Help with Children Getting up in the Morning

Some teens just don't like getting up on their own. My brother would never get up without my mom getting him up. So, what I would suggest (since they only get up when you get them up) is to get them up, at 5:30. Or wake them up some other annoying way like blaring a horn. This way it jolts them right out of bed! Seriously though, I wake up to an EXTREMELY loud alarm b/c it scares me. Then, I am too pumped up w/adrenaline to go back to bed. I started that routine when I was a teen. If they don't like getting up to you "annoying" wakeups calls, then they can wake themselves up with their alarm. Never know, it might work.

I negotiated with my daughter (14) when she wanted a later bedtime; I agreed to it as long as she could get herself up and going in the morning. So far it's worked like a charm. I work late two nights a week and she gets herself and her brother up.

You might also make the older ones responsible for getting the younger ones up and then they may see how frustrating it is and have some sympathy for you.

You might ask if they want their bedtime moved back if they can get up on their own. I do worry about the lack of sleep, but my daughter eventually learned on her own that less sleep = bad mornings and self-regulated her bed time.

As for being late, I'm kind of draconian. You don't get up and go to school on time, no t.v., computer, or anything else that runs on juice that day. And I add a day for each repeat infraction. I know this makes more work for you at first in monitoring the grounding, but after you win the battle, the time saving in the morning kicks in.

It takes time for it to work; it may take a month or more of grounding before they get the idea, especially if they are stubborn like my son! Hang in there.

Maybe give them consequences.. Tell them everytime you have go in there to wake them up, is 10-15 minutes earlier that they have to go to bed the next night. Or maybe time off of the computer...or something else that they like to do.

my mom used to play john phillip sousa music, really loud, to get me up for school when i was a teenager. i seem to remember that it worked. and it made her laugh, so it took the tension out of the situation too.

I will try to make this short and simple. Until your children have to own their own destiny and be mature and responsible, they won't be. So you have to make them own up to their on actions to become more responsible people. As long as you do it for them, then why should they worry about it. What is scarry is that type of behavior is a lot of times carried into adulthood.

Feel free to call in the eve. For some ideas on how to make them resposible for themselves as it is so much and could be taken the wrong way in writing.
C.
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Let go. Tell them they're responsible for getting to school on time and if they don't make it they will have to face the consequenses. They will have to take care of whatever the school dishes out, plus whatever punishment you choose (no seeing friends for a week, go to bed an hour earlier, no T.V., more chores...) They are old enough to be responsible in this matter.
D.-Mom to 9

You didn't mention bed times. i am a 60 year old grandmother raising 3 grandchildren 17, 14 &9. i too have a very hard time getting the 14 and 9 yr old up for school. My so;ution has been that when I have to call them more then twice in the a.m. that night they go to bed an hour earlier. This has helped our problem, hope it helps you. L. S

I am high school teacher and have tucked away a couple ideas I have heard in the past. One thing I have learned is that they want to be treated like adults, so we have to allow for adult consequences.

1. Reward the good behavior, but it must be genuine and sincere.

2. Teenagers get to set their own bedtime (within reason), but if they are late getting up in the morning then it reverts back to a much earlier time. This must be enforced and may be difficult.

(I currently use this technique with my 4 year old, he doesn't set his own bedtime, but if he gives us problems going to bed and getting up his bedtime the next night is earlier--depending on how much trouble he gave us.)

3. Come up with a plan that you and the kids can live with--you will give them one or no wake up call. If they don't get up allow them to be late to school, but don't excuse them. Unexcused tardies and absences at school will have natural consequences. If that matters to the kids use it to your own advantage.

Good luck!

I can't say I have any advice better than what you have already. Wonderful Ideas out here.
I can add that I was one of those irresponsible Teenagers I could never rise when I was supposed to without the constant yelling or with out making the morning a mess for myself and my mother. I did not ever gain that. I still sleep through alarms and people talking to me, the phone ringing. Once I am out I am out until my sleep cycle is done. It was not in my case that I did not want to get up. I couldn't. I tried earlier bed times and would lay quiet until I could fall asleep.
I left their home still unable to make myself get up. The consequence was that I wasted their time and money on college. I went to college on a scholarship and lost it due to missing classes because I had not learned to get out of bed. I wish that there had been places like this for my mother.
At 53 now my life took lots of twists and turns. I was ADHD and dyslexic, still have some problems with ADD the hyper burned out long ago with age and am still dyslexic. In the 60's and 70's they did not have enough info out for my parents to get help for me. It was also called Hyper kinetic not ADD or ADHD.
My adult solution to being unable to rise early in the morning was to become a night worker. I still am. And still can not wake myself up in the early am.
Good luck with your problem with your teenagers. My only suggestion is make sure that there is not another underlying problem too. Talk with them and see if there is not a solution that you can come up with together. That might work better than making the mornings miserable for everyone.
Good luck with this.
K. W.

