HELP With a Capital "H"!!!

Could be worse. I have 2 sets of twins. Neither set are good about napping or sleeping through the night. One of my girls did have a problem with reflux. I bought two FisherPrice toddler rocker chairs. Sitting in that chair until she goes to sleep will help you daughter's reflux because it allows the food to move downward. If I have trouble getting them to sleep, then i rock them to sleep. I know all the parents and books say that is a bad idea, but for me it was the only way to get them to sleep. Leave them i the chair til they are good and sleepy, then put them in their beds. That's what I have done. good luck.

My nephew had acid reflux, The only thing that halped was to prop him up not lay him down flat when he slept. We cushioned up a carseat he did fine.

"Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" saved my life. I used the techniques on my older two girls when they were 5 months. Since then, they have gone to bed early, stayed in bed and slept through the night. (They have regressed a few times, but I can always get them back on track). They are now 6 and 4.

I have several things you can try you may have heard them all but hopefully they will help.Ok you can try gripe water the little tummies brand not baby bliss it was recalled.Or annoying things seem to put babies right to sleep static on the radio vaccuum cleaners white noise on the tv blow dryers.I know thosee sound crazy but seem to work.Also maybe your baby doesnt like the cold bed try putting a heating pad in the bed just before laying baby down to warm up the bed take it out before u put bay in of course.It just warms the sheet.Also may baby likes having your smell there so try puting a blanket in batween you and baby when you are getting her to sleep and then laying her down with the blanket.My baby likes the bear that makes the noises of the womb it also plays music and heatbeat sounds you can buy it at walmart.I hope some of these help.Also try mylicon.I think you said your baby had meds for reflux.My baby has reflux also and he is on zantac and reglan you might try this if you arent happy with your meds.

BLESS YOU!!!!!!

You have twin babies with a 3 1/2 year old. I was in your shoes four years ago. My daughter was 3 1/2 when my twin boys were born. Now they are 8 and 4 1/2. One twin had reflux too. Not the crying though. Girrrlll, I don't know what to tell you except HANG ON. It gets better, but you you've got some trying times ahead of you. The best advice I can give you is get out of the house if you can. This always changes the scenery for them and they like it. Even as they are crying...put them in the stroller and go outside. Try everything you can think of....give them a bath...play music. If nothing works and you don't have help, put the babies in their crib and you, K., go outside breathe some air. Relax your mind...take a hot bath. You MUST take care of yourself first so you have the energy to take care of your kiddos. Eat right and get good rest. YOU MUST DO THIS. Also get help. The first year I hired a 55 year old lady from church to come and hold my babies for five hours a day twice a week...this is all I could afford, but she was a God send. Call your local churches and ask for this help. Bless you.

Poor baby and poor you!

It will get better. Let me first send you my unwavering support for you. You are the center of the universe for them, so do your best to remain calm during the shreiking. It's hard, I know. Even if you have to step away, it's better than boiling over.

I doubt strong-will is your problem. In my opinion she's too young for that. I think she's probably having pain, and it sounds like you're doing what you can on that front. Thinking of her crys as notification that she's in pain will make you more sympathetic to her, that's good. Doesn't mean you'll be able to always tolerate it with a smile, but at least it'll probably keep you from getting mad at her. (You are allowed to be mad at the situation, just not her.)

She could have an allergy to breastmilk- it's rare but possible. You might talk with your doc about that if the prevacid doesn't seem to help. And you might do a little research on it to see if your (her) symptoms match up.

Otherwise hang in there! It'll get better, I promise. Remember her crys are not a personal affront to you, rather a call for attention and help. Do your best, that's all you can do. Love her up when she's calm, and when she's not, well love her more then. Do your best to get some rest, frayed nerves are exacerbated by sleep-deprivation (I'm sure you know well). Know that you're not alone, and that we are never given more than we can handle, we just have to dig really deep sometimes.

I feel for you! Best of Luck! You can get through another day, and another, and another, and then it will slowly get better. You can do it! You can do it!
Sending you wellness wishes
J.

First of all K., let me say congrats on the birth of your twins. I know it's not easy managing two infants plus a three year old. I have boy/girl twins who are now 3. You will get over this hump. I promise.

