Help with Home Work

Updated on September 12, 2007
M.R. asks from Acworth, GA
11 answers

I have a 8 yr old son in 2nd grade and it takes him 3-5 hrs to do two papers, it gets very h*** o* me and him with fighting to get it done and he has ADD but none of the meds work, he is about to try a new one, but when he was on it over the summer I didn't see a change in him so i took him off the doc wants to try again. It's not that he don't understand but he just can't do it, cause it takes forever. I don't know what to do, today we are having a conference at his school, any advice will help on how to handle any of this

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So What Happened?

I had a teacher conference yesterday and she said she don't want him doing homework that long so she has cut it some so i'm going to see if that will help and he starts a new med sunday, so I will see how it goes. Thanks for everyones help and time, Michelle

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N.L.

answers from Atlanta on

I would look into the foods he is eating. Sounds weird I know, but many foods react differently to certain kids. If meds aren't working, change his diet. There are several good books out there that the discuss different diets for issues kids have-for instance gluten is a nightmare for many kids diagnosed with autism. Red dye, and processed sugars are awful for just about any kid, the attention span diminishes. I noticed a tremendous difference in my child when we stopped processed sugar, food is fuel and sometimes kids are much more sensitive to what their bodies run on than one may realize. It's worth giving a try!

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M.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi Michelle,

My youngest daughter was diagnosed with ADD and also ADHD when she was 6. I had a horrible time working with her (I homeschool) until I discovered the cause of her problem. The chemicals in the house (clorox, windex, pledge, shampoo, etc.)were affecting the way she acted and the way she worked her school work. I found a company that sells non-toxic products to detoxify your house completely and they are actually cheaper than Wal-Mart or "dollar store" products. I know this is not the only cause for ADD but I have discovered it is the most common. If you would like to know more, please give me a call on my cell ###-###-####. I will gladly explain everything I have discovered in the last 4 years. If you don't have long distance, email me back with a phone number and I will be glad to call you. My daughter is not only working on grade level but far past what I ever could have imagined.

I do wish you well and I hope to hear from you.

M.

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T.K.

answers from Atlanta on

Hey Michelle,
I don't have an answer to your issue but it caught my eye because I just had a meeting with my 5 year old sons teacher this week and she was having a problem with his on completing his work on time and following directions....I also have a 15 years old that has adhd so I was telling her about him but told her that I did'nt think he had that but to keep an eye out and she said she did'nt either because he was not hyper or anything but what about add alone? I'm worried about that and he is only in kindergarden so hopefully things will get better because I sure don't want another child with that.Hopefully we can find a soulution to getting them on task and geting this work done!
T.

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J.H.

answers from Atlanta on

My 8 yr old in 3rd grade started taking meds at the end of the year last year. I hated to do it, but she has gotten straight A's ever since and her behavior is satisfactory (unlike before where she was even suspended in 1st grade!). I can see the difference in her test scores too on a daily basis if she doesn't take the meds and so can the teacher. Emily just can't finish anything to even get an acceptable grade on them. My advice is if you're not happy with the results you're getting from the meds, try a different doc. Every child is different and I believe the same about the doctors. I think that docs get into a pattern of medicating "the usual" and these kids are all completely different. We are going to Dr Alan Korbett in Snellville and we live in Marietta! Good luck and remember that we're the parents, it's up to us to see that our children have a better chance at a good life!

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S.E.

answers from Atlanta on

Michelle,

I can hear your frustration! I used to be a school teacher and believe me, you are not alone.

Here are the suggestions I made to my parents. I don't know if they'll work for you but I hope you'll try.

First, ask your teacher for a double conference. That way you'll have more than 20 minutes for the conference. Conferences are a great communication tool but there's already a lot on her agenda and you're issue is going to take some time to disucss.

Perhaps the teacher would accept just 1/3 of the homework from your son. As long as he practices and shows mastry of the concept, would she accept that instead of the entire paper?

Also, ask if there is a specialist who can get involved. If your son has a diagnossis of ADD does he qualify for any programs or help that the school can provide?

Does your son attend an After School Program? If so, is there someone there who can assist with homework?

If its you helping with his homework, then set aside 20 minutes that you sit with him undisturbed and work with him with NO interruptions. HIre a sitter if you have to but this is important!

Does music playing help or distract your son?

Is there a specific place set up for homework that has no distractions?

What if your son "taught" you his homework instead of just sitting quietly and answering problems? Letting him "teach" might help his mind very focused and little time for a lot of distraction.

Even without medication, there are strategies you can employ to help your son. It is NOT easy. If you decide meds is best your your family, be consistent. Some families choose to keep their children off meds for the summer or on breaks. That's a very personal decision and something you can discuss with the family doctor.

I hope you get the help you need!

S.

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A.M.

answers from Atlanta on

You might consider alternative schools that don't focus so much on doing papers and homework in 2nd grade. Some boys just aren't made to sit still all day and then again in the evening to do homework. Unfortunately our public educational system doesn't really take that into account.
Help your son focus on his strengths; it sounds like school is bringing him down.

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C.S.

answers from Atlanta on

I think it is great that you are meeting with the school and trying different meds! Hang in there, sometimes you have to try a lot of different medicines and there are some new ones out there. A lot of structure, routine and collaboration with the school should help. I'm a special ed teacher and know it is hard.

