Help with My 5 Month Old Please!

Please use caution with eliminating night feedings. Contrary to what the popular parenting books say, some babies just need night feedings because they eat smaller more frequent meals. Reflux babies that eat less more often actually seem to do better.
I hear your frustration and have experienced it with my first. I read a lot of books and felt like a bad Mom because I couldn't ever get my daughter to "follow the rules". She nursed often (up to 7 times a day until 1 yr), she napped no longer than 45 minutes and awoke frequently at night. Finally, I realized that I could either resent her and get angry every time she cried at night or I could treasure those moment knowing that soon they would end. Gradually she began sleeping longer after her last tooth came in and by 19 months she was finally sleeping through the night. Now she's 6 and the best sleeper in the house, sleeping 10-11 hours at night every night and falling asleep without help since age 3. Some kids just don't fit the mold. She didn't, but she's a terrific, secure and loving kid. Now I'm up several times a night with her 16 month old brother and don't sweat it nearly so much because I know this too shall end. Sometimes as parents we have to change our expectations, do what works, and go with it. Please see http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300.asp for some good advice about infant sleep. Midwife mom of 3

Keep patterns that work. If what you are attempting is only making life harder for your children or you, and keep making things harder for a week or two, try something else. And be aware that your baby is changing daily, and patterns that work this week may not work so well next week.

Adults have all sorts of ideas about what kids should need and should be able to accomplish, thoughts like "self-soothing" or getting a child to make it through the night on fewer feedings. These theories, which do seem to work for some children right away, are often crushed by real babies living out their real needs. Some babies meet those ideals, but the resulting expectations that this engenders simply make life harder for hopeful parents and distressed children who don't fit those molds.

There are many children who can't get through the night without at least one feeding until they are well past one year, sometimes older. During growth spurts, many babies who have been good sleepers wake up hungry, and then gradually settle back into sleeping through the night. Some babies, no matter what their parents try, do not sleep through the night until age 2 or 2.5, and some of those never learn to be okay with lying there alone in the dark, self-soothing.

My daughter was simply unable to hold enough in her tummy to last longer than 2.5 hours for another feeding, day and night. If I coaxed her to nurse longer, she'd simply upchuck the extra few mouthfuls. This was 40 years ago and pediatricians weren't talking about reflux then, but that's probably what she had. She was miserable (and so was I) when she had too much at a feeding. So for her first year and a half, I fed her on demand, day and night. We co-slept, and she'd nurse while I dozed, and it was lovely for us both.

I don't know what you mean that you cannot spend a long time on naps. Children need the sleep they need for optimum health and development. Here's a really informative site on sleep for children: http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/sleep.htm

I hear that your hopes for working your children into routines have been disappointed. As common as this problem is, it's still really hard, and parents running on not enough sleep is one of the biggest challenges when raising little ones. This phase will pass, and you will eventually have healthier kids with fewer night disturbances, and your memories of how tired and frustrated you feel will fade into the past. Hang on, you'll get there.

Added: before you consider using "Babywise," please read these reviews by parents who tried it and rejected it for very good reasons: http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Baby-Wise-Giving-Nighttime... . This author has been pretty thoroughly discredited as an "expert," even though some babies are able to adapt to his proposed schedule.

My 14 month old had acid reflux as an infant and was on Previcid until he was about 11 months old. He still doesn't sleep through the night, and I'm okay with it. My first son (now 3) started sleeping through the night when he was 8 weeks old, which I understand now wasn't because I did anything "right:;" it was just because it's what worked for him. My 14 month son usually wakes up at least once a night, although there are times where it might be more or none at all. Most times it's due to hunger; some times it's because he just needs a cuddle. Either way I'm okay. I figure he'll eventually outgrow it. I don't care what other people say or think about it. I don't care what the pediatrician says about it. It's what works for us. Yes, it's hard (oh so very hard some times) to not get enough sleep each night, but my little boy's happy and secure and that's all that matters to me. All in all, just do what your gut tells you to do. If you want to get up cuz you dont' want your LO to cry, then go for it. It's your family and kids and you know better than anyone what's best for them.

A.

I have 4 children. My youngest is 6 months old. She is one of my beautiful princess's. = )

1st I can say I know how hard this is for you.
2nd I can say DO NOT STOP THE NIGHT TIME FEEDINGS. She needs to eat.
3rd, my advice is to let her sleep with you at night. That is truly the best way ( for us - my family ) to get some great sleep.
Our little princess sleeps well in the middle of daddy and mommy.

Please take it one day at a time.
Enjoy her while she is so little. They truly do grow up so fast.

Best wishes.

You didn't do anything wrong here - you've got a terrible set of circumstances that are making your life miserable. I really give you credit for still being able to write coherent sentences when you are exhausted, worried, and frustrated!

I think it may be hard to eliminate 2 night time feedings in a baby with these issues. Most babies can "make up" for the absence of night feedings during the day, but your baby may not be able to eat as much at one feeding without getting pain or spitting up. I certainly wouldn't eliminate BOTH feedings at first, but I don't know how you can get her to self soothe for one feeding (skipping it) and then getting the 2nd one "on demand."

I think she also must be exhausted because she's not getting quality sleep especially during naps.

