Help with 4 Month Old Sleeping

I'm sure you're probably exhausted but your son isn't ready to sleep through the night and asking a 4 month old to do so is unrealistic. He needs the night time feeding. Don't worry about him sleeping in the pack and play. We used it as our "basinet" for our daughter until she was about 5 months old (just lowered her down based on weight). It worked fine and she took to her crib easily. Try to look at those night time feedings as your special, uninterupted time with your son.

Good Luck,
S.

sounds to me like he is just hungry - trying giving him some supplemental formula to help him through the night - mine is 8 mos old and sleeps almost 12 hours a night- but not if he is hungry! good luck

Hi,
My son is 8mths and breastfed as well. He wakes up every night at 10ish, 3ish, and around 6. It's been going on since birth! I have been told to let him cry it out. We tried with no success. His crying got worse rather then diminish. I've also heard that trying formula helps fill them at night. that is if he'll take it (mine wonn't). You could also try a method by ferber. What you do is feed him when he wakes, be increase the time between feedings by 15 min-30 min increments each night until you eliminate extra feedings. For example, if he wakes every 4 hours, on the 4th hour, say it's 3am, make him wait until 3:15 until you go get him and then feed him. Next night, make him wait until 3:30 then feed him, etc. The goal is for him to gradually move his feelings of hunger out of the nightime. It's tough, but it wounldn't hurt to try. My 2 kids are also supposed to share a room. My 2 yr old son used to be in his room and our 8myh in our room. We ended up switching them so that we could let the baby cry without being in the same room as him. the baby knew we were right there and it was as if we were torturing him by ignoring his cries being so close to him. It was unbearable. Well, good luck and realize that the 1st year is the toughest with rest. It will pass. I tell myself that everyday!

J.

Your son is too young to necessarily be sleeping through the night yet. He's crying because he's hungry. According to my favorite sleep book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", he may need to be fed once or sometimes even twice a night until as old as 9 months. My son needed one feeding until he was about 7 or 8 months old.

Hi K.,

He's too young to 'sleep through the night'. Sleeping through the night is only about 6 hours for his age. Have you thought of co-sleeping? This will help minimize the disruption to your sleep and to his.

E. P.

Some babies are hungrier than others, if feeding is the only thing that calms him down then maybe he is just hungry? Maybe start him on a little cereal and a good long nursing before bed? 4 months old is too young to expect a breastfed baby to sleep all the way through the night. I personally slept with my babies until they were about 7-8 months old, were eating solids regularly, and weren't waking up to nurse. It is sooooo much easier to just roll over and nurse, than get up and nurse in a chair and try to get them to go back to sleep on their own.

My goodness, It's sad to hear stories like this! I come from a long line of mothers, we have all breastfed and had our babies in bed with us and nursed through the night. I do not know how anyone does it differently when you nurse! your baby needs to nurse every few hours, it is SO MUCH easier for you to have him next to you during the night, you both get to sleep AND he gets that nurturing that he so needs. Your sleep does not need to be interrupted except to put the baby to the breast a few times during the night. My baby is ten weeks old (and my two sisters have a eight week old and a five month old)and we have never really been sleep deprived, and our babies are happy and healthy! My mom is a Le Leche League Leader(and EXCELLENT resource for breastfeeding moms with support groups in almost every town), a doula and a lactation consultant. She raised seven kids and has passed her teaching to her children. Your baby needs you and is telling you that by crying during the night. Babies do not need to "cry it out", they need their mommies! Try bring him to bed with you, also try putting him in a sling during the day so he can nurse on demand when he needs it (this will help him not be so hungry during the night as well) and PLEASE get the Dr. Sears books (an excellent one on nightime parenting) and the Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff(a must for any mom). Listen to your instincts and your baby on this one. Good luck!

I feel for you! Have you tried a pacifier? Maybe he isn't hungry, just needs to suck on something. My youngest is a big pacifier baby. I am not saying this is necesarily a good thing...but it may provide for some peace. I am coming to the time where I need to get my son off of it...which is no fun either. But it might help you get some sleep now.

Just a thought!

H. Z. (SAHM 5, almost 4 and 16 month old boys)

I was told by my pediatrician that they will probably wake throught the night until around 6 months for feedings. After the 6 month point, shy away from feeding during the night. Maybe give your baby 2 more months of night feeding and see how it goes? Good luck!

You've gotten a lot of great advice - i agree with all those that said 4 months is way too young to expect him to sleep though the night without feeding, and he is not old enough to let him cry it out. he is crying because he is hungry. I recommend The Baby Whisperer Solves all your problems, by tracy haag. She advises "tanking up" by cluster feeding before bed, and then doing a "dreamfeed" before you go to bed. That is, you gently get him to breastfeed without even waking up. It takes a few tries to get it right but works like a charm - you might get 6 hours after that or even more. I did the dreamfeed til about 8 months probably. hope that helps.

