Help with 3 Yr Old Sleeping Through the Night

We have always had an open door policy, and children may come into our room if they awaken. The "rule" is they must come *quietly* and there is a sleeping bag and pillow on the floor by the bed on my side (mom). For the first few nights, your nephew might need help learning what quiet is and how to tuck himself in. But it works so nicely so we can all get more sleep. Many children have wakeful periods of time. Our family chose an option where we could hopefully sleep through this phase.

Hi! My daughter is also 3 1/2. This is a trying age even though they are adorable. My daughter, Madison has been a professional sleeper ever since she was about a year and we let her "cry it out" for a week and made her sleep in her bed, all night, no exceptions. A few months ago she started waking up and trying to come into our bed at about 2 or 3 a.m. We let her the first couple of nights and then realized that this could quickly become a habit. So we had to deal with another tough cry it out week and every time she came into our room at night we brought her immediately back to her bed. You can't talk to them or engage them, just right back to bed. Then in the morning we praised her for staying in her room. The bad habit went away fast but only because we were consistent. Good luck!

Have they just completed day-time potty training, and/or are now transitioning to night-time dryness? My daughter is a little younger then he is, and she is now waking up at night to go potty. Or she wakes up and says she has to go potty, even when she doesn't, as she has figured out that it is an acceptable excuse for getting out of bed. We do get up with her to help her use the bathroom, but put her back in her own bed once she is done. We also have a bright night light on a timer, and our rule is when the light is on, she is supposed to be in bed (otherwise she wakes us up too early). That has also helped with getting her compliance in the "it's time to go to bed" ritual -- you just can't argue with a light on a timer :-> . Another thing that I just used with success was a sticker reward system (I actually used a small "candyland" type game and token), and if she didn't get out of bed while the light was on, except to go potty, she could move the token a space the next morning, and when she got to the end, she was rewarded with a special treat (in her case it was a Chuck-E-Cheese outing).

Best Wishes,

A.

great responses so far to choose from. My now four year old has always had issues. yes, when stressed mostly. She has night terror issues. but when it is just to see mom, I say nothing, walk her (or carry) back to bed, tuck in, and say; time for bed. It may take a couple of times, but they learn that they are just in their bed. we talk during the day about parents belong in our bed, she belongs in hers, and her brother in his it is just how it is. "It is what it is, so don't get upset."

my kids used to wake up every time the heater or air conditioner came on, so i know how this feels. i keep a cd/tape player in my kids' room because music or books on tape/cd help them fall asleep by drowning out the noises of the house or the neighbors. and familiar songs are comforting. at 3 1/2 he could probably be taught how to push the play button himself in the middle of the night if he wakes up. my sister just puts a cd on repeat and lets it play all night. i also make sure they go to the bathroom the first time they get up. good luck! i hope for your sister's sake that it's just a short-lived phase!

Here's a question - does someone stay in the room with him until he is asleep? Everyone wakes up to some degree throughout the night, but most of us go right back to sleep. If something isn't right, however, we wake up more. If someone is in the room when he falls asleep, then leaves, he is expecting them to be there when he partially awakes. I have 2 suggestions if that is the case - email me and I'll share them if you want.
Good luck!
J.

1st cut back on naps or legnth of naps and also the time he takes a nap

also make sure he is eating dinner early enough and he shouldnt have anything besides water for 2-3 hours before bed.

Does he have ear problems sometimes it is acid reflux that could be waking him up

and last but not least put a fan or sound machine in with him as he falls asleep. I personally use the christmas light that move with the music.

Is he getting molars? Try tylenol. Or turn on some soft music and hit the repeat button so it will play all night.

My son started the same thing after a new baby and a move. At this age they are old enough to realixe that there will be rewards or consequences for their behavior. WIth my son I put on "white noise" or a fan in his room which helped calm him. If he woke up I would warn him that the next time I would turn off his fan, or if he woke up again I would have to shut his door, and finally I told him that he he stayed in bed all night we would watch his favorite cartoon in the morning.

I'd rule out any medical sorts of issues first. Then I'd take another look at his room and sleeping arrangement. Would a night light help; or conversely, is the night light he has too bright? Is he having a run of nightmares that mama could talk to him about? Is there something in his room that all of the sudden is frightening him-- like an odd toy or piece of artwork? Perhaps his pillow is lumpy or too stiff... After ruling that stuff out-- Ask the little tyke and see what he says about it all. She could implement an award system for going to sleep on his own. Despite what the expert literature said, I allowed my kids to listen to a book on tape/cd on some nights like that when it was late (and we'd already had our regular routine). Also, I allowed them to listen to lullabys or other light music while I went back to my own bed without them. The tapes run out and turn themselves off at some point and usually that was enough for my kids.

Kids will cycle through this sort of thing, so do adults but hopefully we have the skills to cope. When you are a little person it can be scary to wake up and find everyone is "gone". A special stuffed animal friend can help, some peaceful classical music (my kids used to like to go to sleep listening to traditional Native American music - the drum beat is the heartbeat). After a difficult divorce my kids had trouble with night terrors and staying asleep, we made dream catchers to catch the bad dreams. You can buy them but making your own is more effective, there are some books that explain how and the purpose. Knowing the intention is important. Knowing that the dream catcher is there and will take the bad dreams helps them get back to sleep.