44 answers

Help with Letters and Numbers in 4-1/2 Year Son

My son will be 5 in December, so he won't start kindegarten until 2009, but I'm starting to get very concerned about his inability to learn his letters and numbers. He has trouble sitting still and focusing to begin with, but the other day I tried to get him to write a C for his name so he could sign daddy's father's day card. Every time he wrote it, it was either backwards or upside down. Same with his numbers. And he has a really hard time with counting - he used to count to ten, but now he can't get past three. We read lots of counting books and when we give him snacks he has to count them, but it just doesn't seem to be sticking. I really don't want my son to be behind before he even starts and have to struggle his whole life. He's an intelligent little boy, he just can't grasp the letters and numbers! It's so frustrating! Any advice??

I have to add that one of my main reasons for being so worried about this is because his name is Christopher, and I don't want the teachers making him Chris just to make things easier on themselves so they can just shove hm through the system.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Try doing something like a book with audio . Some times they have to hear it as a fun game ,this keeps them interested.If it does not work try getting a chalk board to write what he is learning as he hears the audio.

Hello. I'm going to school to be a teacher and we just learned about the topic of word reversals. A lot of parents think that it's dyslexia when the child writes letters backwards or upside down. The reason emergent readers do this is because they are not familiar with the words enough to write them correctly.
I hope this helps and offers some peace of mind :)

Hi P.,

I'd have to tell you not to worry. I have a 7-yr old that also had to start school late due to his bday. When I first took him I was a nervous wreck. He only knew how to write his name and count and refused to try to read with me and he wrote all his letters facing inwards, upside down, transposed, etc. It was devastating because my other two children learned everything in a blink of an eye. However, he's now going to 2nd grade and he is very smart, makes good grades, read at a higher level and an excellent student at school. At home, however he still acts like he cannot do anything on his own, instead of pampering his behavior, I've learned to challenge him and he works well w/challenges. I buy workbooks and give a him a challenge by the end of 1st grade this year he had his homework done all by himself.

More Answers

Take it one thing at a time. Recognizing/Saying the letters is great for now. Then work on the sounds they make. Then work on writing them.

Also, in the meantime, help him gain better fine motor control (which he needs to write well) by having him "play" with things that require finger dexterity such as playdough, lacing boards, stringing beads or pasta, etc. This will help tremendously when he's ready to start writing. Oh, and help him use "proper" finger grips when he colors or paints to help build up those muscles. A lot of people don't realize that we have to give those little fingers workouts before they can write with ease and legibility.

As far as learning to recognize the letters goes I recommend the "Letter Factory" series from leap frog. Also, their fridge phonics game is pretty cool (annoying to grown ups, but fun for kids). Also, teacher stores will have a flip chart/CD that has a song for each letter. You could work on one letter at a time, learn the song, the name, the sound, etc. Also, as you're driving down the road, point out the letter of the week as you see it on buildings and signs, etc. Have him do a letter hunt at the grocery store (also great for numbers!) - just use each chance you can think of to point out how we use letters and numbers in our everyday lives! :)

1 mom found this helpful

Hey P.,
I could really go into a long detailed account, but here it is in a nutshell. Get your son academically evaluated. Find out what ISD you live in and contact them. If they won't evaluate him, ask for help in contacting someone who will.
I have a son, who turned 6 in May. We have been through hell with him. I had him evaluated last spring and his scores were average to below average. What you are going through now is what we've been going through for two years.
Backwards numbers, unable to do easy things but acing the steps beyond that. I'd ask him to do the same thing 5 minutes later and he acted like he'd never even seen it.
This has gone on since he was 4. I thought it was because I was trying to teach him. I figured he would be okay when school started, and it was to a point. But what we had to do get him there was just such a slow process and he still isn't where he needs to be. His 4 year old sister is doing things he just doesn't seem to be able to do on a consistant basis.
I know your frustration.
Here's what I think as an educator and parent. What you are describing are focus issues. Your son is probably a little ADD. Don't freak out and do not dismiss this.
You need to address this now. Don't wait and let counselors and his teachers lead you by the nose through the process. I know I had such a hard time convincing my husband of the possibility, much less the actual evaluation result.

Some Suggestions
1. READ Get as much information as you can about ADD.

2. CHANGE HIS DIET. Cut out sugars, cheese, yeast based products and ose's (frutcose,sucrose etc.) Keep a food diary and jot down changes. Does he stay on task for at least 4 minutes (1 minute for every year since birth), does he forget words or names he's always known, does he get irritable after eating? Things like that. Do this for a week and then introduce old foods back into his diet. Look for changes.

3. Get on the web and find some very basic educational games.
www.starfall.com has some wonderful games to help them recognize and pronounce letters, reading etc. We bought Blues Clues Preschool and Diego software as well.

4. Go to Walmart and pick up a few of the Teacher's Friend publications. Start with the Little Kids series. They have cut, color trace match, count and more. Start with what he knows so it's fun and comfortable. You want him to feel successful. Start building little by little.