My daughter had reflux as an infant. I think that when the Prevacid has had a chance to work that it will help your daughter significantly in the sleep department. I had reflux about 5 years back as an adult - and let me tell you it is not fun and it is especially difficult when you lay down as all that acid from you stomach tends to flow up and become uncomfortable (burns your throat and gives you a mini-throw up feeling and a bad taste in your mouth.) I can only imagine how an infant must feel with it. If it is possible, sleep her in a reclined position (head higher than feet) for a while at nap time. Even if this means trying to sleep her in her infant carrier/car seat, or in a swing if it positions properly. They make inclined wedges that you can buy at BabiesRUs etc that can help make her bed positioning more reclined if she isn't a big wiggle-and-mover in bed. I know some mom's who have rolled up a towel and put it under the mattress at one end of the crib to give the mattress a slight recline. Anyway - these are some things to try.

If you aren't already part of a mother's of multiples group they can also be a great support network. I belong to a local multiples group: www.LCMOM.org (Lake Cities Mothers of Multiples). It's a great support network for moms who are juggling twins, triplets and more.

I also live in Keller. Feel free to contact me at anytime you need a listening ear: ____@____.com

Best wishes to you,
G.

I second the idea of reflux. For adults, it's pretty painful and can be worse when you are lying down. So I imagine it can hurt for little ones, too.

It's so hard when they can't tell you what's going on with them! And when you're tired, it's hard to think (it is for me anyway).

She could also be over tired. My oldest could be like that. We always had a long story time just before bed just to help him wind down and get prepped for napping.

If it turns out to not be reflux, have you tried the "Ferber Method" Here is a link that I found http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified...

We used this with both of our kids and we have never had a problem with them sleeping on their own. They are now 9 and 4 and we put them to bed awake and do our "routine". It is hard to get past the first few days, but if you are already letting her cry it out, this might be an easy change of pace for you.

Good Luck!

M.
www.WellnessStartsInTheHome.com
www.WorkingWithFamilies.com

I have 7 month old twins and they seem to do the "power nap" as well. Just when I think they will be down for a little while so I can accomplish anything around the house or work on my daughter's pre-school workbooks, they are back up again. Good thing is, they seem to do it in sync. That must be difficult for you to keep them on the same schedule with one sleeping and one not. I don't really mind it too much though, because the less they sleep during the day the better they sleep at night. They have been doing this since about 4 months old, but have been sleeping through the night ever since as well. I know it's hard to be patient with the screaming, because I can't stand it when one of my sons does that screeching thing either. I usually won't pick him up until he starts crying in a softer tone so as to not reward that loud behavior. I know he's just mad but I tell him "no sir, don't yell at mommy" in a stern tone and he usually calms down a little so I will pick him up. Also, sometimes when they are really tired and fighting sleep I give them a bottle with a little water in it and it seems to calm them enough to relax into sleep. When the bottle starts running low I switch it real quick for the pacifier and they're out like a light. You might try it... good luck I hope you can figure this one out. Kids are so crazy sometimes :) Don't lose patience. Yous sound like someone who really loves her children and that makes you a good mother...don't stress

Have you tried gas drops?

Do you think the early morning nap is too early? Maybe try going down later. With mine, they usually slept at about 10 or 11 and again about 4 or so at that age. When making the transition from more frequent naps, would not sleep as long and would be more tired. When I cut out one nap, they were more active and slept longer.

Also, maybe teething?

sounds like digestive problems/reflux. try taking a digestive enzyme yourself since you are still breastfeeding. don't drink cow's milk yourself. just lots of purified water. the letting her sleep sitting up in soothing swing of one of the vibrator seats would be good too. This too shall pass!

Do you have a friend or relative that could come over at these times? Some babies just aren't sleepers. Each has a different personality even in the sleeping department. Accept them in all the ways they are made and then relax in the unique way each is made. The babies could be feeling your stress too.

OK....if it IS her formula, have you tried the Enfamil AR?? It is the 7th (and last) formula that we tried with our son, and we had NO problems with 'reflx' after that. Occasional gas, yes, but no more reflux.

Try going to WebMD.com, and look for "symptom tracker". You may be able to find some answers there. You might also want to look for a pediatric gastrointestinal specialist (there are several really good ones at Medical City). You can also find doctors at WebMD.com, including limiting your search to dr's who take your insurance (I've found several of our dr's this way!).

Babies generally don't *scream* for 40 minutes straight, and certainly that would be the cause of her "vomiting", so you have every right to be concerned, and to be looking for answers.

Hope this helps! Let me know if you need to find some other resources ~ I've gotten pretty good at finding them, lately!

~J.~

You are describing high-pitched shrieks that start after you put her down for a nap and spit up. Crying and sheiks are different to me. Crying is just a fussy baby, and shrieks are usually pain related.

