4 answers

Help with Demanding 14 Month

My son will turn 14 months on Saturday and he is starting a new phase. He has been very demanding of his Fathers attention. Lately if he sees his Father he stops everything, starts crying and will not stop unless he picks him up. My husband has been trying to not pick him up on his every demand and instead has gotten down to his level and trys to comfort him. This works until he stands back up and this sends Adam into a full tantrum. We are both very happy that he admires his Dad this much but we can't function in our house when Dad is home unless Adam is in his arms. Any advice or words of wisdom?

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More Answers

It's normal and healthy. He needs to be picked up, he's communicating with you. Dad should invest in a sling so he can keep his hands free. I love maya wraps, personally.

I don't know that I really have any advice as my almost 14 month old hasw been like this with me for the past few months. She is just starting to get over it and now doesn't need me to hold her all the time but for a while I was thinking that she may go to college attached to me. It is very hard to get anything done and even think straight when she is throwing a tantrum because she wants me to pick her up. Her dr says I can't spoil her by holding her so if I can I do it. If I am doing dishes well she just has to cry it out until I am done. All I can think is that it is a phase and they will grow out of it sooner or later. When I expressed my concerns to her dr she told me something that really made me feel better. She said "that is wonderful becasue it means that she will have a really good support system in you as she grows up." So, your son's attachment to dad is diffucult but it means their bond is strong and hopefully will stay that way as he grows up. As I am writing this it has occured to me that my stepson and my nephew both went thru this phase with their dads. My husband couldn't move with out his son screaming. It will pass. Do what you have to do to get thru the day. Good luck!
K.

His father should be holding him, playing with him, loving him, engaging with him AS MUCH AS YOUR SON NEEDS HIM TO! You guys aren't going to spoil him by hanging out and engaging with your son - that's nonsense. What could be more important than loving your son? Chores and TV can wait. Seriously. Take full advantage of this special time while it lasts!

Hello B.. Your son sounds very spirited. I am a mother of two girls, and I remeber this stage as if it were yesterday. I also helped my mom,cousins, and aunts raise a total of 12 children(I was the lucky oldest one).Plus I have done in home day care for ten years. You and your husband are on the right track. Be persistent and consistent, do not change your method. You might want to step in as soon as your husband steps back and distract him with a game or a toy or an idea or a task. At the same time your son is bonding with his daddy who is not home all the time. This is excellent. Eventually Adam will grow out of this phase but for now enjoy and try to cope. Hang in there. K.

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