5. Set up a schedule and go by it religiously. Set up an area that is for learning. Wake him up at the same time, eat breakfast and have school. Make it fun and have loads of breaks.

6.Get a poster with a grid on it and put some very attainable goals as well as some slight challenges. Let him pick out stickers. When he achieves a goal, let him put the sticker on the poster.

This will take consistancy and tenacity on your part. I am serious about getting him looked at. If nothing else, do it to rule it out.

Email me if you'd like. I've been where you are and it helps to have someone to ask questions and get honest feedback. My parents were teachers for a collective 55 years. I've taught for 11 years. My mom is my sounding board. She's not always on target, but she leads me in the right directions.
Good Luck!

E.
____@____.com

1 mom found this helpful

okay...here's the thing. There is a possibility that your son is dyslexic. However, it is very difficult to decide about this early as so much can be written off as normal develpment...

I suspected my oldest was dyslexic at a very early age, but only becasue I grew up with a younger sibling who was dyslexic and I recognized many of the signs right away. However, I put off saying anything to her or anyone until she was in the first grade because I know they can grow out of a lot of developmental things. I finally realized I was right in my suspicions when she not only was not getting any better as she progressed through school but in some areas she regressed.

I MADE the school test her in the first grade and it took 6 months of convincing to get them to do it. They normally will not test for it until they are older or are showing signs of struggling which they determine to be low grades. I told them I was not waiting for my childs grades to suffer so she did not want to come to school anymore, for them to "decide" there might be a problem.

Dyslexia is not a form of retardation or other special needs of that ilk. Rather it is simply that your child sees words and numbers and processes them differently than the "norm" Most schools provide in class help with this. You will find that more children than you realize are getting this special help to teach your child to cope with what he sees.

So...my advice is to watch your son carefully, are his problems getting better over the next year, or does he seem to be reverting more and more?? If so have him tested in the 1st grade. It will be a fight, but one worth having...

Another thing, try getting a colored see through page to put over any text he is looking at. This sometimes helps the child to focus better and the letters/numbers to "stay put" for them. You might have to try a couple of different color "filters" before finding one that works for your child, or this may not help at all. But they are inexpensive and if it works, it is absolutely worth trying.

If it works the schools WILL allow you to provide it for any "reading" he has to do...

Good Luck... ;-) if you have any further questions about this possibility let me know and I will see if I either know it or can get it answered for you...

1 mom found this helpful

A website that promotes early literacy that I love is www.starfall.com. My son loves playing the free games on that site, and they also have free printouts. Sesame street also offers educational games online also http://www.sesameworkshop.org/

I really like the "chicka chicka boom boom" book for help with letter recognition. My kiddos also enjoyed the leap frog videos (letter & word factory).

As far as counting, what about memorizing nursery rhymes like "1,2 buckle my shoe..." and the one about ten little monkeys jumping on the bed ("one fell off and bumped his head...")

I also had trouble writing backwards around that age, it is pretty common, but it is something I grew out of with time and practice.

It is great that you are working with him but remember learning should be fun, and make sure to quit any lessons before he becomes frustrated. I have one sibling who learned to read at age 3 and another that didn't learn until she was six in first grade and they are both successful college grads (and good readers) today.

HTH.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi, my son is also 4. He will be 5 in September and we are in a similiar situation. He refuses to learn his colors. I was finally able to get him to count to 10 but it was a long battle. If you get any advice that works will you please pass it on to me. I am desperate. Thanks, my email is ____@____.com

L.

I am appalled at the people who are responding to you saying he may have a learning disability! Give him time, he is not in school yet, so it's not structured learning environment. There is no competition that he has to know these things before school---school is where he will learn these things...in due time, the right setting. Kindergarten is where they will learn and practice writing their names, numbers....It's good that you are working with him on this, but don't push too hard or else he'll hate it!

Have your son evaluated for dyslexia. It is a learning disorder that can be very very successfully overcome w/ early and regular intervention. Many school districts have people already in place to assist dyslexics. One of the most common symptoms of dyslexia is writing and reading letters and number backwards and upside down. It is in no way indicitive of low IQ, or lack of ability, these are people who just see and learn differently than most. Having him evaluated for any other type of LD may also be something you want to look into if he is not found to be dyslexic. You want to make sure he gets all the help that he needs before he has time to fall behind.

I also have a 4-1/2 yr old daughter and I am also concern about her not been able to grasp all her letter and numbers by the time she goes to school. She will be starting Pre-K this fall. What I've been doing it's to get a piece of paper write her name with dots so she could follow the dots, that way she connects the dots and her name appears, I also do that with any numbers or letters. Also you might want to consider buying a connect the dot computer game or book. They are fun and I am sure your son will enjoy it. My daughter only does it for 5 or 10 min, unless she wants to continue.
This is working for me, I hope it will work for you.
I am a student, mother of four, three boys and a beautiful gril, married for 13 years.

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