You could add a babies' supplement (not a formula) to calm the reflux and ensure that she is getting all the nutrition - that would prevent you from having to go through the lengthy process of eliminating foods from your own diet to hopefully find the right ones, and it would eliminate the need for invasive GI evaluations from a pediatric GI specialist. She is not really allergic to any food - she just lacks the proper balance in her system to allow her to digest & process something, which is triggering the reflux and pain. If it works (and it should), you could get rid of the medication and have a more comfortable baby. You could also strengthen her immune system so that the illnesses and ear infections are reduced or even eliminated. I'd be happy to advise you through this if you want to.

For now, I would continue to let her fall asleep with the boob or the bottle, as you are doing - I know it's a hassle and you don't want to get into habits that are hard to break, but the priority (I think) is to get her calm enough that she can sleep and be nourished.

Good luck - and no, again, you did not LET this happen. Stuff happens. You are a good and attentive mom.

Neither of my littles ones slept straight through the night until they were a year or so old. I was happy when they only woke up 1 time a night to nurse. Personally, I wouldn't try to force the issue. If your LO wants to nurse once or twice at night, let her. I know its rough...but that is what I did. They both eventually dropped the nighttime feedings on their own. Whatever you decide, I hope it works out for you. :)

I would make a list and prioritize the issues you mentioned. Then I would "attack" then one by one. It is easier the younger they are... I teach so I used vacation time to transition by son from napping in the swing to his crib, and then at about 9 months I stopped his night time feeding. It takes a bit of time but don't get overwhelmed. You are trying to have both your children and your needs met and it is never easy. I found the "Baby Whisperer" book really helpful maybe you can get it from the library?

Top things would be to only tackle one issue at a time, illnesses will derail your progress, be consistent once you have started something, and take care of yourself.

Good luck, N.

my youngest daughter had acid reflux and it sucked! i feel your pain!!!!! you could try a little cereal at night right before bed time then of course leave her propped up in something for awhile. as soon as all my kids started cereal they were sleeping through the night. i also understand about the crying and pain thing, abbe is 5 now and she is sooooooo spoiled and i have a feeling its cause ive always "babied" her because of her infancy problems. try soothing her with a pacifier, i also played light classical music for her made sure the house was dark and quiet for an hr before i put her to bed. it wasnt easy with my oldest daughter being 2 but it made a huge difference. good luck and i feel for you......when i had my son last yr i hopped and prayed he didnt have acid reflux cause i knew i couldnt do it by myself!(i divorced their dad half way through that one!)

You did not let this happen - give yourself a much needed break. In time you'll learn the pain cry - it really sounds different than the hungry or mad or bored cry.

I would ask for a referral to a pediatric GI specialist.

My son still has reflux at 6 years old. I understand how hard it can be. The damage that stomach acid can do is serious - I'd address that first. The sleep schedule will come (it might take a while).

Because my son was a preemie and came home on a breathing monitor, I was able to have him sleep on his tummy. That position is best for reflux - but SIDS is too serious to mess around with. No belly sleep without a monitor.

Laying down right after eating makes reflux worse. I know it's hard to do - but we kept our son upright for 20 minutes after he ate.

Look at her diet and if you nurse - your diet. One thing I did not realize was that spinach can cause the same distress as other standard foods nursing moms are told to avoid. I never saw it on a list of possible trouble foods. Helped when I stopped eating spinach salad. If you use formula, ask the GI doctor to recommend one.

Your daughter might has Milk Soy Protein Intolerance (MSPI - good websites out there - one by a nurse and mom in CT).

Just read the other answers - ah yes, how could I forget cereal in the breast milk/formula to thicken it. See - this will pass into a fuzzy sleep deprived memory. Stomach acid can erode the esophagus and exacerbate asthma. It really needs to be addressed. The sleep issues and routines can come later. My son was so premature he needed breastmilk supplemented with formula -so I learned that both can impact reflux. He was on a prescription formula for a long time. I loved the nights he would nurse in my bed and I dosed a little.

you have gottensome lovely responses - just wanted to offer - have you tried a vaporizer or a fan or some other type of white noise for your 3 year old, so the baby's cries won't wake her up? Just a thought...GL!

Have you tried to find out why she has such bad reflux? Our daughter had reflux and pain while trying to sleep because she was lactose intolerant. The doctor had never mentioned this but treated the reflux with medication. They also said because of the reflux she was more likely to get ear infections (so that part of your experience makes sense-unfortunately). We tried lactose free for a week and she was a completely different child! She was in pain before because she could not digest the lactose and it gave her stomach aches and gas (which bothered her the most while she was sleeping). I only say this because I wish someone had for me. It took us a year to figure out how to help our girl other than the reflux medications. I hope you find your answer soon! Good luck!

Sounds like your baby has some serious food sensitivities and possibly a yeast overgrowth. Have you tried eliminating offending foods for a while?(gluten, dairy, sugar, soy, acidic foods). Getting at the root cause of the problem is your best bet in helping with her troubles, it clearly sounds like something in your diet, or whatever else she consumes is the issue. Also, try supplementing with baby probiotics to help soothe and replenish a health gut(this works wonders if there is yeast overgrowth involved too). Also gripe water and homeopathic chamomilla are helpful. Good luck!

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Mine had reflux for about 9 mos, finally outgrew it. I thought it would never end. Meds did not seem to help. Resigned myself to multiple changes a day, and bibs all the time. Had a hundry dog LOL, gross...that helped with clean-up. White noise machine for the older one helps (we had the same problem when youngest was awake. Start by eliminating one of the night feeds, medicate for teething (also a problem at this age) and let her self-soothe. Good luck.