Hi, M.,

Even though this is a fairly common problem it sure must wear you out to go through all the hassle every morning to get your kids up and about. Have you asked the older ones why they think it is your responsibility to get them up? They will be driving soon, I imagine. Will they still want you to take them everywhere, or won't they want to be able to drive themselves places without Mom beside them? Do you see my point here? Maybe there needs to be a discussion with the older ones about how much responsibility they will assume as they get older. I think you will find your twins will get themselves up a lot easier when they see their sister and brother doing it...young kids love to imitate their older siblings. Anyway, I agree with the others who encourage you to turn over the responsibility for getting up and to school on them. It will be very hard for you at first to let them oversleep/be late, but they will learn quickly and will feel good about themselves in the process. Good luck.

I remember these day's my mom getting us up in the morning for school,Well even though your children are older are they getting enough sleep?If they are going to bed after 10 evey nite tiredness catches up with them try to put them to bed earlier at least an hr early,ya they are teenagers but they still live in your house and attend school.Enough sleep is the best medicine.If you try this your morning's may get easier.And for the twin's they need to be in bed even earlier my son is over 4 yr.s old he is in bed by 8 no later than 8:30.He get's up in the morning comes up stairs to see if i'm up and we start our day.Good Luck

I have two kids 12 and 15 who exhibitted the same problem you are having with your kids. Searching for an answer, I travelled the internet and came across information that kids are exposed to many toxic chemicals and heavy metals in the air, the water, and the foods they eat. These toxic substances can cause many health problems...difficulty getting up in the morning is just one of them. I also found a way to help my children at the following website: www.mywaiora.com/461538. The product is called Natural Cellular Defense. It worked great for them and for me. I have since started using Essential Daily Nutrients and feel great all the time.

as someone who was one of "those" teenages with the sleeping thing. My parents would put 3 alarm clocks in my room and all 3 would be going off but really the only thing that woke me up was the sound my mother's feet on the stairs coming down to my room. Becuase I knew if I wasn't up - I was getting a face full of water. :) Fear worked for me.

I don't know how much this will help--- as my kids are younger...

But to maintain sanity here - the kids get ready the night before.....My older two are 11 and 8 and they get their clothes and backpacks prepared before they go to be. (My 8 year old knows all three kids' school schedules and reminds his sisters when it is their library and gym days)

I still get the clothes for my 6 year old --- but since she decided that she wasn't going downstairs to get clothes - she can't complain about what I (or her dad) put out for her.

Unfortunately, alarms clocks don't wake anyone in the house except ME! (Not even my Dh -- so I have to wake everyone!)

The one thing that motivates my youngest ---Eggos...I found that when I got those for them, my kids wanted to make sure they had time for a 'sit down' breakfast......

I don't know if you can lure your kids out b/c of food or not.

I sure am not looking forward to those years.

What are the consequences at school if they are tardy?
(I really think the start time of high school may really be too early for some kids developmentally. If you look at some of the research on adolscents -- they don't do well in the morning and would do better if they went to school later in the day. I actually think one of the peds. once suggested that teen think better in the late afternoon and early evening--- Not that anyone will adopt that school schedule since it doesn't work for adults and sports. So you might keep this in mind-- that maybe it isn't just motivation that is keeping them dragging their feet......The developmental issues should improve over time- but that doesn't help you to survive NOW)

one idea. is get them up and if you have to wake them up several times and it is time to go. then they go as they are and if you need to go then go and don't call school and let them figure how they are going to get there and punish them for being late and they will get in trouble at school for missing classes and being late too. We still have to double check on out kids too. almost 15 and 18 girls which are very slow. When I say punish Like( take phones away, doing things with friends, tv, computer.) best wishes. I hope it will help.

