J.H. asks from Fort Worth, TX on November 04, 2008
Help with Ideas on Improving Childs Behavior at School UPDATED
Ok Moms...
My son is 5 he is a pretty good kid for the most part.
But he cant keep his hands to himself at school. His school does the Dot system for behavior. He is always getting in trouble for his little hands and feel and other object. I know alot of it is typical boy stuff.. but that is not acceptable in schools... We have grounded him;taken things away from him. His teacher is not letting him walk in line with other students when they leave the class room but it does not improve. It has gotten WORSE!!!
ANY Help would be great!
We want the best for him!
****EDIT*****
He only has trouble with his little hands when he is in line to go to class and or at recess or lunch.. During class he stays on task.
He is also a very compasionate kid... the first to offer help... then turn around 5 minutes later and hits the kid...
1 mom found this helpful
Featured Answers
J.A. answers from Amarillo on November 05, 2008
Hi J., I suggest having him be the teachers helper and walk right beside the teacher in the line. Also, have her teach him to keep his hands in his pockets the whole time he's in line. You can also practice this at home, in walmart, or at the grocery store.
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More Answers
G.G. answers from Dallas on November 05, 2008
If the only trouble is while he's in line, how about talking with the teacher about giving him something to carry while he's in line? For example, if they're going to lunch, he could carry the basket full of brought lunches. Or, if they're going to the library, he could carry the basket full of books. It would take 2 hands, and he wouldn't be able to bother anyone. If the class doesn't currently use a basket for books, maybe the teacher would be willing to adopt the practice in order to help your son. If not, maybe she would work with you to create some kind of something that "needs" to be taken with the class whenever they walk in the hall. Some teachers have a class notebook that travels with the students when they go to other parts of the school (so the art teacher, pe teacher, or whomever can write notes to the classroom teacher about how well the student performed or behaved while they were in that class). Maybe something like that? Maybe you could offer to actually create the thing (whatever it is) in order to save the teacher from having an extra job to do. If a system like this could be put into place, your son would think he is doing a good and responsible deed, which would build his self-esteem and NOT make the problem worse. He'd never need to know it was designed to keep him out of "trouble."
Kids at this age are often impulsive, so there's hope he will grow out of the behavior. I think it would be wise to also continue working on "keeping hands to yourself" and teaching him alternatives to hitting. What else can you do if someone makes you mad, or gets in your way, or takes your turn, or whatever. Little guys sometimes can't think their way through things unless we specifically give them the tools. Role playing at home is a great way to practice, with you being the kid who does something to provoke your son. Or have him practice with his little brother, in role play or for real!
2 moms found this helpful
B.P. answers from Abilene on November 05, 2008
I have taught kindergarten for 16 years and there are always a few kids each year that have to work through this issue. I really agree with the person who said to give him something to hold while in line... I have used this quite often and gotten good results with it. He also needs to have picture cues to help remind him of what to do in line before the class goes somewhere. Take a photo of your son standing with his hands behind his back and have his teacher show him that picture of him doing it "the right way" before they leave the classroom. This will reinforce the positive behavior and remind him that he can do it correctly. I also emphasize that students need to "use their words" instead of their hands.
We do a lot of role play to model the correct way to do things at school. Good luck!
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K.B. answers from Dallas on November 04, 2008
One thing to do is always reward them when they get a good dot. With something little dollar toy or candy or trip to a park. Even have a mother night where you do something really fun as a reward. I had alot of mother-daughter nights an my kid loved it so did her friends always wanted to come over to them. We would do fun crafts on them or build a tent over the table an roast marshmellows over candles. Other times in the kitchen play resturante making homemade little pizza's out of buscuits an bake just like a buscuit. We just rolled it out an added all the stuff it taste great or cookies etc. But also you need to stick to some punishment at the same time. My kid had dots at that age but if she got too many bad ones she got a spanken an things taken away. Just remember the more you reward when good the more they will want to be good.
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S.L. answers from Dallas on November 04, 2008
i do a reward system as well when my boys or nieces are having issues in school. they have to behave 4 of the 5 school days. if not, then no treat for them. it allows for a bad day. heck, you can start with 3 of 5. but it reiterates that you expect good behavior overall. reward the good when you can! LOL
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P.F. answers from Dallas on November 05, 2008
My guess is that you're under a tremendous amount of stress, be it good or bad, stress affects us moms and trickles down to our kids.....sounds like he just doesn't know how to "use his words" when feeling stressed or perhaps it's when there is a lack of conrol by the teacher he just gets so excited he doesn't know what to do with himself. Might I suggest a little reverse psychology? Instead of punishment for doing it wrong, try offering him something special - a time just with mom or a treat, as a REWARD for being good "in line" or whatever, if he makes it through the day with little or no reprimands, celebrate it somehow - give him something to look forward to?! You could make a calendar or use the family calendar and for every day he does well, put a happy face, then when he gathers 5 he gets a reward of some sort. Good Luck to you and Yeah to you for trying to get it solved now instead of waiting until it's a huge problem.
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S.S. answers from Wichita Falls on November 05, 2008
I went to school with my son one Thursday because he'd had to change his color five school days in a row. Turns out the kid he'd been putting his hands on had done his own share of putting on of hands - he was just better at being sneaky than my son. While I was SITTING THERE the other kid tried to get my son to do it back twice.. anyway, they got separated and my kiddo hasn't been in trouble since.
It reads like your son is having trouble in more than one situation, but I really think going to school for a day might give you extra insight - possibly even into the need to change teachers or schools (although our teacher and school ROCK, were he in the class down the hall he would be living in the red zone).
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R. answers from Dallas on November 04, 2008
Some kids get their sensory input through touch. So, taking away opportunities won't solve the issue because it's a physical need. Giving him appropriate outlets, like figits to hold during transition times, or circle times, or other times when he's touching his friends might help.
1 mom found this helpful
J.A. answers from Amarillo on November 05, 2008
Hi J., I suggest having him be the teachers helper and walk right beside the teacher in the line. Also, have her teach him to keep his hands in his pockets the whole time he's in line. You can also practice this at home, in walmart, or at the grocery store.
1 mom found this helpful
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