reasons, but they just don't matter to kids. try to remember that his cheerful attitude will serve him well in so very many aspects of his life, and he WILL go on the potty when he's ready. you just can't force some things, at least not without lasting negative consequences. i'd work on relaxing and enjoying him right at the phase he's at now.
S.M. answers from Washington DC on August 24, 2009
If he doens't mind being wet, then he is too young for potty training. Relax about it and put him in diapers if he is not trained. Give it 3-6 months and try again. No day care providers in their right minds would expect a 2 year old ot be potty trained NOR should they expect he will cooperate about wanting to use the potty (and telling them he has to go). He CAN tell them, he just isn't going to all the time.
I have found most moms start to potty train at age 2 and get really excited becasue their child goes and shows and interest. But most don't have success until closer to age three if not after. Kids have to have control AND desire. And if he doesn't, just wait. You are making your life a lot more stressful.
My daughter day AND night potty trained around 34 months within a week with only 1-2 accidents. Great, right? No! Those first few months were awful "Do you have to go? Are you sure? Really? Okay, pull down your pants... no pull them down all the way. Now sit down. No, don't touch that. Don't touch that either. Are you going? Well, stop singing and hurry up. Don't play with the toilet paper. Now wipe. No, wipe better. No not like that. Okay get down. Pull up your pants. Please pull them up NOW" And that isn't even including hand washing!!! Wait until he is ready and able and WILLING!
PS - All tha tbeing said, the method that worked for me and many friends is what I call "Naked Weekend" Stay home with no clothes, make a big deal out of it, giv elots of juice, and let him figure out tha tit is hard to play where you pee, especially if you have to stopa nd clean up your own accidents :) My guess is, he is still too young, but when he is ready, that might do the trick.
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W.S. answers from Norfolk on August 24, 2009
I'm inclined to say he is probably too young. 2 years old seems to be the earliest any of my friends' boys trained, but it is more common for it to be around 3 for peeing and longer for full training. It won't hurt to keep trying, but unless he is showing more than passing interest in going into the potty, you might consider waiting until maybe 2 1/2 to try again in earnest. Mine was trained for peeing by age 3 but it was another year for pooping so don't be discouraged!!
P.P. answers from Washington DC on August 24, 2009
I'm going through the same thing right now. The naked method has worked best for us. He just wears a shirt around the house. He will stop playing and run to the bathroom. When he had underpants on he just went in them. It's been a couple of weeks and he is almost done. He now tells me (sometimes) that he has to go when he has underpants on. I'm looking forward to getting rid of diapers.
R.H. answers from Norfolk on August 24, 2009
What i did with my daughter is i stopped putting her in underwear at all while we were at home. When we left home i put her in underwear. When you do this you need to remind how horrible it feels to have wet underwear out in public. Keep extra pants and underwear with you so you have a change of clothes. The reason i did this was when we were doing thins we had to stop and change clothes and this amazingly in annoying to children. They want to help with you shop or play in the play area or what not and it's a horrible even to have to stop and change clothes. Good luck
R.N. answers from Washington DC on August 24, 2009
I just achieved this with my daughter....2 1/2 and I had the same exact problem. It is mostly when they are ready I think but my sister, who has four girls and 1 boy gave me a good tip. She said, if you are putting underware on then that have some kind of character or animals, and most underware do, then tell him that he doesn't want to pee or poop on them and get them dirty. And when he does show him what he's done. When I started doing this with my little girl she started letting me know when she had to go....it still took a little while but it eventually happened. Good Luck!
C.D. answers from Charlottesville on August 24, 2009
Sounds like your son is doing great for his age! 2 is young for a boy to be fully trained. Everyone told me that when my son was 2, but I was still feeling frustrated about his potty training. In order to keep my sanity and not be overwhelmed, I just went back to pull-ups till he became more aware and stopped having so many accidents. He finally started making it to the bathroom to pee at the age of 3. But it took a few more months to start pooping in the toilet with any regularity! I was really tired of cleaning dirty pants and asked all my friends what to do. I tried everything! As it turned out, it was all about his own time and schedule. One day he just got it. He is now 3.5 and most days has no accidents.
Just relax! It's going to be a while. The most important thing is to not make the toilet an issue and a fight. When he's ready, he's ready! There's really not a lot you can do to force it, just be encouraging and patient.
C.I. answers from Washington DC on September 10, 2009
I know you put this question up ages ago. But I was just surfing around a little bored. I hope you've already resolved the problem, but if you haven't here's my 2 cents. ------- It kinda bugged me that everyone said just because your son doesn't care if he's wet means he's not ready. My son didn't care AT ALL! We potty trained him at 25 months (this past April) and haven't had much back sliding at all. Since he didn't care if he was wet I made it very very clear that the characters on his underwear were VERY sad when they were wet. With a LOT of repetition it worked like a charm. The thing is everyone says that boys don't potty train till there 3 or 4, but remember... that's a NEW thing in our society. It was not that long ago that an un-pottty trained 2 year old was un-heard of. They can do it if you have the time and patience and are a stay at home mom. If you want to chat more about all this let me know. Good luck!!
T.H. answers from Washington DC on August 24, 2009
My only advice is keep at it, and try to keep your sense of humor. My guy was the same way, poop head to toe and he could care less. They get it eventually, although at 5 we are still reminding him it is time to go. He gets involved in whatever he is doing and doesn't want to stop to use the potty, and he is such a sound sleeper he is still in pullups at night. Good Luck!