B.R. asks from Carnegie, PA on August 26, 2006
Help with 10 Year Old Son
people tell me i'm to over portective of my 10 year old son because i will not let him run the roads like his 8 year old stepbrother can. i do not have custody of him right now and i know he needs his freedom but when i let him ride is bike he comes in after 15min.when i give him an hour. i don't know how to let go help me
R.S. answers from Pittsburgh on August 26, 2006
Hi B. R:
I am the mother of a son around the same age as yours, my son just turned 11 three weeks ago. I understand what you are going through but you have to start giving him the tools to take care of himself and to learn to make decision for himself.
You have to trust that you have given him the right tools to take care of himself and to make the right choices.
I have just recently allowed my son to adventure out on his own with his friends. But I have set up a perimeter in which he is allowed to travel. I bought a set of two way radios, not cell phone, so that he has to stay within that perimeter. We have been using the two-way radio for about 2 months and they have been working great. They have a 10 mile range and he can never use the excuse that he didn't have a signal.
No one knows your son as well as you do, trust that you have taught him well and he will do you proud.
2 moms found this helpful
D.K. answers from Portland on August 26, 2006
First think about where you live, is it safe, and second is how mature is he. Some 10 year olds are very mature and others not so much. I know i didnt let my daughter play outside by her self until she was in 6/7th grade. He is your son and you need to do what you think is right for him and for you. Remember if Mom isnt happy then nobody is...LOL
1 mom found this helpful
C.D. answers from Buffalo on September 20, 2006
I feel for you honestly I do. I've been there. But you do need to let them go a little bit at a time. I know it's HARD! They see other children thier age or younger allowed to run all over the place and it makes this issue even harder than it already is. Start by letting him go over one street, then two etc... You have to give them some room to grow and learn on thier own. Im afraid if you don't let go a little bit he will start to rebell. Mine did. I give him a little bit of freedom and depending on how he deals with that I reel him back in a little bit or let him go a little bit further.
L.T. answers from Erie on August 26, 2006
Hi B., I feel you doing the most positive thing for your son right now, stay tough. There are alot of things out there that go on that even us parents feel we are protecting them from and they end up finding them out anyways. For now hang on to him for as long as you can. There is nothing wrong with tough love and being strict and don't let anyone tell you differently! This comes from my own experiences with my 14 year old.
C.T. answers from York on August 27, 2006
I have a 7-year-old son myself and two step children that are older. So I get criticized a lot about not letting go. I feel you have to do whatís best for you because if your son gets hurt or something goes wrong you will never be able to for give yourself, neither will those people that are on your back. Take it one day & one situation at a time and hope for the best. Keep a line of communication open with you son and everything will be fine.
C.M. answers from Boston on August 28, 2006
I am in the same boat as you... My son just turned 11 and I dont let him run the streets either.. He is a very well behaved child and I know he wouldnt get into trouble. I have a hard time letting go also.. His friends of the same age are allowed to run the streets so he questions it often and so do my friends with children of the same age.. I have just recently started letting go a little step at a time.. I let him do a walk to the store or to the next street over to play basketball ( there is only a chain link fence seperating the two yards so I can see him over there :) but I still have a hard time.. He has more than earned my trust but I am taking it one situation at a time.
A. answers from Washington DC on August 28, 2006
I was the same way in our new neighborhood. When my son wanted to play ,within a certain boundary of course, I bought walkie-talkies. They were about $40.00 for a good set at Best Buy. Make sure you get the set with multiple channels. He could contact me or I could contact him at anytime. We also made up certian codes so others that might be tuned to the same channel couldn't understand. We used false names and had funny names for the streets and his friends. It worked GREAT!!!
I recommend getting the set that recharge during the night. We had the battery kind and some times the batteries would wear out during they day and I would walk around looking for him to tell him to come in for lunch.