Help with Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child

Love that book and those methods worked great for both my kids!

It sounds to me like your timing is off, probably because his schedule is changing a bit now that he is 4 months old. You probably just need to readjust. I suggest you reread the part in the book about when four-month-olds *typically* nap (I think I remember that first nap was 1 1/2 hours or so after waking and would typically last for an hour or more) and then aim for that and adjust as you notice what fits your son's schedule. I also remember something in the book about early waking at this age, so you might look that up too.

Also, we found it more difficult to stay on schedule with the second child, since you have to accommodate your older child also it's often harder to be consistent.

Remember, the transitions from one schedule to another (regular napping vs. sleeping after every feed, going from 3 naps to 2, or 2 naps to 1) is always difficult. I am sure you will find a rhythm again soon.

Good luck!

We follow Weissbluth as well and have had success with our 2 kiddos (3.5 and 2). I am now prego with #3- due in May. What questions do you have?

I also have a very sweet child and we used his book - we were so freaked out to see her cry, because she never cried, that we waited until she was 7 months old to put his plan into full effect. Be strong and keep at it. It took us two and a half nights before she was all done with crying. We never had an issue after it. We did go to super early bedtimes though for a while (like 530p) and I think Dr. W recommends that if you think the baby is over-tired. Be strong. The extra sleep you get once you get through this phase will be well worth it.

I loved Weissbluth for my ODD, although I didn't use it to make her sleep through the night - I just used it for naps and bedtime. If she woke at night I'd nurse her. She's a fantastic sleeper and napper!

I'm thinking your LO may be a bit young for CIO. If you can wait another couple of months that would be good. I've got a 2 year old and a 2.5 m old - I'm starting to try to get some regularity with YDDs naps, but the most important part is that she sleeps. We have struggled with naps these last couple of days but I realised today that I think she's one that can still only be awake for about 1 to 1.5 hrs. She LOVES to sleep. So I've been putting her down for naps sooner than I think I should and so far we're on our second good nap of the day. We'll see if this works tomorrow though! If she cries (more than just mild fussing) for more than a few minutes I'll generally go to her and get her up and try again later.

Once you really go whole hog on the CIO though, I think you're supposed to let 'em cry for an hour each nap if that's what it takes. But usually it doesn't take that, thank goodness!

If he's struggling with naps just put him down even earlier for bed. I've been putting my YDD down around 5:30 because that's what she's needed these last few days. Hopefully if our naps stay strong we'll be able to push that back to 7 in another few days.

Good luck to you!

I have 2 things that have worked tremendously well for me. First, IMO, 4mo is too early to start sleep training, especially if you're breastfeeding, because they don't have a distinguishable pattern. Most 4mo nap 15-45 minutes at a time and are all over the map when it comes to how long they sleep at night, and literally everything can be different from day to day. Remember sleeping through the night at this age is 5-6 hours.

The second I want to point out is that with your children being so different, maybe this method won't work for your 2nd child?? Just an idea. I used Pantley with both my kids, and it worked very differently for both. I had to modify, and I couldn't let my kids CIO because they would do what your son did: cry until I picked them up. I mean HOURS, and I can't stand to hear my kid cry that hard for that long. There was no coming in every 5 minutes because the longer I let them go, the harder they cried. I admit that I have my nights with my 13mo, but she usually only has bad nights when she's teething (all 4 molars right now!! Yikes!) or when she's overtired.

The third I want to highlight is: are you open to letting your son sleep on his belly? Both my kids are belly sleepers and have been since birth. I don't know if yours can roll over, but I know 4mo is a HUGE developmental age, and if he's coming out of his swaddle blanket, maybe he's done with it. He may want/need to freedom of movement in his sleep, and as long as he can turn his head to breathe (which most babies can do from birth), he may sleep better on his belly. Just a couple ideas.... :)

The 5:30 am wakeup might be his natural wakeup time right now. Both of mine went through relatively short periods of waking up really early (4:30 am a couple of times, and anywhere from 5 to 5:30 fairly often). It didn't last too long, but if it's their natural wakeup time right now, there's not a lot you can do.

