Wow, i'm reading your question and the results with tears in my eyes. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.
I think counseling is a good thing to stay with, but as some other mother's said, maybe a new technique. ABC ran a story about this not long ago, I copied and pasted the online summary below. I hope it helps, good luck to you and your children.
The loss of a parent can be devastating to a child, but they can get through it. The following organizations provide resources and counseling that can help children cope with their grief.
New York City
St. Vincent's Hospital has set up a grief center that provides counseling and family support on a walk-in basis.
St. Vincent's Hospital Reiss Pavilion 144 West 12th Street, 7th floor (between 6th and 7th Aves.) New York, NY ###-###-####
LIFENET is a free referral service provided by the Mental Health Association of New York City. The service's referral specialists put callers in touch with appropriate professionals in their area who can provide counseling for grief and emotional crises.
1-800-LIFENET ###-###-#### www.800lifenet.com/
These Web sites provide resources for grief counseling for children:
Counseling For Loss (www.counselingforloss.com)
The Grief Recovery Institute (www.grief-recovery.com)
Barr-Harris Children's Grief Center (www.barrharris.org)
Kids Aid (www.kidsaid.com)
Amanda the Panda (www.amandathepanda.org)