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C.D.

answers from Atlanta on

First of all, my background is in Counseling and Teaching and I also gave birth to a Very Successful and Productive 35 year old with ADD who encouraged me to specialize in that phenomenon. Yes, I’m old but that makes me better. I am also a trained and Master Degreed teacher who has developed programs and curriculum for severely learning disabled children. I say all that for the purpose of credibility. “Seat work” as the school districts and some teachers like to call it is simply busy work. The only “seat work” that is necessary to children is their rote memorization – alphabet, spelling words, numerals, penmanship, times tables, and the like. Those little puzzles and matching games and coloring are activities students used to do in their “spare time” after they were taught facts and concepts by the teacher. It’s work done in their seat so the teacher doesn’t have to teach. Nowadays, (yes there were good old days in public ‘government’ school) teachers are so busy with their paperwork for administering the classroom and handling discipline problems, they spend very little time in front of the students imparting knowledge.
Secondly ADD, ADHD, and other very intelligent children do most of their learning in their heads, not with their hands. It’s the way they’re built; it’s the way they think, and it uses all the senses because their hands are usually free to do other things at the same time they’re learning. Also, there are many toxins in the air of most classrooms today and in our homes, unbeknownst to some, which are triggering ADD, allergy and asthma symptoms and behavior, of which you need to be aware. Your child probably multi-tasks and the teacher calls it “disrupting the class” or “fidgeting” or “won’t stay on task” depending on the personality traits specific to your child and the activities he does in his head and with his hands. He also learns during conversation – called “not listening” by most teachers because the child is questioning. Paring him up with someone who needs extra help (a disabled child, a child that others shun, or another child with ADD) can actually do both of them good, although the teacher probably thinks that idea is far-fetched, if not stupid. He may drum his fingers, tap out music with his legs, draw on everything, climb and hide in places you didn’t think he could be and is very curious about the world, so he asks more questions than he gives answers. He probably dreams, creates, and has wonderful ideas for how things “ought to be” or “he wishes they were”. That is NOT an attempt to get out of schoolwork or discipline; it is his way of learning and he is being frustrated. He is analytical beyond his years and his peers. He has probably figured out to manipulate every situation to his benefit, especially because the adults in his life manipulate him and have him doing activities that have no meaning. Just as an aside, I have met very few 8 year old boys who could sit still for more than 15 minutes without at least exploding on the inside and sometimes outside – it’s developmentally impossible by any textbook – so after 15 minutes, lay off. His mind has shut down because of what his brain is telling him to do – get up and accomplish something. You can go back, if you must, but read on for more possibilities.
Thirdly, in my professional opinion reached by years of experience, observation and counseling with many students and their parents, interviewing many teachers currently, and my human development training in the fast-changing field of learning styles, our theme should not be “No child left behind” but should be “Parents should train their children at home and be compensated for it by the school system”. I know our society does not understand that or support that as a whole because they have been duped by the “government schools”. I know MANY home schooling families that have taken the responsibility of training their children away from the government, realized their children can learn much more than they thought, and are paying tuition to some of the finest “government” (state) universities and private, yes even Ivy League institutions of higher learning where they arrived with excellent SAT scores, outstanding extracurricular accomplishments, and high motivation for a specialized career fine tuned by years of parent support in specialty environments.
I am very frustrated with the things children are put through at the expense of the real education that could be occurring. So after this long discourse, look long and hard at schooling your children at home, and if you cannot figure out any way to do that AFTER talking to several families that are DOING it, talk to his teacher about giving him classroom “tasks” for when he completes his work, i.e. cleaning the board, taking out the trash, passing out “papers”, sharpening pencils, setting up the centers, watering plants, or assisting a disabled child or slower learner and HOPE for the best. I will tell you that it will not ever be best and your child will become more frustrated over the years and not meet his fabulous potential. You can hold me to that prediction. They are self-fulfilling prophecies and you MUST find out the miracles he’s truly capable of. That IS your responsibility. I have a home business that is wonderful for Moms who need to make serious money and it works with home schooling, I know a company that will provide safe and effective cleaning and personal care products in case he is actually receiving brain damage from what you are using at home and the teacher is using in the classroom, or at the least will make your home safer and more calming. I am available for advice over the phone if you’ll email me back or respond to this. I am very opinionated but full of truth and all I say to parents is meant in love. Don’t be duped by so-called experts - I’ll tell you the questions to ask – and TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR CHILDREN. It’s part of the reason you have them as well as to be blessed by them. You WILL be rewarded in this life by your children if you follow through. ~ C.

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B.W.

answers from Atlanta on

i just got this although it looks like you sent it several days ago. At any rate, something else that might help your son is to break up his homework. The symptoms of ADD include remembering (because your mind is thinking of too much to process any one item) and concentration (for the same reason). Drugs will help and may help quite a bit, but working with these issues instead of against them may help too. If you can break his homework into sections (say- 5 math problems, or 1 paragragh to read)then it may help. Also make learning fun again. When he was a baby he didn't learn by sitting down and reading- he learned by doing! It will take a little more work on your part, but your job is to teach him how to work with his strengths and weaknesses, and this is just part of it. There are lots of memory and concentration lessons out there (especially online for homeschoolers) as well as different ways to teach him his everyday school lessons. Who know, if it works for him, his teacher may be able to incorporate more hands on learning in the classroom also.

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M.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Just remember that everyone learns differently first off. Both my husband and I were homeschooled. However he did video classes and did great and I did the hard books, reading, hands on, etc. When I tried the video classes I would fall asleep or stare off into space and made horrible grades. So maybe if you try to incorporate a different approach it would help. Like if it's a math assignment maybe use pennies (or something he can touch and look at) to create the problems. You know 5 pennies plus 3 pennies gives you = 8. Or if it's spelling maybe the magnetic alphabet letters or blocks to actually touch. Also always remeber to breathe. I have to every day.

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Y.D.

answers from Atlanta on

I would advise you to let him take a short brake from time to time and to also let him do what he can even if he does not com plete the papers you might also want to change the environment to see if another place will get him encourage he might be bored with the homework and maybe try an activity he likes first will get him in the mood for the job.
Y.

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