Help with My Screaming 10 1/2 Month Old

Hello!!
I have two very vocal children as well!! They are screamers. I feel for my neighbos. What I do when they get going and I want them to stop, I turn it into a game. I scream (something really silly) and it gets them listening to me. I then ask them to copy me.. by saying.. your turn.. or you do it.. and we do that for about a minute..
once you start doing it to, it's no fun anymore!
I then usually turn on some kid music and have them tap to the beat instead. Doing it with them for a minute or two and then distracting their attention works!!

E. B!
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My 2 1/2 year old boy gets really loud like this at times. We tell him that it is hassling our ears and put him in his room. Then tell him that he can come out when he is finished. At your daughters age, maybe put her into her crib or a pack n play (something in another room) and say the same thing; "you are hassling my ears - you can stay here until you are done"

First make sure she is not in pain, or frightened of something.
Then fight fire with fire. Get a whistle and every time she starts her screaming routine, gently blow the whistle just enough to be louder than her screaming, so she can hear how annoying it is. After a few times of this reaction from you, she should stop.

Sounds like completely normal behavoir for a 10 month old. Mine did it, and my friend's son did it - all around 10 months. I never even thought about trying to flick him to make him learn to stop. He just stopped on his own - it's a normal growth step: finding their voice and seeing what it does. Generally if my son would screech, I would do a toned-down screech with him, laughing along, and we made it a game. He knew it didn't bother me, so he never tried to do it just to push my buttons. If we were in public, people generally laughed and said he was training to become an opera singer. Then he got interested in other things, like learning to walk. I say to just leave her be, play along - make it a whooping game or singing contest for fun. And go ahead and buy yourself some GOOD earplugs when it gets to be too much. I promise, you won't need them for too long!

My friend just went through this with her daughter this past weekend. Her daughter was like crying and having a fit for an hour and a half. And she had been screeching, whining and crying a lot for a few days so she took her daughter into urgent care. They said her daughter had an ear infection.

My daughter turns 10 months tomorrow and I have recently had her doing this too!! Like others who have responded, I mostly try to not react to it (postive or negative). Sometimes I do join in and we do a "call and answer," where I change the length or pitch and she copies me, then I make it quieter and quieter - it actually works half the time!
I have also noticed that she tends to walk round and round the house really belting it out when she is overtired.
Hopefully, as many moms have assured us, our little ones are just going through a phase.

Thanks for the question. My daughter (4m) is already starting to screech and I have feeling she is going to be a screamer when she learns how.

I personally don't like the idea of physical punishment like flicking. That would be teaching her that it is ok to flick people. Don't be surprised if she starts flicking others, and think about trying to explain why it's ok for you to do but not her.

Have you tried leaving the room? I have a friend who followed this advice and it worked beautifully: when she starts screaming, quietly get up and leave the room.

If you are in the car, pull over and quietly get out of the car and walk to the front of it so that she can see you but you can't hear her.

What will happen is that she will get the opposite reaction she is looking for. She wants attention, and you will be giving her silence and time alone. Don't prolong it and make her cry. She'll catch on fast and stop the behavior long before she moves into distress.

Dear C.,

This is very normal behavior for young children. My grandchildren were trying this out on me last Saturday. Here's what works for me over the years.

Screaming is appropriate outdoors. Never indoors or up close to someone's ears. So i remind them of this. Even while they're screaming I say this "indoor voice please" in a quiet voice. They usually stop screaming right away to hear me!

If they don't stop right away I ask them if they'd like to go outside in order to be able to be more free with their vocal chords.

Children are wonderful! Best wished to you.

K. C.
RevitalizeCoaching.com
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I flicked my kids in the nose, just enuff to hurt. The nose is very sensitive and a little flick goes a long way!

Wear ear plugs and let her scream because it can be very therapeutic for kids to do this. There are lots of times that I would totally be screaming my head off if I could. Toddlers are not inhibited like us adults. If she doesn't get to complete this phase in her life, she will make up for it later.

If she is screaming because she is in pain, deal with the pain. If she is screaming because she has discovered her voice and the power that she has over the big people in her life, you have a problem. I hate it when they do that!