I use to be fine in Grade school. When i started HS i started having problems getting up out of bed in the morning. My bedtime was always 8:30. Come to find out i was anemic. Today, i'm 25 and i'm still anemic. I have an Iron deficiency. I could sleep all day if i wanted to, but raising 3 kids all under the age of 5 keeps me pretty busy. Do you give your kids multivitamins? I also use the sublingual b-12( you put it under your tongue and let it dissolve)It gives you a boost of energy. Personally i would take them to the dr. and see if they are anemic in any way. There's different forms of anemia. i would ask your dr. about them being on a multi-vitamin or sublingual b-12.

I have no idea to parent a teen, but I've heard that you can just let them suffer the consequences at school of not getting themselves up and about in time! (Parenting with Love & Logic is the book) Since they are definitely old enough to get themselves up and ready, and it should be THEIR job, not yours, this might be something to try! I don't know what the consequences are at their school, but you could give the teachers/admin. a heads up. The scenario in L&L is that mom tells the kids (if she drives them to school) what time the van pulls out, and if they're not ready, they don't go. No driving them late either, they miss school that day and deal with the consequences, and they won't want to again! Or if they miss the bus, mom doesn't give them a ride.

Like I said, I have no experience parenting a teen! But I do like the L&L ideas, especially for teens, when it's REALLY time they learn some things for themselves :)

If you don't like that idea, I suppose you could try taking away privileges if they don't comply in the mornings.

I have a 13-year old son who is also reluctant to get up in the morning. A few years ago we instituted a rule that if you can't get up on your own when the alarm clock goes off, it must mean you're too tired. Therefore bedtime is 30 minutes earlier that night. Then if he can't get up the subsequent morning on his own, it's an hour early to bed, and so on. The same rule is in place if my son is not ready on time in the morning. These probably sound legalistic, but I feel like they are natural consequences to the behavior. Having these two rules in place really save me from nagging at him, too. We have to revisit these rules every few months, but for the most part our household now operates much smoother in the mornings.

Next time they need to be somewhere they want to go, like the movies or a friends house be late. Take longer to get ready, sit in the driveway in the car and read the mail...take your sweet time. Make sure you make a point o say...oh did you want to be somewhere, oh guess you are going to have to be late. Not sure if it will work for your teens but it worked for a friends 9 year old.
When my children wont get up for school I just make them go to bed earlier that night. Instead of going to be at 8 they go to bed at 730 or 7 or even 630. I always make a point to remind them that they are going to bed early because they couldn't get up early enough so they must need more sleep. Usually just takes a few times to remind them
Goodluck

I know with teens you can't really "make" them go to sleep at a certain hour, your 6 year olds you can. Put them to bed earlier. Tell your teens they have to be quiet when the twins go to bed so as not to disturb them. As for your teens, if you give them a weekly allowance, start deducting everytime they are late to school and you or your husband have to bring them . Deduct enough to hurt. My parents did that to me and when I didn't have the money for the weekend to hang out with friends or go to the movies I changed my tune. I had an alarm clock at the time also and that didn't help. I'm still hard to get up in the mornings, but I have an alarm that is set 30 minutes ahead of time and then a second alram (watch alarm) that is set 5-10 minutes ahead. I hit the snooze button 2 or 3 times and then I'm ready to get up. My husband is similar in his getting up routine also. We both were very hard to get up as kids and teens. His parents were just plain cruel though and would put cold washcloths on his or his brothers faces. I wouldn't do it now without contacting a divorce lawyer first, if you know what I mean. Try the money thing...and if you don't give them an allowance then keep track of how many times they are late and next time they ask for $20 deduct so much (like a dollar or two) for each time they were late and explain to them why they only get $10. Good luck.

Hi M.,

We had the same problem and I bought my teens each an alarm clock. We had a discussion about responsibility, set bedtimes based on ages (oldest was always allowed to stay up 15 minutes longer) and "taking care of their business".

Now here is the tough part. Do not wake them in the morning and let them oversleep. They need to know that you are serious about them accepting this responsibility. Soon they will understand that if they want to get up, they need to make sure they listen for their alarm and get up when it goes off.

Good luck!!!

Hi M., First of all I make sure that most of my "next day" stuff is ready and waiting by the front door. Coats, book bags, shoes, purse, lunch (if it can be). Lay out everyone outfit in their room, things like that. The best thing that I have discovered is that if I set my alarm much sooner than I actually need to get up, we all do better. For example if I know I have to be out the door by 6:30, I will set my alarm for 5:00 and the 2nd alarm for 5:30. (I have a double alarm clock-wonderful!!!!) then i hit the snooze button once or twice. Anyway by giving them what my husband calls "pretend time" we all have a chance to wake up more slowly. So that by the time it's actually time to get up and moving, it makes the process alot easier. My mom always did that with me and I've passed that along to my family now. I have to say we all wake up in much better moods like that. Good luck!