Weissbluth would probably recommend putting your son to sleep earlier (6-6:30pm). Also, it might be time for a regulated three naps a day.

Good luck!

We're Weissbluth fans in this house - what questions do you have?

I'm interested in your question. Could you post? I also had wonderful success with his methods with my 4 year old. I am finding challenges in starting these methods with my 4 mo old. I would love to hear any advice that is given to your question. Thanks!

I also used this book for both my kids; although neither of them really followed his stages to a 't'. Our first had reflux, so he was all over the board, and never followed the book until he was about 8mos. However, we used his techniques and the whole 'not awake for more than 2hrs' as a big key to our success. Our second child has been wonderful, but has had her moments of needing some teaching to sleep. We didn't let her cry until she was at least 6mos. I think the book says that unless there is a specific reason (going to work, etc) then 6mos is the age you can start CIO. Can you wait a little longer? I would definitely start getting him used to being non-swaddled, and just try to take it one step at a time. I think we got our youngest to get used to the unswaddled feeling, then slowly let her fall asleep on her own (we'd get her so drowsy and put her down, then let her be more awake and put her down). She did cry, but usually it was only for about 10 min for a few days, then nothing. But this was at about 6-7mos. Now she is 15mos and does real well sleeping on her own. Good luck and hang in there! There are so many stages and this one will be over before you know it!

I used Weissbluth with my son, now four and it was a godsend! People are so amazed at how eaisly he goes to bed and takes his nap. I just started today actually with my DD who is going to be four months in less than a week. I am only going to do one nap a day to start out with (the rest of the time she naps in her swing) She cried for about 15 minutes today & then took a 40 minute nap until BB came in from outside and slammed the front door hooting & hollaring!
I only swaddle her at night and I will do that until she doesnt want it anymore.
She is going to get her binki taken away in a couple days when she hits her four month mark. (thats when I took my DS away)
In your case(and I am no expert) I would just take both away and get it done with. I know it can be very hard to hear them in there but in the end IMO you are doing them a favor. He already made an improvement going from the full hour to 20 minutes! Thats awesome! I would say do one to two naps a day until he gets it.
I also started doing the nap at certain times during the day with my DS when he was more around six months.

Personally, I think it's too stressful for you and the baby to CIO all at once while taking away all his props (swaddle and pacifier). With my 7 month old, I first got him used to sleeping without the swaddle and pacifier before I started to let him cry.

It sounds like your baby is sleeping pretty well at night--two wakings for feeding sounds about right to me. You can make him cry through the wakings in which he isn't fed, but otherwise, I would leave him alone. You can have him cry for naps if getting him to fall asleep for them is a big ordeal, but if he falls asleep easily for naps, why bother? Your baby is still pretty young for sleep training. I prefer to train them a bit later when they can be completely night weaned, so there's no confusion when they wake about whether you should feed them or let them cry.

I suppose my suggestion to you now is to work on just getting your baby used to sleeping without the paci and without the swaddle, but offer plenty of comfort (rocking, nursing, whatever). Then, in a couple of months when he's ready to be weaned at night, focus on CIO. You may want to do some nap training before then to help your baby adapt to sleeping without props. Or for naps, you could do a more gentle approach like checking on your baby every 5, 10, 15 minutes. Weissbluth supports that method too. Good luck!

At 4 months old he is too young to start the CIO sleep training. Developmentally, you really shouldn't try using that method until they are about 18months old. I would focus on the part in the book about watching for sleep cues, putting him down tired yet awake, etc. If he's fussy, I would go to him and reassure him. I'm not really sure how old your child is, but he may be teething, which could be waking him and making it difficult to sleep. Or he may be gassy. I would try the modified method that the book talks about until he is old enough to leave for an hour. Also, if you are stressing about his sleep, he will feel your stress and become stressed himself. Try to relax and let him give you the cues for when he is sleepy and things should fall in to place.