Help with a Picky Eater Who Is a Toddler

Aahh, the terrific twos are upon you! Yes, she is most likely getting enough to eat, yes she is also trying to have some control over her life (not neccessarily over you). She is also still quite young for logical thinking, except the simplest 'if-then' scenarios. So...
Have a variety of healthy food choices she likes. Give her a choice between two of them when she wants a snack. Make sure that she gets an afternoon snack offered, too. Sometimes kids get too hungry before dinner time and it leads to food battles. Also cut back on drinks. Water is great, but anything else, even juice and milk, can cut down her appetite. If she is getting 16 oz of milk plus a serving of cheese, yogurt, or cottage cheese, that should be plenty. At dinner, always give her tiny servings. One thing you know she likes and one thing you want her to try. One bit can be enough to start wih.
Just be patient and don't make it a battle because she gets to choose what goes in her mouth!

I'd have to agree with your Dr.
1. She won't starve.
2. She's exerting control.
3. Most toddlers eat breakfast, some lunch and almost no dinner. Its normal.

She's telling you 'in her own way' that she is hungry.....by eating! If she eats she's hungry, if she doesn't she's not. Take her at face value and don't try to read into her thoughts about whether she IS hungry or not. Don't force food, don't bribe food, don't make an issue of it. Better to spend your time enjoying your own meal rather than fretting if she's eating hers.

Hi there - A trick I picked up at my daughters' preschool is that they do a "taste test" on anything they don't think they're going to like. The idea is that they take whatever it is they think they don't want, stick it on a fork or spoon, and hold it a little in front of their mouth. Then they get to stick their tongue out really far to reach the food, and lick it two times. The sticking out the tongue part is what gets their buy-in. Of course, they always still say they don't like it, but I thank them for trying, and it's amazing how many times, by the end of the meal, they pick at that particular food and then decide it's nummy. -D.

Perhaps try letting her "dip" her food. My 18 mo old thinks it's SO FUN to dip things. If I put a little dollop of ketchup or ranch on his highchair tray, he will eat ANYTHING! He will even eat foods he won't normally eat. If he has ranch he will eat broccoli or just about any veggie. I've even seen him dip his bananas in ranch and he likes bananas already (YUK). He won't eat potatoes without ketchup. He'a laso a picky meat eater, so this really help with the protein in take. For fruits and cereal we dip those in yogurt. Hope this helps.

Hang in there. She's the right age for this. Don't start giving in and making her what she wants. That'll be a bigger fight in the long run. We use incentives sometimes with our younger one, who is also going through this. Tonight it was watermelon. If he ate his dinner, he could have as much watermelon as he wanted. Turns out dinner was even better and he asked for seconds and then thirds. Last night he got ice cream. That is an unusual incentive, but we had had a birthday yesterday. We don't require he eat a whole lot, just a reasonable amount. You have to keep in mind that the heat does reduce appetite, especially if they are dehydrated, and that appetite varies from one meal to the next. Tomorrow DS will probably eat very little for breakfast since he had so much tonight. Breakfast is usually a big meal for him. Keep offering the foods even though they aren't accepted. When our older son turned 3, we started to require 3 bites of each food as a minimum if he wanted more of anything or if he wanted desert. Now he's 4 and he offers to eat at least 4 bites of a new food, or one he doesn't like. It's not a fight anymore. Hang in there, and you'll get through it with a daughter who's eating well. It's going to be an issue for a while. GL!

Hang in there and keep putting the picky foods on her plate. If she wants more mac and cheese or what not have her take one bite of veggies. Don't forget she is trying to become more independent so the more of an issue you make out of food the more she may use it as a battle ground. Hang in there, some 2 year olds will only eat beige food at 2. It is normal.

R.

M.,

From personal experience with TEN children, pleanty of friends, nieces and nephews...choose a different worry!! lol

She's not going to allow herself to starve. We all go through cycles. Simply offer her what you're eating and that's it. Either she'll eat it or she won't. No big deal. Stop going into a frenzy over it. Have you ever noticed another mother having an issue with her child not eating...they look silly and are entertaining...or frustrating! You don't want to start a struggle of wills.

Relax. Stay Calm.

I have never catered to my children, I'm not a short order cook. We have what we have. If they don't want to eat; fine. They're not going to be damaged if they miss ONE meal. Usually, they want whatever it is later on.

Some people only allow eating at those magical minutes when EVERYONE is eating and then take the food away and you can just be hungry until morning. Some will give you dinner, if you're not interested you don't have to eat it, but when you get hungry again THAT is what you get to eat until bedtime.
I'm more of the latter...so long as it isn't time for bed they can choose to eat their portion of what dinner was, then they wash the plate.

Remember, Food going in and food going out are the only things a little one has control over...they like to use it.

Have you checked out Jessica Seinfeld's recipes? Some can be found online and she has a book. There are some good sounding meals and snacks for healthy families. I found her on a link at Oprah's site.

I can't tell you what to do about it, but I can tell you that you're not alone! I've had some similar struggles with my daughter (same age) and it's so agrivating, only my dauther is under weight so I have a different concern. Anyway, I'm with you!