To me it sounds like acid reflux. Both my kids had it as babies and did not grow out of it until after they turned one.
See if there is someway to safely elevate her while she is sleeping. For naps, I used the potable car seat with my kids.(car seat on the floor only, not a table.) When they got to old for the car seat I used the stroller and put the headrest in the sitting position. I never left the room while they were in it, but it freed my arms up so they could take a nap. You could also sit her up in a babyswing for naps. Just do not have the swing swinging.

At night we angled the crib mattress. There is a special sling you can by that will keep baby from sliding down the mattress. I think it is called a Jonathan sling. Ask your pedi. I got my through Cooks Children’s hospital.

Hang in there.

Sounds like reflux....
My daughter developed reflux after battling RSV last winter. Long story short...zantac and thickening her formula with cereal turned her around. Her pulmonologist recommended the cereal in the bottle. It was prescribed by the doc while she was in the hospital. The pedi nurse brought special nipples, a pair of scissors to widen the whole, and a cup of cereal to her hospital room...so this was NOT a home remedy!!!!! I know alot of people frown upon it but....I'm tellin' ya...it worked wonders. About a teaspoon and a half per every 4 oz of formula.

Try some of that gas medicine, I know that helped my children. Also, give her a warm bath in the evenings w/that lavendar bath wash, take them out for a nice stroller ride, that tired my son out for sure ! How about a little bit of gerber oatmeal in the evening time, maybe she needs a little solid in her tummy ! Good Luck & keep us posted on your results ! God Bless ~

A 6-month-old doesn't yet have the will to be labeled "strong-willed" so that's certainly not the problem. She'll be at least two before her will starts driving you crazy :-).
I agree with the other moms that it sounds like reflux and she's likely in pain when she cries like that. From what I hear from other moms of reflux babies, you're lucky that she only cries 40 minutes! They have all lamented about 2 hours of non-stop, inconsolable crying.
If she'll calm down when you hold her, you might try rocking her to sleep for a while until you know the medical problem is solved. I know it's against most of the "expert" advice, but you can easily break the habit when she's feeling better. I don't have a problem letting a perfectly healthy, tired baby cry himself to sleep, but at 6 months, if she's in pain, she needs you. My son was sick a lot as an infant and we did everything "wrong" -- paci's, rock to sleep, etc., but we also had a toddler to care for and did whatever it took to get sleep! We all survived and he is 2 1/2 and goes to sleep without any problems and is even a better sleeper than his sister, who was a 'perfect' Babywise baby.
As far as her possibly being over-tired.... reflux could also be the cause of her not getting deep enough sleep. It sounds like you know what you're doing with sleep and routines. You didn't mention a 3rd nap in the day, but I can't imagine a 6 month old staying up all afternoon until bedtime (will their bodies let them at that age?). It seems that both of mine still took a short nap around 5pm at that age.
Also, we figured out that his "cry time" was literally 18 minutes. Yes, we timed it ;-) because he seemed to get MORE upset every time we checked in when we tried Babywise/Ferber. So I decided to give him an extra 10 minutes, and he went to sleep 2 minutes before I was due to check on him. After that, for several weeks, it took him exactly 18 minutes of crying before he went to sleep. I have a friend whose daughter cried for about 30 or 40 minutes before falling to sleep too. Eventually she outgrew it.

It's hard when you're still in the first year of a baby's life (or two babies' lives!), but it's likely that your first child also had sleep issues, etc. pop up from time to time in her first year. The difference is that you only had one child to tend to and you could meet her needs without a thought as to what else was happening in your household. Hang in there, and remember that this will pass. There is a solution to the problem and you have the right tools, knowledge and experience to figure it out.

Call me crazy, seems like a shreiking baby at 40 minutes out means something isn't right. There again, mine don't nap well either - so maybe I did something wrong.

Does she go to sleep in your arms or another vertical position (swing, bouncy seat), or does she scream there too? If she sleeps vertical but not horizontal then reflux could be a real issue, if she screams in either position - while it may be there, doesn't seem like that's your problem.

S.

Hi K.
You might have already figured it out but I wanted to let you know. I have a little boy who would start screaming when I put him down and he would not stop for awhile after that. I nursed him as well. I figured out that he could not handle milk. I am milk sensitive but I would still eat stuff with it in it. So when I cut milk out completely from my diet his screaming stopped. It is worth the try if the reflux does not work. Good Luck

Acid reflux, throwing up prior to the crying, sounds like your child isn't feeling well. You can always lay her down so her head is higher than her feet and see if that helps her. I would be patient until the medicine kicks in and gives her relief. Be patient and don't let her cry it out anymore. She's in pain and needs you.

