Help with Bad Habit Started by Parents

My husband and I did the same thing. I know that we shouldn't have, but now it's too late. My philosophy is, if our children eat well in front of the T.V., what is the harm. My only concern is when they start going to school, I would like to set at the table so we can hear about their day. My son is almost 2 years old and I am not for sure what age to take him out of his highchair either. I don't know if I helped you at all, but good luck.

K.

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My mother, who watches and feeds my 4 year old daughter alot, swears that when she sets her up in her special chair in front of the TV that she eats great. We do have trouble with her table manners when we try and get her to sit at home with us. She just keeps getting up and wandering or playing, she never seems that interested in the food or very hungry. If she has been at my moms that day then I don't worry to much. I know it is not the right thing to do but it is a hard habit to break and when you want those little one's to eat something you will do just about anything. We got rid of the high chair to soon also. I'm trying not to worry to much about it and hope that in time things will improve. Good luck and don't be so hard on yourself, I know other parents that place a great deal of pressure on table manners and it can get embarrasing, but things could be worse.

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C.- My son will be 5 Dec. 22nd. He eats while watching T.V. We all do. He hasn't had any problems with eating or weight. He eats whatever is for dinner. I never intended on him eating in front of the t.v. forever, but when my husband and I first moved in together, we had a very small apartment. I had on of those highchairs that converted into a small table and chair for my son, and it had to be in the living room, b/c the kitchen was so small. I took him out of his highchair when he was almost 2. It could be that your son is just a picky eater, and that is why he won't try new things, or eat a lot. I know I am, so I rarely try new things. Hope this makes you feel better. Don't be to hard on your self!

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Both of my children (3 and 5) eat while watching TV. I find that is slows them down from eating and that gets annoying but it usually keeps them from fighting with each other. I was worried about our friends and neighbors finding out but it turns out that they all do the same thing!

I took both of my children out of the high chair at around 16 months. Only because I hated cleaning tit- the food got stuck in all of the little cracks. I used the booster chair until they started kicking the table and themselves over backwards. At around age 2- they both sat, knelt or stood on the chair to eat. It is what works for us.

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Hi. I use to let my now 12 year old eat in front of the TV. My 3 younger kids (4,3,18 months) never have. The only problem I have noticed is that my oldest has had weight issues from it. I have always struggled with my weight and know now that when you eat in front of the TV you tend to eat more then if you sit in a quite room and eat. Your stomach doesn't tell your brain it's full quick enough and you end up over eating causing that stuffed feeling when you aren't focused on how your body feels. I would say it's no big deal as long as you're presenting a health whole food diet and watching portion size. And if asked for more have him wait about 10 minutes and then offer seconds. Give his brain time to decide if he really needs more. If he eat there just be sure you do your best to make sure he eat right. Good Luck!!!

Hi there! i completely sympathize with you> my family never ate at the table until about 2 months ago. My husband works at night and it was easier for me to put my 3 year old and 1 year old at a high chair in front of the tv and let them eat. My advise to you is stick to your guns. It took me about 1 week of arguing and fighting and making threats to get my 3 year old to sit down and eat at dinner time. One thing that i make perfectly clear when we all sit down is that when he gets up then he is done and he doesnt get any snacks and the only thing that he gets to drink is water for the rest of the night.
I know it seems harsh but it is a pain in the neck to make dinner and since he doesnt eat it to make snacks for him all night long. We are finally getting to the point where he will eat at the table. So, make sure your child knows that it is dinner time and that if he gets up then eating is all over for the night.

We as a family all eat in the living room highchair included but we don't have a table right now, but the news is on not cartoons. My son against dads rules eats his lunch in his room after school but I want to caution you what could happen and plead with you to not let it. My stepson does everything in front of the tv and I mean everything if you turn it off he screams and throws things not joking. His mother lets him veg for hours in his room between video games and cartoons he never leaves the room. He is 10 and is adhd and has a ld he will litterly cry like an infant if we don't let him watch tv. My kids 12,7.4,18 months do eat in the living room but they have to eat all thier food to be able to go into the other room and watch cartoons, it is a strict rule. I allow my son to watch cartoons at lunch only but he is out here more than in there. Most times he will sit out here with me and not watch tv at all. I am not perfect at all but i know what we have gone through with his son and the tv, his mother took it out of his room once and he tore up the living room until she gave it back. Tv is great i for one addicted to mine thank goodness my kids would rather play mostly. The best advise I can give is you are learning as we all are day by day if it is concerning you tell him if he eats all his food then he will get to watch tv or do like the one lady said sit it on the table he will get hungry and eat. Even if it to come get a bite and go back at least he's eating. I think we are all in the day and age of the tv and there isn't much we can do about that if he is eating and it works for you then you are doing the right thing, my stepson is the extreme to the norm so dint let that worry you. Good luck

I don't think it's a problem yet, god knows we do anything to get our daughter to eat~ but I'd slowly start taking meals into the kitchen (not all at once) and show him that sometimes it's special to eat in one room or the other. We let our daughter eat in the living room sometimes too, but at dinner time we always sit together at the table, even if it's for 10 minutes and pizza. I don't think the problem will last forever, by the time he's in school you can just make him eat at the table, and he'll understand~

Hi C., I agree don't be so hard on yourself. Try casually having dinner at the table a few times a week until your son adjusts. You could also try playing a game like I spy to make the kitchen seem more fun. Good Luck!