It's not the easiest thing to hear, but your baby is likely nowhere near ready for "sleeping through the night." I completely second what Liz D wrote, and others along those lines. Co-sleeping is a terrific solution to try, and it's an amazingly wonderful bonding experience too. You'll all be feeling much better soon.

I think it is a lot to ask for a 4 month old to sleep through the night. Maybe you should move the crib into your room if you are worried about her waking up her sibling.

My 18 month old still wakes once during the night. Maybe he needs a binkie to suck on at night, starting to teeth, or maybe he is just plain hungry. My oldest slept through the night at 3 weeks but my little guy has yet to sleep the entire night. My friends youngest didn't sleep through the night until 8 months he always woke once for a night feeding. Every baby is different. I hope he out grows that night feeding for you soon. I know what its like to be sleep deprived.

Most 4 month olds do not sleep through the night. Those who do their parents are lucky! Try giving him 4 oz of formula in a bottle after you nurse for only 10 mins!

Hi - I have a 10 month old and a 3 year old. My 3 year old slept thru the night at 4 months with no problem. But my 10 month old was a completely different story! He would wake every night around 2am. We finally started giving him a bottle at 11pm or so just as we were going to bed. (In other words, even if he was sleeping, we would gently lift him out, he'd take the bottle and then go back into his crib). Then he would sleep until 6 or 7am. So at least it was on our schedule vs. being awakened at 2 or 3am. This worked great for us and finally at about 8 or 9 months we tried just putting him down at 7pm and happily, he would sleep through until morning. That said, he has a terrible cold and ear infection at the moment, so he's back to waking. So, we've just implemented the evening bottle on our schedule again, and it's working fine. Just a suggestion. Good luck!

Hi K. - You said you try to nurse him before he goes to bed. Have you tried instead getting him up and nursing him before YOU go to bed, then putting him back down. We did that with my son from about 10 weeks on and he would sleep about 6 hours at a stretch. I'd get him up at 10, change him if necessary and feed him then put him back down. He'd sleep til 4, nurse again and go back to sleep for another 3 hours maybe. As he got older he'd sleep until 5, 6, now about 6:30-7. He's almost 11 mos and I still get him up at 10 to nurse one last time. Good luck.

I bet he is actually hungry! My LO needed to be fed at night til she was 6 mos old, and then just stopped. You can try wake-to-sleep if he wakes at the exact same time every night. If it is random times then it is more than likely actual hunger. If it is the same time, then it might be learned hunger. If you try wake-to-sleep and it works, but he wakes an hour later anyways, then again, he is actually hungry.
Remember, a baby's belly is very small and can only hold so much food, so they need nourishmnet every few hours. It will pass soon enough!
Look up wake-to-sleep on the internet if you do not know what it is....
Good luck!

I think your baby is hungry, and you should continue to feed him until he gets more nutrition from solids. I have read that breastfed babies need at least 1-2 feedings at night until they are 9-12 months old, depending on the baby.

Hi,

There's a good book out there called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. If you have to feed him during the night, try to nurse a few less minutes each night.

He probably still needs to eat. At this point, I'd suggest just getting up, quickly feeding him, and getting him back to bed. 3-4 months is too little to CIO, especially if there's a good chance he's really hungry. If he's still waking at 6 months, I'd do stuff to try to drop that night feeding. Is there anyone you can give a night to? If he's just waking up once, is there anyone else who can do one bottle occasionally (if he hasn't had a bottle before, the middle of the night would not be the time to try). Skipping one middle of the night nursing session won't drastically impact your milk production, and will probably do wonders for your sanity. Good luck. I know being sleep deprived is no fun. Hopefully not much longer...

K.,

I hate to tell you this but your son shouldn't be sleeping thru the night yet. Be happy it's only once a night that he wakes up. At 4 months my daughter got up twice still. I just took my daughter for her 9 month check up and the doctor said I can now try to nudge her into making it thru the night without waking.
Formula takes 3 hours for a baby to digest, breastmilk only 1 hour. Also waking is a way for your son's body telling him he needs food - and also reduces the risk of SIDS. I've tried going to bed earlier to make up for the getting up in the middle of the night feedings.
Can you leave your son in the guest room til he is old enough to make it thru the night without waking? He doesn't need much room. The pack and play is fine. My daughter slept in her's til she was 5 months old and only changed then to the crib because we were given one. She was perfectly fine in her pack and play.
I would suggest talking to your doctor about introducing formula if you really want him to sleep thru the night now. However there is no guarentee with formula either.

L. M

You might need to keep feeding him in the night for 2 more months when he is more ready to sleep through the night. Hang in there!