It may not be the best plan, but I dealt with that horrible sound at the source. When they were in the mood to screech, I tried to be close enough to flick their cheek enough to smart, but not bruise. I did accidentally end up "wounding" my son with my wedding ring once, but he soon got the message that his action would bring unpleasant consequences. Fortunately, this is a stage unless the child learns to use it to manipulate. Then it becomes a real problem.

Your daughter is likely just discovering how much power she has over her environment. Try to teach her more positive ways to get your attention. Always respond when she is happy and talking nice and do not give in to anything if she uses that tone. When they simply would not give it up, I would just put them in their crib and shut the door. Then, as soon as I heard something that I accepted, I would go in and get them.

You will survive this, but boy is it annoying!

I have a 10 1/2 month old son, and he does the same thing. He does not do it constantly, but when he does i do what one of the other people said to do. I scream with him. He will scream and then I will scream and turn it into a little game. He stops shortly after. I think its kinda fun as he is discovering his voice and makes all sorts of wierd sounds. The screaming is irritating at times but we still have fun with it. I figure at some point he will stop and grow out of it and i will miss it, so i try to make the best of it while i can.

I was thinking of posting a question similar to this too. My son is 9 mo. and has been screaching since he was approx. 5 mo. I wish that he'd jabber instead of scream, but all I get is dada. I too found that a little puff of air in his face gets him to stop that particular scream, but he starts in with another. The air is helpful in public (i.e. church). The screaming is so bad sometimes that my daughter (2 y.o.) was playing with playdough the other day and my son started screaming to get our attention. When I looked at my daughter a couple minutes later she had put playdough in each ear like ear plugs. She's never seen ear plugs and I had to tell her that we don't put things in our ears, but I still found this very funny. Other people think that his screaching is funny, but after this long, I don't. I tell them that I hope that he has a wonderful career someday because he'll be buying the rest of the family hearing aids. Good luck and I'll be reading your responses!

It's so difficult to be calm with a screaming baby! So breath slowly and deeply and first calm yourself so you can share that peacefulness with your crazed daughter. Start with a word or two that works for you--I used "be calm" or "you're safe" in a slow and steady tone, repeated again and again. And I found I had to use a very quiet voice but in order to be heard, had to get close to her ear! If you can do this with a focus on easing your daughter's discomfort, and really calming yourself as you calm her, great! If not, I think you have to keep a check on your own frustration and protect that baby--putting her in her crib (thank goodness she's still small) while you walk away and collect yourself before proceeding may save you both grief. In the long run, your relationship to her will curtail the outbursts. Just be certain that you don't reinforce the screaming by giving her food or an object she wants at the time.

hane you tried screaming to because my daughter used to do the same thing i would do it to and she would stop and look at me like i was crazy or i would turn the music up then she would stop and look at me like i was crazy

i can tell you what i have done in the past about screaming children, and it has ALWAYS worked!! every time she starts the screaching, just flick her in the mouth!! it will NOT hurt her, i promise....it will scare her, maybe annoy her, but it will not hurt her!! after a little while of you consistantly flicking her in the mouth, she will stop!! every child i have done this to, or have had friends do this to their children, it works in a week, no longer!! good luck with what ever you try, and i hope you get a good response!!

Our two year old still screams. If they are doing it while crying then it is because they can't communicate what it is they want so they get frustrated. We always tell her to call down and use her words. Obviously a 10 month old can't do that. But try to figure out what it is she might be trying to tell you. And if it is a happy screaming then that is totally normal. They are just figuring things out. I would look at some development books. They might have some good tips on how to get them to not be too loud. And please don't take the advice to flick your child. That will only teach them that it is okay to do that to other people. Good luck.

If you find an answer let me know. My also 10.5 month old girl does the same thing. It is driving me insane. I have found nothing to make her stop. My thought was that she learned this behavior at daycare because I've watched a now 2 year old girl do this constantly. My husband will blow in her face (not hard) when she is screaming and it makes her stop for a second but then she starts right up again.