Hi. I have step-daughter who is three and a half. We do allow eating in front of the television, but not all of the time. For family diners, everyone is expected to sit at the table and eat there. If it is just a snack, or I am too tired to put up a fight with her over eating, then I do the same thing. I have found that one way to get her to eat at the table is that she is not allowed to leave the table until her food is gone. We give her a reasonable amount of food for her age, and we expect her to eat it. If we finish eating first, we will wait for a while for her to finish. If she is being stubborn though, we tell her that we're not going to wait for her forever. We will get up and continue on with whatever we need to do. She is strapped into a highchair, so she can't get out by herself, and we don't let her get out until she has finished eating. We often remind her that if she doesn't hurry up she won't have time to play before she has to go to bed, and sometimes it does come down to that. She has sat in her chair for over an hour before, and then, when she finally did finish, she realized that it was time for bed and she did miss out because of her stubborness. There are other times when she will try to trick us by saying that she needs to go potty. We use the same methods here too. She must then sit on the toilet until she goes, she can't just use it as an excuse to get up. I hope this helps you and makes you feel a little better about yourself.

E.

Hi C.,
I wouldn't feel bad about it. There are worse things you could be doing. I would change it though. I love when my family sits down for dinner at the table. First off its cleaner that way and second its time for all of us to tell about our day. If we were in the living room in front of the tv there would be no talking. I have a 3 year old and 11 month old who love to sit and tell their father all about the day that we had. As the boys get older I know they probably won't want to talk all the time but the dinner routine will still be there.
As for the highchair question. My first son went from highchair to booster seat right around his second birthday. His booster seat is great. It straps to the chair and makes him higher up to the table. Those are my opions. Hope they helped.
Chris

Hi C.,
Don't be too hard on yourself. You can still change this habit. Try making TV time the reward for eating his food at the table. When he has cleaned his plate, he gets to watch his show. I think it's a good idea to record his favorite shows. As for when to get rid of the highchair, I think it depends on his size. My son is very tall so we moved him out of the highchair before 1 1/2 yrs. But we did buy him a sturdy foam booster seat for the kitchen table chair, and he still sits in it at the age of 3. Good luck and don't give up!!

My husband got our girls into this habit. I used to work every night and for him it was easier to plop them down in front of the TV. I broke this habit by turning it off and leaving it off until they were done eating. We also all sit at the dinner table for eating, but not just dinner for breakfast and lunch as well.

If he is sitting in front of it for every meal you can weaning him one mealtime at a time. Start with one for a week (like breakfast) then the next week go to two (Breakfast and lunch) then you can go to all three. But leave the TV off, it is a big distraction. Make sure he knows that unless he eats it will stay off. When he is done it is then ok to turn it back on. If you have to.. record his favorite shows while it is off, that's what we had to do. It will be tough beleive me... but eventually you will get him to eat at the table.

My kids are 16, 13 & 10 now and know that unless it is a pizza and movie night they eat only in the kitchen. If he sees you and dad eating at the table with him and one of you stays with him while he is there eventually he will stay and eat too.

With the new foods thing I just tell them they have to at least take 2 bites of it before they can get up. It takes at least 2 bites to absolutely decide you don't like something.

Hello C.,

I have 2 boys almost 13 and 15 and they still eat either at the snack bar or table. Only on special occasions will they be allowed to eat in the living room.

I also run a daycare and all my kids eat at the table. I turn off the tv and sometimes will put music on for them. They all know it is lunch time and they all ask me first if they can be done. I will check and either say yes or that they need to eat a little more. They are all very good at asking and even new things I will ask them to at least try it and if they don't still like it that is ok. But I pretty much make things they all like. I have ages ranging form 1-5yrs.

Don't feel bad about getting into the tv routine. Being a parent is a learning experiance. We learn as we go. It is just something you need to help your child get out of before he gets older. My own boys can't even have the tv on in the morning before school or they will get nothing done and watch it while eating and take forever.

I would do as the other post said and get into a routine of sitting at the table with him eating. It is a very good habit to get into anyways. The perfect time to talk about the day and have conversations with our children. Tell him as soon as he is done he can watch Tv but not before. If he doesn't listen then no TV. Explain it to him first what you are going to do. I usually take children out of the highchair around 1-2 yrs old. Depending on how big they are. Use a booster seat if you need to I do for my kids. But at 3 they can unlatch the belt so it won't keep him in it. It is all about letting him know what is going to happen and stick to your guns. Another rule of thumb. If you won't eat it don't make your child eat it. Not all kids are going to like things you do and that is ok. At different times in their growth they will be picky eaters to. As long as they are getting the basics they will be ok.

I wish you the best and hope everything works out. Please post back and let us know how it is going .

L.

C.,

We all do things that start habits we wish we hadn't. WE are learning how to be parents as we raise our kids. Letting your son eat in front of the TV is not desirable-- but there are far worse habits to have. My 2 1/2 loves to watch videos when he eats. I let him watch something while I prepare dinner and on the weekends in am while I pick up and he has breakfast. Otherwise it is off. Sometimes he gets upset and we just ignore it.

Put his dinner out and sit down at the table. He will eat if hungry. If he doesn't want to eat-- you need to decide whether he sits there, or can get up and place (without bringing the food with him).

In a week or so, I'll bet he'll be eating with you.