You might like the book "My Child Won't Eat." It's published by La Leche League, and addresses some of the issues you are dealing with. It's in paperback, but it's pretty new--I think it's only been out for about a year, so it's current, but you probably wouldn't find it at the library yet. I know you could order it through La Leche League at www.llli.org. I really recommend it.
Also, Dr. William Sears has a book called The Family Nutrition Book that talks about basic good nutrition for people of all ages. That one doesn't address pickiness in such depth, but I remember reading that it says not to worry about toddlers having nutritionally balanced days, but go for a nutritionally balanced week overall.
Does cooking with her make things more interesting? My kids like helping in the kitchen and are more likely to eat what they've helped make.
Good luck!

With 6 in our family, I don't have time to make "special" meals. The house rule is you may choose to eat what is served. If you make a "happy plate" you can have a treat afterwards. Kids will eventually eat when they're hungry enough. No "happy plate" means no treat. Of course, there was the time one of my neices was staying with us and I told her she could not have a cupcake unless she made a "happy plate". She pondered this for a moment and then carefully arranged her dinner into a broad smiley face. We all had a good laugh and yes, she got her cupcake!

Hi M.,
I know how frustrating it can be. My dd used to be a good eater until she was about 13 months old then she became picky. I found out she has food allergies about a year old and changed some of her foods. My dd loves her fruits but won't eat veggies. I have to give her flat earth chips which are made of veggies and V8 fusion. Those are the only ways to get veggies in her. My dd is now 2 and for the last 2 months she would tell me no breakfast mom. I went and bought the carnation breakfast powders which give her the protein and calcium needed.You are in the stage that the child is finding her independance and will be picky and difficult. My child will also stop eating things if it upsets the tummy or causes the constipation. I hope this helps and gl.

M., my 19 month old is super picky, too! I have started using the cookbook Deceptively Delicious, by Jessica Seinfeld, which is all about "sneaking" fruits and veggies into your kids' food. My kids have eaten everything I've cooked from that book really well with very few complaints. She has recipes for healthier chicken nuggets and mac & cheese as well as more adventurous dishes. Or, you could start out with a box of mac & cheese and add a jar of pureed sweet potato instead of the milk and butter. My kids think it's a great treat and have no idea it's better for them. It seems like a lot of work to puree all the veggies, but if you don't have time for that, jars of baby food or frozen squash work just as well! My kids still don't eat all their dinner all the time, but at least I feel a little better knowing that they are getting a little bit of veggies. Good luck with your little ones!

Stop caving. She won't let herself starve. If she won't eat it when you give it to her the first time, wrap it up and put it in the fridge. When she indicates she's hungry, pull it out, heat it up, and give it to her. Don't give her milk in the evenings unless she's eaten her meal...or at least part of it. If she still won't eat it, wrap it up, and prepare it for breakfast the next day. She'll learn she has to eat what is in front of her. Otherwise, she'll keep seeing it. This may take a day or so; but she won't let herself starve. It is very uncomfortable to be hungry and she'll want to fix that as quickly as possible doing whatever it takes.

We have a picky eater as well and I was worried and spoke to the pediatritian at his check up, he said don't worry about it! The more focus and attention she gets the worse it gets! I think toddlers just want some control and sometimes this is how they get it! You are doing great!

Hi M.,

I have 2 picky eaters, so I can totally relate! My best advice is to be firm and consistent with your daughter. At our house we have these rules for dinner: you may choose to eat what is served for dinner, or not, but Mommy and Daddy will not prepare something else for you to eat; if you choose not to eat, that is fine, but then dinner is over and there are no snacks before bedtime; you must eat at least half of everything on your plate before you have dessert. (We always serve a protein, a veg, and then something else like rice or a fruit.)

Also, is she snacking before dinner? You might want to try cutting off snacks a few hours before dinner, to make sure she's hungry when it's dinner time.

Whatever you decide to do, just know that this is totally normal behavior! Also, I've heard that sometimes kids need to try a food 30 times before they like it, so don't give up!

Good luck :)

love, P.

I dont really have much advice but just wanted to say that I think it's an age thing. My son went through it too at that age and it seemed to last forever but then all of sudden one day he started eating again... A LOT! So try to be patient I guess.

toddlers are funny about food. they go through weird food phases. i try to keep the ingredients separate on my kids' plates because if it's in a casserole and they can't identify it, they tend to not eat it unless i point out every ingredient, and even then i sometimes have to bribe with dessert. if there is a sauce, i try to put it on the side for dipping. i can't do every meal this way, but it sometimes helps. sometimes i make pictures on the plate with the food. faces are especially easy. sometimes i let them choose the vegetable, fruit, or side dish. things like juice, soda, pudding, and even fruit with a little whipped cream or a maraschino cherry are considered desserts for eating after the rest of the food, and they can be great motivators.

My son is 23 months and is basically doing the same thing. He usually eats well for breakfast, but lunch and dinner are iffy. He's 30 lbs also and is very healthy, so I don't worry about it much. He has days when he eats a ton and other days he just grazes. It all started about 2 or 3 months ago. He hasn't lost weight and still has his chub, so as long as your daughter is acting normal and not fussy or losing weight, I wouldn't worry much. And definitely don't start catering to her or you'll really have a fight on your hands! They don't forget! : )
Good luck! I'm in the battle with you!