I am so sorry you are not getting any sleep. I know the feeling. It is great that you are breastfeeding but I have a small solution that you may not like. My youngest Had GERD as a baby and its pretty bad. We tried medicine and nothing seemed to work. Eventually I was told by the doctor to stop breastfeeding and to try Enfamil A.R along with the medicine. This formula is specially made for infants that have severe reflux disease like mine did. It worked wonders and we finally got some sleep. I know that you may not want to try this because breas feeding is best but I will tell you I was at the end of my rope and was willing to try anything. My daughter had such bad reflux 3/4 of whatever she drank came right back up as soon as she was finished. IT was awful and no one got sleep because she was hurting so bad. This is just a suggestion but you may want to think about it.

Why does she have take a nap? At a specefic time I mean. My daughter is now 5 but as an infant she pretty much made her oun schedule. She slept when she was sleepy and didn't when she wasn't. I could tell when she was about to nod off or was just plain sleepy so I would put her down then. Just imagine if someone told you that you HAD to go to sleep when you weren't sleepy. You could lay there for over an hour. Same for the baby. Let her decide when she's ready for a nap and everyone will be happier.

I have 2 kids, one who is 14 and still sleeps 10 hours a day and one who is 9 that has never slept more than 8 or 9 hours a day. I think your son may be one of those kids who just doesn't require that much sleep. Try getting him up at the usual 6:45 and not putting him down for a nap until after lunch. If you go to one nap a day with him he will probably sleep for at least an hour and then won't need to go to bed until around 8 that night. It might take a few days to get him used to the new schedule, but I think you'll get more out of one nap in the middle of the day than several cat naps throughout the day.

Find someone who has the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and borrow it. It is an extremely good book. Your daughter should go down for naps roughly two hours after she wakes. If you wait too long, she'll get overtired and won't sleep (even 15 min. over). Try putting her to bed earlier also. Sleep begets sleep. I know it doesn't really make sense, but it works. Trust me. Also, any time that kids are going through some type of development physically or mentally they need MORE sleep. I've gone through the nap issue several times. This won't be the only time this happens, so finding what works now will be a key. Don't give up, kids need sleep!

I hope that this week is calmer for you and you can get some rest. I think that is the first step because your note sounds very tired and stressed out. Having said that, a 6 month old should not be put down to cry and scream for that long. That just hurts my heart to hear. Your poor baby is hurting and can't explain it to you and is screaming for your help. Don't stop bothering your doctor until he/she helps you. Your baby depends on you. The sleeping more upright in a swing or bouncy is a great idea. Do not lay them on their back in a crib if you think they are hurting.
My heart goes out to you too because being a mommy can be stressful--especially when it's twins and you are breastfeeding. Maybe you can get a good friend, neighbor or family member to give you a break between feedings and get a massage or something for yourself. You can't afford to lose your calm and patience too. You need to get a little break. Good luck Mom!

K.,
I too have a son that has reflux that we didn't know about until having him (he is adopted) for about two months. Before even finishing your request I was thinking reflux. What can happen is that the fluid in the tummy comes back up when lying down and over time creates a ulcer in the esophagus. And it REALLY hurts so that could be why the scream is so bad. My son used to wake up from a dead sleep screaming after an hour or so. It drove us nuts because I didn't know what was wrong with him and the crying about made me have a nervous breakdown. No kidding. I still have a hard time hearing him cry due to all the feelings of being an inadequate mom that it gave me at the time.
I had a really hard time getting my doctor to help me out but I finally had to get kind of ugly and told them they needed to do something. They prescribed Prevacid but it really didn't help too much. He has been on Zantac for a while now and the symptoms are gone. You need to prop her up most of the time. Have you heard of a Tucker sling? It props them up while they sleep. I very good investment if reflux is your problem. Also you could give some Cherry flavored Mylanta supreme for pain. I used about 1ml before putting him down when he was about 4 months old. I'll try and find the dosage and send it to you. This kind doesn't have any aluminum in it. I put it in a nipple and let him suck it down. It helped alot.
I would really consider asking your doctor about using Zantac instead. The only thing is that the Zantac liquid is flavored a very strong mint. It was kind of tricky getting him to take it at first but he figured out soon that it was helping him so he started taking it with no problem. Now he loves it.
Hope this helps you out.
Please feel free to email me with any questions or comments.
C.