I love Nicole's advice. I'm stashing that away for use later!

I would agree that they probably aren't getting enough sleep. We all know we're supposed to get 8 hours a night, but teens should be getting 9.5!
http://parentingteens.about.com/cs/teensandsleep/a/teenss...

I would be careful not to make an adjusted bed time feel like a punishment, but be clear that you're trying to help them be better prepared for their day. If they like to read, spoil them with the latest book they've been wanting so reading it as part of a wind-down routine is a treat maybe?

Hopefull you can put everything in place so you don't ever have to have this struggle with your twins!

T.

I agree with letting the suffer the consequences at school. But I'd also take away anything and EVERYTHING they love to do or mess with at home. Cell phone? GONE. Playstation or other game system? GONE. You need to take a hard line with them. People that spend their life arriving late all the time have ZERO respect for other peoples time or needs. It's better to nip it in the bud now.

Suzi

Do you have a major problem waking them up? My mom had to wake me up as a teen too, and then right around senior year, I guess I just got mature enough and I got myself up and out the door without help. What really did it, I think was getting myself to school, I was the one responsible.

I don't know if it helps, my kids are little (and we're late a lot because they like sleep in), so I don't have much to offer as a mom.

Hi, M.;

Your children might be sleep deprived. The Today Show this morning had child development experts giving advice. One of them said that a sign of the proper amount of sleep is a child who gets up willingly and reliably. One who drags is probably not getting enough sleep. You might want to take note of the time they go to bed.

When one of our (now grown) daughters was in Middle School, she did not like it that I came in her room to get her up each morning (I worked outside the home and we had pretty tight schedules.) I told her that since she did not want me to do that, I would buy her an alarm clock. She absolutely did not like the obnoxious sound it made, so she changed her mind. She preferred mother's voice over the clock. (I made it a point to buy the most irritating sounding one I could find).

I gotta be honest. I have a great relationship with my 18, 17 and 16 yr old. ( I also have a 6 and 4 yr old) But they know that it is their responsibility to get themselves up in the morning. They know if I have to wake them up, I will come in sportin' a water sprayer and they WILL get squrted. They hate it but they also think it's funny, and they know I am not trying to be mean but that they need to learn and take the responsibility now. Or you can try a reward system for if they get themselves up and ready on time. Up to you but they need to help you out by taking care of themselves in the moring.

Hi M.,

I have a 16 year old and we are moving towards a more self reliant amd responsible for himself approach. So here are a couple of things we have done.

First off, he still has a bedtime of 10:00 pm which I think is very reasonable for him and his age.

Second, he has started taking his shower in the morning it gets him up and moving every morning.

Third, he has his on alarm clock that has a dual alarm on it. The 1st one is set for 6 am and the next one is set for 6:30 am. When he gets up at 6 he has to get a shower and get dressed and ready for school. The second one is for him to know he has 10 minutes before the bus is here and to get ready, backpack and shoes on. He walks out the door at 6:40 and the bus is here 5 minutes later.

The one thing I learned is I was enabling the behavior. How could I expect him to get up and be responsible for himself if I didn't make him be. So I know longer wake up with him or wake up to get him up.

With 2 of them taking a shower in the morning may not be possible so you just need to talk with them and set up a routine. Maybe your son gets up at early since boys tend to be quicker in the bathroom than girls. Get him up 15 minutes earlier then her. He can get ready in his room or something. Establish clear rules and a routine for the morning. Getting clothes laid out the night before and things like this.

I went through this with my teenage daughter as well. This was the final solution, I finally understood she wanted me to be up when she is up but getting her up was the problem. So first, I bought several alarms clocks and put them across the room from her in different locations and they went off at 5 minute intervals so if she turned one off and went back to bed, the next would start. When that failed after a week(because she turned them off before she went to bed), I used an old fashion method. I bought a water spray bottle and sprayed her in the face. I know it sounds mean but it worked, only took a week(with lots of yelling) and then she started getting herself up. It's a lack of respect for you and for the school system if constantly late.

good luck,
D.