I can't offer a solution but I can say I know how you feel. I would suspect that reflux might be part of the problem but meds didn't change much with my son. It only got better when he started walking. He has always been a poor sleeper. At six months he was only taking 2 45 minute naps during the day and sleeping 2 4 hour stretches at night. I thought I was going to die and I only had ONE!!! I did notice if I worked really really hard at tiring him out (constant stimulation) he slept better. I tried the crying it out thing, his limit was 3 hours of crying!! I only tried a couple of times and just gave up. I don't think crying works for all kids. Even now at three, he is really not able to calm himself down or get thru things without assistance. Crying it out for him only meant getting more and more worked up. All I can say is keep your chin up and do what your instincts are telling you. It is very hard to sort out what is manipulative behavior and what is not. Good Luck

The book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" was extremely helpful to me. It is written by a pediatric sleep doctor. In the book there are charts and information for each stage that tell you what time to put your kid down for naps to maximize sleep. It is always difficult when they are between stages, but he explains that and gives advice. I think if you can get confident in your plan it will be much easier.

Hi K.. I am so sorry you are struggling with this - how frustrating for everyone! Keep praying and try to know that it will pass. You can do it! :)

Okay, the 2 sleep resources that were so helpful to me with my boys are Healthy Sleep Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth - although a lot of great information and I still reference it today with my 3 and 5 year-olds, the main thing I learned when my first was around 4-months old - is a shorter awake time! My boys could only be awake for about 1 hour 40 mins at a time. I learned to watch for cues and put them down during their window - which made things a lot easier. Give it a read if you haven't already. The other book I like - you have to get it on-line is the The Baby Sandman. He combines "tricks" from all of the sleep doctors and specialists which is very helpful!

Okay, about the reflux, I am a pediatric OT and have worked with a few reflux babies. It is very possible she is in pain. Have you tried inserting a small wedge under the sheet where she sleeps, or elevate one end of the mattress to have her head raised up a bit - this may help. Also, not sure what type of feeding schedule you are on - butyou may want to try feeding when she wakes and not before sleep...

Good luck to you and your sweet little ones!
Krystal

I recommend having her sleep semi-upright until the reflux medicine kicks in.

Some parents have let their kiddos nap in a swing, but I don't recommend that. Its a whole new bad habit you'll just have to break later.

Try propping one end of the crib up with phone books, or try buying one of those incline sleepers.

Oh, and she'll grow out of it. Mine was a horrible sleeper, but once we got the acid under control, she was a super napper! She grew out of it and, a 2 yrs old, still takes a 3 hour nap!

Reflux is quite painful and a semi-upright position will keep the acid from building up in her chest. Oh, to answer your questions: she might be strong willed, but a strong willed cry is different from a painful, miserable, hurting cry - listen close. Also, you can worry about breaking "bad habits" once you are sure she's not in pain anymore. Right now, responding to her hurting cries will make her more secure in her world! If you pick her up, pat her back, and she falls asleep in your arms semi-upright - then it probably is the pain. Hang in there mom! :)

hi K.
i have four children - ages 7, 4, 2 and 6 months. my first had reflux and i didnt know it until after a month. the reflux was absolutely horrible. he screamed a lot - during feedings, after feedings but he didnt really spit up a lot b/c for some reason it wasnt really coming out, just moving up and down in his esophagus causing burning - it did take about a week for the meds to work - my ds was put on baby zantac. anyway - if i were you, i'd not let her cry it out until you find out if hte meds work. if it is the reflux, the poor thing is screaming in pain. wait until you know. my other three kids - NEVER needed to cry it out - i didnt run to them immediatley, but never had to let them cry more than 3-4 minutes. a 6 month old should be able to go to sleep on his own at least sometimes - w/o screaming/crying at all. i really think something is wrong - and reflux is usually the problem. also - try having the baby nap in the car seat - helps keep the acid down!

hugs - this will end!

It does sound like reflux....here is my two cents...
*My kids would get up around that time, after about 1.5 hours or 1.75 hours I would lay them down for nap one. Once up, I would wait another 2 hours and lay down again. One of my kids even did a third nap for a while.
*I am not an advocate for crying it out. I strongly believe at that age we are to meet their needs. I understand the frustration....my second had reflux and I had a toddler at home, so I get it. I read "the no cry sleep solution" book for some help. I now let my 2 year old fuss for a while, but not until that age. When a baby is crying that much for that long, there is not pure oxygen getting to the brain....this is not good and if done over and over can cause problems. Look at Dr. Sears website for more on this.

I will keep you in my prayers also....you must be exhausted and worn out. Get some support from someone who can be extra hands if possible. Don't be super woman....get those close to you to help out with these lil' ones.